How to Train Your Child to be a Delinquent

1. When your kid is still an infant, give him everything he wants. This way he'll think the world owes him a living when he grows up.
2. When he picks up swearing and off-color jokes, laugh at him, encourage him. As he grows up, he will pick up "cuter" phrases that will floor you.
3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is twenty-one and let him decide for himself.
4. Avoid using the word "wrong." It will give your child a guilt complex. You can condition …