It's a classic children's story told time and time again. A little boy is asked by his kindergarten teacher where his heart is. He points to the seat of his pants. "Why do you say that is where your heart is?" asks the kindergarten teacher. "Because," said the little boy, "My grandmother is always patting me there and saying, ˜Bless your little heart.'" There is no more relevant question that we can ask than this one: "Where is your heart?" SOME OF YOU WOULD SAY THAT YOUR HEART IS WITH YOUR FAMILY. And ...
A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the first time. The church was having a special candlelight service. The church lights were lowered; then the choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles. All was quiet until this three-year-old started to sing in a loud voice, "Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you . . ." (1) It was only a candlelight service, but it seemed like a birthday party to her. And today [tonight], she would be right! This is a celebration of Jesus' birthday. ...
The pastor of the Baptist Church had been trying for months to get little Johnny to come to church to be with his third grade Sunday school class. Finally, after talking to Little Johnny and his mother for what seemed to be the hundredth time, Johnny finally agreed to go this next Sunday. The pastor came by the house and picked him up and Johnny did seem to enjoy all of the proceedings except as the baptismal service began he ran out the back door and all the way home. His mother asked him why did he run ...
You may have read about a man in California who has to be the worst bank robber in history. He went into a Bank of America in San Francisco and wrote out a stick up note on the back of a deposit slip. He got in line to present his note to the teller, but while he was in line he started thinking that maybe somebody saw him writing the stick up note. Maybe they were calling the police right now. So he decided to get out of line and go across the street to the Wells-Fargo bank. He had to wait in line there, ...
Author Tim Storey tells a great story about how easy it is to rush to pass judgement on others. Tim pulled up in front of his neighborhood barber shop and parked. As he fished around for his wallet, he felt the sickening crunch of metal hitting metal. Somebody hit his car! What an idiot! But when he jumped out to look, Tim didn't see anyone. As he was muttering under his breath about stupid drivers, a little old lady came out of the barber shop and announced, “I saw the whole thing." Turns out, he was the ...
Pat Kelly, a major league outfielder in the '70s, was a born-again Christian. One day Pat said to his manager, Earl Weaver, "Aren't you glad I walk with the Lord, Earl?" Weaver replied, "I'd rather you walked with the bases loaded." When one football coach was asked about his offensive team's execution he replied, "I'm all for it." Sports are popular because they are a metaphor for our life experience. You win some, you lose some. Sometimes you feel like the champion of the world. Sometimes you just feel ...
Some of you may be campers. Summertime means adventures in the great outdoors. One thing I've discovered is that camping isn't for everyone. Reed Glenn of the Daily Camera in Boulder, Colorado compiled a list of comments received by the US Forest Service from back packers and campers: "Too many bugs and leeches and spiders," wrote one unhappy camper. "Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests." Another wrote, "A McDonald's would be nice at trail head." And one more adventurer wrote, "The ...
Someone once said that a pun is the lowest form of humor, but sometimes I can't resist. There once was a young man--a Puritan, somewhere around Boston in the 18th century--who had a great deal of difficulty remembering the various rules of conduct in his community. He tried hard, but was constantly being ridiculed because of some breach of etiquette. In desperation, he asked an older man, also a Puritan, to teach him proper manners. The task was formidable, and the older man's patience grew thin, as he had ...
(Mother's Day) Have you ever noticed that, across time and space, mothers everywhere share certain similarities? Someone compiled a list of possible sayings of Biblical mothers. See if any of these sound familiar: DAVID! I told you not to play in the house with that sling! Go practice your harp. We pay good money for those lessons! ABRAHAM! Stop wandering around the countryside and get home for supper! SHADRACH, MESHACH AND ABEDNEGO! Leave those clothes outside, you smell like a furnace! CAIN! Get off your ...
Two men, walking through the woods, come across a big deep hole. "Wow . . . that looks deep," says one. "Sure does," says the other. "Toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is." They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait . . . no noise. "Hey, that is REALLY deep," says the first man. "Here, throw one of these great big rocks down there. That should make a noise." They pick up a couple of football-sized rocks and toss them into the hole and wait . . . and wait. Nothing. They look at each ...
Kevin, that irascible scamp of the Home Alone movies, is one of Hollywood's beloved characters. As portrayed by Macaulay Culkin, he is mischievous, playful, innovative and just as cute as could be! But what really made Kevin such a fine character was how he taught us the value of family. We learned that even if we're not always that crazy about the folks we live with, when we're separated from them, it's terrible. In both of the HOME ALONE movies, when Kevin was reunited with his family and ran into the ...
You may have heard about the three people who were trying to get into heaven. St. Peter asked the first, "Who's there?" "It's me, Jim Jones," the voice replied. St. Peter let him in. Then St. Peter asked the second one the same question, "Who's there?" "It's me, Sammy Smith," the voice replied. And St. Peter let him in. Finally he turns to the third, asking the same question, "Who's there?" "It is I, Ruth Randolph," answered the third. "Oh, great," muttered St. Peter. "Another one of those English teachers ...
A woman had quit work to stay home and take care of her new baby daughter. Countless hours of peekaboo and other games slowly took their toll. One evening she smacked her bare toes on the corner of a dresser and, grabbing her foot, sank to the floor. Her husband rushed to her side and asked where it hurt. She looked at her husband through her tear-filled eyes and managed to moan, "It's the piggy that ate the roast beef." (1) Another harried mother had three very active boys. One summer evening she was ...
Have you ever done anything really foolish? I mean, something so stupid that years later you still cringe when you think about it. Dr. James Dobson tells of a friend of his during their days in medical school. One day this man was walking across campus laden with books and briefcase. He passed by a fast food stand, and ordered something to eat and a milkshake to wash it down. He balanced it all on top of his briefcase and began looking for an empty table at which to sit. While looking, the milkshake got ...
In a technological society, we often need instructions for using new products. But where do they find the people to write these instructions? Some instructions are hopelessly vague while others seem totally unnecessary to anyone with even minimal brain power. For example: On a camera were these instructions: “This camera only works when there is film inside.” Well, duh! Big surprise there. These thoughts were found on a package of airline peanuts: “Open packet and eat contents.” Do they really think we ...
Little Jonathan came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious he’d been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was patching him up, he asked Jonathan what happened. “Well, Dad,” said Jonathan, “You know Eddie--that boy who’s always giving me a hard time. I challenged him to a duel. And I gave him his choice of weapons.” His father said, “that seems fair.” “I know,” Jonathan said, “but I never thought he’d choose his big sister!” Conflict is part of life. ...
Have you ever noticed that grown men can act like little children at times? Every woman in the house is nodding her head. Notice our lesson from the Gospel for today. It begins with some words with which we have become familiar: "They went on from there and passed through Galilee. [Jesus] did not want anyone to know it . . ." There it is again. The stealth Messiah, quietly going about his business, trying to stay out of the public eye. This time Mark provides us with an explanation: ". . . for he was ...
Pastor Kent Crockett tells a powerful story in his book, I Once Was Blind, But Now I Squint. Years ago Kent and his wife Cindy recorded many of their family highlights using an 8mm home movie camera. Some of you are too young to even know about 8mm film. Others of you took your first home movies with them. They were silent, and the picture wasn't very sharp. But they were sufficient to capture some of the important moments in your life. Kent and Cindy collected years of precious memories on numerous spools ...
Since this is an election year I thought you might enjoy a story about William Allen White. White was a famous Kansas newspaper editor and journalist. He was also an ardent Republican. As part of his job as a reporter, however, he once had to attend a state convention of the Democratic Party. "I fail to see any clergyman here," said the presiding chairman, "so I shall call on Mr. William Allen White to open the convention with prayer." White rose and replied, "You will have to excuse me. I am not up to ...
The soloist had laryngitis. The flower girl was ill with pneumonia. The ring bearer had an accident in his blue-velvet pants just before the ceremony, and the mother-of-the-bride left her dress at home by mistake. Things continued to go downhill after the ceremony. It was the coldest day in Maryland in 20 years The newlyweds, Melissa and Tim Donnelly, had borrowed a 1941 Cadillac to ride away in. It got stuck in the ice in the church parking lot, so Melissa stuffed her gown into the back seat of a two-door ...
In his book, ON A WILD AND WINDY MOUNTAIN, William H. Willimon tells of being in New Haven, Connecticut as a student at Yale in l970 during the famous Black Panther Trial. Those of you who remember that turbulent era recall the strife, discord and agony that tormented our society. During the week that the crisis at New Haven reached its peak, Willimon attended a choral mass at a nearby Catholic Parish. A boy's choir was singing, "Deus Ascendit, "God Has Gone Up." Willimon mused, "Just as I thought. God Has ...
Have you ever heard the little poem that goes something like this? Two prisoners there were who looked through bars, One saw mud, the other saw stars. Two basic attitudes toward life. What do you see when you look at life? Do you see mud? Or do you see stars? Of course, a lot of what we see is relative. A man went to his rabbi and complained, "Life is unbearable. There are nine of us living in one room. What can I do?" The rabbi answered, "Bring your goat to live in the room with you." The man was ...
You have to wonder what kind of God some people have! Kathryn Lindskoog has suffered for two decades with multiple sclerosis (MS), a chronic disease that gradually weakens and paralyzes the body. She has been amazed at some of the advice she has received from friends and relatives. A few typical examples: "You must really like to be sick; you bring so much of it on yourself." That comment was from a nearby relative who never so much as sent a get-well card. "The reason I have perfect health is that I think ...
The Kingdom of God was the main emphasis of Jesus’ ministry and this is accepted by most. But defining precisely what the Kingdom was is a bit more difficult. Indeed, even Jesus himself was often elusive about it. He did not speak in absolutes; rather, he spoke in parables. Such is our scripture text for this morning. Jesus compared the Kingdom to a sower going out and spreading seed. Some of it falls upon hard ground and is unable to take root. Some of it falls on shallow ground, and although it initially ...
SUBJECT: Exhaustion, spiritual nourishment, church CHARACTERS: Waiter, Man SETTING: Diner PROPS: Table and chairs, coffee pot and coffee cup, plate with some food, apron for waiter Waiter: "Hey, what can I get you?" Man: "Burger and a cup of coffee, please." Waiter: "You got it." Man: "Oh, and keep the refills coming." Waiter: "Whatever you say." (Waiter brings him burger and coffee. Man gulps down the coffee and motions for more) Man: "Refill, please." Waiter: "You must have a late ...