A man wrote in to the "Clean Laughs" online board with this story: "I was in my wills and trusts course when the professor posed this question to the students: Why do people choose to have their children, rather than their siblings, inherit their estate? "After students offered various theories, one fellow raised his hand. "˜This may be a bit off the point,' he said, "˜but when I was little, when my brother and sister finished playing with me, they would put me into a drawer.'" (1) Most of us can relate to ...
The plot of a recent Tom Hanks' movie, The Terminal, sounds so outrageous that it is hard to believe that it is based on a true story. In 1986, an Iranian man named Merhan Karimi Nasseri flew to Paris, France, without his immigration card or other proper paperwork. He never should have been allowed to board the plane without the paperwork, but somehow it was overlooked. Without his papers, the French authorities could not let him into the country, but they could not deport him either. So they forced him to ...
There was a news story a couple years back in The Associated Press about a novel experiment by the University of Minnesota to foil Christmas tree thieves. It seems that the year before the university lost seven evergreens to poachers. So the university began spraying balsam fir, Scotch pine and anything that could pass for a holiday tree with skunk scent. Yes, I said skunk scent. For years, according to this report, Christmas tree thieves have been sawing down trees in the middle of the night. But in 2002 ...
Strange parable. Great beginning; catastrophic ending. Yet I find myself drawn to the hapless wedding guest because nobody else is. The first sermon I ever heard in a Nazarene Church was when I was in high school. Pastor Roy Hoover preached on this wretched wedding guest. It so chilled me out that I didn’t go back for a year. I’ve never forgotten it. I’ve never heard one on it since! When preachers come to this miserable fellow, like the Jews of old meeting a leper on the road, they give him a wide berth. ...
A pollster was taking a survey of how much of people''s income goes to different kinds of spending. The person being interviewed said, "I spend 40 percent of my income on housing, 20 percent on clothing, 40 percent on food, and 20 percent on transportation and amusement." The pollster said, "But sir, that adds up to 120 percent." The reply was, "I know it!" Some of us, when the credit card bills come due, are probably discovering that we are spending at least 100 percent of our income. As one man put it, " ...
SUBJECT: Thanksgiving CHARACTERS: Turkey (extremely arrogant, but trying to appear modest) PROPS: Turkey costume (could wear drab brown clothing and pin paper feathers to your tail) SETTING: Not particular Good morning. I''m glad to see all of you here on this great day of celebration. It''s so important that we all acknowledge this blessed occasion, and I feel personally honored by your presence here. Yes, any nation that takes a full day to honor us turkeys is a proud and godly nation. I''m sure ...
Judas Iscariot has always been an enigma to us. One preacher, writing many years ago said, “No minister, at the time of his ordination, ever entertained more pleasing prospects for a brilliant career than had Judas Iscariot.” For one thing, Judas was given a good name. The names Judas means “praise of God.” One of the eleven sons of Jacob bore that name. So did one of the brothers of Jesus; the one who, by tradition, wrote the book of Jude in the New Testament. He was probably named after one of the most ...
When the Revised Standard Version of the Bible was first published in 1952, a pastor in North Carolina was so disturbed by the new translation that he gathered up all the copies he could find and had a public Bible-burning. What upset the pastor so much was that while the King James Version of John 14:2 says, “In my father’s house there are many mansions,” the RSV translates it “In my Father’s house are many rooms.” The North Carolina pastor was infuriated at the “cheapskates” who translated the RSV. He ...
In Ludington, Michigan, there is a street called “No Name Street.” I don’t know why. Perhaps the city planner simply ran out of names when they got to this one. Perhaps there was a comedian in the crowd. But how would you like to live on “No name street”? Imagine explaining that to the IRS! I. NAMES ARE FUNNY THINGS. My own name, which seems so simple to me, is often mispronounced. They want to call it Strobie. When they do, I tell them that I am a minister and each Sunday I get to wear a “robie.” I ...
At the end of the first chapter of the Acts of the Apostles, there is a curious story of how the eleven remaining apostles filled the vacancy in the band of the Twelve left by Judas’ suicide. The record says that the choice came down to two: a man named “Joseph, called Barsabas, who was surnamed Justus, and Matthias. And they cast lots for them, and the lot fell on Matthias; and he was enrolled with the eleven apostles.” (Acts 1:23, 26) But Matthias was never heard from again! Evidently some sort of ...
I am curious about people who send messages out to the world on bumper stickers. I have seen bumpers so covered with stickers that there wasn’t much bumper left. The cars usually look as though the bumper stickers might be holding the bumper itself together! I am afraid that someday I will be so busy reading the darn things that I will forget to stop and go crashing into the car ahead of me. I wonder if the policeman who arrives at the scene will accept the excuse, “But officer, I was only trying to read ...
David Heller is a young Boston psychologist who, as part of a continuing research interest, collects letters children have written to God. “Dear God: Children’s Letters to God” (New York: Doubleday, 1987) is Heller’s second publication on this subject. In it he reports the following letter: “Dear God, I have doubts about you sometimes. Sometimes I really believe. Like when I was four and I hurt my arm and you healed it up fast. But my question is, if you could do this why don’t you stop all the bad in the ...
I am indebted to my son-in-law, the Rev. Frank Lyman, pastor of Lake Harbor United Methodist Church in Muskegon for my opening story. It seems that there was an unusual story on radio station WGN awhile back. A fellow sat down and ate 874 Walleye minnows at one sitting. That’s a lot of Walleye minnows! Why did he do such a strange thing? Because earlier in his life he had sat down and eaten 862 Walleye minnows and his accomplishment was listed in the Guinness Book of World Records. So he set out to break ...
The ability to communicate correctly with each other is one of the greatest challenges of our time. Our inability to communicate is sometimes at the heart of many of our greatest and most serious problems. We mis-communicate with each other when we don''t say or don''t hear what we really need to say or hear. I''m reminded of the story of the older couple who lived in the mountains. One evening the old gentleman was feeling rather romantic, and he complimented his wife and said, "I''m proud of you, Ma." ...
I have been overwhelmed with all the material and insights that one can find in the eleventh chapter of the Book of Hebrews. I want to examine the first seven verses of this magnificent book along with the passage that we read from the Gospel of Luke 17:1-6. Both of these passages deal with an ingredient that is fundamental to the understanding and practicing of what we call "Christian faith." Would you like to have greater faith in God? The Disciples did. They were honest and forthright, and they asked ...
Somewhere in the west, a recent university graduate could not find employment. He was highly skilled and his grades had been excellent. But no employment was to be found. Finally, in disgust and anger, he mailed his diploma back to the president of the university from which he had graduated. "Take this thing back," he wrote. "It has done me absolutely no good. There are no guarantees in a college degree any more." The president read his note, and mailed the diploma back to the young man with these words: " ...
Over the last two weeks we've looked at the first chapter of James and discussed the author''s instructions on Triumphing Over Troubles and Tripping Up the Tempter. Today we continue in our examination of the book of James with verses 5-11 in Chapter one--learning how to Track the Truth and Trust it. James bases his instruction on the realization that the average person tends to turn to God as a last resource in trying to discern truth, rather than at the beginning of the process. He writes in verse 5, "If ...
For those in our church family who have not been able to be with us these past three Sundays, we are in the midst of a Lenten sermon series using the imagery of Fasting and Feasting to draw closer to the will of God and to draw closer to Christ by having a closer walk with Him. By using the Word of God and appropriate stories of faith and illustrations, I have urged us and guided us to fast those attitudes, values, words, and lifestyles that are an insult to the Holiness of God, and because there is now a ...
Good Friday is not an easy day on which to preach, nor is what happened on Good Friday easy to explain. Many thoughtful Christians have a difficult time understanding how this very bad day in the life of Christ has become for Christians a good day. What's more, many find it perplexing to say that Jesus died for their sins because he died some 2,000 years before they were born. Then perhaps most perplexing of all are those theories of atonement that come to us in the New Testament, theories steeped in a ...
When I was in college my post office box was right next to a pretty little blonde's. She was a tanned Florida Freshman, if you know what I mean. And her name was Sally. Now John, a fellow on my hall, was secretly in love with Sally. And he kept trying to get me to switch post office boxes with him. That way he could be close to Sally. You see, John was painfully shy. Though he longed to know Sally, he couldn't muster the nerve to ask her out. So, he secretly loved her at a distance. Once he rode a bus four ...
Just a few days ago we greeted loved ones and friends with a cheery, "Happy New Year." And we sincerely hoped it would be a year of joy and happiness for all. A New Year's card put it beautifully: "I am the New Year -- all that I have I give with love unspoken. All that I ask -- you keep the faith unbroken!" Newspapers and magazines covered the fascinating story of Admiral Richard Byrd's second trip to the South Pole. The 180th meridian is an imaginary but important marker. It is the International Date ...
No one ever really prepares you for your first theological bull session. Usually it arrives without fanfare or advance warning. Usually it happens long before you enter the relative clear-headedness of your adult years, or before you take that philosophy course in college. Usually it happens when you're a junior high school student, up late with friends at a sleepover, or camping out in somebody's backyard. There's just something about a smoky fire and charred food and stars out overhead that turns twelve- ...
Security has become big business in our world. Burglar and smoke alarms are wired directly from private homes to police and fire stations. Automobiles give forth major noises in the parking lots of shopping malls because some owner has inadvertently pushed the wrong button on a key pad. High school students walk through metal detectors to enter their school buildings. Even business phones and credit cards are "protected" by a user's password or "PIN" number. So pervasive is the concern for security that a ...
Now will you hear the word of the Lord as you find it in the 5th chapter of Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians. The 5th chapter of the second letter to the Corinthians, beginning with the 14th and continuing through the 21st verses, the end of the chapter. This is the word of the Lord. “For the love of Christ controls us, because we are convinced that one has died for all, therefore, all have died. And he died for all that those who live might live no longer for themselves, but for him who, for their ...
Our reading this morning is the first eight verses of the 12th chapter of Romans. This is that marvelous beginning section of Romans, when Paul, having made his theological statement, having spelled out in a very clear and beautiful way his whole understanding of justification by faith, comes now to offer those practical instructions that we are to receive if we’re going to live the Christian life. This is the word of the Lord. “I appeal to you therefore brothers and sisters by the mercies of God, that you ...