John 14:15-31 · Jesus Promises the Holy Spirit
Building A Home
John 14:15-31
Sermon
by King Duncan
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An interesting idea appeared recently in THE NEW YORK TIMES magazine. It is a video tape produced by Quality Video of Minneapolis titled, "Video Baby." It is designed for consumers who are devoted to family values but can't seem to find the time to start a family. This 30-minute tape shows two infants doing what babies tend to do, like crawl around the house, play with a rattle, take a bubble bath and turn lunch into a complete mess. There's no narrator (and no cleanup), so once the tape is in the VCR there's nothing to come between the viewer and the baby but the off button. Of course, some things are left out, like crying and spitting up, not to mention the challenge of a full diaper. As the package says, "Enjoy bath time without being splashed, mealtime without wearing the food." Sounds good. All the joys of parenthood and none of the inconveniences. Just set the VCR. Imagine the possibilities for "Video Teen-Ager." (1)

This is Mother's Day. What a challenging time to be a mother. One mom, named Linda Rossetti, says she was pleased that the brightly striped sweater she had received as a gift seemed to have a slimming effect on her figure. "That's a pretty sweater, Mommy," her six-year-old son told her. "You look like "˜Wheel of Fortune.'"

"Thank you, sweetheart," Linda replied, "but I think you mean that I look like Vanna White."

"No, Mom," he said. "I mean you look like the wheel." (2)

It's challenging to be a Mom, but what a privilege and what a responsibility.

TV anchorman Dan Rather has traveled throughout the world to report on most of the major events of our time. He has been witness to wars, natural disasters, and man's inhumanity to man. In his book, THE CAMERA NEVER BLINKS TWICE, Rather tells of a moment from the Vietnam War that still haunts him. The year was 1965, and he was touring a hospital ship near South Vietnam. His guide took him below-deck to a very large room filled with soldiers recovering from amputations. He describes the horror he felt as he observed row upon row of young men lying there in bandages. All were horribly wounded and in tremendous pain. Most men moaned, a few cried out. And the one name the men cried out constantly was, "Mother." When their suffering was so great as to be unbearable, they didn't call for a doctor or a nurse. They called for their mothers. Rather comments that in our very worst moments, when we are most desperate for comfort, we turn to the first love we ever knew, that of our mothers. (3)

There is no relationship on earth more intimate than the relationship of a mother and her child--unless it is the relationship between a believer and God. Jesus says, "Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him" (14:21). And again in John 14 we read, "Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you" (19-21). In these verses Christ is saying to us that this world was designed for love, for family, for relationships, for intimacy.

It is good that we should have this day to celebrate the home and all it means to us. AFTER ALL, IT IS IN THE HOME THAT WE LEARN WHO WE ARE. It is in the home that our identity is established.

The parents of Roland Hayes, the famous singer, had been slaves. Roland's father died when he was just a boy, and the child grew up in poverty, but with the influence of a good Christian mother. Doors began to open to Roland because of his musical talent. When invited to sing for the British monarch, he sent a cable to his mother, which bore a note of pride. She responded with just four words: "Remember who you are." (4)

I suspect that some of us received that message from our mothers somewhere along life's journey: "Remember who you are." It is in the home we learn who we are. Are we persons of worth, persons of value? Are we bright, capable, persons of promise?

There was an article in EBONY magazine this time last year that featured a story about basketball star Karl Malone of the Utah Jazz. Karl's father left his wife and eight children when Karl was still very little. Shirley Malone raised the children by herself. She worked two jobs, and scrimped and saved to make ends meet. A measure of her devotion shows in Karl's great success. There was no money in the Malone family for basketball equipment, and there was no basketball court near where the Malone's lived. So when little Karl became fascinated by the game, Shirley Malone became a human basketball hoop, holding up her arms so Karl could shoot the ball through them over and over. (5) Karl Malone has been one of the NBA's most worthy role models. He learned from his mother not only how to shoot a basketball. He learned that his life was important. That's a lesson a child can learn even if there is no money in the house.

In the home we learn who we are. WE ALSO LEARN WHAT IS EXPECTED OF US. Family values, it is sometimes called. And it is an important issue.

For 20 years Dennis Prager has been asking high school seniors a fascinating question, "Would you save your dog or a stranger first if both were drowning?" Here is what he found: One-third always vote for the dog, one-third always vote for the stranger, and one-third always find the question too difficult. But Prager's second question is even more interesting. Prager asks the students who voted to save the person, "Are the students who voted to save the dog wrong?" Not one student, says Prager, has ever said that the others are wrong. Their argument is always the same: "Listen, I personally feel that I should save the person, but they feel they should save their dog."

Prager contends, after much research, that the feeling of love has supplanted God or religious principle as the moral guide for young people. What is right has been redefined in terms of what an individual feels. (6)

Those of us who are pet lovers might be sympathetic to these young people's ethical dilemma. The point that Prager is making, though, is that many people today have no fixed point of reference for their values except what they feel--and feelings can be fickle and unreliable, even a feeling as noble as that of love.

Humor writer Dave Barry once wrote a piece that exposes in a humorous way the unreliable side of love. "Love can be wonderful," he writes, "but it also can be very destructive. It can cause people to lie, to cheat, to commit murder, and--worst of all--to write lyrics like these: "˜Why do birds suddenly appear, Every time you are near?'" These lyrics are, of course, from the huge hit by the Carpenters, "(They Long to Be) Close to You." "You frankly have to ask yourself," says Barry, "'Do I really want to be near somebody who causes birds to appear suddenly? Didn't Alfred Hitchcock do a horror movie about this?'" (7) Barry is writing with his tongue planted firmly in his cheek, but it is true that we need to have a more reliable gauge for our actions than our emotions. We need principles that grow out of our faith in God and our understanding of God's plan for life. We learn these principles and values in the home.

And many of you are trying. I know that. LADIES' HOME JOURNAL did a survey of working moms. And they found that many of them are still trying to keep traditional parenting habits. For example:

DINNERTIME IS FAMILY TIME. Almost 30 percent say they eat dinner as a family every night; 44 percent say most nights.

IN GOD THEY TRUST. Fifty percent send their thirteen- to seventeen-year-olds to religious services, Sunday school or both. Of course, it is even better if parents TAKE their children to church rather than just send them. (8)

The point is that the inculcation of values is the second of three critical tasks of the home. The first is the formation of identity; the second is the formation of character.

THE THIRD IS TO CREATE A PLACE OF SECURITY IN THIS UNCERTAIN WORLD--TO WHICH OUR YOUNG CAN ALWAYS RETURN.

In his life and in his teachings Jesus elevated the role of relationships high above every other human responsibility. We were created out of love, and we were created for love. God's very nature is love. The ties that bind us together as individual families and as the family of Christ are sacred ties that are not to be severed except in the most extraordinary of circumstances. Our children may make all kinds of grievous mistakes in life, but they need to know that there is one place where they can always receive forgiveness, nurture and love. That is at home. Part of our responsibility is to create a secure place to which they can return.

Patsy Clairmont's heart sank when she saw that she had been assigned a middle seat on her airplane flight. She hated the discomfort and inconvenience of squeezing into a middle seat between two people who would most likely hog the arm rests. But nothing good can come from a bad attitude, so she turned her attention to a polite young man on one side of her. His name was Michael.

Patsy guessed correctly from Michael's impeccable manners that he was a member of the armed forces. Turns out, he was just returning from a year and a half in Desert Storm. Michael was nervous about returning home, afraid that his family would be expecting a hero. He was afraid of crying in front of everyone. He had been away, in difficult situations, in the company of rough and tough men. He didn't know how much he had changed, or how much his family had changed. He was looking forward to two things when he got off the plane: telling his mother how much her letters had meant to him, and hearing his little nephews call him Uncle Michael.

Patsy, a mother herself, was able to offer a sympathetic ear. She told him about her son's return from fighting in Guam. When he got off the plane, he pulled Patsy into a long and heartfelt hug. It had meant the world to her.

Before the plane landed, Patsy informed a flight attendant about Michael's time in Desert Storm. The attendant informed the pilot, who announced over the intercom: "It has come to my attention that we have a VIP on board. He is a returning GI from Desert Storm and is in seat 12F. As a representative of this airline and a citizen of the United States of America, I salute you, Michael, and thank you for a job well done." The other passengers broke out into enthusiastic applause.

After the plane landed and the passengers filed off, Patsy lingered around the waiting area, hoping to see Michael reunited with his family. She spotted them immediately. It wasn't hard to tell who Michael's mother was. As soon as she spotted her son through the crowd she began to cry, and then to sob, til her tears spilled onto the floor. Michael went to the sobbing woman and wrapped his arms around her for a very long hug. After general hugs all around, Michael and his family headed down to the baggage claims area to wait on his luggage. A little boy scampered over to Michael and tugged on his slacks. Michael lifted him up in his arms. Someone asked the tyke, "Honey, who's got you?" And the child answered, "Uncle Michael." (9)

Michael was very fortunate he had such a home to come back to. Everyone needs that. Everyone. That is why Jesus told a parable about a young man who went off to a far country and came back home defeated and in disgrace. But his father welcomed him with open arms. Everyone needs a home like that. Everyone needs a home where they learn a healthy sense of their own identity. Everyone needs a home where they are taught principles and values that will last them a lifetime. Everyone needs to know that they can always go back home. Mushy sentimentality? No, authentic Christian faith. For that is the love God has for us.


1. "Virtual Baby," June 4, 1995, p. 18.

2. READER'S DIGEST.

3. Dan Rather with Micky Herskowitz, THE CAMERA NEVER BLINKS TWICE (New York: William Morrow, 1994).

4. George E. Knowles, A WORLD TO LOVE (Washington, D.C.: Review and Herald Publishing Association, 1990), p. 49.

5. "In Praise of Black Mothers," by Laura B. Randolph, May 1998.

6. Dennis Prager in GOOD NEWS, July/Aug, 1993, quoted in CHRISTIANITY TODAY, Oct 25, 1993, p. 73.

7. Dave Barry, Book of Bad Songs.

8. "The Mommy Report," Sept. 1996, p. 62.

9. Kathy Collard Miller and D. Larry Miller, GOD'S VITAMIN "C" FOR THE SPIRIT (Lancaster, Pennsylvania: Starburst Publishers, 1996), pp. 108-111.

Dynamic Preaching, Collected Sermons, by King Duncan