Acts 1:1-11 · Jesus Taken Up Into Heaven
Would You Make a Good Witness? (Ascension Day)
Acts 1:1-11
Sermon
by King Duncan
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We live in a crazy world. People do and say funny things. Even lawyers. No, I’m not going to start off with any lawyer jokes, but many of you may have seen lists of “bloopers” taken from real life courtroom cross examinations. These lists contain funny things that lawyers say. I want to enter them into evidence at this time:

One unnamed lawyer, during a cross examination pointed to a picture. “Were you present,” he asked, “when this picture of you was taken?”

Another lawyer asked: “She had three children, right?”

The witness answered, “Yes.”

The lawyer asked, “How many were boys?”

“None,” answered the witness.

The lawyer asked, “Were there any girls?”

Another attorney asked a witness, “The youngest son, the twenty‑year‑old, how old is he?”

An attorney cross examining a doctor asked this: “Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?” The doctor said, “No.” The attorney continued, “Did you check for blood pressure?” And again the doctor said, “No.” The attorney took a step closer to the witness stand and said, “Did you check for breathing?” The doctor said, “No.” Then the attorney seemed to get to his point by asking, “So then, is it possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?” And the doctor said, “No.” Then the attorney said, “How can you be so sure, doctor?” And the doctor said, “Because his brain was in a jar sitting on my desk.”

At this point the attorney pursued this line of questioning a little too far: “But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?” And the doctor wisely responded, “I suppose it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing LAW somewhere.”

It’s a funny world. I don’t know if any of you have been involved in a courtroom proceeding, but do you think if you were, you would make a very good witness? Think about that for a moment. I suspect that many of us would admit we would make terrible witnesses. We can meet someone at church, and five minutes later we would not be able to pick them up in a lineup. Please understand, I’m not implying that anyone here is likely to appear in a police lineup. But it is amazing that a legal system that depends so heavily on the testimony of witnesses has any chance at all of succeeding. Some of us would make terrible witnesses.

It’s also amazing to me that Christ entrusted his reconciling work in the world to witnesses, not all of whom can be considered reliable. At least, that’s what the Bible says he did. After Jesus’ resurrection, he appeared to his disciples over a forty-day period before his ascension, which we celebrate today. During that time he taught them about the kingdom of God. He left them with this final instruction: “Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about. For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit . . .” Then he gives them a promise and a purpose:

“You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

Jesus was entrusting everything he had lived and died for to these disciples and those followers of his yet to be born. Their assignment was to be his witnesses. That is Christ’s plan for reconciling the world unto himself. Witnesses! People who have experienced Christ in their own lives and are willing to share that experience with others. And the question we have to ask ourselves is, are we good witnesses?

Sociologist and author Father Andrew Greeley, in one of his creative and thought-provoking parables tells about a politician who was running in a very close election against a very clever campaigner. This politician “had a good message and an exciting platform, but he was not well known. So he had to make a lot of speeches around the district, go to many meetings, attend tea parties and receptions, and cocktail parties, and church gatherings, and touch every possible base in the district. It was still an uphill battle. A good friend of his was his advance man, the fellow who made the arrangements for all the events and speeches and logistics for the campaign. He was not a very good advance man; rather he was unreliable and pompous and, worst of all, disorganized. The other people in the campaign hated him, but the candidate stuck with his friend. As the election drew near, the polls showed the candidate losing ground. The advance man knew they were going to lose, so he gave up altogether. The campaign self‑destructed in the last week. Yet the candidate lost by only one half of one percent of the votes. All the media people said that if the campaign had been better organized, the voters would have gotten to know the candidate better and he would have won in a walk.” Then Andrew Greeley adds these provocative words: “We’re supposed to be advance persons for Jesus. Sometimes you wonder why he doesn’t fire us.” (1)

That’s good, isn’t it? “We’re supposed to be advance persons for Jesus.” We’re supposed to be his witnesses, making certain that his message is communicated in this turbulent world. It is a wonder he doesn’t fire us. Are you a good witness for Jesus?

A good witness in today’s world needs, first of all, to be credible. I believe we could all agree on that. There are few people we dislike more than hypocrites, people who publicly stand for one thing but secretly practice something else.

A little more than a decade ago an article appeared in the New York Times that disheartened many bird lovers. It was about a man named Tony Silva, a well-known bird breeder and outspoken defender of endangered species of parrots. Even today on Amazon.com you will find a highly acclaimed book on the care of parrots by Tony Silva, who was once the president of the American Parrot Association. Silva was well known for his warnings about the dangers of bird poaching, and of buying parrots of suspicious origin. And yet Tony Silva made the New York Times a decade ago when he confessed to a federal judge that he had smuggled more than 185 rare birds into this country from South America. One of his techniques was to drug the birds, then jam them into small tubes that were stuffed into hidden automobile panels or false‑bottomed suitcases. At least 100 birds died in transit. From his actions it is apparent that Tony Silva didn’t care at all about the welfare of parrots. At least he didn’t care as much as he liked living well.

On the one hand a defender of parrots. On the other, a murderer of parrots.

It reminds me of an embarrassing predicament that the Hollywood branch of the American Cancer Society once found themselves in. They decided to hold a benefit night in conjunction with a professional tennis tournament. Unfortunately they discovered too late--after they had contracted for the promotional materials--that a major tobacco company was sponsoring the tennis competition. So the publicity sent out by the Hollywood chapter of the American Cancer Society showed a young woman with a tennis racket in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

Not a very good witness for the Cancer Society. Credibility is everything in today’s society! We’re tired of people who say one thing and do something else.

Any of you who have ever played in a marching band know the name John Philip Sousa. Sousa, who died in 1932, wrote 136 marches. He was known as “The March King.”

His grandson bore the same name, John Philip Sousa, and for a while the grandson attempted to trade on his grandfather’s fame. As a young man he got big-money offers from impresarios to lead local bands across the country. He couldn’t read a note of music, but the Sousa name packed houses. “At first I thought it a lark,” said the grandson, “and had a good laugh that people couldn’t tell that the band was leading me instead of me leading the band.”

But, after a few engagements, Sousa decided he didn’t want to go through life pretending to be something he wasn’t. So he retired to another business, even though he had to begin at the bottom of his new business.

Good idea. Sooner or later, someone would have discovered his charade and he would have been exposed as a fraud. In today’s world it is important to be authentic. A good witness needs, first of all, to be credible.

A good witness needs, in the second place, to be caring. There is a saying in business today, “No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.” If that is true in the business world, how much more is that true about those who represent Christ? “No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.”

A bitter, broken young man we’ll call Bob was a patient in a drug and alcohol treatment center. However, he wouldn’t get into the spirit of the treatment which the center offered him. He held the 12 step program of Alcoholics Anonymous in disdain because it spoke of a “Higher Power.” “God,” he said without shame, “is a joke!”

Bob was counseled by a middle-aged man named Murray. Murray was a battle scarred recovering alcoholic. The key to Murray’s life was what he called “an encounter with God.” Murray never pushed his experience with God on others. He didn’t have to. Just to sit and eat lunch with Murray gave people a sense of refreshment. Although he didn’t say very much about God, people sensed that Murray was very close to God.

After a time, Bob was discharged from the program having shown very little progress. He was back within a few weeks after another drunk driving arrest and another job loss. He asked if Murray could be his counselor. The reason? In Bob’s own words, “I don’t know if it can work for me or not, but I know that if there is a God--it is the God I sometimes think I see in Murray.” (2)

Bob knew that Murray cared. Do your neighbors know that you care about them? How about your friends, the people at work, your own family members? To witness for Christ you must be credible, you must be caring.

And you must be committed. “We’re supposed to be advance persons for Jesus,” says Andrew Greeley. “Sometimes you wonder why he doesn’t fire us.” We all are guilty, aren’t we? We’re silent witnesses for Christ for the most part. Members of the secret service in the army of God. We don’t wear our religion on our sleeve. There’s only one problem with that. It doesn’t fly. It’s not real. According to the New Testament, if we are followers of Christ, then we are witnesses. We are either witnesses for Christ or witnesses against Christ. We kid ourselves if we think we can hide our light under a bushel without it eventually going out altogether.

Sometime back there was an article in the Wall Street Journal about a Chinese woman named Su Xueling. It seems that the Chinese government is trying to stop Ms. Xueling from telling others about Christ.

Su was born into a communist family. She knew nothing of Christ until her husband was dying of cancer when she was in her 30s and a nurse suggested that she might find solace in Christianity. Struggling with grief and debt while trying to make a living selling noodles door to door, this Chinese woman visited a church. One thing led to another, and Su became a Christian. Through friends, she began to raise money for a noodle factory. When she opened it, she named her business Gospel Foodstuffs, Ltd., and printed “Gospel Noodles” boldly on the packages. Her business prospered, and a friend challenged her to donate money to start a seminary. The seminary prospered and grew until it was serving 200 students. Refusing to bend to a law forbidding evangelizing, the seminary even taught Arabic in the hope of sending missionaries to the Middle East. Remember this was in communist China. Finally the government shut down the school as well as Su’s noodle business. Later, the government backed down, in part because Su was so popular--they couldn’t afford to treat her as roughly as they might an unknown believer. Su Xueling doesn’t plan to restart her noodle business, but she does plan to start a private school, and is raising money for that purpose now. (3)

You can’t keep a good woman down. The Christian faith is growing by leaps and bounds in China today because of committed witnesses like Su. You and I don’t face the same challenges as these witnesses, but Christ does expect the same level of commitment. So, how good a witness are you? It’s really a simple assignment if you choose to accept it: Live credibly as a disciple of Christ. And be a person who cares. Be pro-active about it. Live boldly, confidently, creatively, so that the world will know that you are a follower of the Nazarene. “You will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”


1. http://www.agreeley.com/hom05/dec11.html.

2. Adapted from http://www.lectionarysermons.com/7598Kdom.html.

3. Adapted from http://revbill.wordpress.com/2005/06/18/matthew‑1024‑39/.

ChristianGlobe Networks, Inc., Second Quarter 2008 Dynamic Preaching, by King Duncan