1 John 3:11-24 · Love One Another
I Love You — If You Know What I Mean
1 John 3:16-24
Sermon
by John B. Jamison
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The young couple sat together and they gazed into each other’s eyes. One leaned toward the other, but the other hesitated and leaned away. “But, I love you,” the first spoke, “C’mon, it’s okay; you know I love you.”

The parent looked into the child’s eyes and said, “You understand that I did that because I love you?” The child held their swollen cheek and tried to nod. “And because I love you so much, it is my responsibility to teach you the difference between right and wrong.” The child tried to nod again. “But,” the parent said, “some people don’t understand what it means to love someone. So if anyone asks, you tell them that bruise came from your ballgame this afternoon; understand?”

The nation that says it is founded on God’s love and has almost unlimited material possessions, sometimes puts people who have come to them suffering and possessing nothing, into detention camps, taking children from their parents and putting them in to crowded cages where they are abused and lost in red tape. That nation proclaims they are doing it to teach those people and the world what it means to do the right thing.

The woman who has just buried her child comes to the church to try and find some easing of the pain that is tearing her life apart. The church smiles at her and says, “God loves you so much that he is just testing you and has given you this loss to make you stronger. But don’t worry because God will never give you more than you can bear.”

We could all give more examples, but let me stop here and ask the obvious question: What does it mean to love someone? We say and hear it a lot: I love you. I imagine many of us have said it a few times today. I love you. Why do we say it? What do we mean when we say it? I guess there are a lot of reasons. Sometimes we say it because we are overwhelmed with feelings for someone dear to us. Sometimes we say it because we want something. Sometimes we say it to justify something we have done or want to do. Sometimes we say it to get out of trouble for something we did, or forgot to do. Sometimes we say it because someone else said it to us first.

I love you.

John wrote today’s passage to the early church to help them understand what it meant on Easter morning when God said, “I love you.” They understood it meant they were to love others as God loved them, but they had different ideas as to just what that meant.

The couple had been married for several years when the husband had the experience that led him to make the decision to become a Christian and join that church. His wife was not opposed to his decision and was not by any means a bad person, but while she did come to church with her husband, she did not feel the desire to convert to Christianity and become a full member of the church. Out of their love and concern   for the husband, a committee from the church went to the husband and urged him to leave his wife because she was a threat to his own salvation. The couple was happily married and their religious differences had no impact at all upon that marriage. But he still divorced his wife and never spoke with her again.

There was a family that had been a part of everyone’s lives before the local church was started. They ran a store that everyone in town went to and supported. That family did not join the church when it began, although they continued to do all they could to help and support the entire community. The members of the church no longer shopped in that family’s store. They no longer talked with anyone from that family. As a result, the family business was failing and the family was going to lose their home. Church members loved that family enough, they tried to help the family understand that they needed to join the church.

And there was the man who recently moved to town and was staying with family members. He was lonely and afraid after having to leave his home and start over in a new place. He was active in his previous church, and he attended the morning service there with his relatives who are members of this church. The church he used to attend, and still officially belongs to, believes it is acceptable for women to take an active role in their services, which is something this church does not believe. Because the church loves the man so much, as he comes to the altar with his family to take part in communion this morning, he is passed by and not allowed to take part in the Lord’s Supper.

John was writing to a church that was trying to understand what it meant to love others the way God wanted them to love. He explained it by writing,

We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us — and we ought to lay down our lives for one another. How does God’s love abide in anyone who has the world’s goods and sees a brother or sister in need and yet refuses to help? Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action. (1 John 3:16-18)

From a couple thousand years away, that one line seems pretty clear,

How does God’s love abide in anyone who has the world’s goods and sees a brother or sister in need and yet refuses to help? (1 John 3:17)

It’s not one of those vague, theological things like John wrote at the beginning of his gospel. This sounds like something they all should have understood then, and we should understand today. Right?

Nope. Let’s look at what the early church did with that statement, and what we tend to still do today.

First, they asked just who this “each other” is that we are to lay our lives down for? In other places, John says “brothers and sisters.” Some of those in the church, then and now, take that to mean brothers and sisters in the church; those who believe what we believe. Those who are not a part of our faith? Nah, those aren’t included in the command.

For me to love you as God wants me to, first be a part of my group; my church, my country, my race, my social views, my status, my… it’s a long list. But I will remind us there were no lines or fences outside the empty tomb on Easter morning and no list of qualifications for being one of those that Jesus died for. In fact, that morning there wasn’t even a church to belong to if you wanted. Jesus died for everyone, everywhere, and that is the criteria for those we are to love; be someone, somewhere. People don’t have to somehow earn our love any more than we earned God’s love. And to be honest with you, if love was something that we had to earn, I think we would all pretty much be out of luck.

Okay then, I’m supposed to love everyone, everywhere, and when I see someone in need, I am to not just show God’s love with words, but with actions. But what kind of actions? What does loving them mean? Weren’t the actions of those groups in the church showing God’s love by forcing those people to realize they needed to change? Isn’t it an act of love to sometimes make a point; isn’t that what ‘tough love’ is all about?

I think John would point out that the idea of ‘tough love’ is something we created, not God. Receiving God’s love was pretty much the opposite of tough. That was it. Loving a brother or sister doesn’t mean we are emotionally ‘in love’ with them. It means we value them as fellow children of God and will help them when they have a need.

But one Bible version of John’s passage says we should show pity for the suffering. Isn’t showing pity an action?

I think John would say that, if we pity someone who is suffering, it does not mean we feel sorry for them or we are saying “tsk tsk” while we shake our heads at how unfortunate they are and why we believe they are where they are. For John, having pity means we are doing something to help remove the person’s suffering. If what we do ignores the suffering, or somehow increases that suffering, or somehow uses that person’s suffering as an opportunity to try to teach a lesson or prove something we believe in, whatever it is we are doing is not an act of God’s love.

Okay, I am to love everyone, everywhere. When I see someone in need and suffering I am to do something that eases that suffering. But, tell me this, what does it actually mean to be in need? What if that person could probably ease their suffering all on their own if they just tried to work a little harder, or straightened out their behavior? Is that really a need I should be helping with? Wouldn’t it be better if I let them fix it themselves? I mean, if I do it and they don’t change their ways, what’s going to keep them from getting back in the same situation later? I wonder if John might respond by saying that another person’s suffering is not based on our rules or opinions? Whether or not a person is suffering and feeling pain isn’t based on what we believe qualifies as legitimate suffering. We just need to remember that each one of us has the same need for some feeling of security, the need for access to food and nourishment, the need to feel that we have a place at the human table of worth, the need to feel at least some small piece of hope. When any of those are missing, we suffer. I don’t need to agree with their suffering, I just need to help ease it. I just need to share God’s love with them and give them the opportunity to look at the world differently than they do now. It isn’t my responsibility to worry about what they will do after I love them. God will take care of that. My job is to love them. If I am spending my time classifying the one in need, I am not acting. That means I am not loving.

The members of the early church John wrote to all believers that they should love their brothers and sisters, but they did not agree on what it meant to love, and who their brothers and sisters were that should be loved. We come here two thousand years later and hear the same words,

How does God’s love abide in anyone who has the world’s goods and sees a brother or sister in need and yet refuses to help? (1 John 3:17)

How are we doing? When we see someone in need, especially someone who looks and acts very differently than us, who does not know how to do things the way we do things, who does not believe all of the same things we believe, who maybe came here from a place we aren’t familiar with, and who maybe came here in a way that wasn’t how people are supposed to come here, what is our response?

How are we doing?

Do we try to understand and accept them as our brother or sister in need? Do we do something to help remove their suffering? Do we do something to try and give them hope?

Do we love our brothers and sisters as God first loved us? When we say, “I love you,” just what do we mean?

Amen.

CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Ambassadors for Christ : sermons based on second lessons for Lent and Easter, by John B. Jamison