John 14:5-14 · Jesus the Way to the Father
Family Resemblance
John 14:5-14
Sermon
by King Duncan
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There was a story on the Internet recently that proves rednecks aren’t confined to the southern part of the United States. According to this story a man in Australia was fined after police discovered that he had used a seat belt to buckle in a case of beer while his five-year-old son was consigned to playing in the car’s floor totally unprotected.

Constable Wayne Burnett said he was “shocked and appalled” when he pulled over the car one Friday in the Australian town of Alice Springs. A 30-can beer case was strapped safely in between two adults while the child sat on the floor. (1)

We definitely know where that father’s priorities were. Here’s the question for the day: Will his son someday have the same skewed values? Have you heard the expression, “like father, like son?” Our topic today is “family resemblance.”

Once, years ago, there was a band of pirates who swept through a village in China. These pirates captured all the men of the town and carried them away. One of these captured men was a Mr. Li. Mr. Li left behind him a wife and small son.

Mrs. Li worked hard to provide for her son, but times were tough for a single mom. And years passed with no word of her captured husband.

Meanwhile, the little boy was always asking of his mother, “What did father look like!”

Her answer always was the same, “When you were little everyone said you looked like your father.”

As the boy grew older, he ran with the wrong crowd, and took to opium, smoking, and heavy drinking. His rough life gradually affected his appearance.

One day Mrs. Li got word that someone had seen her husband alive in Singapore. She immediately sent the boy, now a young man, to look for him. Upon arriving in Singapore the young man bought a stool and a mirror and seated himself at a street corner. That was the only way to know if his father came by. He would look for someone who looked like the face he saw in the mirror.

One day a man came by claiming to be his father. The young man didn’t believe this man. He said, “My mother told me to look for someone who looked exactly like me. This mirror is the only way I can compare faces. You don’t look at all like me.”

However, he accepted this man as his friend. The man even gave him a job. For six months they stayed together while he worked in his new friend’s shop.

One day the young man realized he had been so busy and so happy that his promise to his mother had been forgotten. He again took his mirror and stool to search for his father. Before he left the shop, however, he held up the mirror for one more look. In the mirror staring back at him this time he saw not only his own face, but the face of his friend. It was amazing in the six months of association and the desire to please his new-found friend he had grown to look like his friend, who was indeed his father. (2)

Jesus says in our lesson for today, “When you have seen me, you have seen my father.” And that is often true, isn’t it? Children often resemble their parents.

In the South someone might say, “He’s the spittin’ image of his Daddy.” I don’t know where that expression came from. An Internet search comes up fruitless. However, the expression means that there’s a close resemblance between father and son. Same color hair, perhaps. Same contour of the face. Maybe even the same swagger. Of course, we could say just as easily that a child resembles his or her mother.

It always amuses me with a newborn how people will say, “Why he looks just like his father.” Well, if Dad is bald and wrinkled, I suppose that is true. We could say that the newborn looks like its mother. However, according to research on this subject, usually people will say of a newborn, he or she looks like his or her father. Go figure.

An objective observer might question whether a newborn resembles anybody at all. But who wants to spoil the moment? Nevertheless, it is common as children grow toward adulthood, that they do take on many characteristics of their parents. There is nothing unusual about that. People in the same family resemble each other.

Indeed, there have been studies that show that husbands and wives after many years of living together begin to resemble one another. I’ll let some of you married couples decided whether that is good news or bad news.

Of course, there are also recent studies that suggest that some people look like their pet dogs. We’ll ignore those studies for today.

The really scary thing about children is that they often not only look like us, but they act like us too.

Many years ago, a television ad campaign featured a little boy imitating his father in various everyday activities. The father sprayed the car with a water hose, then the son sprayed it with his water pistol. A voice-over then said, “Like father, like son.”

Similar scenes followed to drive home this point. Then the final scene showed the father reaching into his pocket and pulling out a pack of cigarettes, lighting one up, then laying the pack on the ground beside him. The son then picked up the pack of cigarettes as if to take one. The voice-over then asked ominously, “Like father, like son?” (3)

It is a frightening responsibility to each of us as parents to realize that our children may reflect not only our appearance but also our values, our habits, as well as our strongest and weakest points.

A minister tells of a time he went to counsel a family about their son’s drug use. The father was distraught as he described the impact of drugs upon his relationship with his son. He said, “The thing that bothers me most about his being into drugs is the fact that drugs have made him a liar.”

Moments later the phone rang and the boy’s mother went to answer it. She came back into the room with the message that the call was for the father. The father replied, “Tell him I am not at home.”

The minister commented that drugs had not made this boy a liar; his father had. (4)

“When you have seen me, you have seen my father.” Family resemblance it doesn’t always happen, but to a certain extent, children reflect their parents. Not only do children sometimes look like their parents, they also act like their parents.

Unfortunately, some children are emotionally scarred by their parents. Some of you have experienced this.

A subtle piece of Jewish humor makes a good point about child-rearing. Three Jewish mothers were bragging about their sons.

“My son is a wealthy lawyer,” said one. “For my birthday he gave me this fur coat.”

Said the second: “My son is a medical doctor and last winter he gave me a vacation in Miami Beach.”

The third thought for a moment then blurted out, “My son sees a fancy psychiatrist each week. He pays the psychiatrist $100 an hour. And guess who he spends his time talking about ME!”

She did not realize that the fact that her son was talking to a psychiatrist about her was not a compliment.

All of us reflect our upbringing. Many of us bear scars from our relations with our parents. Many of the emotional problems we are experiencing today had their genesis in the earliest days of our childhood experiences.

Perhaps our parents were overly protective. You have heard about the mother who sent a note to her son’s teacher: “Austin is very sensitive. If he needs disciplining, please do not slap him. Slap the boy next to him and this will frighten Austin into doing right.”

Some parents are overly protective. Helicopter parents they’re called nowadays, always hovering, overly involved in their children’s lives. Some of these children will have a difficult time coping when they are on their own.

Other parents hurt their young simply because they, the parents, are unable to adequately express their love. When that happens a child will often go through life looking for acceptance and approval. Even if they know deep in their hearts that their parents really do love them these children will always have a subtle feeling that they never quite measured up to their parents’ expectations.

There was a prominent psychologist in the early part of the twentieth century who influenced the child-rearing practices of some parents. Incredibly, this psychologist was strictly opposed to any displays of affection between parents and their children. He advised parents like this:

“Mothers just don’t know, when they kiss their children and pick them up and rock them, caress them and juggle them upon their knee, that they are slowly building up a human being totally unable to cope with the world it must later live in . . . There is a sensible way of treating children. Treat them as though they were young adults . . . Never hug or kiss them, never let them sit on your lap. If you must, kiss them once on the forehead when they say goodnight . . . Can’t a mother train herself to substitute a kindly word, a smile, in all of her dealings with the child, for the kiss and the hug, the pickup and the coddling? . . . If you haven’t a nurse and cannot leave the child, put it out in the backyard a large part of the day. Build a fence around the yard so that you are sure no harm can come to it. Do this from the time it is born . . . If your heart is too tender and you must watch the child, make yourself a peephole so that you can see it without being seen, or use a periscope . . . Finally, learn not to talk in endearing and coddling terms.” (5)

That sounds like a spoof of parental advice, but I understand that Dr. J. B. Watson, the well-known psychologist, actually said that! What utter and complete nonsense. But there were some parents who took Watson seriously. God help their children.

Even more common, however, are parents who are not able to express open, unconditional love because they never experienced such love themselves. If your parents were not able to express unconditional love, chances are you have difficulty expressing such love yourself.

To a great extent children do reflect the nature of their parents. Certainly all of us reflect the homes in which we were raised. And to a certain extent each of us can affirm the words of scripture: “When you have seen me, you have seen my father.” “When you have seen me, you have seen my mother or my grandmother” or whoever was most responsible for raising us.

Now here is the good news for the day. Jesus reflected his Father- God’s character and nature. The writer of the Gospel of John is saying something very important here in reporting these words of our Master: “When you have seen me, you have seen my father.” He is saying that we don’t have to wonder what God is like. All we have to do is look at Jesus.

The Internet carried a beautiful story recently by a man named Jim Newman. Newman was taking the train home from downtown Chicago. He was seated in the same car with a young lady and her mother and grandmother. The three women had apparently been downtown for a day of shopping, and perhaps sightseeing.

The grandmother was in a wheelchair, and obviously had some diminished faculties. Her hearing was not so good, and the mother (her daughter) often had to explain things to her several times before Grandma seemed to understand.

The daughter had Down syndrome. During the train ride, her mother made a game with her of finding the temperatures in different cities, as listed in the newspaper, and then figuring out which city was warmer or colder than another city.

Through it all, Mother never wavered. It had to have been a long day, and she was surely tired. It would have been easy for her to decide that Grandma didn’t really need to understand something instead of explaining it to her patiently for the fourth time. It would have been easy for her to give her daughter some mindless diversion to keep her occupied for the hour long train ride home. But she spoke with them, and laughed with them, and they talked about their day, and they explored useless weather facts from far away places long after it must have stopped being interesting.

As fate would have it, they were getting off at the same stop as Newman. They had backpacks and shopping bags, and Grandma in a wheelchair of course, so as they neared the station, Newman asked if they would like some help. The mother looked up at him and smiled, and said, “No, thank you, we’re doing fine.” (6)

They were doing fine, wouldn’t you say? A mother with diminished mental capacity a daughter with special needs and yet this Mom gave them her full attention and love. I would call that sacrificial love. I would call it very close to agape love.

That’s the kind of love I see in Jesus compassionate love, self-giving love, love with no limits. Jesus reached out to those who hurt, those who were filled with sorrow, even those who treated him with contempt. And here is that good news: God is exactly like Jesus. The God of all the universe, the God who created everything that is, was, or ever will be that God is a God of unlimited love. That is what this verse says, “When you have seen me, you have seen my father.”

Some of those who purport to be followers of Jesus have given God a bad name. They spew out hatred toward others of God’s children. Sometimes they even do it in Jesus’ name. May God have mercy on their souls. Can you even imagine Jesus hurling cruel taunts at others? No way. He even forgave the soldiers who drove nails through his hands and feet and nailed him to a tree and hurled cruel taunts at him. There was no hatred in Christ. And there is no hatred in God. John, in his Epistle, suggests that God is not capable of hatred. He writes, “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love” (1 John 4:8). God is love. That says it all. Jesus is the perfect reflection of God.

And that is the message we take to the world. Our Master said, “When you have seen me, you have seen my father.” May others be able to say about us, “When we’ve seen [John, Mary, Tyler], we see Jesus.” May they see, even in us, a family resemblance to God.


1. http://www.funnysermons.com/sermons/laughingstock/2-corinthians-13-11-13-may-15-08.html.

2. Source unknown.

3. The NIV Standard Lesson Commentary, 2009-2010 (Cincinnati: Standard Publishing, 2009), p. 187.

4. Raymond McHenry, Something to Think About ((Hendrickson Publishers, 1998).

5. J. B. Watson, Psychological Care of Infant and Child (Norton, N.Y., 1928).

6. (David C. Cook Publishing Company, 1992).

ChristianGlobe Networks, Inc., Dynamic Preaching Sermons Second Quarter 2011, by King Duncan