The writer Bill Henderson recalls meeting a man aboard a cruise ship who claimed to be an expert in guessing professions. "See that man over there," he said. "He is a physician." Bill checked and sure enough that was right. "How could you tell?" he asked the man. "Well," he said, "I saw the caring lines on his forehead and could tell he was a person of great compassion." Bill ...
1977. Just Showing Up
Matt. 20:1-16; 22:1-14
Illustration
Leonard Sweet
Director/actor Woody Allen is known for a lot of quotes. But maybe his most famous quote is this one. Anyone want to guess what it is? "Ninety percent of life is just showing up." But Woody Allen is famously wrong. Ninety percent of life is what we do AFTER we show up. Why do we want to believe Allen's computations so badly? We eagerly embrace Woody's calculus because it takes us ...
... from the well over there and get a drink when you’re thirsty. Grandma sent along some chocolate chip cookies. (They paint in silence for a while.) Willard: Let’s play a game, Joey. Joey: Okay, what’ll it be? Willard: Let me tell you a story. You guess if it is fact or fib. Joey: I love your stories, Grandpa, but I’m never sure if you’re making them up or they are real. Willard: (laughs) Once upon a time there were two jokers. Joey: Like in cards? Willard: No, just two friendly guys that liked ...
... singing “We Wish You A Merry Christmas.”) Asher: Excuse me. I enjoyed your song very much. Tell me, is it a Christmas song? Caroler 1: Of course. Caroler 2: What else? Asher: Fine, fine, now tell me this: Could I learn about Jesus from this song? Caroler 1: I guess not. But it is a Christmas song. Caroler 2: Right. We didn’t say it was a song about Jesus. It’s a Christmas song. Asher: Now maybe you can understand why I am confused. I continued to speak to people at the mall, asking each of them what ...
... and hurts self) Owww! (Stagehand walks by with a sign that reads “30 minutes elapse.”) Mrs. Hornblower: (re-enters, approaches Mr. Rush) Still here? Mr. Rush: Yes, no thanks to you. Mrs. Hornblower: Relax, your time will come. (exits) Mr. Rush: (toward Waiting Man) Well, I guess it’s just the two of us. My name is Rush, what’s yours? Waiting Man: That’s not important right now. Mr. Rush: Say, you’ve been awfully quiet. What’s wrong with you, are you really sick? (sits down) Waiting Man: It’s ...
... happily) A girl, we have a baby girl! Yes, I’d love to see them. I can’t wait! (Nurse and Waiting Man exit.) Suzie: Wow, did you see how happy he was? Bart: Yeah, he was floatin’! Bonnie: Can a baby do that to you? Mr. Schwartz: Well, I guess maybe it can. Written by Jay Beech and David Eliason.
... me the kid was all red and like a prune. Person 2: Babies have their unique appearance when they’re born, that’s for sure. Beautiful child. Person 1: Eventually, wife and I decided we’d better get the kid baptized. It’s the right thing to do I guess. Person 2: Soon after he was born, we brought Bobby to church to get him baptized — we wanted to celebrate his new spiritual birth as soon as possible. I’ll never forget that morning. Person 1: I hope he follows my goals and dreams for him. Person 2 ...
... and go to school. (All Lerts applaud.) Offstage Voice 2: Time to go to church and worship. (All Lerts applaud.) Narrator 2: Everyone felt affirmed and appreciated in the Land of Lert. You could cough and what would they do, these silly fellows? You guessed it — of course — they would applaud. (Narrator 2 coughs and all Lerts applaud.) Narrator 2: And one day, when the FEMA agent came to the land of Lert to warn them of the impending flood from heavy rains in the mountains, they listened very carefully ...
... there lived an old Jewish rabbi. The rabbi visited his hut in the woods from time to time, to fast and to pray. (Monks unfreeze and two Monks talk among themselves.) Monk 1: I see the old rabbi is back. Monk 2: Yes, he is. That’s his business, I guess — none of ours. Monk 1: Never talks, does he? Monk 2: Nope. But pass the word to the other brothers: “The rabbi walks in the woods.” Monk 1: You know, even though things are bad here at the monastery, I feel good, for some reason, when he is around. I ...
... advice? Mother: No, no, no advice — just a listening ear — and some sympathy — well, okay, I am a bit curious. What is your advice? Husband: Stay home — quit running around. He’ll call you. You can’t watch three places at once. Mother: Oh, I guess you’re right. I’ll go home and wait for his call. That makes more sense. Thank you, sir, thank you very much. (Scene shifts back to the ticket counter.) Ticket Agent: Patience, boy, patience. Who are you looking for? Teenager: The Rapper, of course ...
... — Jerusalem. Abab: We didn’t listen to the prophets. We were ripe for the taking and the Babylonians swept over us like a great ocean wave and whisked us away. Geezer: I wonder, has God deserted us? Abab: Dunno. What’ll we do? Geezer: Nuttin’, I guess — hey, where are you going? Abab: When I get down, I pick up my instrument and play and sing the blues. Geezer: The blues? Abab: Yep. We call them laments. Geezer: Laments — what are they? Abab: A Hebrew song that’s sad and mad and glad. Geezer ...
... touched my face. He was there Arthur, but God knows where you were, for days at a time. "I atoned and God has forgiven me because God is good, but you never forgave me. It hurt your pride. I was one of your possessions that someone else had used. I guess I don't blame you, but Arthur, how long will you make me wait for a word — one word?" Mrs. Dowson dabbed her eyes once more and then put on her gray coat. Henry was waiting with the blue Lincoln. They drove through the pylons of Auburn Cemetery. They ...
... the Lord" (certainly not the little green man) proclaimed by the prophet Isaiah in four passages. The "servant of the Lord" texts are included in the section of the book of Isaiah probably written to those in exile in Babylon after 586 BC. Who is this "servant"? Guesses about his identity range from the nation of Israel itself, to an individual with a mission to Israel, to a new Israel awaiting birth in the future, to a future figure who stands (or will stand) at the threshold of the dawn of a new day. In ...
... grandson who played on his college baseball team. "He has the most runs on the team and is just a freshman!" said the grandfather with great excitement. When I asked what his grandson was majoring in, there was a long pause then this response, "I'm not sure. Baseball, I guess. I'll have to find out." But his face was aglow with joy. That glow on that grandfather's face is what Isaiah must have had that day. It's the heavenly glow of the saints whom we see, not just in stained-glass windows but in real life ...
... once what it was like to have the Lord with him. So, for these three reasons — 1) David was prepared physically, 2) he remained true to himself, and 3) he knew God was with him — David was anything but an underdog here. In fact, have you guessed yet who the real underdog is in this story? Goliath. That's right, Goliath. Why? Because the battle here is not between David and Goliath; the battle is between God and Goliath. Poor little Goliath; he's the real underdog. He's not fighting little David ...
... , Lord, Nathan, your humble servant checking in. The most amazing thing happened today. David, your beloved one, wants to build a house for you! How about that?" And Yahweh replies, "You think you're telling me something I don't already know? I know your every thought and his. And guess what? Both of you are wrong about this. I don't want a house. Don't need one. When are you guys going to learn that I'm in charge around here? If a house is going to be built for me, I'm the one who's going to ...
... think our words are ugly or that we are not pretty enough. It is so hard to get things right! Once we are successful at just about anything, we are condemned to repeat our success. I know a young man who won the chess contest in his region: guess what? He lost nationally. It nearly killed him. He still played a beautiful game of chess — but no longer knew it. Our relationship to beauty can be, like David's, fraught with difficulties brought on by the very beauty we love! Zen Buddhists have a theory about ...
... concern for the whole. Society glorifies individualism while community withers. Social clubs, political parties, workers guilds, and even families are in decline. When the church conforms to this trend, it becomes just one more venue for a pleasant experience or a spiritual escape. "I guess I am a Christian," we say, "but I am not a fanatic about it!" That usually means, if you stopped going to church, no one would notice or care. The church is just a random collection of people who happen to make the same ...
... foreigners as the President of the United States.” (1) Sooner or later all of us have to deal with criticism. Let me ask you a second question: Has anyone ever tried to flatter you? That is, have they ever tried to praise you extravagantly? Let me guess we are not nearly as sensitive to flattery as we are to criticism, are we? I chuckled when I read a story about the late, great motivational speaker Cavett Robert. Robert was a humble, kind man who was also a successful lawyer, salesman, and founder of ...
1995. An Angry Heart
Illustration
... these tests. For all the subjects, anger reduced the amount of blood that the heart pumped to body tissues more than the other tests, but this was especially true for those who had heart disease. Why anger is so much more potent than fear or mental stress is anybody's guess. But until we see more research on this subject, it couldn't hurt to count to 10 before you blow your stack.
1996. Antagonist: Antagonists in the Church
Illustration
Kenneth C Haugk
... established policies Functional feedback channels Job descriptions Broad base of responsibility Discipline that works Anticipatory socialization let people know plans United front within leadership Relating To Dormant Antagonists: Act professionally Keep your distance Be accurate, don't guess, estimate Avoid excessive positive reinforcement Tighten the reins Don't seek sympathy from others Don't form a committee to look into accusations, this only appears to give credibility to their charges Don't call for ...
1997. What Has Changed?
Illustration
Arthur Guiterman
In the book Gaily The Troubadour, published in 1936, Arthur Guiterman wrote the following poem. Reading his observations, you wouldn't guess it was written 80+ years ago. First dentistry was painless; Then bicycles were chainless And carriages were horseless And many laws, enforceless. Next, cookery was fireless, Telegraphy was wireless, Cigars were nicotineless And coffee, caffeinless. Soon oranges were seedless, The putting green was weedless, The college boy hatless, The proper ...
1998. Ignorance of the Bible
Illustration
Staff
... where Jesus Christ was born. Among non-Christians, 55% knew Christ was born in Bethlehem. Seven out of 10 Christians answered this question correctly, while 16% named Jerusalem as Jesus' birthplace, 8% said it was Nazareth, and 6% did not hazard a guess. The question that gave the most people trouble was "Is the expression 'God helps those who help themselves' in the Bible?" Only 38% of all Christians correctly stated that that phrase cannot be found anywhere in the Scriptures. Forty-two percent thought ...
1999. Floral Treasures
Illustration
Staff
... the most magnificent flowers from each bed were missing. Filled with anxiety and anger, he hurried to his fellow employees and demanded, "Who stole my treasures?" One of his helpers replied, "The nobleman came into his garden this morning, picked those flowers himself, and took them into his house. I guess he wanted to enjoy their beauty." The gardener then realized that he had no reason to be concerned because it was perfectly right for his master to pick some of his own prize blossoms.
2000. The Star of David
Illustration
John MacArthur
... wood to help put bread on the table. While on a dig twenty years ago, Rob found a rock he described as "purdy and big." He tried unsuccessfully to sell the specimen, and according to the Constitution, kept the rock under his bed or in his closet. He guessed the blue chunk could bring as much as $500 dollars, but he would have taken less if something urgent came up like paying his power bill. That's how close Rob came to hawking for a few hundred dollars what turned out to be the largest, most valuable ...