Luke 14:1-14 · Jesus at a Pharisee’s House
Who Should I Invite To My Party?
Luke 14:1-14
Sermon
by King Duncan
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Series: Jesus said . . . What? Outrageous Teachings, No. 1

Michael Yaconelli, in his book, Dangerous Wonder: The Adventure of Childlike Faith, says that the most critical issue facing Christians is not abortion, pornography, the disintegration of the family, moral relativity, MTV, drugs, racism, sexuality, or school prayer. The critical issue today, says Yaconelli, is dullness. We have lost our astonishment. The Good News is no longer good news, it is okay news. Christianity is no longer life changing, it is life enhancing. Jesus doesn't change people into wild-eyed radicals anymore, he changes them into "nice people." (1)

If it's true that we have become dull, it's not because of our Master. Jesus was anything but dull. In fact, Jesus said some outrageous things. Even outrageous by our standards. And we are going to be looking at some of these outrageous teachings over the next four Sundays. The series is titled, "Jesus said . . . what?" Today we're going to learn how to throw a party.

A married couple trying to live up to a snobbish lifestyle went to a party. The conversation turned to Mozart. "Absolutely brilliant. Magnificent. A genius!"

The woman, wanting to join in the conversation, remarked casually, "Ah, Mozart. You're so right. I love him. Only this morning I saw him getting on the No. 5 bus going to Coney Island."

There was a sudden hush, and everyone looked at her. Her husband was mortified. He pulled her away and whispered, "We're leaving right now. Get your coat and let's get out of here." As they drove home, he kept muttering to himself. Finally his wife turned to him. "You're angry about something."

"Oh really? You noticed?" he sneered. "I've never been so embarrassed in my life! You saw Mozart take the No. 5 bus to Coney Island? You idiot! Don't you know the No. 5 bus doesn't go out to Coney Island?" (2)

I wonder if anyone here today has ever gone to a party with the hopes of making a good impression? Has anybody here ever THROWN a party that you hoped made a good impression? There are many of the teachings of Jesus that we give lip service to, but if we were to follow them, we would be regarded as eccentric and a bit radical. Today's lesson is a good example. At first it's kind of amusing.

Jesus was eating at the house of a prominent Pharisee. When he noticed how the guests chose the places of honor, he told them a parable:

"When you are invited by someone to a wedding banquet, do not sit down at the place of honor, in case someone more distinguished than you has been invited by your host; and the host who invited both of you may come and say to you, 'Give this person your place,' and then in disgrace you would start to take the lowest place. But when you are invited, go and sit down at the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he may say to you, 'Friend, move up higher'; then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at the table with you. For all who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted."

Strange lesson, but so far, so good. Don't seek out a place of honor. Rather let a place of honor seek you. Pretty good advice. It would be embarrassing if you sat down at the head table and then discovered you weren't suppose to be at the head table. How much better to choose a place out in the crowd; then when everyone is gathered, let the host seek you out and lead you to the head table while everyone watches with envy and admiration.

If you're in business, this principle could be spelled out like this: Spend less money on advertising and more on building a quality product. We live in a time of hyperbole. Exaggeration. Few products live up to their advertising. When one does, we are surprised, delighted. But, of course, I doubt this is what Jesus had in mind. He seems to be advocating a lifestyle of humility. Nothing ground shaking there.

It's the second part of this lesson that's disturbing. Let's imagine your daughter is getting married. Jesus says in effect, "Don't invite your boss and all your well-off friends to your daughter's reception. Rather, go to the worse part of downtown and pick up some homeless people and invite them. In fact, you might make a list of the last people on earth you would want at your daughter's wedding. Those are the very people you should invite. Fill the hall with people in rags who haven't had a bath in a week." Now THIS is the Word of the Lord. I expect each of you to follow this step-by-step when your daughter gets married. I'm being absurd, of course. Not everything in Scripture is meant to be taken at face value. This is a parable. Jesus is making a point--but what point? Well, let's wrestle with this a few minutes.

Here is one principle that is unavoidable: it's more important what God thinks of you than what your friends think of you.

Let's face it: one of the most powerful motivators in life is, What will my friends think? We counsel our young people, don't give in to peer pressure. Just because everyone else is using drugs doesn't mean you should use drugs. Just because the popular kids in your school are having casual sex doesn't mean it's the healthy or the right thing for you to do. Just because all your friends are making the honor roll . . . Oops. Well, there are different kinds of peer pressure. Let's face it, though. It takes a lot of character on the part of a young person, sometimes, to say "No."

Chuck Swindoll tells about a study of teenagers and peer pressure. The design of the study was simple. They brought groups of ten adolescents into a room for a test. Each group was instructed to raise their hands when the teacher pointed to the longest line on three separate charts. What one person in the groups of ten did not know was that the other nine had been instructed ahead of time to vote not for the longest line, but for the second-longest line.

Do you get the picture? Regardless of the instructions they heard, once they were all together in the group, the nine were not to vote for the longest line, but rather vote for the next to the longest line. This left the tenth student being the only one who would be voting for the longest line. Guess what happened. Time after time, this tenth student would glance around, frown in confusion at the way the others were voting, and slip his hand up with the group. The instructions were repeated and the next card was raised. Each time, the self-conscious stooge would sit there saying a short line is longer than a long line, simply because he lacked the courage to challenge the group. This remarkable conformity occurred in about 75% of the cases, and was true of small children and high-school students as well. (3)

It's hard to say no to the crowd. And becoming an adult doesn't make it much easier. You may know the story of the woman who was interviewed by reporters on her 102nd birthday. When asked what was the best thing about passing the century mark, she answered, "No peer pressure!"

Adults are often as susceptible to peer pressure as are young people. What professional doesn't want to impress his or her colleagues? Why do we throw big money on weddings in the first place? To impress our friends. Why do we buy expensive cars? Build large homes? It's because we care what other people think. Some people will go into debt for years to make a favorable impression on their friends.

Spiritual maturity comes when you are more interested in pleasing God than you are in pleasing others. That means doing the right thing rather than the expedient thing. That's an unavoidable principle found in Jesus teaching. It's more important to please God than to make a good impression on your friends.

But here's what we must also understand: Doing the right thing in the long run makes the best impression, even on our friends. Jesus wants you to have the respect and admiration of your friends, but for the right reasons. You can't buy the respect of your friends--no matter how impressive your parties, no matter how large your house or how expensive your automobile. The best way to win their respect and their admiration is to live a life of quality.

Seth Godin, in a book titled Wisdom, Inc. gives a beautiful example of this in the business world. He tells two stories from the early days of J. Walter Thompson advertising--one of the true giants in the advertising world.

Norman Strauss was chairman of the J. Walter Thompson agency in the early 1960s. Electronics company RCA--pioneers of so many of the radios, televisions, record players, etc. that many of us grew up with--once gave Strauss a new reel-to-reel tape recorder to advertise. Subsequently Strauss marched into the office of RCA's CEO and announced that the machine they had given him chewed up tape and turned it into spaghetti. Strauss said, "The product doesn't work. We can't advertise it."

The RCA CEO replied curtly, "If that's your point of view, we'll give some other agency the entire RCA account."

The CEO's threat didn't faze Strauss. He turned to walk out the door.

"Wait a minute," shouted the RCA chief. "If you feel so strongly you're willing to sacrifice the whole account, it must be a bad product. We'll fix it."

So J. Walter Thompson kept the account. Kevin Dolan, a young executive in the ad agency was standing outside the door when Strauss confronted the RCA executive. Dolan says this event made a tremendous impression on him because it stood for the integrity of the company.

Later, when Dolan became deputy head of J. Walter Thompson's international accounts, Frederick's of Hollywood, the purveyor of sexy lingerie, wanted to give him its international account. "Turned out they needed our good name," says Dolan.

Kevin Dolan told Frederick's of Hollywood that was exactly the reason his firm wouldn't handle their business--if they gave Frederick's their name it would no longer stand for a certain ethical standard. (4) Wow! I wonder if that would happen today?

Are there still people with that kind of integrity in advertising? I hope so. Do you have that kind of integrity in your work? Jesus says that it's a lot more important what God thinks of you than what your friends and associates think of you. But it is also true that, in the long run, doing the right thing pays off.

Here is one thing more that is unavoidable in this lesson for today: Showing compassion for those less fortunate than you is always the right thing to do.

Life is very hard for some people. Through no fault of their own, many people are at a terrible disadvantage. How you think about people who do not have the advantages you have says a great deal about the condition of your heart.

In 1998, sportscaster Jim Huber taped a story about a young man who had overcome a devastating injury and was still able to build a happy life for himself. At the age of six, this boy lost both his legs in an accident. At this point, he could have given up. Instead, this young man learned to get around on his hands. He got a paper route, and delivered newspapers each morning in his wheelchair. He participated in various school sports. He even joined a Little League team, where he played right field.

As Jim Huber went over the video footage of his interview with this amazing young man, his editor put into words what everyone else was thinking: "Next time I complain about anything," he said, "anything at all . . . kick me, will you?" (5)

Many people overcome staggering challenges that you and I may not even know about. Do people have to fit a certain image, a certain income, a certain set of accomplishments before you can count them as your friends? If that's true, you're very human--you're just not very much like Jesus. But the choice is yours.

It's easy to have a hard heart in today's world. It's easy to turn a blind eye to people's hurts and needs and to excuse our behavior by writing them off as undeserving. But it will never pass the WWJD test, what would Jesus do?

On July 3, 1988, an American navy cruiser, thinking itself to be under attack by an Iranian F-14, gunned down an Iranian airliner. Two hundred ninety passengers died in the attack. Polls revealed that most Americans were against paying compensation to the victims' families. The Iranian hostage crisis was still fresh in many minds. In spite of this, President Ronald Reagan, not known for liberal tendencies, approved compensation. Afterward, he was asked by reporters if such payment would send the wrong signal to the Iranians. His reply was this, "I don't ever find compassion a bad precedent." (6)

Among many of the most prominent people in our society today, compassion is a bad word. "Let people work for their success just like I did," is the credo of these folks. They're not bad folks. They just don't have the heart of Jesus. Do you?

It's more important what God thinks of you than what your friends think of you. In the long run doing the right thing will make the best impression. Showing compassion for those less fortunate than you is always the right thing to do.


1. (Colorado Springs, CO: Navpress, 1998).

2. Ed Peacher's "˜Laughter for a Saturday' - Email <ed548@yahoo.com to subscribe.

3. Chuck Swindoll, Living Above The Level of Mediocrity (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1989).

4. HarperBusiness, New York, 1995, pp. 42-43.

5. Jim Huber, A Thousand Goodbyes (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2001), pp. 115-117.

6. From the Internet. Source unknown.

Dynamic Preaching, Collected Sermons, by King Duncan