Luke 2:41-52 · The Boy Jesus at the Temple
What To Do With A Self-willed Child
Luke 2:41-52
Sermon
by Charles H. Bayer
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Rearing children is never easy. My worst nightmare is having to go back and do it again. Grandchildren are super. We love to have them visit. We can spoil them rotten, and in two or three days they go home!

I spend a considerable part of my week listening to parents worry about their children. Either they are lazy, or they are into heaven knows what. They are stupid, or too smart for their own good. They have no initiative and are couch potatoes, or you never know what they are going to do next. They are sullen and silent, or they mouth off all the time. Displays of love and patience don't seem to make any difference, nor do sternness and punishment.

There are children who are slow witted, and children whose self-proclaimed knowledge boggles the mind. A father once placed the following sign in his front yard: Encyclopedias For Sale Cheap. Teenage Son Already Knows Everything. Given the anxieties of parents, how children ever manage to grow up is almost a miracle.

One wonders what kind of child Jesus was. We don't know. The scriptures are silent. Long after the events, certain church leaders wanted to prove Jesus was indeed God -- and always had been, so they invented miraculous stories about him, including tales from his childhood. Believe me, Jesus was nothing like other children. Once the neighborhood youngsters were shaping clay birds. One little fellow fashioned a particularly realistic looking bird, but Jesus outdid him. His bird not only looked like the real thing, but when he said the magic word and touchedit, it flew away. The point of this tall tale? Jesus was unlike the rest of us. The biblical tradition, however, goes out of its way to say that he was just like the rest of us -- flesh of our flesh, tempted just as we are tempted. That means his childhood must have been what we might call, "normal."

The one biblical incident we do have about Jesus' youth is recorded in Luke. We should not be surprised that it is seen through the eyes of Mary, his mother. Jesus is pictured as a self-willed, slightly disobedient child. In the story Mary is not painted as a shrinking violet, but as an irritated parent.

Three times a year pious Jewish families went to Jerusalem to participate in feasts. At Passover, during his 12th year, Jesus' family made the trip. They were not the only ones to travel to the capital from Nazareth. Both for protection and companionship families traveled together. You know how it is when families get together. The teenagers collect in their own swarm and do their own thing. Following the celebration and after a long day on the road home, Mary probably said to Joseph, "Have you seen Jesus?" "I guess he's with his friends," was the likely reply. "I'll go and tell him supper's ready." Joseph finds his buddies, but there is no Jesus. No, they haven't seen him all day.

You can imagine his parents' irritation and worry. "The boy is 12. It's about time he shows some responsibility. We give him all this freedom, but he just messes up," Joseph might have said. "But what if something has happened to him, Joseph? I'm so worried." That sounds like mothers I have known.

Mary and Joseph leave the caravan and head back to the city. After consulting with the police and checking the hospitals, they go to the place he was last seen, the temple. Sure enough, there he is. What is he up to?

In our undercroft we have a large copy of a famous oil painting depicting this story, which gets it wrong. It comes from an era when religious people were still uneasy with the notion that Jesus was like the rest of us. In this picture he is standing in the midst of the elders looking very wise, obviously delivering a lecture. He is talking and they are listening. He had, no doubt, appeared to instruct them in the law, as if he knew what they didn't. But that's not what the text says. They found him, says Luke, "listening to (the teachers) and asking them questions." He was not the authority; he was the student. He was there to listen and learn. Now it is true that the religious leaders were impressed by how much he knew, and by how he answered their questions. But there is nothing in this text which indicates he was a precocious know it all.

When she saw he was okay, Mary let him have it. Jesus gets a tongue lashing. "What's the matter with you? Why do you treat us like this? Your father and I have looked all over town for you! Don't you know how upset we have been?" That sounds about right to me. Do you have a difficult time thinking of the boy Jesus as occasionally thoughtless? Are we required to think of him as a china doll? If he was anything like the boys I have known, there were times when he was self-willed and stubborn. If that is not so, he has little in common with the rest of us.

I rather like the way Mary handled it. To her Jesus was not some divine son of God, far above all mortals. He was a self-willed child! I have known boys who think they are God's gift to the human race. They are obnoxious. If their mothers also think they are God's gift to the human race, they are insufferable. Any good mother will realize when her darling boy needs to be taken down a peg or two, and Mary was a good mother.

She gets his attention. He is not going to get away with such rudeness. She tells him what she thinks, and probably suggets he get his stuff together and hit the road -- doubletime. My guess is that when they got back home there were extra chores for Jesus to do. He might even have been grounded for a couple of weeks. I hate to think Jesus never pushed beyond the borders of what his parents thought he ought to be doing. If he wasn't that real, then he can't understand me.

After this reprimand, Jesus did what most teenagers I know do. He tried to get the last word -- something about needing to be in his father's house. Mary's response is mercifully not recorded.

I do not want to paint a negative picture of this lad. There are a number of remarkable qualities he expressed: independence, seriousness and perhaps most of all, a curiosity about ideas. If there is anything which frightens me about our younger generation it is that so many of them seem curious about practically nothing. Their attention span is as long as a television commercial. They respond to most questions about anything more serious than their latest hair style, "I don't know." And when they are honest add, "and I don't care." A recent survey suggests that number one on the agenda of most young people these days is having a good time. The problem is not with young people for whom having a good time is high on the list, but with young people for whom that is the only thing on the list. But let's not blame the youth. They learned this style from an older generation, whose commitment to much of anything beyond themselves is often mighty thin.

I listen to high school teachers lament that their classes are filled with glassy-eyed students, who look at them for two minutes at a time as if to say, "Go ahead, just try and teach me something." One wonders about our future. I suggest it lies with that minority of young people who are curious about their world, about ideas, about religious values, and about politics.

It is not that Jesus was a perfect child. He was not, if we take this text seriously. But he was curious, and curious young people will make a better world. My consistent worry is whether we have enough of them.

The text reports that the family returned home. Jesus had learned his lesson, and taken his medicine. "He was (from that time) obedient to them." We don't know what Joseph thought. Thetext does say, however, "his mother kept all these things in her heart." I guess that's just the way mothers are.

He was only 12 at the time: a self-willed, in-need-of-discipline 12. He, like all 12-year-olds, had some growing up to do; some bones to stretch out, some muscle to put on, some new urges and surges to deal with, and some spiritual maturing to go with the rest. And that is what happened. The text ends with a verse that covers the entire remainder of his childhood, youth and career as a young adult. "And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man."

A veil descends over his life. We do not see him again until he comes by the Jordan River and is baptized by John. We can only guess that in the ensuing years he did pretty much what his peers did. Yet there brooded in him something else; some sense that God was going to use him, that he had been chosen for a special task. And he never gave up being curious about what that task was. I wonder if he ever realized it would end on a Roman cross?

How do you handle a self-willed child? Take a page from Mary's book. You take him or her seriously. When you are angry and ill-used, you say so. But you remember that the child has a soul. You feed whatever curiosity about important things might be there. And you keep it all in your heart. And by the mercy and miracle of God -- the self-willed child increases day by day in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and humankind. "

CSS Publishing Lima, Ohio, When It Is Dark Enough, by Charles H. Bayer