2 Samuel 18:1-18 · Absalom’s Death
When Life Seems Out Of Control
2 Samuel 18:1-18
Sermon
by Timothy J. Smith
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During the week he was always dressed in a dark suit, a white shirt, and an expensive tie. On Saturday mornings he wore blue jeans and a flannel shirt. He was a vice president of a large corporation. He was a very successful corporate executive, but on Saturdays he was just another guy. At least that's what his neighbors thought.

As he pushed his two-year-old lawn mower out into the sun one Saturday morning, he cheerfully greeted his neighbor as she was pulling out of her driveway next door. Then he bent over to pull the starter cord. Nothing happened. He pulled it again, but nothing happened. He pulled it a third time and the mower coughed and sputtered and acted like it wanted to start, but it did not. He adjusted the choke and gave it another short, snappy pull. Again nothing happened. He pulled the starter cord another four or five times, swearing loudly with each pull of the cord. The lawn mower would not start.

Fifteen minutes later the struggle continued until, as his spouse reported, he was screaming, swearing, and carrying on like a raving maniac. Finally, he stomped into the garage, grabbed a short-handled two-pound sledgehammer, and proceeded to smash the mower into little pieces. By the time the fury subsided that corporate executive was a beaten, dejected, and broken man. The driveway was strewn with jagged pieces of the lawn mower's engine and frame. Even the wheels had been beaten and smashed. The executive was found sitting on the patio, his head in his hands, sobbing uncontrollably.

Unfortunately that is an all too common experience. We are going along thinking everything is all right, without a care in the world, when suddenly, quite unexpectedly, something does not go our way and we find ourselves out of control. At those times when we are out of control we can no longer think in rational ways. So we smash a perfectly good lawn mower, we break the storm window because it doesn't go in easily, we turn over the table because we can't seem to get it level, we swear at the computer for losing a program we forgot to back-up, or we kick the dog just because we had a bad day. The list goes on and on. Something happens and we lose control, momentarily lashing out at whatever or whomever happens to be around us. On the outside everything appeared to be going all right, but deep on the inside there is an undeniable turmoil.

That's what David must have been experiencing. By outward appearances everything seemed fine, but on the inside his life was out of control. During the first years of David's reign everything had gone so well; it seemed that everything David touched turned to gold. He racked up victory after victory against a whole host of opponents. Then David let his popularity and power go to his head; he sinned and to make matters worse he tried to cover it up with murder. A prophet came early one morning to speak with David. Nathan predicted that because of his sinful act everything would soon be out of control. Sure enough, before too long David realized just how true Nathan's words would become.

David's family was in total disarray. One of David's sons brutally attacked one of his daughters. David was saddened by the incident but did nothing. Meanwhile another son, Absalom, promised revenge. Sure enough, two years later Absalom killed his half-brother who had attacked his sister. Killing his brother put Absalom next in line for his father's throne. Absalom fled his father and Jerusalem, fearful for his very life.

Three years later a wise woman paid a visit to David. This wise woman was able to see something David could not see. Oftentimes when our lives are out of control we need someone else to point out what we ourselves cannot see. We are too close to examine our lives objectively. Like Nathan, this wise woman told David a parable. Again David was in the center of the parable and again David did not realize it. She asked David to forgive his son, Absalom, and allow him to return home to Jerusalem. David agreed and Absalom returned to Jerusalem. Unfortunately, father and son were not able to completely put their differences behind them. Absalom lived in Jerusalem for two years without ever visiting his father, the king. The longer they were apart the harder it became for them ever to reconcile.

Absalom had a mean streak in him. Besides being self-centered, Absalom also had a rebellious temperament and was determined to undermine his father in every way he could. Absalom undercut his father's authority at every opportunity. Like modern day politicians, Absalom stationed himself in a heavily traveled area to speak with passersby, appealing to their nostalgia, promising simpler times which, of course, no longer existed. Absalom soon won a following and became quite popular in his own right, which did not sit well with his father. Absalom was the handsome prince whom the people adored. We find this description, "Now in all Israel there was no one to be praised so much for his beauty as Absalom; from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him."

Once in Hebron Absalom proclaimed himself king, forcing his father David along with his military advisors to flee Jerusalem for their own safety. A civil war broke out between the two sides. Everything seemed out of control. It was a deadly conflict between the fractured sides. David, who earlier was reluctant to go to battle, was eager to lead his troops, but his trusted advisor, Joab, urged him to remain safe. They could not afford to lose their king in battle, Joab explained, because then Absalom would be king. David listened to his advisors and was willing to remain behind. David stood silently by the gate as his troops marched to battle.

Before the battle, David made a personal request to Joab: "Deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom." It was not as king that David spoke these words, but rather as a father who, despite their difference, still did not want to see any harm come to his son. Notice that David said "for my sake," not for Absalom's sake but rather for his own well being. David and his family had been through enough. The very thought of losing another child would be devastating. David spoke loudly enough for others to hear his command. Unlike his father David, Absalom took an active part in the battle. While Absalom was riding somehow his long, beautiful hair was caught in a low branch while the mule he was riding continued on. In spite of squirming around he could not free himself. "His head caught fast in the oak, and he was left hanging between heaven and earth." Before too long some of Joab's men found Absalom. It was a strange accident, it was not as though they captured Absalom or he fell into their trap. It was just an accident that he got his head caught. It was just good fortune that they happened upon Absalom. They were unsure what to do since they had heard the king's command, so they waited for Joab. As the wise military advisor to the king, Joab would know what to do. Now was their chance to rid the kingdom forever of its rebellious, traitorous prince. The only thing was David warned Joab to "deal gently" with his son. Joab, acting out of complete loyalty for David and the kingdom, gave the order for Absalom to be killed. Joab felt he was acting in the best interest of the kingdom. He did what he had always done, acted in the way he thought would be best. Even if Absalom lost the battle but managed to escape unharmed, David's throne would never be safe. Joab knew there was no other way. There was not room for two kings in Israel. Joab watched as Absalom was killed.

The battle itself was horrible, with much bloodshed and death on both sides. Twenty thousand solders died in battle that one day. There seemed no other way to resolve this conflict; it was a battle to the finish, notwithstanding David's words to deal gently with his son. With Absalom dead, the horn blew, and the battle was over. The fighting stopped as Absalom's remaining soldiers escaped.

After experiencing pain in our lives, we are able to show a sensitivity to others going through similar pain in ways no one else can. With this heightened sensitivity we can help others avoid the pitfalls that we have experienced. I was deeply moved by Marie's story. Her only son died at seventeen of a drug overdose. Marie admits that she knew her son had a problem but really did not think he would harm himself. He is just a kid experimenting, she told herself over and over. With her son dead, this young mother was so wrapped in grief that she was unable to function for several weeks. One day, an older woman from her church came to her home and advised her to give up her constant grieving. "Give your sorrow to the Lord," she pleaded, "and he will give back one hundred-fold what you have lost." The woman prayed with Marie before leaving. She promised that she would continue praying and that she would be back to see her again.

Supported by this promise, Marie got up and began to look for ways to prevent the kind of tragedy that had happened to her son. Marie began working in a halfway house for young addicts. The young people responded to her in ways she never thought possible, due to her heightened awareness. On her bulletin board she has close to a hundred snapshots of young men and women who call her "Mom." The pain of losing her son is still there, but her life is filled with purpose as she continues helping young people.

Those who have experienced pain in their lives are able to show a greater sensitivity to others, helping them through some rough times. No one can know the pain of losing a son or daughter like someone who has experienced it. It is a parent's worst nightmare to be told a child has died. David was no different than any other parent when told such devastating news. We see the human side of David as he waited anxiously for word from the battle. The hours seemed to drag on endlessly for him. He wanted resolution to the problem while at the same time he hoped that his son's life would be spared. As he watched, he saw a messenger approaching. "If he is alone, there are tidings in his mouth," David thought to himself as he watched the messenger approach. The first messenger was the son of one of his advisors, who told the king the news from the front. "Blessed be the Lord your God, who has delivered up the men who raised their hand against my lord the king." It was a military victory, the rebellion was once and infinitely suppressed. David would return to power. David would be the one rightful king. That was great news, but David wanted to know if his son was well. The first messenger told him he did not know; he was fearful of what the king would do if he told him his son was dead.

The second messenger arrived. "Good tidings for my lord the king!" he told David. "For the Lord has vindicated you this day, delivering you from the power of all who rose up against you." David had heard that before. "Is it well with the young man Absalom?" he asked the messenger. There must have been some reluctance as the messenger replied, "May the enemies of my lord the king, and all who rise up to do you harm, be like that young man." Those words struck David like a ton of bricks. His son Absalom was dead. It did not matter how his son had died. All that mattered was that his son was dead With the death of Absalom all of David's hopes and dreams of reconciliation vanished. There would be no reconciliation between father and son -- the son was dead.

David's cry could be heard by others, "O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would I had died instead of you, O Absalom, my son, my son!" David stood all alone in his grief. Without a doubt this was David's most authentic moment; no more plans, no more scheming, his son was dead and even though they had great differences he felt afflicted with grief.

When our lives are out of control and nothing much is making any sense, it's time to turn to God. David got himself into trouble thinking he could take care of himself. During the most crucial times in his later life, David did not turn to God for advice. David was who God wanted to lead the people. David was a complete man with a special talent for leadership. David would once again unite the people.

What is difficult for us is to know when things are getting out of hand. We think we are doing all right. Everything is going our way, then something happens that reveals there is a problem. It's at that moment that we should turn to God. Reading about the life of King David, it's easy for us to see where he went wrong. It's easy to identify his mistakes. What is hard for us to see is that what we are doing is wrong and might lead to disaster. When everything seems to be going well, it's hard to see any differently.

David Loe is a perfect example of someone who thought everything was all right. David Loe grew up in Texas and claims that he has been interested in airplanes and flying since he was in junior high school. While growing up, David had models flying from his ceiling. When persons asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, he would always respond, a pilot. While in college David received his pilot's license. His first job was flying for a small company in Arizona. David loved what he was doing, flying a plane. His dream would be short-lived, for soon the company filed for bankruptcy and David was without a job.

David tried to get other jobs flying, but he could not find any. It was the classic example: he did not have enough experience to get the jobs he really wanted. It was impossible not to be discouraged. At a low point, David was offered a quick $5000 to fly to Mexico in a rented plane to pick up 600 pounds of marijuana. The job would be easy and it paid very well. He was lured into doing something he knew was wrong, but he was out of work and out of money. As soon as he returned from his first trip he was asked to make another trip and then another.

"That's how it all started," David explained. "I was hooked in the adventure and the cash. I began to live in the fast lane." David attended all-night parties and bought himself "expensive clothes, antique cars, a waterfront house and a sailboat." David recalls bragging to his older sister, "This is the life." He was surprised at his sister's reaction. She was not impressed. "Is that what life is about?" she asked him in disgust. "David, you need to get your life right with Jesus," she counseled. Later when David told his friends about his conversation with his sister, they all shared a good laugh together.

Then his partner was arrested and David was afraid that he too would be arrested and sent to prison. He was scared. It was at this point that his life seemed terribly out of control. He needed to speak with his family, but he was afraid that if he made any contact the phone call would be traced and the authorities would find him. He was scared and had no one to turn to. Being on the run for eight months was beginning to take its toll on David. He was a mess. One night when he was unable to sleep, he thought of all his close calls and felt that God was protecting him. The words of his sister many months before kept pounding in his head, "You've got to get right with Jesus." "How can I," David wondered, "after all the things I've done? I've run from God for so long, but now ... now ... is it too late? Can even a drug runner be forgiven?" he wondered that sleepless night.

The turning point came when David prayed, "God, do what you want with me. Do something! Anything!" From that moment on, David's life has changed for the better. David decided he would turn himself in to the federal marshals. He was tired of being on the run. David's punishment wasn't as bad as he thought, five years probation along with a $10,000 fine. David got right with Jesus. "When I repented, I didn't get the punishment I deserved. Instead," David claims, "I received total forgiveness."

David Loe still remembers the wrong he has done. He feels he has a responsibility to young people. It is for that reason that he speaks to churches to counsel and pray with young people who want to free their lives of the deadly influence of drugs. "I do it out of gratitude," David says.1

It's never too late to turn to Jesus, especially at those times when our lives seem to be totally out of control.


1. David Loe, "Pilot Error," Guideposts, September 1992, pp. 20-23.

CSS Publishing Company, Inc, No Particular Place To Go, by Timothy J. Smith