... the office scolded him, but his smile remained nonetheless. "This is a special coffee cake," he explained. "I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window was a host of goodies. I felt it was no accident, so I prayed, 'Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious coffee cakes, let there be a parking spot open right in front. 'And sure enough, the eighth time around the block, there it was!"
802. Parable of Staples and Stability
Hebrews 11:1-40
Illustration
"What is this thing, a gun?" said Billy. "That is a stapler. Don't you know what a stapler is?" said John. "No, what is it?" "It holds papers together like this." "I would like to have one," said Billy. "You don't need one," said John. "Well, I like to hold things together," said Billy. We all need to be held together by certain forces in our lives. Some people go all to pieces when any dividing force works on them. Religion plays a role similar to ...
803. A Diminishing Benediction
Illustration
William Goodin
A seminary president told me this story: When candidates are ordained into the ministry, they have one thing to do in the service. At the conclusion of the worship, the candidate stands, walks up the steps into the chancel, turns and gives the benediction. That is their first official act as an ordained pastor. One candidate stood, approached the steps, and ascended. But on the first step, ...
804. Difficult Sayings
John 6:56-69
Illustration
Brett Blair
... times, we all would like to walk away from the church and never come back. We want a God different from the one we find in Jesus. Flesh and blood? Yes. But demanding? No. Resurrected? Yes. But crucified? No. Salvation? Yes. Repentance? No. Love? Yes. Commitment? No. Unfortunately you cannot have one without the other. The rose comes with the thorns. The pains come with the birth. Night come with day. The best of times can only be lived because there are those times that are so bad.
805. Lead Us Not Into Temptation
Luke 4:1-13
Illustration
Lee Griess
... him, but his smile remained nonetheless."This is a special coffee cake," he explained. "I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window was a host of goodies. I felt it was no accident, so I prayed, 'Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious coffee cakes, let there be a parking spot open right in front.' And sure enough, the eighth time around the block, there it was!" All of us know what it is to enter the wilderness of temptation. Temptation is part and parcel of the ...
806. Hobbled by the Past
Luke 9:57-62
Illustration
King Duncan
William Goodin in his book God Laughs, Too tells a hilarious story that he heard from a seminary president. At this president's seminary, when candidates are ordained into the ministry, they have one thing to do in the service. At the conclusion of the worship, the candidate stands, walks up the steps into the chancel, turns and gives the benediction. That is their first official act as an ordained pastor. One candidate stood, approached the steps, and ascended the steps. But on the ...
... you see on tv. And even if you’re still waiting for your plants to produce, every optimistic gardener eagerly envisions the anticipated bounty that is to come. No matter what you are growing or how much you enjoy the “gardening,” we always have one eye looking forward to the final harvest. As he is just starting out on the journey portion of his ministry, the harvest is central to Jesus’ thoughts. In this week’s gospel text Luke describes a second great missionary enterprise Jesus initiates. In ...
808. God? Are You Really There?
Matthew 24:36-51
Illustration
Brett Blair
... to which Jimmy could relate. "A million years to me, Jimmy, is like a minute." "Oh," said Jimmy. "Well, then, what's a million dollars like to you?" "A million dollars to me, Jimmy, is like a penny." "Wow!" remarked Jimmy, getting an idea. "You're so generous... can I have one of your pennies?" God replied, "Sure thing, Jimmy! Just a minute."
809. One Final Song
Illustration
... surgeon found it difficult to answer his question. He simply shook his head no. The patient then asked if he could sit up for a moment. "I've had many good times singing the praises of God," he said. "And now you tell me I can never sing again. I have one song that will be my last. It will be of gratitude and praise to God." There in the doctor's presence the man sang softly the words of Isaac Watts' hymn, "I'll praise my Maker while I've breath, And when my voice is lost in death, Praise shall ...
810. God Breaks into Our Lives
Mark 9:2-9
Illustration
King Duncan
William Boggs' grandfather played a very important role in his life. Grandpa Boggs had been blind for nearly twenty years. Grandpa would tell you quickly that the way the world was going he didn't much care to see it anyway. He did have one regret however. He had never seen his grandson. Sensing death closing in on him, William's grandfather began praying more intensely for the Lord to give him sight, just long enough to see his grandson before he died. The doctors had told him that it was an impossibility ...
If you have one eye on yesterday, and one eye on tomorrow, you're going to be cockeyed today.
... , bought in foreign country, and so forth.) No, the thing that is special about this clock is that it tells me the proper time only twice a day! You see, it doesn't run! Well, you say, what good is a clock that doesn't work? (Make sure you actually have one that doesn't run.) You see, this is my own special clock that I use when I want time to stand still. Suppose I want my birthday to last a long time or I'm late filing my tax return, or I'm enjoying a vacation, or any pleasant experience ...
... ') And do you know what kind of ring it was? Hold out the piece of coal Do you think she liked it? (No) Why not? (Because it's coal) Oh, you think it's coal. Well did you know that inside this coal is hold out the diamond if you have one is a diamond? You see, God takes ordinary coal like this. And over a long, long time the earth moves a little and it gets real hot, and after a while the coal becomes a diamond. Application: St. Paul once said that God takes very simple things and makes them ...
... don’t think that woke them up. I know what they need. They need this! Hold up the Coffee What is it? (response) That’s right. This is usually what adults need to wake them up. Continue this with the other items using the theme “waking up.” Application: I have one other thing to show to you. Hold up the Bible What is this? (response) Yes, it’s a Bible. What does this have to do with waking up? (response) The Bible is God’s word, right? Did you know that in the book of Isaiah, it tells us that God ...
817. Blessed Are the Cheese Makers
Matthew 5:1-12
Illustration
Brett Blair
Here is the infamous bit from Monty Pythons "Life of Brian." All great humor must have one essential element: Truth. This bit certainly has that. Jesus' words when misunderstood has lead to some pretty fantastic conclusions. And so, this is dedicated to all those knuckle headed interpretations throughout the years. There are two main characters in the bit who are called Trouble and Bignose. They are at ...
818. A Friend In Me
Illustration
... to compromise his integrity. So strong was this resolve that he once said, "I desire so to conduct the affairs of this administration that if at the end, when I come to lay down the reins of power, I have lost every other friend on earth, I shall at least have one friend left, and that friend shall be down inside of me."
819. It's Not Fair!
Humor Illustration
Lucy, in the PEANUTS comic strip, is furious because her misbehavior has caused her to lose the privilege of having a fancy birthday party. "You promised me a birthday party," she whines, "and now you say I can't have one. It's not fair!" Linus attempts to help her. "You're not using the right strategy," he tells her. "Why not go up to Mom and say to her, 'I'm sorry, dear Mother...I admit I've been bad, and you were right to cancel my party, but from ...
820. Paid In Bottle Tops
Humor Illustration
When a busload of people entered a large cafeteria, the group leader approached the manager. "Sir, I'm Mr. Harris of the Halfway House. These nice folks are former mental patients. They've all been cured, but they do have one small idiosyncrasy: they'll want to pay you in bottle tops. Now if you'll be so kind as to humor them in this way, I'll take care of the bill when they're through." The manager, wanting to be a good citizen, went along and collected the bottle ...
821. Love Is Everywhere
Illustration
Editor James S. Hewett
After eighteen months in the ministry, a pastor went to his file cabinet to pullout the "Love" file. He discovered he didn't have one. Impossible! It must be misfiled. He searched among Faith and Fasting, between Healing and Heaven. Perhaps it was sandwiched by Christology and Christian Ed. After all, these have to do with Love don't they? But it wasn't there, nor was it found after Money or ahead of Missions. ...
I desire to so conduct the affairs of this administration that if, at the end . . . I have lost every friend on earth, I shall have one friend left, and that friend shall be down inside me.
Women have one great advantage over men. It is commonly thought that if they marry they have done enough, and need career no further. If a man marries, on the other hand, public opinion is all against him if he takes this view.