Luke 18:1-8 · The Parable of the Persistent Widow
The Family That Prays Together Stays Together
Luke 18:1-8
Sermon
by James Merritt
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I don't have to tell you that families are falling apart, and that is born out by the following statistics:

  • There has been a 200% growth in single parent households since 1970 - from four million to eight million homes.
  • The number of married moms leaving home for work each morning rose 65% from 10.2 million in 1970, to 16.8 million in 1990.
  • Married couples with children now make up only 26% of US households, down from 40% in 1970.
  • 36% of children said their chores included making their own meals in 1993. Only 13% said the same in 1987.
  • An estimated 70% of juvenile offenders come from single parent families.
  • The average child has watched 8,000 televised murders and 100,000 acts of violence before finishing elementary school.
  • One in six youths, between the ages of 10 and 17, has seen or know someone who has been shot.
  • The estimated number of child abuse victims increased 40% between 1985 and 1991.
  • In 1988, 26% of girls, age 15, reported being sexually active, as compared to only 5% in 1970.
  • Children under 18 are 244% more likely to be killed by guns than they were in 1986.1

It is not surprising that a study completed at the University of Rhode Island, described the American home as the most dangerous place to be outside of riots and a war.2

Next to those facts, put this observation: Newsweek magazine discovered that a surprisingly large percentage of Americans believe deeply in the efficacy of prayer. According to a Gallup poll they commissioned, 78% of Americans prayed once a week, and 57% prayed at least once a day. 91% of women prayed at some time, and 85% of men. This included 94% of blacks and 87% of whites.3

Now when I think about the problems we have in the home, and the prayer that evidently is going on in America, I am convinced that we need to get prayer back into the home. We need to use the power of prayer to bring families together, to put families together, and to keep families together.

You may be in a marriage that you think is so hopeless that nothing or nobody can help it. You may think you have children who are so far gone that nothing or nobody can ever bring them back. Well, let me tell you two things that your child, or your spouse, cannot fight. They cannot fight your prayer and they cannot fight your love.

A great Bible teacher by the name of J. Sidlow Baxter, once said, "Men may spurn our appeals, reject our message, oppose our arguments, despise our persons, but they are helpless against our prayers."4

The Lord Jesus told a parable that illustrates not only the power of prayer, but how, using these principles, a family that will pray together can stay together.

I. We Are To Pray Continually

"Then He spoke parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart." (v.1) The Greek word for "lose heart" literally means "to get so discouraged that you want to quit." Do you ever get so discouraged in a marriage, you just want to quit? Do you, as a parent, ever get so discouraged in trying to raise children, you just want to throw your hands up and walk away?

I heard about a mother who got her little three year old boy ready for Easter. She dressed him up in his new Easter suit. He was all clean and shiny. She told him to play until she got ready for church.

Well, after she got ready she went looking for him, and, to her horror, found him in the backyard. He had wallowed in the mud with his filthy dog. He was covered in mud, dirt, and filth from head to toe. With a forlorn look, and tears coming down her cheeks, she looked at him and said, "I do declare, it would be easier to just have another one, than it would be to clean you up."

When the going gets tough, the tough keep on praying. It is God's desire that we "always pray and not lose heart." 1 Thess. 5:17 says "we ought to pray without ceasing." Now that does not mean that we are to do nothing but pray. But it does mean we are to do nothing without praying. You see, prayer is not to be continuous, but it is to be continual. In other words, we are not to always be involved in the action of prayer, but we are always to be in the attitude of prayer.

Prayer should be as natural to us as breathing. Now the problem is, some people only pray when they get into trouble, and their attitude is: "I'll only call on God when I really need Him." I heard a pastor tell a story one time of something he saw back in the days of World War II. He was somewhere over in France, and he and a buddy of his were in a house. They happened to be cleaning that house. All of a sudden, the bombs started to fall just as they had begun to mop the kitchen floor.

He said he had a friend with him, a G.I., who was helping him to mop the floor. The floor was just covered with soap and water. When the bombs started to fall, this man tried to run. But the floor was so slippery he couldn't run. He kept falling down. Finally, he got his footing, and when he got to take a first real step, he stepped in the pail and got it stuck on his foot. That caused him to fall again. When he stood back up, he stepped on the mop, it flew up and hit him in the face and knocked him under the stairs. All the time the bombs are falling on that house.

He said this man was just struggling just to get out of that house and get to safety. In all of that bombing and chaos, he prayed and said, "O God, if you will just help me get out of this mess, I will get out of the next one all by myself."

Well, that soldier was right to pray in that situation, but he was wrong to say he wouldn't pray in the next one. You see, we are to turn every care into a prayer, every aggravation into a supplication, and every irritation into an invocation.

We are to pray when we are in trouble, but we are to pray when we are not in trouble. As a matter of fact, if we would give ourselves to more prayer we would get ourselves in less trouble.

II. We Are To Pray Consistently

Jesus tells a parable about a hard-hearted judge and a helpless widow. Now we have already been told that the purpose of the parable is to move us to prayer. Keep that in mind as you listen to it.

There are two characters in this story. First of all, there is a hard-hearted judge. "There was in a certain city a judge who did not fear God nor regard man." (v.2) This judge had two problems. He did not "fear God nor regard man." That is, he had no communion with God, and no compassion for man. Now, as I read that, I thought about some of the judges we have sitting on benches today.

If you want to know why we have judges who legalize abortion, coddle criminals, defend pornographers, and attack pro-lifers, the answer is right here. Because we have a lot of judges who neither "fear God nor regard man."

You see, I understand why, in the last thirty years, prayer was removed from public schools in the name of separation of church and state, why perverted pornography has been defended in the name of freedom of speech, why abortion has been legalized in the name of freedom of choice, and why homosexual marriages are on the verge of being legalized in the name of equal rights.

If you would like to know the answer just listen to Proverbs 28:5: "Evil men do not understand justice, but those who seek the Lord understand all." A judge who does not fear God nor regard man is evil, and evil men do not understand justice.

There's one thing I know about a judge who wants to keep the Ten Commandments posted on his courtroom and wants to begin his court with prayer, he fears God and he regards man. I say may his tribe increase.

The second character is a seemingly helpless widow. She was a woman at a distinct disadvantage. She was alone. She had no attorney. She had no money. She had no influence. All she had was a will to "keep on asking and not lose heart." "Now there was a widow in that city; and she came to him, saying, ‘Avenge me of my adversary.'" (v.3)

Now the key to understanding the widow was this: She did not know the meaning of quit. When it says that she "came to him," in the Greek tense it literally says, "she kept on coming and coming and coming."

If the judge went to the courthouse, she was standing by his office holding the door saying, "Give me justice." If he went to the outhouse, she was holding the door saying, "Give me justice." She had a bulldog grip on him, and she would not let him go until he granted her request.

Well, finally the judge couldn't take it any more and we read in verses 4 and 5: "And he would not for a while; but afterward he said within himself, ‘Though I do not fear God nor regard man, yet because this widow troubles me I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me.'" Notice the word "weary" in v.5, that word literally means "to strike under the eye," or "to give one a black eye." In other words, this judge was saying: "If I don't get rid of this woman, she is going to ruin my reputation." So he grants her request.

Now there is a lesson here about prayer that Jesus wants us to learn, and the lesson is this: The prayer that prevails is the prayer that produces. Prayer can open doors that no one can shut, but it may not be at the first knock. That's why you have got to keep on knocking. Prayer can climb mountains that no man can scale, but it may not be in the first step. That's why you've got to keep on climbing.

You need to understand that with God timing is more important than time. You may make instant coffee and instant mashed potatoes, but God does not always manufacture instant answers to our prayers. One of the great lessons I've learned about prayer is that God's delays are not always God's denials.

George Mueller was one of the greatest prayer warriors in the history of the church, and founded a great Christian orphanage work in England in the Nineteenth Century. When he was young, he began to pray that two of his lost friends might be converted. He prayed for them every day for more than sixty years. One of those friends was converted at the last service Mueller ever preached just before he died. The other man was converted one year after he died.

I want you to understand something about God and prayer. God always answers prayer. Now for us to get our prayers answered the way that we want them answered, the request must be right, the timing must be right, and we must be right. But sometimes one or more of those things are not right.

If the request is wrong, God answers "no."
If the timing is wrong, God answers "slow."
If we are wrong, God answers "grow."
But if the request is right, the timing is right,
And we are right, God says, "go!"5

Always keep praying, not because if you keep praying God will give you what you want, but because God will give you what is best. There is a piece of property behind our church that I began to ask God for close to ten years ago. I prayed for that property for almost ten years. Two years ago that property was offered to the church at an outrageous price. I turned it down, but I kept on praying. Four months ago we closed on that property for about one-third of what they were asking for it two years ago. We are to pray, but we to pray consistently.

III. We Are To Pray Confidently

Now the key to understanding this parable is found in what Jesus said after he told the story: "Then the Lord said, ‘Hear what the unjust judge said. And shall God not avenge His own elect who cry out day and night to Him, though He bears long with them?'" (vv. 6-7) Now you won't understand this parable unless you understand that Jesus was not teaching by comparison, He was teaching by contrast. You see, we are not like the widow, and God is not like the judge.

The widow was a stranger to the judge. We are God's chosen and God's children.

The widow did not have a family. We are a part of the family of God.

The widow did not have a husband. Our husband is the Lord Jesus Christ.

The widow did not have an attorney. Our advocate is the Holy Spirit.

The widow was a stranger dealing with a judge. We are children dealing with a Father.

The widow came to a court of law. We come to a throne of grace.

The widow came to a hard-hearted judge who didn't want to give her the time of day. We come to a loving Heavenly Father who has promised to "supply all of our needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus."

Now the point Jesus was making was this: If a poor widow got what she deserved from a selfish judge who didn't care about her, how much more will God's children receive from a Heavenly Father that loves them.

You see, the worst of God is better than the best of man. If a godless judge will grant the request of a widow he does not even know, how much more will a gracious God meet the needs of children in his own family.

Now you will understand why Jesus ends this entire episode with a question. "I tell you that He will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on the earth?" (v.8) You see, the real question is not: Can we trust God to keep on answering? The real question is: Can God trust us to keep on asking? Now how does all of this apply to the family?

Why do I say the family that prays together stays together? Because when you get a problem connected to prayer, you get God involved in the problem. You keep praying for that troubled marriage, you keep praying for that lost spouse, you keep praying for that rebellious child, keep praying and don't lose heart.

In my book, Friends, Foes, and Fools, I tell a story about a man named George McCluskey. I had never heard of George McCluskey, but I learned that he has had a great influence on me and my family, and I bet on you and yours.

As George McCluskey married and started a family, he decided to invest one hour a day in prayer, praying for his kids to come to Christ and later lead godly homes themselves. Soon he decided to expand his prayers to include his future grandchildren and even great grandchildren. Every day between 11:00 AM and Noon he would pray for three future generations.

Eventually, his two daughters committed their lives to Christ and married men who entered full-time Christian ministry. The two couples gave him five grandchildren, four girls and one boy. The four girls each married ministers and the boy became a pastor. The first two children born to this generation were both boys. When they graduated from high school, these two cousins went to the same college and became roommates.

One of the boys decided to enter the ministry, but the other boy did not. Now he knew the family history and how ministers and ministry was a part of the family legacy. But he chose to go a different route. He became the first member in four generations not to enter the ministry, and quite frankly, was looked upon somewhat as the black sheep of that family.

This young man instead decided to pursue his interest in psychology. After earning his doctorate he wrote a book to parents that became a bestseller. As a matter of fact, he wrote several more bestsellers, started a radio program, and is now heard all over the world on more than a thousand stations a day. You may know his name, James Dobson, the preeminent leader of the pro-family movement for the last twenty years and the direct results of the prayers of a father who preceded him by four generations!6

The proof is in the pudding. Jesus told the truth. If you will get Jesus involved in your heart and in your home, and take every need you have to Him, you will find that the family that prays together stays together.


1 Newsweek, January 10, 1994.

2 Charles R. Swindoll, Strengthening Your Grip, p. 254.

3 Newsweek, "Talking to God," January 6, 1992.

4 Cited by Robert E. Coleman, The Spark that Ignites, p. 41.

5 Bill Hybels, Too Busy not to Pray, p. 74.

6 Steve Farrar, Point Man (Portland, Oregon, Multnomah, 1990), 154-155.

ChristianGlobe Networks, Inc., Collected Sermons, by James Merritt