A high school drama class was performing at a local theater. Somehow an accident occurred and a hole was cracked in the stage floor. Carefully the performers avoided the damaged area until little Joey, juggling bowling pins, accidentally stepped through the hole up to his knee. He apologized to the audience for his clumsiness which caused a heckler to shout, "Don't worry, Joey . . . It's just a STAGE you're going through!" We all go through stages, don't we? One of the stages that Generation X seems to be ...
Our Jewish friends are wonderful story tellers and they do not mind making fun of themselves. Here are two samples: During a service at an old synagogue in Eastern Europe, when the Shema prayer was said, half the congregregants stood up and half remained sitting. The half that was seated started yelling at those standing to sit down, and the ones standing yelled at the ones sitting to stand up. The rabbi, educated as he was in the Law and commentaries, didn't know what to do. His congregation suggested ...
For the past twenty years or so, a team of nutritionists and home economists on Butterball Turkey's Turkey Talk-Line have answered every conceivable question about how to cook a holiday turkey to perfection. One woman called to find out how long it would take to roast her turkey. To answer the question, the Talk-Line home economist asked how much the bird weighed. The woman responded, “I don't know, it's still running around outside." Leadership magazine had a story sometime back about a lady who was ...
Welcome on this first Sunday of a New Year. I trust that one of your resolutions for this year is to be in worship every week. Good for you. That's one resolution you've kept for at least one week. I heard about one poor fellow who decided to make only resolutions this year he could keep. He resolved to gain weight, to stop exercising, to read less and watch more TV, to procrastinate more, to quit giving money and time to charity, to not date any member of the cast of Baywatch, and to never make New Year's ...
Baby Boomers will probably remember the name of the rock star Alice Cooper. If you think Alice Cooper is a "she"--you give your real age away. Alice Cooper was the first "shock -rock" act. He used to parade on stage with makeup and live snakes and simulate his own decapitation--a pretty raunchy act. A few years ago his career received quite a boost when he appeared in the movie WAYNE'S WORLD. The scene everyone remembers is where Wayne and Garth have a chance meeting with Mr. Cooper, and they fall to their ...
Have you ever done anything really foolish? I mean, something so stupid that years later you still cringe when you think about it. Dr. James Dobson tells of a friend of his during their days in medical school. One day this man was walking across campus laden with books and briefcase. He passed by a fast food stand, and ordered something to eat and a milkshake to wash it down. He balanced it all on top of his briefcase and began looking for an empty table at which to sit. While looking, the milkshake got ...
As we open our lesson today, we see a conflict brewing. Actually there are two conflicts. Let's label them "the fast" and "the past." Let's deal first of all with the fast. When our lesson opens, the Pharisees and even the disciples of John the Baptist are fasting. Jesus and his disciples are not. To the casual spectator it might appear that Jesus is not paying proper tribute to his faith. Other religious people are fasting. He refuses. What gives with him anyway? We need to know that Jesus practiced ...
Have you ever noticed that grown men can act like little children at times? Every woman in the house is nodding her head. Notice our lesson from the Gospel for today. It begins with some words with which we have become familiar: "They went on from there and passed through Galilee. [Jesus] did not want anyone to know it . . ." There it is again. The stealth Messiah, quietly going about his business, trying to stay out of the public eye. This time Mark provides us with an explanation: ". . . for he was ...
The soloist had laryngitis. The flower girl was ill with pneumonia. The ring bearer had an accident in his blue-velvet pants just before the ceremony, and the mother-of-the-bride left her dress at home by mistake. Things continued to go downhill after the ceremony. It was the coldest day in Maryland in 20 years The newlyweds, Melissa and Tim Donnelly, had borrowed a 1941 Cadillac to ride away in. It got stuck in the ice in the church parking lot, so Melissa stuffed her gown into the back seat of a two-door ...
Have you ever noticed that men like to make jokes about marriage? For example, there's a story about a man sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey. One of his friends happens to come into the bar and sees him. "Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing? I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a drink before. What's going on?" Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the man replies, "My wife just ran off with my ...
There is a story in the Scriptures I would like to share with you before we close the service this morning. It is found in Luke 1:26-38. God sends the angel Gabriel to Mary. Gabriel says to her, “Greetings, you are highly favored! The Lord is with you . . . Don’t be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and will give birth to a son and you are to give him the name, Jesus. He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High.” Mary then responds, “How can this be? How can I ...
I once heard of a preacher in Chicago who advertised three sermons on the devil. The titles of the sermons were grammatically strange, but guaranteed to get attention: “Who, the devil, he is,” “What, the devil, he does,” and “How, the devil, he does it.” I am not trying to emulate that preacher, but only trying to make some sense out of Jesus’ dialogue with His audience in the 8th chapter of John. You recall that immediately after Jesus told His listeners that “The truth will make you free,” they protested ...
As the salesman came to the front door, he turned to the little boy sitting on the steps and asked, “Is your mother home?” The boy said “Yes,” and the salesman began to ring the doorbell. After several rings and no response, he turned to the boy and said, “I thought you said that your mother was home.” To which the boy replied, “She is, but this isn’t my house.” Sometimes we get the wrong answers because we don’t ask the right questions. In Mark 10, we read: “And as he was setting out on his journey, a man ...
The Russian novelist Leo Tolstoy wrote an insightful story titled How Much Land Does a Man Need? This story beautifully illustrates the attitude and principles that the 10th commandment was written to address. It goes like this: A peasant who had never owned a piece of land was given 20 acres with which to do what he wanted. He was excited at first. Then he decided he needed more. A traveler came and told him of a region he could go where land was available at a cheaper rate. He sold his 20 acres and used ...
For me, no appearance on the first Sunday after Easter is more vivid or beautiful than the scripture lesson shared by the Gospel writer Luke of the episode that takes place on the Road to Emmaus. S. MacLean Gilmore describes it "as a story of singular grace and charm." As our Gospel lesson begins we see that Cleopas and an unnamed disciple are leaving behind the bitter memories of Jerusalem and are walking to the Village of Emmaus. As they walk they begin to review the series of events that had taken place ...
Recently, my distinguished colleague, Dr. Rodney E. Wilmoth of Omaha, Nebraska, shared in a printed sermon some information about what I believe to be a sad legacy and memorial left by a man, John Jacob Astor. When he died in the 1800s, he was considered to be the richest man in America. However, the memory that many people had of him was anything but rich and honoring. He was born in the village of Waldorf in West Germany. He left home at age sixteen and eventually found his way to America by ship. The ...
One of the typical difficulties of days like today is connecting the ritual and annual stories of Palm Sunday with the stuff you came in here today worrying about! Okay, so Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey 2,000 years ago. Hey, that's cool. But, you say, I'm worried about paying for repairs to my Chevy so I can ride into Buffalo to go to work! Okay, so the people were all excited about Jesus and waved palm branches at him. That's a neat image, you say, but I'm more concerned about whether the ...
Realtors tell us that an empty house is difficult to sell. Regardless of its physical beauty, a home "shows" better when it is furnished. Sellers are advised to have the home cleaned, have a fire going in the fireplace, turn on lamps, have soft music playing in the background, and place fresh flowers on tables and cabinets. The aura and smells that are presented to the customer are important. In major shopping malls the smells of baked cookies are sometimes injected into the ventilation system to lure ...
In the 1960s a favorite weekend night of entertainment for many was to attend events titled "The Battle of the Bands." One entered an auditorium packed to the gills with other raucous teenagers. One by one, equally loud and excited teenage bands would be paraded across the stage to display their wares. This meant that each band had an opportunity to play and sing three or four songs to the accompaniment of the screaming crowd. The cacophony of sound would permeate a three-block area. The band judged by the ...
Many Americans have become very familiar with courtroom settings. This familiarity has been made possible by the O. J. Simpson trial and such programs as Judge Judy, Judge Brown, and the popular Court TV Channel. In a sense, Americans are afforded an opportunity to become involved in the legal and judicial profession simply by pushing the correct button on their remote control. Here they can listen to the evidence, predict the outcome of various trials, and practice law without a license. Isaiah, the ...
For a period of time there was an emphasis on good news/bad news stories. In good news/bad news stories, details keep turning from triumph to tragedy and back again. One such story which was related quite frequently was about two friends who were avid baseball fans. These two friends made a pact that whoever died first would come back and let the other know if there was baseball in heaven. The first one died and came back and contacted his friend and said, "Hey, man, I have great news for you! The good ...
Two Sundays ago, we began our series of sermons on The Christian Walk. We closed that first sermon with the story of three-year-old Ryan. He and his five-year-old sister, Lisa, were playing on the floor following a family dinner while the adults tried to have a conversation. Lisa opened her new toy nurse's kit and convinced Ryan to be her patient. She took the little stethoscope and placed it on her brother's heart, listened intently -- as good nurses do. Suddenly she announced, "I hear somebody walking ...
A cartoon pictured a man in a doctor's office receiving a physical examination. The doctor came out of his private office with a series of papers and a chart to give the patient the results of all the tests. These were the doctor's words: "Well, I see no reason why you can't live a perfectly normal life as long as you don't try to enjoy it." Then there's the story of a teenager who was overheard to say to a donkey out in the country, "Why, you must be a Christian. You have a long face like Grandpa." All of ...
Today we begin a new series of sermons on the Epistle of James. If I were to give a subtitle to this epistle, I would call it "A Manual of Practical Christianity." All of us should be able to identify with the thought. We are always asking that everything be made practical. Speakers are admonished to use the "kiss principle": "Keep it simple, stupid." There is a sense in which the Epistle of James is a "how to" book, and any bookstore has a large section of such books, from How To Build a Patio to How to ...
A Sunday School teacher was checking with her students one day to see if they knew the people with whom Jesus lived. "How many of you know who Matthew was?", she asked. Not one kid raised a hand. "Well, then," she said, "what about Luke? How many of you know who Luke was?", she asked. And again, the class just sat there and no one said a thing. She tried again. "How about John? Do you know who St. John was?" And still the children just sat there in dead silence. Finally the teacher said, "Well, what about ...