These are actual excuses received by school teachers:

• My son is under the doctor's care and should not take Physical Education today. Please execute him.
• Dear School: Please eckuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
• Please excuse Mary for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot."
• Mary could not come to school today because she bothered by very close veins.
• Fred has an acre in his side.
• My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent the weekend with the Marines.
• Please excuse June from gym. She is administrating.
• Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
• P…