Pride is the first of the seven deadly sins. One falls into pride when one lacks trust in God and his mercy and becomes arrogant, hypocritical, and self-centered. Reinhold Neibuhr, who has been referred to as the twentieth-century theologian of sin, summed up humanity's basic sin -- our unwillingness to acknowledge our creatureliness, our self-elevation, in one word: PRIDE.

Neibuhr described the four types of pride:

1. The pride of power wants power to gain security for self or to maintain a power position considered to be secure.
2. Intellectual pride rises from human knowledge that pretends to be ultimate knowledge. It presumes to be final truth.
3. Moral pride claims that its standards for virtue test and measure all righteousness. Neibuhr observed that most evil is done by "good" people who do not know that they are not good.
4. Spiritual pride is self-glorification. It claims that "self's righteousness" conforms to God's righteousness.

Don't give till it hurts. Give till it helps. The story is told of a very wealthy man who had never been known for his generosity to the church. The church was involved in a big financial program and they resolved to pay him a visit. When the committee met with the man one afternoon, they said that in view of his considerable resources they were sure that he would like to make a substantial contribution to this program.

"I see," he said, "so you have it all figured out have you? In the course of your investigation did you discover that I have a widowed mother who has no other means of support but me?" No, they responded, they did not know that. "Did you know that I have a sister who was left by a drunken husband with five children and no means to provide for them?" No, they said, we did not know that either. "Well, sir, did you know also that I have a brother who is cripple due to an automobile accident and can never work another day to support his wife and family?" Embarrassingly, they responded, no sir, we did not know that either. "Well," he thundered triumphantly, "I've never given any of them a cent so why should I give anything to you?"

Like that man, most of us never give till it hurts or helps. It is interesting to me that people who tithe in the church never speak of it as hurting. My wife and I tithe and it has not made life painful for us in the least. We started discussing some days ago what our pledge to the church for next year would be and how we could increase it. That doesn't sound like it hurts does it? It is the grudging giver, who is the one who always registers the complaint: At that church all they talk about is money." So let us get off of this notion of give till it hurts so that we affirm we give till it helps.

One day a student came to see the great Episcopal bishop/preacher Phillips Brooks, and said to him, "Dr. Brooks I would like to share my doubts with you, but I am afraid it might destroy your faith." Brooks could only lean back in his chair and roar with laughter. Any minister who has done any thinking at all, has faced doubts. Just the calling into ministry is a huge crossroads for any human being. You have to overcome a sea of uncertainties to say "Yes" to such a foolish endeavor as ministry. Crushing Doubts? Greater than any student ever imagined!

The Junior Sunday School Teacher asked her eight eager children if they would give $1,000,000 to the missionaries. "YES!" they all screamed!! "Would you give $1,000?"  Again they shouted, "YES!" "How about $100?"  "Oh, YES we would!" they all agreed!! "Would you give just a dollar to the missionaries?" she asked. The boys exclaimed "YES!" just as before except for Johnny. "Johnny," the teacher said as she noticed the boy clutching his pocket, "why didn't you say 'YES' this time?" "Well," he stammered, "I HAVE a dollar."

A businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch an important deal went to the temple to pray for the money. By chance he sat next to a man who was praying for $100 to pay an urgent debt.

The businessman took out his wallet and pressed $100 into the other man's hand. Overjoyed, the man got up and left the temple. The businessman then closed his eyes and prayed: "And now, Lord, that I have your undivided attention . . ."

In a book entitled Plain Talk about Churches and Money, one of the authors states: "Clergy often come to their calling with a distinct aversion to conflict and to having to deal with money issues. Our culture seems to reinforce them in that behavior. So long as clergy are cowed and anxious in the face of money and wealth, they will remain silent about the spiritual issue that touches our culture more deeply than any other. The more I steeped myself in this book and looked at churches around me, the more I became convinced this behavior is the way a culture controls a challenge to itself. A money-driven culture seems to want clergy who are ‘safe' and "tame" when dealing with the spiritual dimension of money."

The possibilities go in two directions: one, Jesus is overwhelmed, startled and delighted at this woman's faith, she has done more than all those who are supposedly leaders of the church. She gives sacrificially. They give a token. He wants them all to see real faith at work.

At the same time, she is giving with purpose and meaning, she understands what she has done. Like the woman in the poem, "When I am Old I Am Going to Wear Purple", she gives with freedom, abandon, boldly, bravely, with the sure knowledge that she will not eat, but not caring. She is in control, and has decided to pick her destiny.

The other possibility, and it is a dark one, is that Jesus walks out of the Temple, condemning it to destruction, because he has seen with his own eyes the final straw: the devouring of a widow by the very Temple itself. In allowing the widow to give everything away without any thought to care, the leaders of the Temple beg for their own destruction. From those who have been given much, much is expected.

James I. McCord, then president emeritus of Princeton University Theological School, told the story of a man who commented that he was never coming back to a particular church because all they ever talked about in that church was give, give, give. Concluded Dr. McCord: I cannot think of a better definition of Christianity than that: give, give, give.

I am convinced that unless you learn to give you can never learn to be fully human. Let me ask you this. If there was a dog walking down the street, healthy coat, obviously in good shape, and he had a bone in his mouth, and that dog passed a flee bitten mutt that was near starvation, do you think that the healthy dog would stop and drop his bone in front of the sick dog? Oh, no. He would clinch his bone that much tighter in his teeth as he passed by. That is the nature of animals. Only man knows how to be a giver.

God is a giver. He gave us life itself. And his ultimate gift was that of his son. What more cherished, more precious, more intimate gift could one give than that of his only child? If we want to achieve God likeness, we must be givers too. God does not ask us to renounce our possessions. He does ask us to renounce our spirit of possessiveness. He does not ask us to give up necessitates, but he does ask us to share out of our abundance. The deepest joy in life is not by taking all that we can get, but by sharing all that we have got.

How often have you imagined using the one million, five million, or ten million dollar grand prize of some well-known sweepstakes? How many times have you 'daydreamed' about how you would use a large, unexpected sum of money? How many times have you listed [in your mind] all the good things you would do if you suddenly received a large, unexpected inheritance? Have you ever made this statement: "If I had the money, I would take care of 'X' need in the congregation."

It is amazing to consider what we would do with the money we do not have. It is amazing to consider how our priorities would change if we acquired a large amount of unexpected money. It seems we would use the money we do not have in ways that we infrequently use the money we do have. It seems if we had more than enough money, we would use the surplus differently than we use what we actually have.

Perhaps the needs that we see overwhelm us. Perhaps they are so enormous we are convinced our help would be less than insignificant. "I am willing to do what I can, but what I can do will not make any real difference. The need still will be there."

Perhaps we are infected with the "sickness" of the American perspective. The typical perspective of the American culture is the "fix it" mentality. Most Americans believe there is a solution for every problem and a permanent fix for every needy situation. Commonly, Americans believe that solutions and fixes depend on money. The world's poor rarely consider permanent solutions or fixes. To the world's poor, such solutions and fixes do not exist. They think in terms of doing the possible at the moment of need. Most American Christians cannot reason from their perspective.

A discussion was taking place in Farmer John's barnyard between a pig and a chicken. The pig said, "I've noticed that Farmer John is walking around very depressed these days. The farm isn't doing so well, and he seems very upset. Let's think of some way we could cheer him up." "I know," said the chicken. "He loves to eat, so let's fix him a great big breakfast! How does ham and eggs sound?" The pig pondered a moment and then said, "Well, the breakfast idea sounds good but the menu bothers me a bit." "Why is that?" the chicken asked. The pig responded, "That breakfast represents a single donation on your part, but of me it requires a personal sacrifice."

In one of his Lake Wobegone stories, Garrison Keillor tells about a Sunday morning in Lake Wobegon Lutheran Church. The sermon has been droning on far too long, and Clarence Bunsen has checked out early. He realizes it's almost time for the offering, so he quietly reaches for his wallet. Upon opening his wallet, Clarence discovers he has no cash. He takes out his pen and hides the checkbook in the middle of his Bible, next to one of the psalms. He begins to scratch out a check for thirty dollars, because he almost had a heart attack that week, and because somebody in the church will count the offering and he wants them to see he gave thirty dollars.

He tries not to be obvious, but a lady to his right sees him. Clarence can tell she thinks he's writing in the pew Bible, so he doesn't look at what he's doing. She gives him a funny stare, and turns back to the sermon. Clarence tries to quietly rip the check out of the checkbook, with limited success, still not looking at what he's doing so the lady in the pew won't know he has written out a check in church. The offering plate comes by, and Clarence proudly puts in the check, only to realize a moment too late that he has just written a check for three hundred dollars. He accidentally wrote three-zero-zero on two different lines when he wasn't looking.

What could he do? On the one hand, he couldn't go downstairs after church and find the deacons counting the collection and say, "Fellows, there's been a mistake. I gave more than I really wanted to." On the other hand, he gave all he had in the checking account and a little more. Perhaps he and his family will have to eat beans and oatmeal for the rest of the month, Clarence thought, even though the contribution was going to a good place. One thing was for sure, notes Keillor. In that moment, Clarence felt fully alive for the first time all day.

I am reminded of the report of an associate pastor of a large church that hired a church fund-raiser to direct its ambitious financial campaign. The fund-raiser proposed his strategy at the first planning session. He wanted the members to visit every home .He was met with immediate resistance. One cynic at the stewardship meeting cited that this church had a high percentage of retired people on fixed incomes. They could not be expected to pledge, the cynic argued.

The fund-raiser asked for permission to see in confidence the list of major givers. At the next meeting he told the stewardship work area that he had completed an analysis of the church's giving patterns. "Please note that the majority of your top 50 contributors are ‘widows on fixed incomes.' Please note that, according to my calculations, those ‘widows on fixed incomes' pay about 60 percent of this congregation's annual budget. I'd say if you want to improve the giving in this congregation, you need to talk to those women first, find out why they give, then try to infect the rest of the congregation with the faith of these ‘widows on fixed incomes.'"

I'd rather see a sermon than hear one, any day;
I'd rather one would walk with me than merely tell me the way;
The eye's a better pupil and more willing than the ear.
Fine counsel is confusing, but example's always clear,
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live their creeds,
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs.

There was a man who called at the church and asked if he could speak to the Head Hog at the trough. The secretary said, "Who?" Then she gathered herself and said "Sir, if you mean our pastor you will have to treat him with a little more respect than that and ask for the ‘Reverend' or ‘The Pastor.' But certainly you cannot refer to him as the Head Hog at the Trough." The man said, "I understand. I was calling because I have $10,000 I was thinking about donating to the building fund." She said, "Hold on for just a moment—I think the big pig just walked in the door."

Now I am sure the secretary wouldn't treat me like that, some of the laity perhaps but not the secretary! But we all are subject to changing our tune when money is suddenly involved. That is why this passage of Scripture has been an enduring image throughout the ages. We play favorites. We treat those who give more as if they are the pillars on which the church is erected.

But consider with me another image. Jesus, sitting opposite the place where the offerings were put, is observing the people make their donations as they come into the temple. He is not alone. Seated with him are the leaders—the Sadducees. It is startling to think of Jesus sitting with those whom he had scorned for their hypocrisy.  Remember that as they watch there is no paper money, so all of the offerings make a terrible noise as they roll down this long horn shaped object and fall into the pool of coins. And here comes this little old lady and she has two small coins worth nothing and drops them in. They barely make a noise. You can almost see the Temple leaders as they roll their eyes and hope for better results with the next person who walks in the door. Jesus then calls his Disciples over and says, "This poor widow has put more in to the treasury than all the others." To the Sadducees this woman is a waste of time, but to Jesus she is the stuff by which Kingdoms are erected. Thus, at its heart, the story of the widow's mite is a strong reminder to the kingdoms of this world…

1. That the Kingdom of God is built by the widow as well as the wealthy.
2. That the Kingdom of God recognizes the level of sacrifice.
3. That the Kingdom of God warns us about pride.

Robert Fulghum, who wrote "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten," says that he placed alongside the mirror in his bathroom a picture of a woman who is not his wife. That's risky business! Every morning as he stood there shaving, he looked at the picture of that woman.

The picture? The picture is of a small humped-over woman wearing sandals and a blue eastern robe and head dress (sari). She is surrounded by important-looking people in tuxedos, evening gowns, and the regalia of royalty. It is the picture of Mother Teresa, receiving the Nobel Peace Prize!

Fulghum said he keeps that picture there to remind him that, more than a president of any nation, more than any pope, more than any chief executive officer of a major corporation, that woman has authority because she is a servant.

An advertisement I ran across read: "Now you too can own a Genuine Coin From The Time of Jesus: The Widow's Mite. It's a minor miracle that this coin has survived and now people of faith can study, cherish, and protect it for future generations. It's yet another miracle that they're so affordable."

Then, the ad goes on to quote the Scripture we just heard, "While our limited supplies last, you may order the 2,000 year old Widow's Mite for only $39.95 plus shipping and handling. Remember this is the genuine coin mentioned in the Holy Bible and it makes a perfect gift for your child, grandchild, or favorite clergyman."

The advertisement makes it sound like your buying the actual coin the widow dropped into the receptacle. Of course, you are not. It doesn't exist. Harder still is to purchase the woman's attitude of generosity, which is of greater value in today's market.

In 1970, a man by the name of Malcolm Muggeridge went to Calcutta to do a special documentary on Mother Teresa for BBC-TV. Muggeridge then was Europe's Tom Brokaw.

Well, on that fated morning of their meeting (a morning that would change him the him for the rest of his life) he met her as she was working out in the streets with sick and poor people in a ghetto like he had never seen before, amid stench, filth, garbage, disease, and poverty that was just unbelievable. But what struck Muggeridge more than anything else, even there in that awful squalor and decadence, was the deep, warm glow on Mother Teresa's face and the deep, warm love in her eyes.

"Do you do this every day?" he began his interview.

"Oh, yes," she replied, "it is my mission. It is how I serve and love my Lord."

"How long have you been doing this? How many months?"

"Months?" said Mother Teresa.

"Not months, but years. Maybe eighteen years.

"Eighteen years!" exclaimed Muggeridge. "You've been working here in these streets for eighteen years?"

"Yes," she said simply and yet joyfully. "It is my privilege to be here. These are my people. These are the ones my Lord has given me to love."

"Do you ever get tired? Do you ever feel like quitting and letting someone else take over your ministry? After all, you are beginning to get older."

"Oh, no," she replied, "this is where the Lord wants me, and this is where I am happy to be. I feel young when I am here. The Lord is so good to me. How privileged I am to serve him."

Later, Malcolm Muggeridge said, "I will never forget that little lady as long as I live. The face, the glow, the eyes, the love—it was all so pure and so beautiful. I shall never forget it. It was like being in the presence of an angel. It changed my life. I have not been the same person since. It is more than I can describe." By the way, after Malcolm Muggeridge made those comments, Mother Teresa continued to serve in that sacrificial way until the end of her life nearly twenty-seven more years.

Obviously, we can't all be Mother Teresa, but we can all live in that spirit. In our own ways, we can all learn to give.

I'm reminded of the story of the young soldier who was overseas. He was writing his girlfriend. He wanted to send her a telegram because he thought that would make more of an impression. So he gave the telegraph operator a message to send. The message was this: "I love you. I love you. I love you. John."

The telegraph operator said, "Son, for the same amount of money you can send one more word."  So he amended his message and it read like this: "I love you. I love you. I love you. Cordially, John."

Many of us profess our love for God, "I love you, I love you, I love you," but when push comes to shove our devotion is more like "cordially" than it is love.

This widow put her money where her heart was. She gave all she had. And Jesus praised her.

In George S. Clason's, The Richest Man in Babylon, he teaches an important principle. It's a principle you're familiar with: the person wanting to be rich should give away ten percent of everything he earns. Why? According to Clason there are some deep subconscious, psychological principles.

The first is that you should put back what you take out. The second is that the act of giving ten percent creates value for yourself and others. But I was drawn to his third reason for giving ten percent away. When we do that, according to Clason, it says to the world and to our own subconscious mind that there is more than enough, that we expect life to keep providing what we need.

This poor widow had never read The Richest Man in Babylon, but she must have trusted that there was more than enough in the Father's storehouse and that he would provide. That kind of trust, that kind of confidence, that kind of hope is pleasing to God.

Author Ruele Howe tells about growing up with his parents in the country. When he was 15 years old, the house caught on fire. They escaped with only the clothes on their backs. There were no close neighbors to help so he and his father walked to a distant village to get supplies. As they returned they saw something that stayed with Ruele Howe all those years after. Beside the charred remains of what had been their house, his mother had laid out lunch on a log. She had placed a tin can filled with wildflowers on the log. It was a symbol of hope in the midst of tragedy.

This is the Christian faith, isn't it? She didn't try to cover up the disaster with flowers, but in the midst of that gloomy scene she had placed a symbol of hope.

These two coins that the widow placed in the temple treasury were her wildflowers. This was her symbol, her way of saying I know God will provide.

16 out of 38 of Christ’s parables dealt with money. More is said in the New Testament about money than Heaven and hell combined; five times more is said about money than prayer; and where there are over 500 verses on both prayer and faith, there are over 2000 verses dealing with money and possessions.

A Jewish woman was fleeing the German Gestapo in France. She knew she was close to being caught and she wanted to give up. A Christian woman, a widow, told her it was time to flee to a new place. The Jew said, “It’s no use, they will find me anyway. They are so close behind.” The Christian widow said, “Yes, they will find someone here, but it’s time for you to leave. Go. I will take your identification and wait for them.”

The Jewish lady then understood the plan; the Gestapo would come and find this Christian widow and think she was the fleeing Jew.

The Jewish lady asked her why she was doing that. The widow responded, “It’s the least I can do; Christ has already done that and more for me.”

The widow was caught and imprisoned in the Jewish lady’s place, allowing time for her to escape. Within six months the widow died in the concentration camp.

Finally, I would suggest to you that the cheering stopped because Jesus began to talk more and more about a cross. In the early part of his ministry Jesus talked about the Kingdom of God. That's what they wanted to hear about, especially since they misunderstood this kingdom to be a restoration of Israel to the days of King David’s glory. But increasingly Jesus began to talk about sacrifice—even giving up your life.

The story is told of the pee-wee baseball game. When the young boy got up to the plate he looked over to the coach, and he saw him give the signal to sacrifice bunt. He then promptly proceeded to take three big swings and strike out. The coach ran up to him and said: Didn’t you see me give you the signal to sacrifice. Yes, the boy replied. But I didn’t really think that you meant it.

Isn’t that what we so often say to God. Yes, lord, I heard that talk about sacrifice but I didn’t really think that you meant it, but the cross says emphatically that he did mean it.

I began this sermon with the question, "Why did the cheering stop?" It stopped because Jesus more and more began to talk about commitment; it stopped because Jesus opened up the doors of the church and invited people to come in. But most importantly of all, it stopped because Jesus began to talk about a cross.

Tom Long asks the question in his book Shepherds and Bathrobes: "Have you ever noticed where God placed his treasure on this earth?" The treasure is not gold, but gospel. Not silver, but good news. Not hard, cold cash, but grace, love, and peace. He points out that God could have left it with the politicians, those who are responsible for collecting taxes, building schools, and passing laws, but God didn't. God could have left this treasure with Zechariah, the high priest, but his unbelief took him out of the picture. Tom Long states that God left the treasure in the least likely of places: in the love, care, and nurture of a first century peasant woman chosen as the "handmaiden of the Lord." God's treasure was left with the most powerless figure in the ancient world. Doesn't that tell you something about God's grace in today's world?

In her book, Discipline, the Glad Surrender, Elisabeth Elliot reveals four meaningful lessons to be learned from the discipline of our possessions:

"The first lesson is that all things are given by God...Because God gives us things indirectly by enabling us to make them with our own hands (out of things He has made, of course) or to earn the money to buy them...we are prone to forget that He gave them to us.

We should be thankful. Thanksgiving requires the recognition of the Source. It implies contentment with what is given, not complaint...it excludes covetousness.

The third lesson is that things can be material for sacrifice. The Father pours out His blessings on us; we, His creatures, receive them with open hands, give thanks, and lift them up as an offering back to Him...

This lesson leads naturally to the fourth which is that things are given to us to enjoy for awhile...What is not at all fitting or proper is that we should set our hearts on them. Temporal things must be treated as temporal things received, given thanks for, offered back but enjoyed.

During a harvest festival in India, an old widow arrived at her church with an extraordinarily large offering of rice - far more than the poor woman could be expected to afford. The itinerant pastor of the church did not know the widow well. But he did know that she was very poor and so he asked her if she were making the offering in gratitude for some unusual blessing. "Yes," replied the woman. "My son was sick and I promised a large gift to God if he got well." "And your son has recovered?" asked the pastor. The widow paused. "No," she said. "He died last week. But I know that he is in God's care; for that I am especially thankful."

One of the better known treasure hunts in modern times is the quest to find the rumored wealth known as the "Beale treasure."  The hunt began when an eccentric man, who left the East for the gold and silver mines of the West, returned home, supposedly hid a vast amount of wealth, then disappeared forever. All he left behind were several messages written in a mysterious code. One of those messages when deciphered told of the treasure and its approximate location. The other documents narrowed down the site. Since the Beale documents first came to light, thousands of man-hours and hundreds of thousands of dollars have been spent attempting to break the codes and find the legendary treasure.

Often, we spend our time looking for treasure in all the wrong places, when our quest, as Christians, only need begin in our own spiritual backyard.

We have called this the information age but I would give it a different name. I would call us the age of efficiency. We want every process streamlined - we want it efficient. The doctor's office doesn't what you checking in with the receptionist anymore, that is a time waster. Through the miracle of technology, they have streamlined the time wasting process of having you write your name. Now you walk up to a computer terminal and type your name, forget talking to a receptionist. They have efficiently eliminated all the time wasting human interaction of the past. The future of the world, our society, and technology all look headed toward increased efficiency.

We are in a time when we don't prize human interaction. We don't prize service, love, tenderness or sacrifice. We are a culture that has set our sights on the goal of absolute efficiency.

There's an old story about a family with four children, who was celebrating Mom's birthday. Dad and the kids decided to create their own birthday presents for Mom that year. Mom sat in her favorite chair expectantly.

The oldest girl wrote Mom a poem. "Roses are red, violets are blue; You are the best Mom, It really is true." She had written it on a piece of paper and decorated the edges like a certificate. After Reading it, she placed it on a silver tray and presented it to Mom.

The oldest boy took the tray and placed a carefully drawn and painted scene of their house and family. For a seven year old it wasn't bad.

The youngest boy took the tray and set a paper dessert plate which he had colored and decorated on the tray. The plate contained 3 Oreo cookies from his school lunch. They were his favorites, so this was quite a sacrifice. (There were four but temptation got the better of him when he was setting everything up. Mom could see cookie crumbs in the corner of his mouth.)

The youngest daughter was a little distraught. She hadn't thought of anything or made anything and in their excitement Dad and the other children forgot her. But she took the silver tray, set it on the floor in front of mom, stepped onto the tray and said, "I give you me."

I love that story, partly because it's just cute, but mostly because I think it teaches us about what God expects in our everyday Christian walk. You see, I think what God expects can be summed up in the old song, "All of me." "All of me, why not take all of me, can't you see I'm no good without you. You took the part that once was my heart, so why not take all of me."

And that's the truth, we are no good without God. God wants all of us. Not just our heart, not just our mind, not just our soul, not just our strength but every bit of us. And God wants us to bring it to Him like that little girl, and place all we are and have and ever will be at God's Altar.

While it is wonderful that we set aside one day to especially honor mothers, let us reflect for a moment on all of the things mothers do for us.  First of all, they bring us into the world through a biological miracle that is amazing, but certainly not easy.  Then they spend the next two decades preparing meals, solving problems, kissing boo-boos, helping us learn everything from how to brush our teeth to how to navigate the difficulties of the "real world."  They spend the rest of their lives fretting and worrying about us.  They care for us in a way that is beyond words.  They sacrifice for us in ways beyond words.  Even after they have passed on, and Mother's Day can be especially difficult for those of us who have lost mothers, their influence is so powerful that it stays with us always.  I propose that one day is not enough.  One day is nice, but it is not enough.

So while we take this day to especially honor mothers, let us think of it as a planning day.  How can we honor our mothers, grandmothers, mother-in-laws, and aunts each and every day?  How can we recognize their special contributions to our lives every day?  Let us take a moment to jot down five ways we can truly honor mothers, from our own mothers to the young mothers in this congregation, to the mothers who might be missing their grown up kids, to mothers who may have passed away. (Give a few moments to allow individuals to jot down their list.  You may provide a few moments at the end of the sermon or at the end of the service to return to these lists and allow people to share their ideas with each other.)  Now, let us make a commitment to honor these women every day of the year because one day is not enough!

From Antagonists in the Church: How to Identify and Deal With Destructive Conflict

Definition of an antagonist: Someone who on the basis of non-substantive evidence, goes out of their way to make insatiable demands, usually attacking the person or performance of others; these attacks are selfish in nature, tear down rather than build up, and are frequently directed against leadership.

Kinds of antagonists: Hard core (usually irrational, unreasonable) and Major antagonist (possible to reason with them, but they will not be reasoned with).

Identifying Antagonists

1. Is his/her behavior disruptive?
2. Is the attack irrational?
3. Does he/she go out of h/h way to initiate trouble?
4. Does h/s make insatiable demands?
5. Are h/h concerns minimal or fabricated?
6. Does h/s avoid causes that involve personal risk/suffering/sacrifice?
7. Does h/h motivation appear selfish?

Red Flags To Watch For:

1. Previous track record
2. Parallel track record (antagonist at work, school, club, etc.)
3. Nameless others: "At least 24 others feel this same way."
4. Criticism of predecessor
5. Instant buddy
6. Gushing praise
7. "I Gotcha!" Asks leading questions, tries to trap you.
8. Extraordinary likeability
9. Church hopper
10. Liar
11. Uses aggressive means: extreme, combative, unethical
12. Flashes $$$
13. Takes notes at inappropriate times
14. Sarcasm, cutting language
15. Different drummer, always doing things their own way
16. A pest incessant phone calls, questions, etc.
17. The "cause"

Early Warning Signs:

1. Chill in the relationship
2. Honeyed "concerns" "Dear pastor, I have a concern about ..." may mean "I'm angry!!"
3. Nettlesome questions
4. Mobilizing forces, pot stirring
5. Meddling in others' responsibilities
6. Resistance

Later Warning Signs:

1. Sloganeering
2. Accusing
3. Spying
4. Distorting
5. Misquoting scripture
6. "Judas kissing" "I'm your friend, but I have to say..."
7. Smirking
8. Letter writing (don't respond with a lengthy, reasoned answer)
9. Pretense
10. Lobbying

Preventing Antagonism:

1. Follow established policies
2. Functional feedback channels
3. Job descriptions
4. Broad base of responsibility
5. Discipline that works
6. Anticipatory socialization let people know plans
7. United front within leadership

Relating To Dormant Antagonists:

1. Act professionally
2. Keep your distance
3. Be accurate, don't guess, estimate
4. Avoid excessive positive reinforcement
5. Tighten the reins
6. Don't seek sympathy from others
7. Don't form a committee to look into accusations, this only appears to give credibility to their charges
8. Don't call for a vote of confidence

A few years ago someone came up with an ingenious acrostic for the bible. B.I.B.L.E. means Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. I really like that. The Bible is our basic instruction book for life and relationships. Oh, I know, you can't turn to an index and get direct advice about how to deal with your straight A student who suddenly decides they want to pierce their eyebrows or dye their hair clown orange. Or a child who has decided that the only thing they can eat is a diet of quail eggs, coconut water, kiwi and tabouli. It doesn't give direct answers about what movies we should let our children see or what curfew we should set for what age.

But it DOES speak to us of a loving caring God. It is filled with stories of loving caring parents. It does show by example what loving relationships should be like. It does tell us the ramifications of disobedience and disrespect. And it does talk about grace, love, mercy, forgiveness, and about giving and sacrifice.

Ezekiel 1:8 - "Cyrus, king of Persia, brought these out in charge of Mithredath the treasurer, who counted them out to Sheshbazzar the prince of Judah."

Romans 16:23 - "Gaius, who is host to me and to the whole church, greets you. Erastus, the city treasurer, and our brother, Quartus, greet you."

The treasurer was an important officer in Oriental courts, probably having charge of the receipts and disbursements of the public treasury. This title was given to this officer of state and indicated that he was a man of great importance. He was frequently considered superior to all others, and this position was sometimes filled by the heir to the throne.

This is a logical step, if we consider the type of treasure for which this man was responsible. These royal - and also sacred - treasures consisted of money, jewels, gold, documents, silver, spices, shields, grain, wine, oil, cattle, sheep, and on and on. Quite a bookkeeping chore! And that it was - so treasurers were probably men who were familiar with various forms of bookkeeping.

And then there were the sacred treasures. These included basins of silver and gold, money, vessels, bowls, priestly garments, altars, candlesticks, and all the rest of the myriads of objects necessary for the worship services.

Can you imagine what it must have been like in the hey-day of Solomon’s reign, when he had a whole city for just his horses, not to mention all the rest of the wealth of which he was possessed! For one man to keep track of all that would be like the Secretary of the Treasury today having to account for every penny daily. That’s patently an impossible task. And, just as our Treasury department has many sub-divisions, so too the treasurer has many sub-treasurers, or sub-stewards, working under him.

At that, it was quite a job keeping track of all the king’s and the priests’ possessions. But we know that it must have been done accurately, because we have mention in various places of accountings that were given to the king. And, considering the prerogotives of kings and the well-known disposition of most of them, it would seem that a treasurer of judgment was also a man of scrupulous honesty.

Self Denial is about making a sacrifice that makes a difference, focusing on the Cross and reminding ourselves what Christ gave up for us. Rev. Craig Gates of Jackson Mississippi has a great list of suggestions. He says we should:

GIVE UP grumbling! Instead, "In everything give thanks." Constructive criticism is OK, but "moaning, groaning, and complaining" are not Christian disciplines.

GIVE UP 10 to 15 minutes in bed! Instead, use that time in prayer, Bible study and personal devotion. A few minutes in prayer WILL keep you focused.

GIVE UP looking at other people's worst attributes. Instead concentrate on their best points. We all have faults. It is a lot easier to have people overlook our shortcomings when we overlook theirs first.

GIVE UP speaking unkindly. Instead, let your speech be generous and understanding. It costs so little to say something kind and uplifting or to offer a smile. Why not check that sharp tongue at the door?

GIVE UP your hatred of anyone or anything! Instead, learn the discipline of love. "Love covers a multitude of sins."

GIVE UP your worries and anxieties! They're too heavy for you to carry anyway. Instead, trust God with them. Anxiety is spending emotional energy on something we can do nothing about: like tomorrow! Live today and let God's grace be sufficient.

GIVE UP TV one evening a week! Instead, visit someone who's lonely or sick. There are those who are isolated by illness or age. Why isolate yourself in front of the "tube?" Give someone a precious gift: your time!

GIVE UP buying anything but essentials for yourself! Instead, give the money to God. The money you would spend on the luxuries could help someone meet basic needs. We're called to be stewards of God's riches, not consumers.

GIVE UP judging others by appearances and by the standard of the world! Instead, learn to give up yourself to God. There is only one who has the right to judge, Jesus Christ.

A couple, visiting in Korea, saw a father and his son working in a rice paddy. The old man guided the heavy plow as the boy pulled it.

"I guess they must be very poor," the man said to the missionary who was the couple's guide and interpreter.

"Yes," replied the missionary. "That's the family of Chi Nevi. When the church was built, they were eager to give something to it, but they had no money. So they sold their ox and gave the money to the church. This spring they are pulling the plow themselves."

After a long silence, the woman said, "That was a real sacrifice." The missionary responded, "They do not call it a sacrifice. They are just thankful they had an ox to sell."

Nicholas was born of wealthy parents in A.D. 280 in a small town called Patara in Asia Minor. He lost his parents early by an epidemic but not before they had instilled in him the gift of faith. Then little Nicholas went to Myra and lived there a life full of sacrifice and love and the spirit of Jesus. Nicholas became so Christlike that when the town needed a bishop he was elected. He was imprisoned for his faith by Emperor Diocletian and released later by Emperor Constantine. There have been many stories of his generosity and compassion: how he begged for food for the poor, and how he would give girls money so that they would have a dowry to get a husband. The story most often repeated was about how he would don a disguise and go out and give gifts to poor children. He gave away everything he had. And in the year 314, he died. His body was later moved to Italy where his remains are to this day.

But the story of Nicholas has spread around the world. There are more churches in the world named after St. Nicholas than any other person in all the history of the church. Oh, people have done strange things to him. The poet, Clement More, gave him a red nose and eight tiny reindeer. And Thomas Nast, the illustrator, made him big and fat and gave him a red suit trimmed by fur. And others have given him names—Belsnickle, Kris Kringle, Santa Claus. But what's important about him is that he had the mind of Christ. Because of his gentle selfless love, he touched the whole world. And this same mind of Christ is to be in us.

There is an ancient legend about the monk who found a precious stone, a precious jewel. A short time later, the monk met a traveler, who said he was hungry and asked the monk if he would share some of his provisions. When the monk opened his bag, the traveler saw the precious stone and, on an impulse, asked the monk if he could have it. Amazingly, the monk gave the traveler the stone.

The traveler departed quickly overjoyed with his new possession. However, a few days later, he came back, searching for the monk. He returned the stone to the monk and made a request: "Please give me that which enabled you to give me this precious stone!"

A commitment of the whole heart, that's what heaven, the Kingdom of Heaven requires of its followers. I love this last parable because Jesus does not say the Kingdom of Heaven is like a pearl of great price. He says the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant, a merchant who finds a great deal on a flawless stone and does everything in his power to close the sale. That's commitment to a greater cause. That's sacrifice and hard work. That's what heaven is like. Amen.

God give us men...ribbed with the steel of Your Holy Spirit...men who will not flinch when the battle's fiercest...men who won't acquiesce, or compromise, or fade when the enemy rages. God give us men who can't be bought, bartered, or badgered by the enemy, men who will pay the price, make the sacrifice, stand the ground, and hold the torch high. God give us men obsessed with the principles true to your word, men stripped of self-seeking and a yen for security...men who will pay any price for freedom and go any lengths for truth. God give us men delivered from mediocrity, men with vision high, pride low, faith wide, love deep, and patience long...men who will dare to march to the drumbeat of a distant drummer, men who will not surrender principles of truth in order to accommodate their peers. God give us men more interested in scars than medals. More committed to conviction than convenience, men who will give their life for the eternal, instead of indulging their lives for a moment in time. Give us men who are fearless in the face of danger, calm in the midst of pressure, bold in the midst of opposition. God give us men who will pray earnestly, work long, preach clearly, and wait patiently. Give us men whose walk is by faith, behavior is by principle, whose dreams are in heaven, and whose book is the Bible. God give us men who are equal to the task. Those are the men the church needs today.

D-Day for WWII was June 6, 1944 — the day on which the Battle of Normandy began — commencing the Western Allied effort to liberate mainland Europe from Nazi occupation during World War II. President Roosevelt composed a prayer and delivered it on the radio that evening. What follows is the full text of that address:

My Fellow Americans,

Last night, when I spoke with you about the fall of Rome, I knew at that moment that troops of the United States and our Allies were crossing the Channel in another and greater operation. It has come to pass with success thus far.

And so, in this poignant hour, I ask you to join with me in prayer:

Almighty God: Our sons, pride of our nation, this day have set upon a mighty endeavor, a struggle to preserve our Republic, our religion, and our civilization, and to set free a suffering humanity.

Lead them straight and true; give strength to their arms, stoutness to their hearts, steadfastness in their faith.

They will need Thy blessings. Their road will be long and hard. For the enemy is strong. He may hurl back our forces. Success may not come with rushing speed, but we shall return again and again; and we know that by Thy grace, and by the righteousness of our cause, our sons will triumph.

They will be sore tried, by night and by day, without rest until the victory is won. The darkness will be rent by noise and flame. Men's souls will be shaken with the violences of war.

For these men are lately drawn from the ways of peace. They fight not for the lust of conquest. They fight to end conquest. They fight to liberate. They fight to let justice arise, and tolerance and goodwill among all Thy people. They yearn but for the end of battle, for their return to the haven of home.

Some will never return. Embrace these, Father, and receive them, Thy heroic servants, into Thy kingdom.

And for us at home fathers, mothers, children, wives, sisters, and brothers of brave men overseas, whose thoughts and prayers are ever with them help us, Almighty God, to rededicate ourselves in renewed faith in Thee in this hour of great sacrifice.

Many people have urged that I call the nation into a single day of special prayer. But because the road is long and the desire is great, I ask that our people devote themselves in a continuance of prayer. As we rise to each new day, and again when each day is spent, let words of prayer be on our lips, invoking Thy help to our efforts.

Give us strength, too strength in our daily tasks, to redouble the contributions we make in the physical and the material support of our armed forces.

And let our hearts be stout, to wait out the long travail, to bear sorrows that may come, to impart our courage unto our sons wheresoever they may be.

And, O Lord, give us faith. Give us faith in Thee; faith in our sons; faith in each other; faith in our united crusade. Let not the keeness of our spirit ever be dulled. Let not the impacts of temporary events, of temporal matters of but fleeting moment let not these deter us in our unconquerable purpose.

With Thy blessing, we shall prevail over the unholy forces of our enemy. Help us to conquer the apostles of greed and racial arrogances. Lead us to the saving of our country, and with our sister nations into a world unity that will spell a sure peace a peace invulnerable to the schemings of unworthy men. And a peace that will let all of men live in freedom, reaping the just rewards of their honest toil.

Thy will be done, Almighty God.

Amen.

Note: We offer this as a possible pastoral prayer during times of war or conflict. We understand that current wars and WWII have many dissimilarities but there are at the same time similarities. Also we understand there are many differences of opinion regarding war and conflict. So we will not attempted to contemporize or adapt the above prayer leaving that up to each pastor. Or, you may simply wish to incorporate part or all into your sermon as an historical illustration.

In the latter part of the 17th century, German preacher August H. Francke founded an orphanage to care for the homeless children of Halle. One day when Francke desperately needed funds to carry on his work, a destitute Christian widow came to his door begging for a ducat - a gold coin. Because of his financial situation, he politely but regretfully told her he couldn't help her. Disheartened, the woman began to weep. Moved by her tears, Francke asked her to wait while he went to his room to pray. After seeking God's guidance, he felt that the Holy Spirit wanted him to change his mind. So, trusting the Lord to meet his own needs, he gave her the money. Two mornings later, he received a letter of thanks from the widow. She explained that because of his generosity she had asked the Lord to shower the orphanage with gifts. That same day Francke received 12 ducats from a wealthy lady and 2 more from a friend in Sweden. He thought he had been amply rewarded for helping the widow, but he was soon informed that the orphanage was to receive 500 gold pieces from the estate of Prince Lodewyk Van Wurtenburg. When he heard this, Francke wept in gratitude. In sacrificially providing for that needy widow, he had been enriched, not impoverished.

Robert Louis Stevenson's "Treasure Island" is a favorite book to many. The adults in "Treasure Island" were unlike many adults we know--grownups who staked all, risked everything, for nothing more than some map scrawled on a piece of paper.

The adults most of us know stay home, keep their heads down, go to work in the morning and then they come back again in the evening. But in "Treasure Island," they risked, they lied if needed, and they had great lives and exciting deaths.

A speaker at a graduation ceremony once said, "Remember one thing as you go forth from school into life: Even if you win the rat race, remember, you're still a rat."

He was telling the truth. There is this relentless, virtually irresistible tendency of life to transmute from adventure into tame predictability. One day you're an angry, young thing, ready to grab the world by the tail and twist, dying to set the woods on fire. And the next day you're some old guy, slouched in an easy chair, complaining about how the kids are ruining the world. One day you're a kid, excited about the prospect of leaving home, abandoning your parents, and going to college where you can think as you like, and they can't do anything about it. And then the next day you're just a college student, going through the motions, trying to accumulate enough hours to graduate.

Jesus says a kingdom belongs to those with the guts to stake it all on the treasure.

Love is the filling from one's own,
Another's cup,
Love is the daily laying down
And taking up;

A choosing of the stony path
Through each new day,
That other feet may tread with ease
A smoother way.

Love is not blind, but looks abroad
Through other's eyes;
And asks not, "Must I give?"
But "May I sacrifice?"

Love hides its grief, that other hearts
And lips may sing;
And burdened walks, that other lives
May buoyant wing.

Hast thou a love like this?
Within thy soul?
'Twill crown thy life with bliss
When thou dost reach the goal.

People talk of the sacrifice I have made in spending so much of my life in Africa. Can that be called a sacrifice which is simply acknowledging a great debt we owe to our God, which we can never repay? Is that a sacrifice which brings its own reward in healthful activity, the consciousness of doing good, peace of mind, and a bright hope of a glorious destiny? It is emphatically no sacrifice. Rather it is a privilege. Anxiety, sickness, suffering, danger, foregoing the common conveniences of this life these may make us pause, and cause the spirit to waver, and the soul to sink; but let this only be for a moment. All these are nothing compared with the glory which shall later be revealed in and through us. I never made a sacrifice. Of this we ought not to talk, when we remember the great sacrifice which He made who left His Father's throne on high to give Himself for us.

Churches sometimes go to great lengths to get people to come to their church.  Not long ago on a church called the Positive Impact Christian Church offered a door prize of $1,000.  All the local newspapers reported this unusual approach to evangelism.  However, the preacher was deeply disappointed when only thirty people showed up when he was anticipating hundreds.  After all, he thought, who could resist the appeal of a $1,000 door prize for a lucky worshiper.

Contrast that experience with a newspaper ad that appeared in London in the 1800's which said, "Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long months of complete darkness, constant danger, safe return doubtful." The ad was signed by Sir Ernest Shackleton, Antarctic explorer. Amazingly, the ad drew thousands of respondents, eager to sacrifice everything for the prospect of meaningful adventure.

Which approach do we take in the church today?  Do we make discipleship easy or challenging?  Well, our text today leaves no doubt about the method Jesus took.  Instead of giving something away, he demanded that his followers give everything up.

Forty-three years ago, I read something by Sherwood Anderson in an upper-level literature class at Albion College. Which took me a while to find, given that I wanted to see if it was as I remembered it. But I did. And it was.

Anderson shared a legend, suggesting that in the beginning there was a valley filled with truths. And the truths were all beautiful. There were truths about every subject under the sun. There were truths about virginity and truths about passion....truths about wealth and truths about poverty....truths about thrift and truths about profligacy....truths about carefulness and truths about abandon. There were hundreds and hundreds of truths, all of them beautiful.

And then the people came along, pouring into the valley. Each snatched up one of the truths. And the strong, several. But in trying to protect their truth from others, they squeezed it until it became misshapen....deformed....even grotesque. Until the person holding it became grotesque. Which happens in my business all the time. And which is why I hold the truths I love in humble hands. For short of eternity, there is little I can claim with absolute certainty. I suppose if you persist in a belief that out there is to be found "the one true church," all I can tell you is where you cannot find it....that being the church that claims (to the point of bragging) that they have it. Whatever you do, don't go there.

Once upon a time there was a White Knight looking for adventure. He came to a village where legend told of a terrible ogre in a pit. Bravely the White Knight took up the challenge. He would do battle with the terrible ogre in the pit. The people remembered several courageous men had climbed down into the pit, but no one could remember even one of those champions returning.

The White Knight stood looking at the deep, dark hole. The opening was so narrow he stripped himself of armor and unnecessary clothing. He took only a long dagger, which he tied around his neck with a leather strap. After securing a rope at the opening and testing its strength, he gripped it firmly and began lowering himself, hand under hand, letting the rope slip between his feet. Soon he felt the cool, smooth floor of the chamber. It took several minutes for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, but soon he focused on a large mound. Then he realized it was the bones of his predecessors, along with their assorted weapons. A little way off he spotted another mound, but he wasn't sure what it was.

Suddenly he was surprised by the inhabitant of the pit—surprised because he didn't anticipate that the ogre would be only as tall as a rabbit. The ogre waved his arms and screeched with its squeaky voice, trying to appear as fierce as possible. The White Knight picked up a sword from the floor and prepared to do battle, but quick as a rat, the ogre ran into a hole near the second mound.

The White Knight followed, and as the second mound became clearer and again he was surprised. Before his eyes there glittered balls of gold as big as grapefruits and diamonds as big as plums. With only a small part of that treasure, any commoner would be a prince for life. The little ogre lost its importance in view of this great treasure.

But the White Knight had a problem. How would he carry it out of the hole? He had no pockets. Who would believe him if he didn't bring back at least one piece?

He suddenly had an idea. He would take one of the diamonds in his mouth and carry it that way until he had climbed out of the hole. He could always come back later for the rest. Hurriedly he chose one of the larger diamonds. It fit comfortably into his mouth, and he began the arduous climb out of the pit, hand over hand, gripping the rope with his feet. His tongue held the diamond tightly against the roof of his mouth. Higher and higher he climbed until the heavy exertion began to render him breathless. He would have to breathe through his mouth in order to get enough air. As he took in a large gulp of air the diamond slipped and stuck in his throat. The White Knight choked on his treasure, lost consciousness, and fell to his death on the mound of bones below.

You see, the terrible ogre in the pit was not the little troll. The ogre in the pit was greed—greed in the hearts of men who saw easy treasure and the hope of unearned gain. The glitter of this world had choked him to death.

Foe three weeks the minister announced in the church newsletter that a called meeting of the Administrative Board would be held to consider enlarging the church kitchen. For three weeks, the same announcement appeared in the Sunday worship bulletin and was repeated verbally from the pulpit. On the appointed date, the board met, deliberated the details, and voted to move ahead with the kitchen project. Construction was soon under way. One morning, a member of the board happened by the church and was curious to know what all the commotion was about in the kitchen. It was explained that the kitchen was being enlarged. The board member was irate. "Who authorized that?" he demanded. He was informed that the Adminsitrative Board had met and unanimously approved the project. "Why didn’t I know anything about the meeting?" he snapped hatefully. That was a good question, considering he had been in church each Sunday the announcement was made and the newsletter had carried the same information into his home for three successive weeks. Why do people not pay attention? Are they (we) preoccupied, disinterested, along for a free ride, or just simply contrary? For whatever reason, it is both disconcerting and annoying to be ignored repeatedly.

Jesus and his disciples were on their way to Jerusalem and, in what was actually his third announcement of his approaching death, Jesus said: "Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem; and the Son of man will be delivered to the chief priests and the scribes, and they will condemn him to death, and deliver him to the Gentiles; and they will mock him, and spit upon him, and scourge him, and kill him; and after three days he will rise" (10:33-34). James and John, the sons of Zebedee, had not heard a word of it! Immediately, their ambitions, which doubtless they had been stroking while Jesus had been speaking, came to the front. En route to a human sacrifice, they dared to ask for places of honor in the kingdom (10:37). They were indeed, as the writer of the hymn, "Are Ye Able?" describes them - sturdy dreamers.

Jesus taught that to seek places of honor is to be off on the wrong trail; service is the objective. "The Son of man also came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many" (10:45).

Many, many years ago a man moved into a small town. His little house was near the railroad tracks. Every morning he noticed an elderly lady walking along the tracks picking up something and putting it into a bag. The man got curious. He went to a small grocery store nearby and asked the owner about this lady. "Oh, that's the widow Jacobs," said the grocer. "Every day she comes half way across town to pick up the coal that is spilled on the tracks when the early morning train runs through town."

"But there hasn't been a steam locomotive using coal on these tracks for years," replied the new resident.

"That's right," said the store owner. "When the steam train stopped running, old Mr. Simpson who runs the hardware store was concerned that the Widow Jacobs would no longer have coal to heat and cook with. He knew she was too proud to take charity, so he decided to get up early every morning, take a bag of coal and drop it along the tracks. The Widow Jacobs still thinks the steam train runs by here every morning. I think Old Mr. Simpson has been doing that for about 5 years now."

A few lumps of coal dropped along a railroad track each day. It's not much to do, but it's some-thing. I believe God calls each of us to do something to make life better for someone else. That's what this text is saying to us, isn't it?

Give your all this Christmas: A missionary pastor who worked among the most impoverished people in Africa had just finished preaching the morning message. It is the custom there to take the offering after the sermon. The missionary pastor wondered what the folks in attendance could possibly place in the offering baskets. However, the baskets were passed. Some put in plastic buttons, some placed coinage equal to our pennies. However, one particular woman who owned nothing but the one dress on her back, stared at the plate. After a moment, she stood up and stepped right into the offering basket. She offered herself. This is still the best gift and response you can ever make in response to the Christmas story.