... 'm beginning to see things in a different light. It hit me when I was a guest at our eldest son's wedding. That's all I was ” a guest. I am no longer considered part of the family. My first wife knew everyone present, and they showered her with affection. She remarried, and her husband has been taken inside the circle that was once ours. They gave the rehearsal dinner, and sat next to my sons and their sweethearts. I was proud to have a young pretty wife at my side. But it didn't make up for the pain ...
... his visage where it could not be missed, a fixation upon his reality often took place. In short, what people expect is what they get. Psychologists call it the "self-fulfilling prophecy." Not only do our past experiences affect our expectations of the present and future but our expectations in turn affect our experiences. We can look for thorns or we can look for roses. Either way, we will probably find that for which we are searching. A certain wife always tried to give her husband a cheerful welcome home ...
... for days on end because of a minor slight. Such anger is the product of a deep sense of low self esteem. Such persons make the headlines on a regular basis. One of those whose name lives in infamy was raised by a very dominant mother, who showed him no affection, love, or discipline. His friends at school had little to do with him, and at thirteen, his school psychologist said he didn't know what it meant to be loved. The girls teased him, and the boys beat him up. As an escape from all the abuse, he joined ...
... for Student Motivation conducted a study. It showed that the correlation between self-confidence and academic achievement is greater than that between IQ and academic achievement. Your kid isn't stupid. He simply has a low opinion of himself. How we think about ourselves radically affects how happy and how healthy we are. No fact about us is clearer. "As a man thinks in his heart so is he...." (Pro. 23:7) And some of us don't think very much of ourselves. A kindergarten teacher wrote a song about popcorn ...
... A safe and secure world. Do we think that our children will be spared the problems of the growing crime rate or the despair of the inner cities? Do we think that the continuing threat of political unrest throughout the world will not affect them? Think how many Americans were affected by the Gulf War. Do we really believe that every trouble spot will be as easily dealt with as Iraq? What about our deteriorating schools? There is a shortsightedness on the part of many people today, a stinginess, even a mean ...
... areas." Mr. and Mrs. Right not only adjust to the changes that take place in marriage, but also adjust to those qualities in their spouse that will never change! IN THE THIRD PLACE, MR. AND MRS. RIGHT WILL FIND OPPORTUNITIES TO EXPRESS APPRECIATION AND AFFECTION TOWARD THEIR SPOUSE. There are all kinds of ways of doing that. The simple act of listening to our partner is one way. According to one psychologist the average amount of significant conversation between husbands and wives is 17 minutes a week. That ...
... uplifting film, their antibody level rose significantly ” even for those who did not like Mother Teresa (some thought her a fraud.) He then showed the students a film on Atilla the Hun and their antibody levels dropped. The implication is clear. The things we focus on can affect the way we feel. If we want a feeling of gratitude in life, we need to focus on what's good in life. You may have noticed a recent study that indicates that in cities where country music is the most listened to sound on the radio ...
... as Jesus. So I have to admit I joined in. I got caught up in the moment, in the ecstacy of the crowd, and yelled for Barabbas. It's funny, now that I think about it, how a crowd consciousness affects a person's rational thinking. Has crowd psychology ever affected you ” times you found yourself on one side or another; or found yourself influenced by friends or people you respect ” even when your heart tells you it's wrong? We all cheered when Barabbas was released. We started walking away, enjoying ...
... love songs between each course. After the meal, one of the men stood up and announced that a letter had been found floating in the debris of the Titanic. It was now being read for the first time. Then he read a wonderful love letter of praise and affection from a man to his wife. At the end of the letter, he revealed that he had actually written the letter for his own wife. Then each man presented his wife with her own love letter. Later, the pastor said, "There was something sacred about the entire evening ...
... gave him a goodnight kiss. Forty years later, Dudley says, "I almost spin when I think about it. She was truly an angel of mercy, and that kiss was probably the first taste of real, unqualified, uncomplicated affection I had ever had. In many ways my entire life is based on recapturing that single moment of affection." (2) How did Dudley Moore deal with his need for acceptance? He learned to make his classmates laugh. He became the class clown. And the rest, as they say, is history. We all have a need to ...
... 're also likelier to have a gene that fosters this thrill-seeking temperament. Studies by Israeli and U.S. researchers, published in Nature Genetics, have linked novelty-seeking behavior with a gene that affects the body's response to the brain chemical dopamine. Dopamine helps stimulate the feeling of euphoria. It affects how we perceive pain, and it plays a role in the sensations produced by some addictive drugs. The researchers found that people with the gene for the D4 dopamine receptor were likelier to ...
... men and women. But we don't even have to have the right parents. Studies show that such things as our height can affect our destiny. Tall men earn more money than people of average height or shorter. Now scientists are suggesting that there may be ... see where I am leading? None of us are self-made. There were factors at work even before we were born that, to a certain extent, affected the outcome of our lives. In a very real sense, most of us were born to a great destiny--not because God pointed to us while ...
... of time. His pastor suggested he go to a certain internist who was good at making accurate diagnoses. The doctor examined this man and ordered a variety of tests. The doctor was concerned about the man's heart, and how the health of his entire body was affected by his heart. The man's arteries were clogged. The man had been overweight for some time, and he was always under stress. He allowed good health to deteriorate into bad health. The doctor said: "You came to me at the right time. Another six months or ...
... the church on society. In his book, The Second Coming of The Church Barna says, "At the risk of sounding like an alarmist, I believe the Church in America has no more than five years--perhaps even less--to turn itself around and begin to affect the culture, rather than be affected by it." (3) Five years Barna warns or this temple we love will lay in ruins. Oh, the shell might be around for another century but the church as a live, redemptive force will be no more. Should we be concerned? Is there any hope ...
... on what are often called "bad hair days." This study found that on those days when our hair just won't cooperate, we feel less smart, less capable, more embarrassed and less sociable. What was surprising to the researchers was that men, not women, were most likely to be affected by bad hair days. (1) [Of course, some of us men no longer have to worry about bad hair days.] We all like to look good. It's like the story of a man who married a woman who was unattractive. But she had a beautiful singing voice ...
... the end of your days that you have been cultivating an insignificant life! No amount of money or fame or status can make up for a life that was spent in self-centeredness and vanity. THE SECOND POINT OF THIS PARABLE IS THAT OUR VIEW OF GOD AFFECTS OUR STEWARDSHIP OF OUR LIFE. The first and second servants trusted their master's commands. Even when he was gone, they proved trustworthy and wise in their handling of the master's property. And in the end, they earned the master's trust and fellowship. But the ...
... 'd be tired. A parking ticket would just make you blue, And in the holiday spirit this just would not do. So during this time of friendship and good cheer, Season's greetings to you and best wishes all year. (1) What a pleasant surprise. When Christmas affects even the meter police, we know it's having a positive effect on society. We noted a couple of weeks ago that there is something about Christmas that lifts our spirits and gives us hope. Our story today begins with a priest named Zechariah and his wife ...
... to be inscribed with his former name. He plans to plant it in the tall grass on his property. He said it will read, "Charles Walter Haffey, born September 23, 1948, and died October 21, 1968, Republic of Vietnam.'' (3) Our hearts go out to anyone who is so affected by the insanity of war, but we need to be careful how we treat God's name. In the words of Isaiah the prophet, God is "holy, holy, holy." God is the Divine Other. God is not the "man upstairs." God is high and lifted up. Touching God requires ...
... carry around a deep sense of rejection because they can't let go of the past. There are marriages that are suffering because one partner or another can't let go of the past. There are people sabotaging their future because their lives are so deeply affected by an incident or a series of incidents in their past. Psychotherapist Pat Pearson had a client named Susan--a gifted young woman who achieved success early in her career. For a woman who was raised in near poverty, this was quite an accomplishment. At ...
... in their household as slightly less worthy than themselves. How else could you expect your household staff to eat in the kitchen while serving you in the fine dining room? But this doesn't sound like Jesus, does it? And of course that is the point. Jesus has so affected our lives that we can never look at another human being as being less worthy than we are. So we must look for a deeper lesson in this passage--even though we are offended by the reference to slaves and by how elitist it sounds. In the third ...
... 100 minutes, an interval rarely seen in the past. Geologists think earthquakes sometimes shift the earth's crust enough to affect the natural underground plumbing that feeds geysers. According to experts, Old Faithful will probably regain its normal schedule of ... failed to meet its responsibilities. (3) Need I say that you and I have earthquakes in our lives--earthquakes that may affect our ability or our willingness to keep our commitments? Have you ever known a person who was a committed jogger who ...
... and connect with one another. One of the most surprising findings of the study was that some people don't share many of their most intimate feelings with their significant other. For instance, 38% of the men in the study wanted more affection from their wives--not sex, but simple affection--but didn't know how to ask for it. Thirty percent of men wanted to talk to their wives about faith and spiritual issues, but they didn't. Twenty-six percent of men and women polled wanted partners who would "ask me ...
... many of us have. "If God will be with me, then God will be my God." Later, at Penial, Jacob's faith will move a step higher--to an unconditional faith in God. Still, you can see Jacob grow in spiritual understanding and character. His experience at Bethel has affected his life radically. Unfortunately, when Jacob finally becomes a man who no longer cheats to get what he wants, he runs into a man who has no such scruples. It's his uncle Laban. But we're getting ahead of our story. It's interesting, isn't it ...
... and its leg was broken and properly reset. The dog was given food and water as soon as it was awake, and every provision was made for its physical needs during recuperation. But everyone who dealt with the dog had been instructed not to show it any love or affection. Only a few days after the procedure, the dog shook with fear in this new world without love Then he stopped eating. Gangrene set in, and it was obvious that the dog was dying. Once more it was given a sedative and the leg was treated. This time ...
... old, you'll notice a lot of exuberance appearing. This is your test as a parent. If you fail this test the child will end in prison or drug addiction." Not all child psychologists of the time thought in this way, but many did, and their thought affected the lives of millions of children. One way of curing exuberance, they said, was to keep the severity of punishments unrelated to the offense. If the child spills milk, for example, don't speak to the child for three days. (2) That seems a little severe to ...