Someone has made a collection of the thoughts of children about romance. They call it: "Kids say the darndest things . . . about love":
What do most people do on a date? "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for the second date." (Mike, age 10)
When is it okay to kiss someone? "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, ˜cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." (Jim, age 10) Kelly, age 9, has her own ideas on this subject. She says, "Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours."
The great debate: is it better to be single or married? "It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them!" (Lynette, age 9)
Concerning why lovers often hold hands: "They want to make sure their rings don't fall off because they paid good money for them." (Dave, age 8) (1)
It is impossible to overemphasize the importance of love in the teachings of Jesus. Today, on this Mother's Day 1998, we look for a few moments at one of Jesus' most important teachings about love. Jesus said, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." Why did Jesus command us to love one another?
DOESN'T IT MEAN, FIRST OF ALL, THAT LOVE REQUIRES WORK? A myth in our culture is that love comes naturally. It's easy. That's absurd! We have to continually work at relationships.
A few years ago, the Harry S. Truman Library in Independence, MO made public 1,300 recently discovered letters that the late President wrote to his wife, Bess, over the course of a halfcentury. Mr. Truman had a lifelong rule of writing to his wife every day they were apart. He followed this rule whenever he was away on official business or whenever Bess left Washington to return to Independence. Scholars are examining the letters for any new light they may throw on political and diplomatic history. (2) Imagine that! Every day he was away, the President of the United States took time out from his dealings with the world's most powerful leaders to sit down and write a letter to his wife.
Love requires work. Love has to be nurtured. Little babies, the most lovable creatures in this world, have to be taught to love. They have to be taught to share. They have to learn that they have certain responsibilities to others. Love is something at which you work. In today's family, particularly, love requires special attention.
There is a silly story about a carnival director who was interviewing a young man looking for his first job as a magician. "What's your best trick?" the director asked. "Sawing a woman in half," answered the magician, "that's my best." "Isn't that a difficult trick?" asked the director. "Not really," said the magician. "I've been able to do that one since I was a child. I always used to practice on my sisters." "And do you come from a large family?" asked the director. "Well," said the magician, "I have eight halfsisters."
With more and more second marriagesand more and more halfbrothers and halfsistersmany families are having to work especially hard at love. That is the first lesson we learn from Jesus' command that we are to love one another: Love requires work.
THE SECOND IS THAT LOVE IS THE DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTIC OF A CHRISTIAN. "By this," said Jesus, "all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." Sometimes we get this fouled up. We think something else best characterizes Christians. For example, right living or church attendance or perhaps tithing. But Jesus says they will know you are my disciples by your love. That's itlove! Now it is important to live right. It is important to attend church and to give your tithe, but the distinguishing characteristic of a Christian is love!
In 1991, a delegation of Christian leaders from the U.S. traveled to Moscow to share ideas with government, business, and media leaders in Russia. The fall of communism had left a leadership vacuum, and the people were desperate for guidance and inspiration from the outside world. They especially wanted to hear about God, morality, faith. Everywhere the delegation went, they were greeted with respect and kindness. One of the delegation's meetings was with the Academy of Social Sciences, an institution steeped in MarxistLeninist ideology. Surely here they would meet with some opposition, some clash of ideas. The discussion started off amicably, however. The Russian professors were interested in how to create a moral and just society. They wanted to talk about the failures of society and their hopes and fears for the future. After a few minutes of this, however, a professor stood up and began to speak. Unlike his colleagues, he was angry. He rejected the idea of God, and argued that God was not necessary for morality to exist. This man, a devoted communist, was seeing all his beliefs being questioned. The foundation of his society was crumbling, and he was making a desperate effort to convince people to return to the basics of communism. He shouted at the delegates, trying to deny that their ideas would work in Russian society.
When the professor finally stopped talking, the room filled with an embarrassed silence. Who would answer the man? Would this whole discussion degenerate into a shouting match? How could the Christian delegation maintain its witness for Christ in the face of this man's anger? Out of the Christian delegation, a man named Kent Hill stood up. Kent is a professor in Russian studies and president of the Institute on Religion and Democracy in Washington. Kent spoke gently, telling the professor that he respected his right to his beliefs. Kent spoke of tolerance for all ideas, religious and atheistic. He affirmed that freedom of religion also included the freedom not to believe. And then, in fluent Russian, Kent explained to his audience why he was a Christian. He told them he had been greatly influenced by the Russian novelist Dostoevsky, and his book THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV. The novel is about two brothers, Ivan, an agnostic, and Alyosha, a believer. When Kent first began reading he had agreed with Ivan and his arguments against God. But he could not help but be attracted by the character of Alyosha. Alyosha had a love in his heart that could not be argued away. And in the end, that love overcame all of Ivan's arguments in Kent's mind. (3)
Kent Hill's loving response to the Russian professor ended the tension in the room and restored positive communication. Don't you wish that all Christians could handle their emotions like Kent Hill? Love is the distinguishing characteristic of Christians.
And that brings us to the final thing to be said: LOVE IS CHRIST'S MOST POWERFUL WEAPON IN THE BATTLE WITH THE FORCES OF DARKNESS, DEATH AND DESPAIR. "As I have loved you," said Jesus, "so you must love one another." Love is what Jesus was all about. Love was how Jesus would save the world. Love is the path Christ took to win back persons like you and me. Love is the key to unlocking the door of the coldest heart.
When Bill Fero's aunt approached him in 1977 about housing a family of Vietnamese refugees, she thought she'd arranged the perfect situation. Bill was a bachelor who lived alone in a spacious farmhouse, so he had plenty of room. He also had firsthand knowledge of Vietnam, as a veteran of the Vietnam War. And Bill's Aunt Rose thought he might enjoy having some help around the farm. For, you see, Bill was disabled, having lost both legs to a booby trap mine in Vietnam. Aunt Rose couldn't have known what emotions her request would conjure up. The trauma of the war, combined with Bill's horrible injury, had left him bitter and angry. Over the years, he had developed a deep hatred for Vietnam and its people. So Bill's first instinct was to reject Aunt Rose's request. But then a deliciously evil thought seized him: he could make the Vietnamese family suffer, just as he had suffered. He agreed to Aunt Rose's request, and a week later the San Phi family, consisting of father, mother, and four children, moved in. Bill's plan went into action the first morning. He began ordering the family around, making them do all the most grueling farm work. A kind word never crossed his lips, only insults and demands. He was forcing the San Phi family into the role of personal servants. Yet no matter how demanding or abusive Bill insisted on being, the San Phi family treated him with kindness and respect. They did every menial task with cheerfulness and efficiency. Often, they would do even more work than Bill had assigned to them. In a matter of months, the San Phi family had transformed Bill Fero's farm into the cleanest, best organized farm in the area. Then the family got an opportunity to join other relatives who had settled in California. When the San Phi family left, Bill set his sights on the next Vietnamese family to stay with him. Surely his constant, unreasonable demands and humiliating treatment would make them suffer. But this family, too, worked diligently and cheerfully, repaying Bill's hatred with kindness. Soon, they had to move on, too, and then Bill took in the Chau family. One evening, Mr. Chau mentioned to Bill that the other refugee families had told them about him. Bill was sure they had said horrible things, but Mr. Chau insisted that they had all liked him. They had been concerned, though, with Bill's anger. As Mr. Chau said, "They don't know why you don't enjoy life." Bill didn't know how to answer.
But the final incident that changed Bill's attitude occurred in March of 1979. He had long ignored his birthday, but that year he couldn't ignore the stack of cards and gifts that arrived from the Vietnamese families that had passed through his home. As Bill read the homemade cards filled with words of love and gratitude, he began to cry. The anger and hatred he had carried so long slowly melted away. Since that day in 1979, Bill's farmhouse has been a temporary home for over forty Vietnamese men, women, and children. Through them, Bill learned about the extreme poverty and lack of medical care available in Vietnam. He has made it his personal mission to visit medicalsupply companies and collect donations of medicine and supplies, which he then ships to Vietnam. He has even flown back to Vietnam a few times to distribute the supplies personally. Bill Fero's hatred for the Vietnamese has been replaced by a commitment and concern. The love of a few refugee families transformed him from a bitter man with no hope to a loving man with an energizing purpose. (4)
Love can do that. Love can unlock the coldest heart. I have to confess to you that I have known some Christians who resemble Bill Fero more in his bitter state than in his loving state. And the sad thing is they see no dissonance in their witness as Christians. How could theyor wehave missed the Gospel so badly? Jesus commands us to love one another. Love is the distinguishing characteristic of a Christian. Love is Christ's most powerful weapon in the ongoing battle against darkness, death and despair. My friends, as the bumper sticker says, "Commit an unnatural act: Go out and love somebody."
1. Found on the Internet. Source unknown.
2. BITS & PIECES, October 15, 1992, Page 1516.
3. Philip Yancey, FINDING GOD IN UNEXPECTED PLACES (Nashville: Moorings, 1995), p.122-126.
4. Bill Fero, "The Refugee Guests," GUIDEPOSTS, May 1997, p. 2023.