The way it happened in my mind is that he walked into this little restaurant in downtown Jericho, took a deep breath and hollered, "Repent!" Folks stopped eating mid-bite. It got so quiet you could hear the motor running in that tall machine over in the corner that kept slices of pie turning around behind the glass all day. Every eye in the place was on him, and that was what he was waiting for. He started talking, and shouting, and waving his arms, and every time someone would try to laugh at him and go back to their coconut cream pie, he would walk right over and slam a fist on their table, or just stand and stare at the pie eater until their appetite simply disappeared. All this without missing a beat of his sermon.
And what a sermon it was. He started out, "Some of you folks are from around here, aren't you? Born and raised right here? Well, that don't count for one blasted thing in God's book. Your ancestral tree might take you all the way back to Abraham himself, but as far as God is concerned, that won't pay for that cup of coffee you got sitting in front of you." He went on for quite some time, made his way from one table to the next, even the big round one in the back where the Pharisees sat at their weekly noon-time alliance meeting. People couldn't help but smile when he walked around that big round table and called them all a bunch of hissing old women who couldn't spell salvation if they had a dictionary in their hands.
Then he was done. He walked out of the door just as he had come in. Except on the way out he was not alone. Several from the restaurant walked out with him, and followed him straight to the river. From there on it was history. More and more people came, and more and more went back home to tell their friends they had better go, too. By the time they got there, the crowds were huge.
At one point in his baptizing, John looked up to see who was next in line, and when he did he froze in his tracks. There standing before him was Jesus. He recognized him immediately. This is where the story gets a bit hard for me to follow. Jesus steps up to be baptized like everyone else, but John shakes his head and says, "How can I baptize you? You ought to be baptizing me." They debate that fact for a bit and John finally gives in and baptizes him. Then, as Jesus gets out of the water, the sky opens up just like it had French doors, and this dove flies down and lands on him. Then, to confuse me even more, a voice comes out of that same door and says, "This is my Son, who I love; with him I am well pleased." And the story is over.