John 13:1-17 · Jesus Washes His Disciples' Feet
It Is Also Blessed to Receive
John 13:1-17
Sermon
by James McCormick
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One of the most meaning filled stories in the New Testament is the account of the last supper. It was the Passover, and Jesus and his disciples gathered in an upper room to share in the meal. It was customary, and an expected act of hospitality, to have someone there to wash the feet of those who had come. But there was no servant present, and the disciples were busy jockeying for the preferred positions in the coming Kingdom. They all wanted to be pre-eminent in the Kingdom, so none was willing to lower himself to such a menial task. But it needed to be done, so Jesus himself took a basin and a towel and began to wash the feet of the disciples.

I imagine that they were embarrassed because Jesus was willing to do what none of them was willing to do. If they weren’t embarrassed, they should have been. When Jesus got to Peter, Peter couldn’t take it. He said, “Lord, you will never wash my feet!” Don’t you know how difficult it must have been for Peter to accept this act of humility and service from one he considered to be so much greater than himself. I mean, this was Jesus, the Christ, kneeling down in the dirt to be a servant to the disciples. Peter resisted. But Jesus said, “If I do not wash your feet, then you will have no part of me.”

Most of what we talk about in that event was the act of humble service that Jesus rendered. In fact, he asked them later, “Do you understand what I have done for you? I have given you an example. You should do to one another as I have done to you. This is how people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” With the basin and the towel, Jesus gave them and us an example of servant love. Later, at the cross, he gave us the gift of suffering love. And that’s what we usually emphasize – these two loving events.

But there is another truth here which we must not miss. When Peter resisted Jesus’ gift of servant love, Jesus said, “If I do not wash your feet, then you will have no part of me.” Do you understand what Jesus was saying? He was saying that the willingness and the ability to receive is essential to relationship. If Peter refused to allow Jesus to give him something, they could have no meaningful relationship. Relationship requires giving and receiving.

In the scripture I read from Acts, Paul reports some words of Jesus that are not included anywhere in the gospels. We get these words only from Paul. He reported Jesus saying, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” I have heard that scripture quoted all my life. Almost always the emphasis is upon the importance of giving, and that indeed is the primary emphasis. But Jesus does not say that we are only to give and not receive. No. By implication, Jesus is saying, “However blessed it is to give, it is also blessed to receive.” Have you ever thought about that? It is not either/or. It is both/and. Clearly, in the totality of life we are to receive as well as give.

I.

To begin with, it is obvious that we must be willing and able to receive because we need it. Much of the time we would like to maintain the illusion that we are quite self-sufficient. We have within ourselves everything we need to live a full, happy, and successful life. So, we don’t need anyone or anything else. Much of the time we’d like to think that, wouldn’t we? But, in our more honest moments we know that is an illusion. We do need to receive - from God, and from other people.

We need to receive because that’s the way God made us. You have heard me say again and again that life is about relationships. When you boil it all down, life is either good or less than good depending upon the quality of our relationships. We are not to live in isolation, but in relationship. And we are not to be self-sufficient; we are to be inter-dependent. We receive and give. Others receive and give. And, in all the receiving and giving, the relationships grow and life becomes much more like what God intends. So, if we understand life, we understand it is a two way street. We do not receive all the time without giving; but neither do we give all the time without receiving. Life involves a two-fold motion: we receive and we give, we receive and we give.

And the fact is, we cannot give unless we have first received. Our lives are not vast reservoirs of inexhaustible gifts for others. No, our supply of love, of caring, of helpfulness, and of all of the other gifts is limited. And we will exhaust our supply unless we are constantly re-stocking.

The Bible reminds us that, “we love because he first loved us.” What that scripture is saying is that whatever loving or giving we Christians are able to do, is the result of receiving from God. We simply pass on to others the gifts we receive from Him. And we can be sure that we will soon run out of good things to give, unless we continue to receive.

I helped to lead a retreat for a Sunday School class recently. I told them about Ross Whetstone, a former staff member of one of the General Boards of the United Methodist Church. Ross is a charismatic Christian – I mean by that that he has received the gift of glossolalia - he speaks in tongues. Some of his fellow charismatics often approach him and ask if he is “Spirit filled.” That’s their code word for being okay or not okay in their circles. If you are “Spirit filled” you are okay; if not, you are not okay. When they ask him, “Ross, are you Spirit filled?” he said he always replies, “Sometimes I am ‘Spirit filled’ and sometimes I am not. My problem is, I leak.”

Well, so do I. Sometimes my supply of God’s Spirit and His love run out because I am passing them on to others. Sometimes the supply runs out because I become careless and neglect replenishing the supply. But the fact is, I cannot pass on what I do not have. And unless I am constantly receiving from God, I cannot pass his gifts on to others. When we read about Jesus in the gospels, we learn that Jesus spent a great deal of time in prayer. Clearly, he could not do the remarkable things that he did - loving, serving, and giving - unless he opened himself to receive from God. If Jesus needed that, how much more do we need it?

Psychologists tell us that we are incapable of loving other people unless we have first been loved. Unless we have experienced it, we don’t even know what it is. We have to receive it before we can pass it on. Years ago, I was invited to speak for a Chapel service at a Children’s Home. Before the service, the Superintendent suggested that I not use the term, “Father” with reference to God. Many of the children there had had such bad experiences with their fathers, he feared the term would distort their understanding of God. He went on to say that so many of the children there had difficulty giving love to anyone. For most of their lives they had not been loved, so they were incapable of loving. Do you understand? You can’t love unless you have been loved. You can’t give unless you have first received.

That’s why I keep reminding Christians that gathering together for worship and prayer and study and nurture is essential to the Christian life. You cannot live as an authentic Christian out there unless at the same time you are gathering with other Christians to receive all that God has to give. Our giving will soon exhaust our supply unless we are actively receiving.

I know the truth of that in my experience. Every day I encounter people who are hurting, people with huge needs. I try to be loving and helpful in every way I know how. I give as much as I have to give. But sometimes I get tired. Sometimes I become emotionally drained. Sometimes I become discouraged, and feel that I have nothing left to give. But, almost always, if I am open to it, God will find a way to give me what I need. Sometimes God’s help comes through something I am reading. Sometimes God will refresh my spirit through a note from a friend, or a telephone call, or a comment of encouragement. Sometimes it happens in times of prayer. But again and again, often in unlikely ways, I receive from God, and as a result, I am enabled to give.

Of course, to receive from God or from family and friends requires some humility. In order to receive, we must acknowledge that we are not all-sufficient - we need what others can give. But, it is precisely when we become humble enough to receive from God and from others that we are made ready to give to others for the right reason, in the right spirit, and of the right substance. It’s just as Jesus said to Peter, “If I do not wash your feet, then you will have no part of me.” It’s true: unless we receive, we miss out on life as God intends it. Unless we receive, we cannot give. So, for our sakes, we must be willing and able to receive.

II.

There is one more thing we must see. Not only must we receive because we need it. We must also receive because other people need to be able to give.

I love the “Prayer of St. Francis,” and especially that phrase, “It is in giving that we receive.” Certainly that is true, but the opposite is also true: “It is in receiving that we give.”

When we are willing to receive from someone, we are acknowledging that they are persons of worth, and that they have something worth giving to us. So, our receiving is, in reality, giving an important gift to them. Our willingness to receive sets up a two way interchange which makes relationship possible. Every healthy relationship requires both – both giving and receiving from each partner in the relationship.

In some respects, it is easier to give than to receive. It is easier to serve than to be served. If we insist upon always being the giver and never the receiver, it might be because we like to think of ourselves as the superior, self-sufficient person: “I pass out gifts, I don’t need them!” You can see, I am sure, how such giving can be a very self-serving, destructive thing. One person is superior, the other inferior. One person has gifts worth giving, the other person has nothing of worth. There can be no real relationship under those circumstances. A healthy relationship requires both giving and receiving from both parties.

With this in mind, take a look at your family, your friends. Are the significant relationships in your life two-way relationships in which all parties give and receive? Or are they relationships in which the same persons always insist upon the giving? This is something we parents need to think about. It is so important to recognize our children and our grandchildren as persons of worth, with very important gifts they can share with us. They have insights. They have feelings. They have experiences to share. If we always insist upon giving without receiving, we are denying them their full humanity, and we are cheating ourselves out of very precious relationships. Once we begin receiving, we may be surprised at how much we have been missing, all because we have refused the gifts of others.

I don’t know about you, but I have more difficulty in receiving than in giving. My giving feeds my ego. It makes me feel like a worthwhile person, and there is nothing wrong with that. But what is wrong is that I find it easier to help someone than to receive help from them. I find it very difficult to ask someone to do something for me. I don’t know whether I just don’t want to impose on them, or whether I feel that I am not worthy of their time and effort, or whether I just don’t have enough humility to put myself in a receiving position. I do know that I have difficulty receiving.

But I am working on it, because I know that when I refuse the gifts of others, I am depriving them of something very important to them. And, although I don’t intend it, it’s really a “put down.” I am implying that they don’t have anything worth giving to me. And, I know that if I am going to have significant relationships, I must be able to receive as well as give. Here’s an important part of that: when you love someone, you want to be able to give to them. But if the one you love thinks that he or she is self-sufficient and has no need of what we have to give, how do we express our love? Don’t you see how that gets in the way of relationship? The channel through which love can flow has been cut off. No, there can be no meaningful relationship unless we are able to receive as well as give.

Sometimes, I have done it right. I well remember that when my parents were in their 80’s, retired and living on Social Security and a small pension, they never stopped wanting to give to their children as they had done all their lives. So, whenever we would go to see them on vacation, or whenever we had a large expense, my parents would send a check to help out. Now, I could have sent it back, explaining that their retirement income was much smaller than mine and that we could get along quite nicely without their contribution. But that would have been my pride speaking. If I had done that, it would have said to them that they were no longer needed, and it would have deprived them of one of their primary remaining joys – the joy of giving. My willingness to receive from them was one of my best gifts to them. It is blessed to give, that’s true; but it’s also blessed to receive. That’s true too.

Let me say it one more time, and I will close with this. An American woman, Elizabeth Byrd was vacationing in Scotland one year. While traveling through the countryside, she met a local farm woman, a Mrs. McIntosh. Mrs. McIntosh’ husband was away at market, and the two women hit it off, so she invited Elizabeth to stay with her overnight. As soon as they arrived at the farm house, it began to rain and the wind began to blow. A storm had come from out of nowhere and it looked like it would be a big one. It wasn’t very long before the electricity went out. The two women busied themselves with lighting candles and building a fire in the fireplace. There was a knock at the door, and when Mrs. McIntosh opened it, there was a teen-aged boy from the neighboring farm. He had been born with a deformed leg, and had difficulty getting around. He walked with a serious limp. He explained that his father had tried to call to check up on them, but the telephone lines were down. So, this young man had come to see if they were all right.

The American woman began to talk about how much she liked wind and rain and a roaring fire in the fireplace. “Then, you’re not scared?” he asked. Mrs. Byrd started to say, “No, we’re not frightened. Everything is just fine!” But, before she could open her mouth, Mrs. McIntosh broke in, saying, “Of course she was scared, and so was I. But now everything is fine. We have a man around!”

The boy broke into a big grin. “I’ll see that everything is snug,” he said, as he moved toward the door. He felt like he was ten feet tall! He felt very special as he left the farm house that night - all because a very wise Mrs. McIntosh had been willing to receive his gift.

Do you understand? We need to receive, and other people need the experience of giving. It’s true, isn’t it? As blessed as it is to give, it is also blessed to receive.

Prayer: Father, deliver us from the delusion that we are self-sufficient and have no need of anyone or anything. Help us to receive from You and from others, so that we will have gifts to give. And help us to be able to receive as a very significant way of giving. Hear our prayer of gratitude for Your many gifts of love to us. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.

ChristianGlobe Networks, Inc., Selected Sermons, by James McCormick