1 Corinthians 13:1-13 · Love
Hold the Candy
1 Corinthians 13:1-13
Sermon
by Mary Austin
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As we continue in the season of Epiphany, we hear more of Paul’s letter to the Corinthian church. This reading is often read at weddings, and it’s fun to consider it as a letter to a whole community, rather than to an individual, or two people.

If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13)

Love it or hate it, Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. We’re surrounded by hearts and ads for flowers, balloons, and candy to take to your beloved. If you haven’t been to the card store yet, this is your reminder. You’re welcome.

So do you love it or hate it?

Do you love the emphasis on celebrating the people in your life, the pink cupcakes, the candy, the surprise gifts, the cards where something unexpected is revealed from someone very familiar?

Or, do you hate the emphasis on happy couples, paired off two by two as you miss someone dear to you, or grieve a break-up? Do you hate the sugar and sweetness that forgets that every real relationship has difficulties as well as joys?

If aliens were to arrive on our planet, they might reasonably guess that the word love applied only to shiny, happy, in-shape, perfect couples, or celebrities getting together. But all of you know that love comes in many shapes and forms…the grown-up son or daughter taking care of a parent through a long illness…the parent who fights every day for the child with special needs…the couple whose misty-eyed honeymoon has given way to decades of learning to accommodate each others’ dreams, quirks, and passions…the gay or lesbian couple struggling to be seen in our society.

Paul’s letter to the church in the city of Corinth addresses this wider vision of love. Our passage follows a section where he reminds this whole church community to value each other’s gifts. Without an array of talents and experiences, the community is one-sided. The lawyers needed to appreciate the artists, and the engineers needed to listen to the poets, the extroverts are balanced by the introverts, the people with disabilities have a lot to teach the rest of us, the athletes need to slow down for the people with walkers, and the teachers needed to appreciate the musicians. Paul is addressing the whole community of the church in this passage. It was not meant for a few individuals in their faith lives, but for the whole community. This passage is sometimes read at weddings and commitment ceremonies where two people promise their lives to each other. At the beginning of their lives together, it can be heard as a hope more than an accomplishment, a promise more than a reality. It’s also often read at funerals, celebrating a life fully lived in using one’s gifts for others. It has special resonance in those settings, but it also belongs to the whole community of faith.

Paul continues to instruct the church at Corinth about how to live together as people of faith. He reminds us that if we speak with all the learning in the world, but people can’t understand us, we’re missing the Spirit of God. If we speak in tongues — a hotly debated topic in the church at Corinth — if no one gets the message we are speaking, it’s useless. If faith never gets from our head to our heart, we’re missing the gift of God within us.

For Paul, love is both a gift from God and a choice. Love is not the movie-magic heart fluttering we associate with romance, but the daily choices we make…the ways we act…the repeated way we choose to organize our lives for someone else. As Scott Peck said in the classic book The Road Less Traveled, love is work. “Love is not a feeling,” he says. He added, “keeping an eye on a four- year- old at the beach, concentrating on the interminable disjointed story told by a six-year-old, teaching a teenager how to drive, truly listening to the tale of your spouse’s day…all these tasks are often boring, frequently inconvenient, and always energy-draining. They mean work.”

Writer and teacher Jack Kornfield often tells the story of a young man who wanted to join a gang (see story in After the Ecstasy, the Laundry). This young man had to prove himself worthy by shooting someone. He went out and shot someone he didn’t even know, killed another young man, and then was caught. He was put on trial and convicted. Every day, the mother of the young man he shot came to the trial and watched him. She glared at him, but never said anything.

At the end of the trial, just before they took him away to jail, the mother looked him in the eye and said, simply, “I’m going to kill you.”

After a year or so in prison, the guard told him that he had a visitor. It was this woman, the mother of the young man he killed. He was nervous about seeing her again but he didn’t have any other visitors, so he agreed. They talked for a while, and she asked him if he needed anything. She came back to see him again, every few months. He was still nervous, but a little less so each time she came.

Finally, it was time for him to get out and she asked him about his plans. “I have no idea. I don’t have any family, or any job prospects.” So she contacted a friend of hers, and helped him get a job. Then she asked where he planned to live, and, again, he didn’t know. She offered him her spare room, and he came to stay for a while. She made sure he got up, and got to work. She made sure he had enough to eat.

After a couple of months, she said, “Do you remember that day in court when you were convicted of murdering my son for no reason at all, to get into your gang, and I stood up and said, ‘I’m going to kill you?’”

“Yes,” he said. “I’ll never forget that.”

As Jack Kornfield tells it, she said, “I killed that boy. I didn’t want a boy who could kill in cold blood like that to continue to exist in this world. So I set about visiting you, bringing you presents, bringing you things, and taking care of you. And now I have let you come into my house, got you a job, and gave you a place to live…I set about changing you, and you’re not that same person anymore.” I want to know, she said, if you’d like to stay here. “I’m in need of a son, and I want to know if I can adopt you.”

He said yes and she did.

The feeling of love is never going to be enough. 

It’s how we live.

It’s true at home, and equally true in the church community. We flourish because of the gifts that grow from the work of love. Love is the concrete acts — our choices, our work, and our will. Love has deep patience, and determined kindness, and sees far into the future.

In the name of the God who is love, Amen.

Prayer:

God of love, we praise you for every act of self-giving love, and for your love for us, which surrounds us, holds us up, fills our lives and leads us to you. Help us to live up to this vision of love. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Meeting God at the mall: Cycle C sermons based on second lessons for Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany, by Mary Austin