The following is a long running series of jokes that can be put together or separated: 1. One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started..... 2. My wife and I were sitting at a table at her school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table ...
... though they did not go and find him, the risen Christ found them. That Jesus repeats this declaration of “Peace” again in v.26 re‑emphasizes its significance, suggesting it is more than a greeting. It is, in fact and in face, Jesus’ promised gift to his followers sited in 14:27 and 16:33. Despite his mysterious migration through locked doors, Jesus’ first action is to demonstrate his corporeality. He shows the physical marks of his execution, the punctures in his hands (or wrists) and his side ...
... expression, Nora halted. "Please, wait a minute," she said. Stopping by a table, Nora picked up a red and black crocheted hat. "This hat will go perfectly with your new coat." "But I ain't got no more money," she answered, with downcast eyes. "Consider it an early Christmas gift," Nora beamed and handed her the hat. "In fact, I think this scarf goes with the hat, too. Take them both." The elderly woman smiled. "The hat will do me well. My momma always told me that you lose a lot of heat up there if the head ...
... to lead a submitted life. Placing your life next to Christ's cannot help but tear down that pride. When our sin is revealed, we call out to God in shame. O. Henry, not the candy bar, but O. Henry, one of the greatest writers of his day, used his gift to reveal the condition of the human heart. In one of his short writings, he holds up a magnifying glass to examine a boy growing up in a small village. In school he formed a strong friendship with a girl he sat next to. His admiration for her ...
... us to forgive others. Are you able to relate to this example? Now let me appeal to the animal lover in you. There are cats, there are birds. There are hamsters, there are goldfish. But I'd like to focus on dogs. Boris was a gift, not just a gift from friends, but truly a gift of love. He was a combination of cocker spaniel and poodle. For over twelve years he'd brought unconditional love to his owners. "Bobo dog, we were gone, but now we're back" became the litany between owners and dog. With tail a ...
... of Jubilee. "Since there will never cease to be some in need on the earth, I therefore command you, ‘Open your hand to the poor and needy neighbor in your land.' " This verse was quoted by Jesus when the woman washed his feet and some criticized her for wasting the gift. Jesus said, in reply, that the poor would always be with us and some have taken that to mean we'll always have the poor so there's nothing you can do about it. You can see however that Jesus was quoting the law to say that since we will ...
... set of jumper cables. We have connection. Author Robert Fulghum wrote, "Jumper cables? You want jumper cables? Sure I got jumper cables. I can hook you up to Grand Coulee Dam, buddy, or wire you into the Almighty God or whatever powers there be."3 God's gift to us, like jumper cables, is access to power, power from on high, power excited! In the third place, pray, "Come, Holy Spirit, come" and expect passion ignited! What is it that you love to be and do? What is it in your life that energizes and fulfills ...
... the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ are the laborers. So why "so few"? Because in part most of the laity have not been instructed in how God has made them, gifted them, and empowered them. The role of church leadership is to help the laity identify their gifts and integrate them into ministries that match their gifts. When one lives according to one's spiritual giftedness, one no longer works in one's own strength, but the Holy Spirit, is at work within. Our Lord envisioned that as the ...
... us to thy perfect light.[1] The annual observance of the birth of our Savior is almost over - Epiphany, recalling the visit of the wise men, is commemorated on January 6 and ends the liturgical celebration following the "Twelve Days of Christmas." No gifts of turtle doves, French hens, or partridges in pear trees; rather the more traditional gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Lots of legends have grown up around this story of the three kings, one of which is that they were "three kings." The gospel account ...
... in this place. Doxology "Now Thank We All Our God" Now thank we all our God with hearts and hands and voices, Who wondrous things hath done in whom this world rejoices; Who from our mothers’ arms hath blessed us on our way With countless gifts of love and still is ours today. Prayer Of Thanksgiving This is your world, Holy One. Thank you for loving and sustaining it. Thank you, too, for the opportunity to be co-creators with you. Amen. Intercessory Prayers Eternal God — thank you for your undeniable ...
... the back seat instead of the driver’s seat (or even to give up “shotgun”), in order to foster peace within the faith community. Offering “mercy” (see James 2:8 ff.) and goodness, impartiality and sincerity — all informed by divinely–gifted wisdom, rounds out James’ definition of one who lives according to that true wisdom. Instead of tumult and discord, disorder and wickedness, the final harvest of these “fruits” will be peace and righteousness, and a community faith that is pleasing to ...
... the back seat instead of the driver’s seat (or even to give up “shotgun”), in order to foster peace within the faith community. Offering “mercy” (see James 2:8 ff.) and goodness, impartiality and sincerity — all informed by divinely–gifted wisdom, rounds out James’ definition of one who lives according to that true wisdom. Instead of tumult and discord, disorder and wickedness, the final harvest of these “fruits” will be peace and righteousness, and a community faith that is pleasing to ...
A three-year-old boy opened a birthday gift from his grandmother. It was a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the sink to fill it. His father was ... some reason, he and Coach Kafka . . . not only reached out to me at my biggest moment of need, they did it by zeroing right in on where my life‑gift sat waiting to be discovered. I’m convinced the gift would have sat that way, too at least for a very long time had either one turned away from the urge to help me.” (4) You never know where ...
... turn the world right side up. Jesus came to give dignity to those who society does not value. Jesus came to give hope to the hopeless, peace to those who hearts are in turmoil, love to those who are broken. Jesus came to give you the greatest gift of all. * Note: this joke works well if you choose a real couple in your church who are good sports, and a real nearby city. 1. Bruce Larson, The Communicators Commentary, Vol. 3, Luke (Waco: Word Books, 1983), p. 39. 2. “Free For Christmas,” by Lerone Bennett ...
... to authoritatively “summon” (“proskaleesthai”) his disciples and then call special attention to what he is about to say with his pronouncement “Truly [or ‘Amen’] I say to you [‘Pay Attention’].” Jesus goes far beyond simply praising the widow for her gift. He declares that she “has put in more than all those who are contributing to the treasury.” (v.43) The wealth and abundance of those who contribute “large sums” made their offerings of little or no consequence to their personal ...
... to authoritatively “summon” (“proskaleesthai”) his disciples and then call special attention to what he is about to say with his pronouncement “Truly [or ‘Amen’] I say to you [‘Pay Attention’].” Jesus goes far beyond simply praising the widow for her gift. He declares that she “has put in more than all those who are contributing to the treasury.” (v.43) The wealth and abundance of those who contribute “large sums” made their offerings of little or no consequence to their personal ...
... gospel to sit at the low end of the table and wait to be called up higher (Luke 14:10) is inconsistent with today’s message for success. We are always told to put our best foot forward. While we must maximize our potential and use God’s gifts wisely to demonstrate to others our talent and potential, it should never be done at the expense of others. When applying for a job or entrance to college or other educational endeavors, our resume must be superior and stand out from others. Still, if we take the ...
... gospel to sit at the low end of the table and wait to be called up higher (Luke 14:10) is inconsistent with today's message for success. We are always told to put our best foot forward. While we must maximize our potential and use God's gifts wisely to demonstrate to others our talent and potential, it should never be done at the expense of others. When applying for a job or entrance to college or other educational endeavors, our resume must be superior and stand out from others. Still, if we take the time ...
... to the chemical level of our bodies. Sex sustains love. Throughout much of American society we have taken God's good gift of sex and distorted it, corrupted it. We have divorced sex from love, we have cheapened it. We have turned sex ... damage done to us a long time ago. Sometimes we need help understanding our tempers. Scheduling time with a counselor can be the greatest gift some people can give to their families. Many of the things that can hurt us — our lust, anger, self-destructive ways — can be hard ...
... present nor things to come will separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus. In that promise, we find that rare gift of contentment, peace, and patience. Whenever I read Paul's prison letter, I marvel at the peace and patience in his tone. And ... a peace that passes all human understanding in these words, even while Paul was living in chains. It flows from a rare gift of peace and contentment. In the 1730s and 1740s, Jonathan Edwards nearly single-handedly led the spiritual awakening in America. He is ...
... case we missed the fact that God doesn't work according to the world's criteria and expectations, Elisha didn't even bother to go out to greet his important guest. He sent a messenger out on his behalf. This great warrior who had come with his abundant gifts didn't even merit a personal greeting. Not only did the prophet not recognize Naaman's importance, but the message itself seemed a slap at his ego as well. "Go and wash in the Jordan seven times." An insignificant messenger told him to wash in a two-bit ...
... who searched for years for the Christ child, but was never able to catch up with the others. This wise man had three jewels, a gift of great wealth which he intended to give to the newborn king. But in his journey to find the newborn king he came across people ... only to realize at the end of his life that he had both found him and worshipped him each time he gave himself and his gift to one who was in need. Through his compassion this fourth wise man pushed back some of the world’s darkness. And that is our ...
... shaped by culture than the actual scriptures themselves. In our mind’s eye we see Mary and Joseph not the newborn baby Jesus in the manger. Gathered around are the curious shepherds and their sheep, oxen and donkey, the three “kings” bearing their gifts, and an angel choir singing overhead. Such a scene is only possible, however, if the birth narratives of Matthew and Luke are whirled together in a blender along with some artificial sweeteners. Matthew’s gospel steeps the events of Jesus’ birth in ...
... shaped by culture than the actual scriptures themselves. In our mind’s eye we see Mary and Joseph not the newborn baby Jesus in the manger. Gathered around are the curious shepherds and their sheep, oxen and donkey, the three “kings” bearing their gifts, and an angel choir singing overhead. Such a scene is only possible, however, if the birth narratives of Matthew and Luke are whirled together in a blender along with some artificial sweeteners. Matthew’s gospel steeps the events of Jesus’ birth in ...
... a fine speaker, or teacher or even a fine preacher. However, your fine words are as futile as the act of striking a gong or a cymbal to awaken a pagan idol if you are not committed to a life of love. St. Paul continues, “If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing . . .” Friends, that’s radical. That’s extreme. Paul is saying that love is even more important than faith. “If I have ...