An intimate, exclusive, lifelong covenant relationship
between a man and a woman wherein a new family is established.
Theology
of Marriage
The
biblical basis for marriage is recorded in Gen. 2:18–24, which
establishes a number of important points relating to marriage.
First,
in Gen. 2:18 God highlights the first expressed inadequacy within
creation: the man is alone. The solution to the man’s solitude
is found not among the animals (a fact demonstrated by the careful
search expressed by having the man name each of them) but in a
creature specifically created to address the problem of his solitude:
woman. She is created from his “rib” (a better
translation is “side”), so that she is more like him than
any of the animals. In spite of this, she is not a clone, but rather
a complement to him. She is described as a “helper suitable for
him,” which highlights her fulfillment of the inadequacy God
had previously identified.
Second,
the role of the wife is not restricted to providing a means by which
to fulfill the command to fill the earth (through bearing children),
for the problem identified in Gen. 2:18 cannot be reduced to this
alone. The OT establishes that human beings are relational and
social, and that isolation is not good, quite aside from
considerations relating to childbearing. Indeed, when marriage is
employed as a metaphor for the relationship between God and his
people (see below), it can be conceptualized quite apart from the
notion of procreation, suggesting that the latter should not be
considered the primary purpose of marriage.
Third,
Gen. 2:23 describes the relationship between the man and the woman in
terms strongly reminiscent of the traditional kinship formula used
with reference to family members elsewhere in the OT: “bone of
my bones, and flesh of my flesh” (cf., e.g., Gen. 29:14; Judg.
9:2; 2 Sam. 5:1; 19:13–14—similar to the modern
English expression “my flesh and blood”; see also Matt.
19:5; Eph. 5:31). Although “be united” (other
translations use “cleave”) and “one flesh”
are frequently understood to refer to sexual union, this is not the
only, or even the primary, implication of the words. Genesis 2:24
expresses the unification of the husband and the wife as the
antithesis of the man’s leaving his father and mother. These
terms (“leave” or “forsake,” “be
united” or “cleave”) are used elsewhere in
covenantal contexts. “Cleave” is usually used of people
in the sense of clinging to another out of affection and loyalty
(Gen. 34:3; Ruth 1:14; 2 Sam. 20:2; 1 Kings 11:2). It is
also frequently used of Israel clinging to God (Deut. 10:20; 11:22;
13:5; 30:20; Josh. 22:5; 23:8). “Forsake” is used of
breaking covenants (Deut. 12:19; 14:27; 29:25; Jer. 1:16; 2:13, 17,
19; 5:7; 16:11; 17:13; 19:4; 22:9). The verb also appears in the
context of marital divorce in Prov. 2:16–17; Isa. 54:6; 62:4.
The
implication of Gen. 2:24 is that the man was formerly “united”
to his parents in a familial relationship, but when he marries, the
covenantal relationship with his parents is superseded by the new
relationship with his wife. Thus, in establishing the covenantal
relationship of marriage, the man and the woman form a new family
unit (they become “one flesh,” which parallels the
kinship formula more fully expressed in Gen. 2:23). It is noteworthy
that Gen. 2 thus defines a family as husband and wife; a family is
formed before any children are born. Furthermore, the emphasis on the
priority of the relationship between husband and wife is particularly
striking, given both the importance of honoring one’s parents
(Exod. 20:12; Deut. 5:16) and the distinctly patrilocal nature of
inheritance whereby sons would remain in the parents’ household
after marriage and ultimately inherit a share of it, but daughters
would leave their parents’ house to be with their husbands.
Fourth,
the description of the woman as the man’s “helper”
cannot alone be used to demonstrate that the wife’s role was
either subordinate or superior to her husband’s. Although the
term is elsewhere often used as a description of God, it is also used
of subordinate helpers, and other contextual indications determine
the relative status of the helper aside from the use of the term
itself.
Marriage
in the Old Testament
The
Bible presents few formal legal, liturgical, or cultic requirements
for marriage (whereas there are specific laws dealing with divorce),
although it does record some details of specific marriages from which
some insight into marriage practices can be gleaned. Marriages often
were established through an arrangement between the parents of the
husband and those of the wife or between the husband and the parents
of his prospective wife (e.g., Gen. 24; 38:6), but there appears to
be some diversity, with examples of a man choosing his own wife
(e.g., Judah in Gen. 38:2) or instances when the consent of the woman
is sought (e.g., Gen. 24:8, 58). The requirement of a formal
certificate for divorce (Deut. 24:1, 3), together with examples of
marriage contracts from the ancient Near East, are possible evidence
that marriage within Israel required certification, although there is
no explicit confirmation of this in the OT or in Israel prior to the
rabbinic period. The marriages recorded in the OT often involved
feasts of varying duration (Gen. 29:22; Judg. 14:12), the bride being
accompanied to her home in a festive procession that included music
and singing (Ps. 78:63; Jer. 7:34; 16:9), and a blessing pronounced
over the bride that she might bear many children (Gen. 24:60; Ruth
4:11). Deuteronomy 22:15 suggests that evidence of the bride’s
virginity was retained by the wife’s family to guard against
false accusations by a husband seeking divorce.
Another
aspect of marriage that appears to have been normative although not
legislated was the payment of a mohar, or “bride-price”
(Gen. 34:12; Exod. 22:16; 1 Sam. 18:25), as well as the
provision of a dowry (1 Kings 9:16). The former was a payment
made by the groom’s family to the bride’s family, the
latter an amount given by the father to his daughter. Typically, the
former appears to have exceeded the latter in value. The bride-price,
at least in later times, functioned as insurance should the wife be
divorced.
The
Bible does not issue any specific age constraints upon those being
married, indicating that the OT practice probably did not differ
significantly from that of other nations in the ancient Near East,
where girls were considered ready for marriage once they had reached
puberty or the age of twelve, and boys were generally slightly older.
Constraints were placed on the eligibility of marriage partners, and
generally marriages were endogamous: marriage partners were chosen
from within the clan, tribe, or nation (e.g., Gen. 24:1–9;
27:46–28:5; cf. Deut. 7:3, which prohibits marriage with some,
but not all, foreigners, and Deut. 21:10–14, which permits
Israelite warriors to take a wife from among female prisoners of
war). While there were exceptions to this constraint (e.g., Moses
married a Midianite; Bathsheba was married to a Hittite; Boaz married
Ruth, a Moabite), in later times the restriction was given legal
sanction under Ezra and Nehemiah (Ezra 9:2, 12; Neh. 13:25; cf. Luke
14:26; 18:29).
In
spite of the likelihood that many marriages in the OT and the ancient
world in general were arranged, the notion of romantic love as both
an ideal for marriage and a basis for choosing one’s spouse
clearly was known and even regarded as desirable. This is reflected
in the approbation given romantic love in Song of Songs as well as in
stories such as that of Jacob (Gen. 29:18; see also Judg. 14:1–3;
1 Sam. 18:20).
Socially,
marriage was of particular import for a woman in the ancient world,
for her well-being usually depended on her place within the house of
either her father or her husband. Because inheritance was passed down
the male line, women without connection to the house of a man were in
a very tenuous state. Inheritance itself was also an important issue
in the ancient world, and so great value was placed not just on
marriage but also on bearing children (particularly male [see also
Firstborn]). Associated with these social functions of marriage in
ancient Israel is the fact that the OT permits and records a number
of instances of polygamy (always polygyny, never polyandry). This
afforded social security to widows (see also Levirate Law, Levirate
Marriage) and helped ensure the line of inheritance. It should be
noted, however, that neither the welfare aspect of marriage nor the
related acceptance of polygamy is based on the biblical foundation
for marriage in Gen. 2, and consequently, polygamy does not reflect
the biblical ideal for marriage.
The
fundamental importance of the marriage relationship is also
highlighted by the severity of the penalties for adultery (e.g.,
Exod. 20:14; Deut. 5:18; 22:22–24; see also Adultery).
Marriage
in the New Testament
Jesus
reinforces the importance of marriage, emphasizing its divine origin
and lifelong nature (Matt. 19:6; Mark 10:9) as well as its
inviolability (Mark 10:2–12). In light of this, Jesus’
assertion that at the resurrection there will be no marriage is
surprising (Matt. 22:30). Although Jesus offers no explanation as to
why there will be no marriage following the resurrection, it is
perhaps likely that the fundamental need identified by God in Gen.
2:18 (the man was alone) will be solved in a different manner in the
age to come: the intimate help and companionship ideally found in
marriage will be provided in perfected relationship with God and all
others.
Paul
elaborates somewhat on marriage in the Christian community. Christian
marriage ought to be characterized by mutual submission in some
respects (1 Cor. 7:4; Eph. 5:21) while reflecting some
asymmetrical aspects of the relationship between Christ and the
church in others (Eph. 5:22–33). Christians ought to marry
within the church (2 Cor. 6:14–18, although this passage
is not restricted to marriage); however, those who are married to
nonbelievers are not to seek divorce, but are to remain faithful to
their spouses for the sake of both the spouse and their children
(1 Cor. 7:10–16).
The
NT makes reference to some of the marriage customs of the day,
including sharing a feast (Matt. 22:2–12; Luke 12:36; John
2:1–11), the expectation that guests be suitably attired (Matt.
22:11–12), and a procession to the groom’s home (Matt.
25:1–13; Luke 12:35–38).
Symbolic
Use of Marriage
Marriage
is used figuratively in both Testaments. The relationship between God
and his people is described with marriage language (Isa. 62:4–5;
Jer. 2:2). By using such language, the prophets emphasize the
intimacy and unity inherent in the relationship between God and his
chosen people, as well as the devastating betrayal when the covenant
is broken. The use of the marriage metaphor is thus extended to the
use of divorce language to describe God’s treatment of
unfaithful Israel (Jer. 3:8), and the notion of adultery and
promiscuity is equated with the worship of foreign gods (Ezek. 16;
23). The prophet Hosea’s marriage is itself a graphic
representation of God’s relationship with his people and, in
particular, their faithlessness; however, it also holds out the
anticipation of a new covenant, one wherein God declares, “You
will call me ‘my husband’; you will no longer call me ‘my
master’ ” (Hos. 2:16). The metaphorical use of
marriage to image the relationship between God and his people also
reflects the implicit belief in the asymmetrical nature of the
relationship between husband and wife in the ancient world.
The
NT primarily identifies the church as the bride and Christ as the
husband when using marriage language figuratively (e.g., Eph.
5:22–33). In so doing, the NT affirms Christ’s deity by
explicitly depicting him in the place occupied by God in the OT’s
use of marriage symbolism. Jesus uses marriage in his parabolic
teaching about the kingdom of God (Matt. 22:2–14; 25:1–12),
as well as in reference to himself as bridegroom when explaining the
behavior of his disciples (Mark 2:19–20; Luke 5:34–35).
Revelation depicts the return of Christ as the time of the marriage
between the bride and the bridegroom (Rev. 19:7; 21:9).
