... want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to raise hogs on? And what is the best breed of hogs not to raise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with all government policies. As I see it, the hardest part of the "NOT RAISING HOGS' program is keeping an accurate inventory of how many hogs I haven't raised. My friend Hansen is very joyful about the future of the business. He has been raising hogs for twenty years or so, and the best he has ever made on ...
4177. How Does a Father Do It?
Illustration
James Dobson
... yourself already doing something on the list. The mind doesn't distinguish between imagined and real success when it draws upon positive experiences, even imaginary ones, to reinforce good habits-in-the-making. Try imagining yourself combining work and family life in the ways listed below. Keep it simple. It is doesn't add to the happiness of your family, then change it. Set aside time after dinner to help your kids with their homework. Remember what you were like as a kid, and cut some slack for your kids ...
4178. The Final Dong
Illustration
Staff
... there's a final dong and it stops. I believe the same thing is true of forgiveness. When we forgive, we take our hand off the rope. But if we've been tugging at our grievances for a long time, we mustn't be surprised if the old angry thoughts keep coming for a while. They're just the ding-dongs of the old bell slowing down." "And so it proved to be. There were a few more midnight reverberations, a couple of dings when the subject came up in my conversations, but the force which was my willingness in the ...
4179. THINK Test
Illustration
Alan Redpath
During a mutual encouragement fellowship at a time of stress for some church pastorates, the members subscribed to a simple formula applied before speaking of any person or subject that was perhaps controversial. T Is it true? H Is it helpful? I Is it inspiring? N Is it necessary? K Is it kind? If what you are about to say does not pass those tests, you must pledge to keep your mouth shut! Doing that will work in keeping the gossip at bay.
4180. How to Stay at the Top
Illustration
Staff
... , suggests the most common mistakes: Trying to be liked rather than respected. Not asking your subordinates for their advice and help. Not developing a sense of responsibility in your subordinates, and not expecting it from your peers. Emphasizing rules rather than skills among your employees, and thwarting personal talent. Not keeping criticism constructive. Ignoring employee complaints. Keeping people uninformed not respecting their right to know.
4181. Life In a New Gear
Illustration
Staff
... it is climbing, the tappets clatter and ping to the point where one wonders if the old bus will make it to the top. The carburetor gets fouled with pollutants and other matter, making it hard to get started in the morning. It is hard to keep the radiator filled because of the leaking hose. The thermostat goes out, making it difficult to reach operating temperature. The headlights grow dim, and the horn gets weaker. The memory chip drops a few bytes, and the battery needs constant recharging. But if the body ...
4182. Just Getting Started
Illustration
Staff
... old age." Even as Jesus kept the "best wine" for the last at the wedding in Cana (John 2:10), so He seeks to gather the most luscious clusters of the fruit of the Spirit from the fully ripened harvest of our lives. You may be sure God wouldn't keep you on this earth if He didn't have a worthwhile ministry for you to accomplish. So ...
4183. Finish the Lord's Work
Illustration
... to sell you for 30 pieces of silver. And you may wonder why all these things have come to pass. Can you not see that the whole thing is brought about through the craft of the devil, to draw you off from your work and hinder your obedience to Christ? Keep about your work. Do not flinch because the lion roars. Do not stop to stone the devil's dogs. Do not fool around your time chasing the devil's rabbits. Do your work; let liars lie; let sectarians quarrel; let editors publish; let the devil do his worst. But ...
4184. Prayer - Be Thou Within Me
Illustration
Lancelot Andrewes
... me; Above me, to protect me; Beneath me, to uphold me; Before me, to direct me; Behind me, to keep me from straying; Round about me, to defend me. Blessed be Thou, O Lord, our Father, forever and ever. Note: Lancelot Andrewes (1555 - 1626) was a bishop in the Church of England. He served as royal chaplain to Queen Elizabeth I and later to Kings James I and Charles I. ...
... the crowd. The second phase: We told the audience about the person attempting to get the volunteer to accomplish the vital task. At this point we chose another person from the audience to add a new dimension. This person's goal was to, at all costs, keep the volunteer from doing the vital task. While the rest of the audience was to remain in their seats, these two people were allowed to stand next to the volunteer and shout their opposing messages. They could get as close as they wished; however, they were ...
4186. Back To The Fifties
Humor Illustration
... going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20. Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long when $5000 will only buy a used one. If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous. Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter? The Government is wanting to get its hands on everything. Pretty soon it's going to be impossible ...
4187. What Is Patience?
Humor Illustration
One Sunday morning my wife was teaching her class of small girls the subject of patience. She asked, "What is patience?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "Patience is when you are sitting in church and the preacher is preaching. You're just sitting there and he is preaching. He keeps preaching and you keep sitting there. That's patience."
4188. Alabama Humor for Tennesseans
Humor Illustration
... sophistication, good looks and intelligence that we Tennesseans do, but they're human, even if you can't tell it by looking. They're our neighbors, and we've been playing football against them for a long time without a war breaking out between our states. Let's keep it that way. Know how people in Alabama go fishing? They'll say, "Gosh darn, I'm hungry. Let's get some dynamite and go fishing." And their seven-course meal? A pound of baloney and a six pack. A student in a political science class at Alabama ...
4189. Kids' Advice On Love
Humor Illustration
... find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I've been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me. (Bobby, 8) I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough. (Regina, 10) PERSONAL QUALITIES NECESSARY TO ... 7) WHAT EXACTLY IS MARRIAGE? Don't forget your wife's name. That will mess up the love. (Roger, 8) Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don't have to give her back to her parents. (Eric, 6) When somebody's been dating for a while, the boy ...
4190. To Tell the Truth
Humor Illustration
... a popular young bum who hasn't done a lick of work since he got expelled his junior year in college. He manages to dress well and keeps a supply of spending money because his dad is a soft-hearted old fool who takes up his bad checks instead of letting him go to ... liquor when she is out joy-riding in her dad's car at night. She doesn't know how to cook, sew or keep house. The house was newly plastered for the wedding and the exterior newly painted, thus appropriately carrying out the decorative scheme, for ...
... three‑story building by a sheep that he was preparing for slaughter. The report noted that many Egyptian city dwellers keep livestock on their rooftops. This particular city dweller had been fattening the sheep in question for months getting it ready ... his loaded shotgun as he slept. Afterward, police seized the gun, which was not licensed. I believe the moral here has more to do with keeping your eye on a loaded weapon than it has to do with the nature of sheep. Still, it’s rather odd. Research in New ...
4192. Can We Bear the Light?
Matthew 25:31-46
Illustration
B. Wiley Stephens
The story is told of a young monk asking an older monk, "Father, if God is infinitely merciful, how can he deprive anyone of his heavenly kingdom?" The older monk answered, "Why do you keep turning your head from side to side?" The younger monk replied, "Because the sun keeps hitting me right in the eye and just won't leave me in peace." "Then you've answered your own question," the older monk laughed. "God doesn't deprive anyone of his heavenly kingdom. Some simply cannot bear the light, any more than you ...
... watchmen, always on guard for the return of their master. If the return of the Son of Man will be marked by the gathering together, the “home-coming” of the elect, then it is imperative that those who know he is coming to bring them “home” keep awake. The role of those waiting for the homeowner to return is twofold: first, to “beware” or “be on guard;” and second, to “be alert.” The watchman-at-the-gate’s appointed role is to be prepared for and alert to the master’s homecoming. That ...
... has been happening for centuries of Christian history, each year from "December to December" we retell the story of Jesus from beginning to end, and as our gospel lesson reminds us, we note that the story continues and will culminate in his coming again. So, in his own words, "Beware, keep alert; for you do not know when the time will come...And what I say to you I say to all ...
... five main ones, and two biggies in the five: sight and sound. Even those of us with poor vision and tin ears still rely heavily on sight and sound to get around. Taste and touch are less obviously used, but absolutely necessary. Our sense of touch keeps us from absent-mindedly leaning on a red hot burner or petting a puppy with the disposition of a boxer. Sight, sound, touch, taste they are the four senses that give us crucial information and safely connect us to our environment. Of all the senses, whether ...
... and he had an amazing break at the tender age of fourteen. He was one of a small number of impoverished but bright boys selected by a congressman to serve as a page in the United States House of Representatives. This was a life-changing experience, but it didn’t keep Oates out of the mill forever. Sixteen is the highest age you can be a page and so he had to go back to Greenville and his work at the mill. But he had tasted something more in Washington and so he insisted on finishing high school. He worked ...
... . The leper’s initial approach to Jesus is astonishing in its boldness and in its humility. As one of the “unclean,” this leper breaks all the rules of ostracism that surround him. He walks directly up to Jesus and addresses him. Instead of keeping his distance (fifty paces) and loudly announcing himself as “unclean” (Leviticus 1:45-46), this man kneels before Jesus and speaks right to his face. Although some manuscripts do not specify the kneeling action of the man, it is an action that fits with ...
4198. Questions That Puzzle Me
Humor Illustration
... matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized since their last visit? Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? How do ...
... the empty tomb. The careful observation of the Sabbath by these women — that they depart just before the Sabbath begins, keep the Sabbath, and return only after the Sabbath has concluded (“early on the first day of the week”) — also ... who might be available at this early hour to roll the stone away for them. Since the whole point of sealing tombs was to keep out grave robbers, the process of sliding the stone covering into a groove was much more easily accomplished than getting the smooth, handle- ...
... couple was moving across the country. They decided to drive both cars. Their 8-year old son Nathan worried. “How will we keep from getting separated?” Dad reassured him, “We’ll drive slowly. One car can follow the other.” “But what if we DO ... Mother’s Day because it is about love: “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this ...