It has become a cliché, but the ability to take a lemon in life and make lemonade is the most determining factor in successfully coping with life's most difficult circumstances. Somewhere I read a story about an American serviceman who was stationed deep in the Sahara Desert. Finding himself with a few hours to kill, he put ...
2302. Please Excuse…
Humor Illustration
... an absent tooth. The basement of our house got flooded where the children slept so they had to be evaporated. Please excuse Connie from gym class today, as she has difficulty breeding. Anne did not do her homework because I couldn't understand it. It says his Mental Ability on that sheet you sent home. I don't think you should be giving my child any of that mental stuff in school. He's not mental. I no my dotter dont read much but she aint illiterat. I married her father a week before she was born. Sally ...
2303. A Greek Testament
Humor Illustration
As a young man at Oxford, Oscar Wilde was being tested on his ability to translate from the Greek. The assignment was to orally translate the Greek version of the New Testament, and Wilde began accurately translating the story of the Passion. His examiners told him that he had passed and could stop, but Wilde went on reading. They again interrupted, but Wilde continued ...
2304. Rule the World with Laughter
Illustration
Staff
... in spite of the state of their lives. As George Santayana has said, "There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval." To enjoy that interval, we need to step outside of ourselves and see our lives as important, but not serious. God gave us the ability to endure any hardship. Sometimes we endure it with tears and heartbreak; sometimes we endure it with numbness and the passage of time. The wisest course of all is to have a chuckle along the way.
2305. Squeezed Dry
Humor Illustration
Stephen Olford tells about a circus athlete who earned his living by displaying astonishing feats of physical strength. His show would normally conclude with a simple, but impressive, demonstration of his ability to squeeze an orange dry! After completing his act, he would then challenge his audience to produce any one who could extract even one drop of juice from the crushed fruit. On one of these occasions, a little man volunteered. He was so diminutive that his very appearance raised a ...
2306. Big Fish In a Small World
Humor Illustration
... the big ones away?" The old fellow looked up and without blinking an eye said, "Why, because my frying pan's ten inches!" The ten-inch frying pan can represent our dreams and goals. With young people it might represent their physical, mental and spiritual capacities. We often limit our ability to live life abundantly because all we have is a ten-inch frying pan.
... dread when they hear the words “take home final.” At first blush it seems a no-brainer. Who wouldn’t prefer a take home exam? There is no time crunch. There is unlimited access to resources for checking facts and figures. There is the ability to modify, or even completely change, responses after thinking about them for a while. But the students who dread the take home final know there is a down side to all those benefits. With all that extra time and unlimited information and fluid flexibility, there ...
... a British behavioral scientist named Keith Kendrick. Kendrick’s team found that sheep can recognize as many as 50 other sheep for up to two years. This means that sheep have a reasonable amount of intelligence. Kendrick suggests that they may have similar abilities in many ways to humans. (2) These thoughts about sheep might help us focus our attention today on these words from our Old Testament lesson from Ezekiel. Ezekiel writes, “For this is what the Sovereign Lord says: ‘I myself will search for ...
2309. Life’s Take-Home Final
Matthew 25:31-46
Illustration
Leonard Sweet
... with dread when they hear the words "take home final." At first blush it seems a no-brainer. Who wouldn't prefer a take home exam? There is no time crunch. There is unlimited access to resources for checking facts and figures. There is the ability to modify, or even completely change, responses after thinking about them for a while. But the students who dread the take home final know there is a down side to all those benefits. With all that extra time and unlimited information and fluid flexibility, there ...
... “home-made” give us positive or negative — we never really leave the “home-made” behind. Whatever we do. Wherever we go. We bring our “home-madeness” with us. It is as if we are pre-programmed with a certain “set” of home-made abilities. But don’t think that means you have strict limitations on where and what and who you are. The possibilities for all of us “home-made” “home-sick” humans are endless. Want an example of almost endless possibilities with a limited starting point ...
... , no matter how many “tribes” there are. In one group are those who, in the face of the unexpected, meltdown, freeze, or fold. In the other group are those who cope, manage, and overcome when the unforeseen rears its head. This difference in ability and mobility is less dependent on the facts, and far more dependent upon faith. All “Survivor” stories combine components of grace and good luck, grit and gumption. But at the very base of those who “survive” in the face of surprising challenges, are ...
... , this “star” becomes their own personal nav, their own “GPS” system, its movement guiding the magi to a specific destination. The star, which had been merely a prophetic portent, is now capable of offering precise geographical positioning. This “star” and the ability to detect it and read its message, echoes the prophecy of another “magi,” Balaam before King Balek (Numbers 24:17). As in Balaam’s prophecy, the presence of the star is not good news for the sitting ruler. It foretells the ...
... , this “star” becomes their own personal nav, their own “GPS” system, its movement guiding the magi to a specific destination. The star, which had been merely a prophetic portent, is now capable of offering precise geographical positioning. This “star” and the ability to detect it and read its message, echoes the prophecy of another “magi,” Balaam before King Balek (Numbers 24:17). As in Balaam’s prophecy, the presence of the star is not good news for the sitting ruler. It foretells the ...
... up by his grandmother and his sister while his mother supported them by working in a cotton mill. His mother made $30 a week. They survived, says one source, on pinto beans, turnip greens, cornbread and molasses. In his early school years, Oates discovered he had the ability to excel academically. And if he was ever going to get out of the mill town, out of poverty, that might be his way. “The trouble was,” says this source, “at age 14 everybody had to go to work in the mill and that meant you never ...
... . Paul, “created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Let me ask you a question: How do you feel about yourself? Do you feel like you are the handiwork of God? Do you feel you have within yourself the ability to be heroic like Sergeant Richard Kirkland? Do you feel you could change the world? Or are you satisfied to just get by? Are you satisfied doing as little as you possibly can to justify your existence? I believe God created us for more than just getting by ...
... come out to see what they thought was the leader of a new religious movement, and quite possibly the long-awaited Messiah. They had heard amazing stories about this man about his feeding thousands of people with two fish and five small loaves, about his ability to heal, and even about his raising of Lazarus from the dead. Could this be, they wondered hopefully, the One they had long been awaiting? “Here he comes,” those at the front exclaimed as the procession drew near. Those at the back jostled for a ...
... ,” begins to offer miraculous moments of healing — both spiritual and physical — the exorcism of demons and the healing of physical illnesses. Yet as he had with the first miraculous moment, Jesus forbids the banished demons “to speak.” His abilities are being revealed publically, but his true identity is being veiled by privacy. In Mark’s gospel this “Messianic secret” is a constant throughout Jesus’ public ministry. Mark’s text emphasizes the tremendous public response of Capernaum to ...
... ,” begins to offer miraculous moments of healing — both spiritual and physical — the exorcism of demons and the healing of physical illnesses. Yet as he had with the first miraculous moment, Jesus forbids the banished demons “to speak.” His abilities are being revealed publically, but his true identity is being veiled by privacy. In Mark’s gospel this “Messianic secret” is a constant throughout Jesus’ public ministry. Mark’s text emphasizes the tremendous public response of Capernaum to ...
... :45-46), this man kneels before Jesus and speaks right to his face. Although some manuscripts do not specify the kneeling action of the man, it is an action that fits with both the plea of the leper and the man’s evident belief in Jesus’ ability to cleanse him of his sickness. Because leprosy was an ailment that required divine intervention, in order to effect a cure one had to be cleansed — not just healed. In kneeling this man is affirming his belief that Jesus had access to such divine power. While ...
... , so Paul admits that to some who are not open to the new presence of God in their midst the message and truth of Jesus’ true divinity might seem “veiled.” In 2 Corinthians 3: 13-16, Paul recalled how a “veil” (“kalumma”) befogged Israel’s ability to see the glory of God that Moses presented to the people. In this text Paul asserts that likewise the gospel, the “glory of Christ who is the image of God” (v.4), is “veiled” to those who are “blinded” by unbelief, by those who are ...
... spirit. Tim Tebow is a star and a Christian who was always the golden-child of football. But Jeremy Lin is one “star” whose time “in the wilderness” is well documented. Nobody ever really wanted Jeremy Lin. At best he was momentarily appreciated for his abilities at the same time he was being dismissed because of his academic achievements and his Asian heritage. He had gifts and graces. But he needed grit and gumption to put them into play. The wilderness is real and raw place. In today’s gospel ...
... , but also considered putting them under one greater canopy. The canopy of “touched.” The truth is: We are all “touched.” We are touched by circumstances. We are touched by our limitations. We are touched by our gifts. We are touched by abilities and disabilities. Yet we need to be “touched” even more elementally than this: if we follow Jesus, we are deeply “touched” because Jesus’ first invitation to his disciples was to touch him. Touch his wounds. Touch his weakness. Touch his body. We ...
... resurrection throughout the world. Jesus is the “root” that keeps our family tree healthy and flowering. When the “Mother Church” forgets that witnessing to Christ’s love is the foundation of its faith, the nourishment for its roots, it loses its ability to produce fruit. For a while such a “family tree” might continue to appear healthy, even lush with extra leaves and broad branches. But its fruitlessness spells its doom. There is no such thing as a “born Christian,” only “born‑again ...
... ; God gives us Emmanuel: “you shall find a babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.” A Son is better than a statement Among scholars both within and without the church, Jesus is lauded for his unique and memorable abilities as a teacher. In fact, more and more writers are arguing that Jesus’ teaching and preaching style seem as much if not more applicable to the 21st century setting than the first century context. Jesus’ pithy parables, probing questions, dissecting diatribes ...
... to be the best he could be and the rest is history. There is a part of almost everyone that is thrilled when someone attempts to reach lofty goals. The pioneer, the successful entrepreneur, the victorious athlete all speak to us about the ability of the human spirit to achieve monumental accomplishments when properly motivated. Vicariously, we share in their achievements and find hope for our own lives in their successes. President John F. Kennedy’s hero was his grandfather, and he loved to hear stories ...