Sermon and Worship Resources

Antonyms: keep, claim, continue, stick by, self-control, power through, achieve, defend, bear, hope, acquire, quick visit, adopt, continue along, adhere, remain, pursue, support, take up, keep up, reuse, advocate, stay, persevere, cherish, keep going, carry on

Showing 1051 to 1075 of 1409 results

1051. Tools of Inspection

Illustration

Evangelist Fred Brown used three images to describe the purpose of the law. First he likened it to a dentist's little mirror, which he sticks into the patient's mouth. With the mirror he can detect any cavities. But he doesn't drill with it or use it to pull teeth. It can show him the decayed area or other abnormality, but it can't provide the solution. Brown then drew another analogy. He said that the law is also like a flashlight. If suddenly at night the lights go out, you use it to guide you down the ...

1052. How to Stay at the Top

Illustration

Staff

Stephen Stumph of N.Y. Univ's graduate School of Management, has identified six major skills needed at the top once you get there. They are: Having a vision. Executives must fashion a vision of what the company can be, champion that view and get employees behind it. Managing rivalry. A CEO should not try to eliminate competition between subordinates and sub-units entirely, because it can be positive. Thoroughly knowing the products, customers, and competition. Maintaining a consistent strategy. The best ...

1053. An Adhesive Bond

Illustration

When talking to teens, Dr. Richard Dobbins would often draw an analogy between the bonding capacity of the body and adhesive tape. Adhesive tape is not made for repetitive use. The strongest bond adhesive tape is capable of making is formed with the first surface to which it is applied. You can remove the tape and reapply it to other surfaces several times, and it will still adhere. However, with every application, some of the adhesiveness has been compromised. Finally, if you continue the practice long ...

1054. 2020 Vision

Illustration

Staff

According to the market-research group Nielsen, adults spend over 11 hours per day interacting with media. That's up from 9 hours and 32 minutes just four years ago. Of that 11 hours, 4 hours and 46 minutes are spent watching TV. According to an oft-cited report by Common Sense Media, teens spend an average of 9 hours per day interacting with media, not including time spent for school or homework. For kids ages 8-12, the same Common Sense Media survey report found that they spent 6 hours per day ...

1055. Christmas Is a God-Thing

Luke 1:26-38

Sermon

King Duncan

There was a story years ago in the Canadian version of the Reader’s Digest of a large moose that wandered into a residential area in Calgary, Canada. The moose ended up on the lawn of a lady named Lorna Cade. A Fish and Wildlife officer was dispatched to try to coax the magnificent animal back into the wild. After two hours of absolutely no progress, the officer finally shot the moose with a tranquilizer dart. The moose bolted down a lane and eventually collapsed on another nearby lawn. The reporters who ...

1056. Matthew 25:1-13

Matthew 25:1-13

Sweet

Leonard Sweet

Some things never change. Like weddings and funerals (which some wag once said were the same except at weddings you smell your own flowers). Jesus’ wedding parable in this week’s gospel reading describes a situation where things don’t go quite according to plan. We don’t know a great deal about all the particulars involved in a first century Jewish wedding. But like twenty-first century weddings, things never run right on schedule. Delays and minor “disasters” are the norm, it seems, across the centuries. ...

1057. Why Is Your Hair White?

Humor Illustration

One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her dark brunette hair. She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then asked, "Momma, ...

1058. How's Business?

Humor Illustration

Some of you can sympathize with the owner of a small motel in a sparsely populated area in the southwest. A recent graduate of a prestigious business school, eager to show off his new knowledge, was staying in the motel. "How's business?" he asked the owner. "Not very good," the tired looking man answered. "Well, what's your next step?" asked the business major. "What's your plan to rectify the situation?" "Well," said the owner drily, "I've never made enough in this business to stick with it, but I've ...

1059. I'll Make the Pictures

Humor Illustration

I've had many fine cinematographers film my movies, but I was never lucky enough to do a picture with James Wong Howe. He was one of the best cameramen in Hollywood, and this Chinese-American was acclaimed for his work on scores of films, including the classic "Casablanca." He won several Academy Awards, including one for the Paul Newman picture "Hud." While he was under contract to Warner Brothers, he decided to open a Chinese restaurant on Ventura Boulevard, near the studio. He was always interested in ...

1060. Tag! You're It!

Humor Illustration

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8-year-old again. I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks. I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them. I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day. I want to return to a time when life was simple. ...

1061. The Timid Bank Robber

Humor Illustration

You may have heard the story about a man whose farm was failing, whose wife needed surgery, and whose bills were past due. The banks wouldn't lend him a cent. He decided to take a shortcut. He decided to rob a bank. He knew it was wrong but he was desperate. He tried to gain enough courage. He paced back and forth in front of the bank. He had a bag for the teller to put the money in and a pistol with which to frighten her. Finally he decided to do it. Shakily, he walked into the bank, rushed right up to a ...

1062. Too Polite for Words

Illustration

Nicholas D. Kristoff

There was an amusing story in the New York Times Magazine. It was about a Japanese woman who was recounting a meeting with a man whom she abruptly described using the English word "jerk." The person writing the story asked her how to say "jerk" in Japanese. "There's no such word," the woman answered helplessly. "We have to use [the English word] jerk.''" It's not as if there are no jerks in Japan. But the Japanese language is just not made for sniping at people. Guess what Japanese drivers say to each ...

1063. Multi-Purpose WD-40

Humor Illustration

Sure, WD-40 works on squeaky metal parts, rusty tools and other things. But have you heard of any of these other uses that its fanatical followers swear are true? Masks human scent on fishing lures. Frees tongues that get stuck to frozen metal in winter. Removes gum, Silly Putty, and crayons from hair, carpeting, walls, and floors. Soothes arthritis. Stops shoes from squeaking. Cures mange on pets. Frees pets and children from that sticky mouse and cockroach trap paper. According to a man in Washington ...

1064. The Invention of Velcro

Humor Illustration

"I find your story in last Monday's Chronicle about the invention of Velcro highly unlikely. I have been told by a reputable source that Velcro is derived from the hide of Velcros, distant relatives to the Naugas. But now that Velcro has become such a lucrative commodity, the Velcros are threatened with extinction. The wholesale slaughter of these helpless animals compounds the already difficult situation Velcros face in the wild. They easily stick to things, and during mating become literally stuck on one ...

1065. Slam the Door Shut

Humor Illustration

There is a terrible story about two young Mormon missionaries who were going door to door. They knocked on the door of one woman who was not at all happy to see them. The woman told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, almost magically bounced back open. She tried again, really putting her back into it and slammed the door again with the same amazing result the door bounced ...

1066. Peanut Butter & Lonely Sandwich

Humor Illustration

In the play You're A Good Man Charlie Brown, Charlie Brown explains why he hates lunchtime: I think lunchtime is about the worst time of the day for me. Always having to sit here alone. Of course, sometimes mornings aren't so pleasant, either waking up and wondering if anyone would really miss me if I never got out of bed. Then there's the night, too lying there and thinking about all the stupid things I've done during the day. And all those hours in between when I do all those stupid things. Well, ...

1067. Cellophane Prison

Humor Illustration

Mrs. Billie Cannon a Knoxville, Tennessee homemaker was preparing to paint her back porch. In order to protect the floor, she very carefully placed around the edges a strip of tape the kind with adhesive on both sides. It was her plan to place a drop cloth over the floor and secure it with the tape. Having succeeded in placing the tape around the entire surface, she went back inside the house to get a drop cloth. Returning to the porch sometime later, she found that all of her carefully placed tape was ...

1068. An Implied Kiss

Humor Illustration

A farm boy and a pretty girl were walking down the road one evening. In one hand the boy carried a cane, in the other a chicken, he had a pail on his back and was leading a goat. Soon they came to a long dark lane. The girl held back and said, "I'm afraid to walk through there with you because you might try to kiss me." The boy looked at her and said, "How in the world could I do that with all the stuff I'm carrying?" "Well, you might stick the cane in the ground, tie the goat to it, and put the chicken ...

1069. Protecting the Arm

Humor Illustration

A young boy who had just been vaccinated. The doctor was getting ready to put a stick-on bandage on his arm. "Please put it on the other arm," the boy pleaded. "Why do that?" the doctor asked. "This will let everyone know you have been vaccinated and they won't hit your sore arm." "Please put it on my other arm! Please!" the boy said. "You don't know those kids at school."

1070. Let Him Fly

Humor Illustration

I think prayer meetings were killed in a lot of churches by the same people praying the same monotonous prayers week after week. You might remember the story of the old fellow who prayed every Wednesday night at his prayer meeting, "O Lord, for the wings of a dove that I might fly away and be at rest." Every prayer meeting night it was that same prayer. A younger member of the group could no longer bear it. One night he muttered under his breath just as the fellow had finished praying that same prayer for ...

1071. Alabama Humor for Tennesseans

Humor Illustration

A Knoxville sports writer wrote this column before a Tennessee/Alabama game. It's all in fun. You could substitute the name of your favorite rival. I hope Alabama readers will forgive me for including it those that can read, anyway. You know the best thing to come out of Alabama? Interstate 59. We got word this week that Tide coach will dress only 18 players for today's game. The rest can dress themselves. When you run across an Alabamian today, don't tell him you know why it takes two Alabamians to eat a ...

1072. A Total Loss

Humor Illustration

An insurance agent filed this claim on behalf of one of his clients: "The Insured operates a dude ranch and we insure all of his ranch buildings and his pickup truck. He had been having trouble with coyotes and had rigged up an ingenious sapling cage trap to catch the animals, after which he would shoot them. This time he decided to try something different, and instead of shooting the coyote, he tied a stick of dynamite to its neck and lit the fuse, opening the cage door at the same time. The coyote ...

1073. The Four Scents of Adventing

Mark 1:1-8

Sermon

Leonard Sweet

A traditional accounting of the number of “senses” the human body registers is five: sight, sound, touch, taste and smell. We now know there are between 9 and 21 actual senses, depending on who’s counting. But still there are five main ones, and two biggies in the five: sight and sound. Even those of us with poor vision and tin ears still rely heavily on sight and sound to get around. Taste and touch are less obviously used, but absolutely necessary. Our sense of touch keeps us from absent-mindedly leaning ...

1074. Questions That Puzzle Me

Humor Illustration

Puzzling Questions: Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out ...

1075. Recharging Your Batteries

Mt 6:1-4

Illustration

King Duncan

An Italian newspaper recently carried a story about a young couple in Milan who seemed particularly devoted in their worship. The priest at a cathedral there reported that the pair spent an hour or more on a regular basis sitting before a statue of the Virgin Mary. Naturally, he assumed they were praying. Turns out, this young couple was recharging their cell phone. They had noticed a stray electric cable sticking out of the wall behind the statue of the Virgin Mary. Whenever their phone's power supply ...

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Showing 1051 to 1075 of 1409 results

1051. Tools of Inspection

Illustration

1052. How to Stay at the Top

Illustration

Staff

1053. An Adhesive Bond

Illustration

1054. 2020 Vision

Illustration

Staff

1055. Christmas Is a God-Thing

Luke 1:26-38

Sermon

King Duncan

1056. Matthew 25:1-13

Matthew 25:1-13

Sweet

Leonard Sweet

1057. Why Is Your Hair White?

Humor Illustration

1058. How's Business?

Humor Illustration

1059. I'll Make the Pictures

Humor Illustration

1060. Tag! You're It!

Humor Illustration

1061. The Timid Bank Robber

Humor Illustration

1062. Too Polite for Words

Illustration

Nicholas D. Kristoff

1063. Multi-Purpose WD-40

Humor Illustration

1064. The Invention of Velcro

Humor Illustration

1065. Slam the Door Shut

Humor Illustration

1066. Peanut Butter & Lonely Sandwich

Humor Illustration

1067. Cellophane Prison

Humor Illustration

1068. An Implied Kiss

Humor Illustration

1069. Protecting the Arm

Humor Illustration

1070. Let Him Fly

Humor Illustration

1071. Alabama Humor for Tennesseans

Humor Illustration

1072. A Total Loss

Humor Illustration

1073. The Four Scents of Adventing

Mark 1:1-8

Sermon

Leonard Sweet

1074. Questions That Puzzle Me

Humor Illustration

1075. Recharging Your Batteries

Mt 6:1-4

Illustration

King Duncan

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