Luke 2:41-52 · The Boy Jesus at the Temple
It Happens In The Best Of Families
Luke 2:41-52
Sermon
by King Duncan
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We give God thanks today for another New Year. We are eternal optimists, are we not? We somehow expect that this year will be better than last year. Deep in our hearts we agree with Lucy in the PEANUTS cartoons when she says, "I don't want ups and downs. I want ups and ups and ups!"

We are more realistic than that. Still, we hope for more ups than downs.

There is an old Eskimo blessing that goes like this: May you have warmth in your igloo, oil in your lamp, and peace in your heart. That is my New Year's wish for each of you.

Our lesson for the day from Luke's Gospel has to do with family life. The most important thing that could happen to many of us in 1989 would be that we might renew and strenghthen our ties as families. Thus it is entirely appropriate on this New Year's Day that we should deal with the subject of the Christian family.

We know that Jesus came from the best of families. We know that His father and mother were devout Jews who went to Jerusalem every year for the Passover. We know from stories about His birth, that Mary and Joseph trusted God. We know Jesus was versed in the Scriptures. He confounded the scholars in the temple with His questions when He was only twelve years of age. Scriptures were on His tongue throughout His ministry. Probably this was a tribute to Joseph. In the Jewish home the father had the responsibility of training his son in the faith. We know that Jesus came from the best of families.

Yet there happened in Jerusalem during Jesus' twelfth year an incident so extraordinary that it has found a place in our Bible. Perhaps it was related by one of Jesus' brothers after His death and resurrection. We know that at least two of Jesus' brothers were active in the early church. Perhaps it was they who told about the time Mary, Joseph and Jesus visited the temple at Jerusalem. Jesus was twelve years of age. On their journey home, about a day's journey from Jerusalem, Mary and Joseph discovered that Jesus wasn't with them. There was a large crowd of kinsfolk and friends from their community traveling together and it was not unusual to be unable to find a boy of twelve. There was no reason for them to miss Jesus.

They found him in the temple where he was amazing the scholars with his questions.

Mary scolded Him. She had been concerned, as any mother would have been concerned. She asked her son, "Why did you worry us like this? We've been looking for you anxiously."

Jesus answered, "Did you not know that I must be about my Father's business?"

Luke tells us that Mary and Joseph didn't really understand what Jesus meant by this, but He went home with them and was obedient to them. We are also told that Mary kept these things hidden in her heart, and that Jesus increased in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man.

Can't you imagine one of Jesus' brothers telling this story much, much later and saying the family knew even then that there was something unique about Jesus? Still, the family did not always know what to make of their oldest son. It happens even in the best of families.

Most of us are concerned about our families, aren't we? Our society is concerned about families. There is concern about such things as the breakup of families, and the welfare of socalled "latchkey kids." Baby boomers are having babies themselves. Since they are the generation that has dominated the headlines for years, the issue of family is more to the fore than ever. Someone has said the yuppies have entered the days of whines and strollers. So we are concerned about families. We should be concerned about families.

What is it that happens in the best of families? Well, for one thing, CONFLICT. We see this conflict between Mary and Joseph and their twelveyear old son. That's not unusual, is it? It would not the last time that there would be conflict between Jesus and Mary, his mother, and His brothers. They were, after all, a real family. Even in the best of families there is conflict.

There is conflict between husbands and wives. There is conflict between parents and children. I'm sure you're aware of the Ann Landers poll recently in which she asked mothers and fathers whether they would have children again if they had it to do over. Sixty per cent said, "No!" Other pollsters have had different results. Still we know that there can be a great deal of conflict in the home where children are present. Studies show that marital happiness reaches the low point in the average home when children reach their teens and rises when children leave home.

Of course, it's no picnic being on the other end of that conflict either, as an epidemic of teen suicides testifies. Sometime back a teenager in Bangor, Maine committed suicide. Before the week was out 33 others had tried to take their lives. There are 5000 teenagers each year who succeed. Teen suicides, alcoholism, and drug addiction; it's not easy being on the other end of parental child conflict.

Many of our families are like those famous two porcupines who, on a cold winter day, huddled together to endure the cold. When they did, they jabbed each other with their quills, and so they moved apart and got cold again. So, they moved back together, and they spent the rest of the day and the rest of the winter moving back and forth, and back and forth; huddling and hurting, huddling and hurting, huddling and hurting.

Even in the best of families, conflict takes place and we need to understand that, and accept that, and deal with that as the inevitable distancing process that must take place as a child grows toward adulthood. There comes a time for leaving Mom and Dad, a time for making one's own way, for forging one's own identity. So part of the conflict is a very natural process. We need not panic when hurtful words are spoken, when disturbing thoughts or ideas are expressed. It's part of moving out and that's part of God's plan. It happens even in the best of families.

It happened in Jesus' family. No matter how old Jesus was or how many other people He influenced, He was still Mary's son and they maintained that relationship. Sometimes it was a strained relationship but this is natural. It happens in the best of families.

But something else happens in the best of families: COMMUNICATION. Notice the reaction of Mary and Jesus to the conflict in our story for the morning. Jesus returned to Nazareth with His parents and was obedient to them. That doesn't mean that there were never any arguments, but He was an obedient son as a teenager.

A cartoon shows two boys walking to school, discussing their parents. One of them says to the other one, "I've figured out a system for getting along with my Mom. She tells me what to do and I do it."

I hope our young people understand the value of obedience. I believe every young person in this room knows that Mom and Dad are on your side. When they say, "What we really want is your best good," they really mean it. Even though parents can make mistakes, and often do, what's in their heart is what counts. Most young people appreciate that.

A recent survey of teenagers shows that most of them have a very positive feeling for their parents. Jesus had positive feelings about His parents.

From the other side, Mary scolded Jesus; but notice, she kept these things and pondered them in her heart. She loved her son. She wanted to understand Him. She wanted to reach out to Him. The picture the New Testament gives of this family is of a family in harmony. In such an environment Luke tells us that Jesus increased in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man.

There must have been a healthy communication within Jesus' home. There must have been mutual respect and love and concern. Of course, good communication begins with sensitivity on the part of parents.

Austin Pardue, in his book BOLD TO SAY, tells about a woman who lived on a busy street corner in the heart of a large city. One hot summer night she retired early. The telephone rang, she slept through it. Fire engines clanged around the corner and someone next door blasted the night with a radio dance program; she slept through it. Her sister arrived with a group of college friends who raided the ice box and played the phonograph full blast; she slept on. Then a remarkable thing occurred. From the rear room, at the opposite end of the house, came the faintest kind of a voice that said, "Mommy." Like a shot out of a gun, she was out of bed and at the side of her little threeyearold girl.

Many of you remember what it was like to have small children. You mothers remember what it was like to be sensitive to the slightest sound of a baby's cry. As children grow, we sleep more soundly; at least until the teenage years. Then we may lie awake a lot.

As our children grow we may sleep a little more soundly. We may not hear sounds in the night quite as well, but still we must train ourselves to listen. It's much easier to hear a threeyearold in the middle of the night than to hear the silent scream of a 13 yearold whose sense of self worth has just been crushed at school by a catty friend or an unthinking teacher.

Good communication begins with sensitivity; sensitivity and sharing; keeping the lines of communication open and the dialogue flowing. Sometimes we make a mistake of doing all the talking and not really listening. Particularly Dads are often guilty at this point.

One wise person commented, "If you want to make your mother happy, talk to her. If you want to make your father happy, listen." There is something very damning about that, Dads. Some of us need to do less talking and more listening. Yes! It happens in the best of families, conflict but also communication.

There's one thing more that you'll find in the best of families and that is COMMITMENT. In a healthy marriage a husband and wife are committed to each other as well as to their children. In a good marriage, that commitment grows. You may have heard about a new bride who was a bit embarrassed to be found to be on her honeymoon. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there were any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time. He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"

We joke about taking each other for granted in marriage and often it happens, but it's also very interesting to notice how often something else happens. In a good marriage, a couple's commitment to each other will grow, so that their relationship is much more intense after 20 years or 30 years or 40 years than it was the first year they were together. Husband and wifecommitted to each other and to their marriage.

Parents and children committed to each other. That, of course, is also a lifelong commitment. At each stage, however, the relationship changes.

Sloan Wilson, the author of THE MAN IN A GRAY FLANNEL SUIT, compared it to teaching a child to ride a bicycle. A certain amount of guidance and direction is required if you are going to teach your child to ride a bicycle, but at some indefinable point, the hovering father has to let go or the child will never learn to ride a bicycle. The purpose of the whole process will be frustrated and will be futile. Sometimes that's a painful process letting gobut letting go is an important part of loving.

Of course, the best families are committed not only to one another, but to God. The statistical evidence supporting active participation in church as a deterrent to a host of snares which await teenagers is overwhelming. The admonition of the Old Testament is a true one, "Bring up a child in the way it should go and it will not depart therefrom." That's more valid than it has ever been before.

It happens in the best of families, doesn't it? Conflict! Yes, even in Jesus' family, but more importantly, communication and commitment. Those latter two are worthy goals for each of us to set in our homes for the New Year.

Dynamic Preaching, Collected Sermons, by King Duncan