... . Ole Olsen was coming from a lake with a fish pail and pole. The Swede asked, "Where you bin, Ole?" "Vot you tink I bin? Fishin’!" "Tell you vot, Ole, if I guess how many fish you got in dat pail, how about givin’ me von of dem?" The other said, "You guess how many fish in dat pail, and I give you both of dem." The Swede thinks and guesses, "Five!" Ole thinks and says, "Sorry. You missed it by two." Nor is wisdom knowledge or education. A person can be wise and yet not be a graduate of grade school. On ...
... would you expect these words of Jesus to have been spoken? "Now is the Son of man glorified, and in him God is glorified." Stress the "now" in the sentence so that your guessing is almost pinpointed to an instant in time, for the word seems to have been deliberately chosen to designate the time of the "glorifying." What’s your guess? Is it immediately after a great miracle? Is it one of the first things he says after his Resurrection? Is it a response to a great confession of faith that has been made ...
... . Two: Sometimes big things are found in little packages. Let’s give it a chance. One: According to the calculations, we should take ten paces due east. Three: [paces ten steps and looks up] It’s just a house, and it doesn’t even have a sun deck. Two: I guess you’re right. We won’t even get our money back on this trip. One: Well, remember I’m the one who had to mortgage his house to come up with my share of the money. Three: It was also your hairbrained scheme that got us started in the first ...
... with me. I like to argue about evolution and the Bible and miracles, especially that wild one about God opening and closing the Red Sea. Wow! That’s a winner. Great for a good debate anyway. Funny thing about that. People really do like to talk about that stuff. I guess I do, too, but I don’t lose any sleep over it. "May he not suffer your foot to slip, may he who keeps you not slumber! Behold, he who keeps Israel does neither slumber nor sleep." Now, that’s the kind of God I would like: somebody who ...
... like a joke - me, a murderer, robber, and rebel, with that name, Son of the Father? I doubt that God thought of me as his son. I guess I didn’t think of him much as my Father, either. Come to think of it, I hadn’t given much thought to God at all for ... . I didn’t think that it was fair at all, to put me beside Jesus. I didn’t think I had a prayer of a chance. I guess maybe Pilate thought so, too. But let me tell you what a surprise we had. When Pilate asked the crowd, "Which of these two do you want ...
... born in a stable. Phoebe: Would angels lie? Martha: The devil’s angels would. Phoebe: But the shepherds said it was such a glorious sight. Even when one angel appeared to them, the fields seemed bathed in light. Would angels of darkness do that? Martha: I guess not. I hope not. Phoebe: And they talked about the angels singing. Not just one or two; but thousands upon thousands upon thousands of angels singing, "Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace, goodwill to men." It seemed all of the heavens ...
... dangerous step, considering you could get drafted into the army. I think you’re right - a war is coming and Germany will see a lot of killing before it’s over. I don’t know if getting married will keep you out of the army or not. I guess I have to congratulate you for marrying Elsa so that the Hitler Youth would not persuade her to have children for the government without even getting married at all. I suppose that really is what she was encouraged to do when she went to that youth rally at Nuremberg ...
... the house, crying. She had seen the golden roses and other flowers and was very sad. She wanted to know why all those lovely growing things were now frozen into pieces of gold. She cried and cried. Well, King Midas took her into his arms and guess what happened, boys and girls? (Let them answer.) That's right. His lovely daughter turned into gold -- a pretty golden statue! Midas couldn't believe his eyes! He had lost his only daughter because he was so greedy. Then other bad things happened to Midas. When ...
... which he or she is not prepared. Sometimes when we are not prepared or when something just doesn't feel right or we simply don't want to do something, we will go to desperate extremes. I wonder if the prophet Jonah thought of calling in a bomb threat? I guess not. First of all, of course, there were no telephones. And for that matter there were no bombs. These were simpler times, but the problems were the same as today. They all had their root in human nature. JONAH'S PROBLEM WAS HE DIDN'T WANT TO DO WHAT ...
... , but rather the person who found in the town, the school, the synagogue and the community something more than anyone else found there. Jesus captured from His environment all the values it offered and then enriched it with His own insight. "Nevertheless, who would have guessed that the faith and hope of Christendom would have come out of Nazareth? Who, for that matter, would have dreamed that the age of air travel would be born in Kitty Hawk, a place nobody ever heard of until the Wright brothers made it ...
... beside the bed. "I better get a move on. Don't want the boss to get upset. It's not like I've got another job waiting. I'm 45 now. With a big mortgage. Just as long as the boss doesn't ask me to do anything illegal, I guess I can hang in there. It's not so bad. Maybe Joan is right. I've got a good deal. Why rock the boat? It doesn't seem to bother anyone else; why should it bother me?" Still he felt like Rev. Bowater was looking right at him Sunday morning ...
... farmer wasn't going to take no for an answer. He stopped the truck and grabbed his shotgun from the rack in back. He pointed the gun at the lad and roared, "I said, take a drink!" "Okay! Okay!" said the young man. "I've changed my mind! I guess I will have some after all." The young man took a few swallows before he realized how powerful the stuff was. His throat muscles tightened, his eyes watered, and he made a choking sound. "What do you think of it?" asked the farmer. "Good, ain't it?" "Yeah," gasped ...
... here?" he asked as he stepped onto the red scum, and immediately he went out of sight into the baptistry! True story. I guess the message is that people can't walk on water! Not ordinary people anyway! Now, those of you who are sports fans may ... the next Monday as usual. Her parents drove her. When she got to school, Nikki hugged and kissed both her parents. Then she said, "Mom and Dad, guess what I'm going to do today?" Her eyes began to tear up. "Today I'm going to find out who my best friend is. Today ...
... students protest that there is no "right answer"; a person's favorite song is purely a matter of taste. Belynskyj, who holds a Ph.D. in philosophy from Notre Dame asks, "When you decide what to believe in terms of your faith, is that more like guessing the number of beans, or more like choosing your favorite song?" Always, Belynskyj says, from old as well as young, he gets the same answer: Choosing one's faith is more like choosing a favorite song. Stafford writes that when Belynskyj told him this, it took ...
... hand on my shoulder. I looked out of the corner of my eye and saw that beard and saw that face. "Oh, boy!" said the old man. "That minister stared at me and looked at me and stared at me, and I thought, 'Oh, no. Oh, no. He's gonna guess.' He said, 'Well boy, you're a child of ah . . . You're a child of ah . . . Ah, wait.' And the preacher said, 'You're a child of God. I see a strikin' resemblance!' He swatted me on the bottom and said, 'Go claim your inheritance, boy!'" Fred Craddock said he ...
... . A variety of answers would ring out. "I think it's about 72 inches wide." "No, I believe it's more like 68 inches wide." "Looks like 75 to me." "I'm going to guess 74 inches." Then some wise guy from the back of the room would say "71 and 5/16" and everyone would laugh. Then Dean Smith would say, "These are all pretty good guesses, but one of them is more nearly true than the others. Now, how do we determine which one is most accurate? How do we decide which answer is most nearly right?" There would be ...
... “in order that He might bring us to God!” Hallelujah! But the story does not end there. Peter goes on to declare, “Having been put to death in the flesh, he has been made alive in the spirit” (I Peter 3:18). Made alive in the Spirit? Well I guess! Up from the grave he arose, With a mighty triumph o’er his foes, He arise a victor o’er the dark domain, And he lives forever with his saints to reign. He arose . . . Hallelujah, Christ arose!” I thought I had died and gone to heaven when my pastor ...
... ! How are you?" 2: "Tired. It''s been a long morning." 1: "I bet! The Christmas season is never easy." (Girl walks up and hands the clerks an item) Girl: "Excuse me. I just wanted to turn this in. I found it in the food court. I guess somebody just left it there." 2: "Thank you very much. The owner will appreciate your turning it in." (Girl smiles and walks off) 1: "So, what have we got today?" 2: "Oh, you wouldn''t believe some of the things that''ve been turned in! There are ...
... suppose proved to be neighbor to the man who had fallen among thieves?” One can imagine the questioner, looking down at his toes, dancing back and forth, balancing on the ball of one foot and then the other, and finally having to respond, “Uh, why, I guess the one who showed mercy to him.” And Jesus replied, “You go and do likewise.” In other words, my neighbor is anyone to whom I can be a neighbor: regardless of race, color, or creed. In our Scripture we have our Lord practicing what he preached ...
... anyone with them except Jesus. If the disciples needed any confirmation that Jesus was the Christ, the Son of the living God, this was it. “. . . a cloud appeared . . . and a voice came from the cloud: ‘This is my Son, whom I love. Listen to him!’” My guess is that they listened to him more intensely than they had ever listened before. They were afraid. Even Peter did not know what to say. They were in the presence not only of greatness, but of divinity. Maybe you and I would listen more intently to ...
... yard. Some of his friends had brought shovels and were helping him. After they finished the hole, the man and his friends began carrying pails of water to fill it. At 3:00 p.m. the pastor came and buried the young man in the waters of baptism. (1) My guess is that young man was ready. There are many forms of baptism in the Christian community, but we all agree on one thing: Baptism is at the heart of what it means to be a Christian. In the Gospel of Luke we read these words, “Now when all the people ...
... in order to fulfill God’s call. In one of her e-mails (October 4, 2000) she wrote: I encourage you to let God take you deeper in prayer and intimacy. I know these are the “Christian catch phrases” these days. But…well…it’s the truth. I guess my prayer for you is that you would go deeper with Jesus, that you would let Him wash through you like a rushing river, cleansing, soothing, filling you in every good way. Intimacy…just more of Jesus. That place where you utter a prayer and in an instant ...
... picked up the ax and went to work. He, not only cut a large pile of wood, but also carried the firewood into the house and arranged it neatly by the fireplace. He had scarcely left when a house servant said to the woman…“I guess you didn’t recognize him, ma’am… but that was Professor Washington!” Embarrassed and red-faced, the woman hurried over to Tuskegee Institute to apologize. Booker T. Washington replied: “There’s no need to apologize, madam. I’m delighted to do favors for my friends ...
... and flamboyant imagery, the battle of sin and the conflict with evil, the book ends in triumph and joy. It ends with a wedding…and guess what? We are going to be the bride! There's going to be a wedding, and we will all be there, all dressed up in ... I mean you to be." Lucy said, "We are so afraid of being sent away again." "No fear of that," said Aslan. "Have you not guessed? There really was a railway accident. Your father and mother and all of you are—as you used to call it in the Shadowlands—dead. ...
... many broken hearts would be mended, how many tears dried if we cared enough to notice and to share a bit of genuine love. It's too bad that more love can be generated by a puppy wagging its tail to cheer one up than what we do. But I guess that's the way it is with dogs! What about us?" James provides us with a significant challenge — to actualize the second half of the Golden Rule. We are called to live an active faith by seeking to accept all. Moreover, we are told to have a preferential option for ...