Luke 14:1-14 · Jesus at a Pharisee’s House
Table Manners
Luke 14:1-14
Sermon
by Alex Gondola
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Ethel Barrymore, the great stage and screen actress, was a stickler for good manners. She once invited a younger actress to a dinner party at her home. But the young lady never appeared. She didn't even bother to offer an excuse or make an apology. She just didn't show up. Several days later Ethel Barrymore and the young lady met by chance at a museum. Embarrassed, the younger actress began, "Miss Barrymore, I believe I was invited to your house last Thursday evening for dinner." To which Ethel Barrymore responded coolly, "Yes, I believe I did invite you. Were you there?" (The Little, Brown Book of Anecdotes, Clifton Fadiman, editor, Little, Brown and Company, p. 40).

An amusing story. But one which also reminds us of the importance of good manners. And apparently, there is a revival of interest in etiquette in this country at this time. Witness the wild success of Judith Martin, "Miss Manners." "Miss Manners" is that syndicated columnist and author of books on etiquette. Her books have been wildly and unexpectedly successful best-sellers. I love some of the titles: Common Courtesy, Guide to the Millennium, Guide to Exquisitely Correct Behavior, Painfully Proper Weddings, and her latest: Miss Manners Rescues Civilization.

And "etiquette academies" are springing up around America! One in Chicago charges 500 dollars a day to teach the difference between a dessert and a salad fork. They also teach their students how not to eat spaghetti! (Cape Cod Times, February 3, 1997) Hint: Don't get the end of a foot-long noodle in your mouth, then suck it up with a loud smacking sound!

There are "charm schools" for children. And, in Los Angeles an etiquette training course, 24 weeks long, at 125 dollars an hour, for street-wise, high-earning rock stars and rap stars. These "home boys" (and girls) straight from the "hood" often need to negotiate million dollar contracts. They have discovered that they make more money when they behave appropriately, at least around record company execs. One recent graduate was a rhythm and blues star who used to amaze reporters by opening a beer bottle with her teeth. Her etiquette advisors told her not to. Even college students have been turning out, with short hair and appropriate dress, for formal dances on campus. Many Americans are interested in "minding their manners" once again.

"So," I thought, "what about a sermon on manners: table manners, communion table manners?" What attitudes and behaviors do we need to bring to the Lord's Supper? Now there are no clear guidelines in Scripture on the "right" way or "wrong" way to take communion. Different churches -- they even call them different "communions" -- take communion in different ways. And that's okay. Some have the Sacrament weekly, others monthly. A church I once served had communion only seven times a year -- three of those times in Holy Week! Some take communion at the altar rail, others receive it in the pews, some with wine, some with grape juice, some with wafers, some with loaves of bread, some with bread cubes.

I don't think the details of Communion are critically important. But it seems to me, our attitude is. In fact, it seems to me Jesus dropped a few hints about attitudes in the fourteenth chapter of Luke. There we see Jesus attending a dinner himself. Jesus was so fascinating that even his enemies would invite him to dinner. Although sometimes, as on this occasion, his enemies were also trying to trip him up.

In this chapter, Jesus tells three stories about suppers. I see implications in each story for our reception of the Lord's Supper. One, the Parable of the Great Feast, stresses the importance of attending when invited. A rich man invites lots of people to a feast. In those days, dinner parties were big events. They could go on for a week. No expense was spared.

The servants were sent out with invitations to the social event of the year. Yet excuses were all they brought back. Some of the excuses were quite lame. One man said he had just bought a piece of land. Now, he had to go see it. Don't you think that's suspicious? Who buys a piece of land without checking it out first? Another man said he had just bought ten new oxen and had to test them. Suspicious again: who would make an expensive purchase, like a car, without test driving it first? A third man said he had to stay home with his new wife. Great idea, but totally out of character in that society. Sadly, in those days women were treated as possessions. It was the wife's obligation to please her husband -- almost never the other way around.

Jesus' listeners must have laughed on hearing those excuses. But, the host in the story didn't laugh. He got understandably angry. No one likes to be taken for granted. But remember, the host in the story represents God! When Jesus first told the parable, the ones receiving the invitations were the Pharisees. They didn't respond. Today, the ones receiving the invitations are us! We are each invited to God's Messianic banquet feast, the Lord's Supper. Do we recognize the wonder of that invitation? Do we accept it with joy?

I like the attitude of Thomas Merton, the Trappist monk and writer, on receiving Communion. Merton writes that, as he received the Sacrament for the first time, as an adult, he thought to himself:

Heaven was entirely mine ... Christ, hidden in the small host, was giving himself for me and to me, and with himself the entire Godhead and Trinity ... Christ was born in me, his new Bethlehem, and sacrificed in me, his new Calvary, and risen in me ... (God) called out to me from his own immense depths. (The Seven Story Mountain, Image Books, pp. 273-274)

Thomas Merton sensed the wonder of God's invitation to communion and received it joyfully. So should we. Gratitude is part of good table manners. This morning, can we thank God in our hearts for the blessing of being invited to the Lord's Supper?

A second parable in the fourteenth chapter of Luke is the Parable of Places at Table. This parable points out the danger of thinking too much of ourselves as we come to the table. One of the guests at a wedding feast sits down boldly in the best place. The host comes along and tells the presumptuous guest to take a lower place, somewhere "below the salt." It's a humiliating and embarrassing moment for the presumptuous guest.

Jesus' point is: "Those who make too much of themselves will be humbled. But those who humble themselves before God and each other will be lifted up" (v. 11, paraphrased). Good manners at the communion table also include not thinking too much of ourselves.

I like the story historians tell about the funeral of Charlemagne. Charlemagne was the greatest Christian ruler of the early Middle Ages. After his death a mighty funeral procession left his castle for the cathedral at Aix. When the royal casket arrived, with a lot of pomp and circumstance, it was met by the local bishop, who barred the cathedral door.

"Who comes?" the Bishop asked, as was the custom.

"Charlemagne, Lord and King of the Holy Roman Empire," proclaimed the Emperor's proud herald.

"Him I know not," the Bishop replied. "Who comes?"

The herald, a bit shaken, replied, "Charles the Great, a good and honest man of the earth."

"Him I know not," the Bishop said again. "Who comes?"

The herald, now completely crushed, responded, "Charles, a lowly sinner, who begs the gift of Christ."

To which the Bishop, Christ's representative, responded, "Enter! Receive Christ's gift of life!"

The point, of course, is that in God's eyes, we're all equally needy. Charlemagne, Mother Teresa, you and me. None of us will ever be "good enough" to force entrance into the presence of God.

I'm reminded of the definition of "nervous" I once heard. Do you know what "nervous" is? "Nervous" is standing in line at the Pearly Gates behind Mother Teresa, and hearing Saint Peter say to Mother Teresa, "I'm sorry, dear, you haven't done enough!"

A good story! But with a truth. As we come to the Lord's Table, we're all sinners in need of salvation, beggars needing bread. We are "the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind" in that third story. Maybe not literally poor, crippled, lame, and blind, but spiritually poor, crippled, lame, and blind. Yet God graciously includes us as guests at God's Table. Good communion table manners include coming to the table without thinking too much of ourselves.

And, finally, good communion table manners include coming without looking down on any other guest, for all of us are God's equally beloved guests. King George IV desired Communion and sent a servant to bring the Bishop of Winchester. When the servant arrived with the Bishop, the King was angry. He felt his servant had taken too long. The King upbraided the man and fired him on the spot.

Having done that, he turned to the Bishop for Communion. But the Bishop refused to proceed. He saw that the King was still angry. Realizing the Bishop was right, the King called for his servant, apologized, and restored the man's job. Only then could Communion proceed. Part of good table manners is extending graciousness to the other guests. As we have been forgiven and welcomed by God, let us forgive and welcome each other. The Apostle Paul advises us to "examine ourselves" before we receive Communion (1 Corinthians 11:28). Have we received God's invitation with joy? Do we recognize ourselves in our neediness? Are we open to the other guests? These are good "Table Manners."

CSS Publishing Company, Come As You Are, by Alex Gondola