... :00 a.m. when the examiner finally showed up. Without a word a explanation about his five hour delay, the examiner said, "Let's begin the test. First, please spell baker." The young man responded, "B-a-k-e-r." "Very good," responded the examiner. "I'm impressed. Now let's see what you know about figures. How much is two plus two?" The applicant replied, "Four." "Fine," the examiner said, "You have passed the test. I'll recommend to the board tomorrow that you be appointed." At the board meeting the next day ...
1927. Someday God Will Come
Mark 13:24-37
Illustration
King Duncan
... line. It did indeed look as if some gigantic figure was moving and coming toward them. She stood for some time and looked at it, with Kamante watching by her side. Then she began to explain to him what was happening. But the explanation didn't seem to make much impression on him. She says he clearly took his mission to have been fulfilled when he had called her to warn her. "Well yes," he said, "it may be so. But I thought that you had better get up in case it was God coming." Well, someday God will come ...
... have willingly participated in at some time or another — “padding” our resume. Though a few folks tread perilously close to out-right lying, for most of us it is just a matter of dressing up some dreary job with a more impressive title. The baby-sitting job becomes “child care management.” Mowing lawns and raking leaves translates into “landscape design and maintenance.” Helping serve the food and do dishes at a neighbor’s party is redefined as “catering services.” Especially when we are ...
... have willingly participated in at some time or another — “padding” our resume. Though a few folks tread perilously close to out-right lying, for most of us it is just a matter of dressing up some dreary job with a more impressive title. The baby-sitting job becomes “child care management.” Mowing lawns and raking leaves translates into “landscape design and maintenance.” Helping serve the food and do dishes at a neighbor’s party is redefined as “catering services.” Especially when we are ...
... something terrible happened while we’ve been out of town? (This was followed by an awkward silence). Then the voice on the other end of the line asked, “Did your son die?” (3) Well, no, though we could understand how they might have gotten that impression. Their son had not died. They just wanted the world to know that their son belonged to God: “Christ’s Own Forever.” Baptism means we belong to Christ. It is said that whenever Martin Luther found himself ready to give up, whenever worry for his ...
1931. It Might Have Been
Illustration
King Duncan
... its final stanza. "Maud Muller" is about a young maiden who, while working the fields one day, sees a handsome young Judge riding by on horseback. She offers him a drink of cool water. Their encounter lasts only a few moments, but it makes a deep impression on both of them. Maud is greatly attracted to the Judge, and she dreams of marrying someone of his gentleness and integrity. She could leave the fields behind and live as the wife of a wealthy and powerful man. At the same time, the Judge is attracted ...
... a way of saying that sooner or later all of us will experience the flood waters of adversity. I dare say that some of you have already waded through those waters. Others will someday soon. We need to acknowledge that truth. TV evangelists sometimes give the impression that, if you trust Christ, your life will be one long stream of blessings. That’s a lie. Your heart, your soul, your mind will be blessed but the flood waters will still rise. Pastor Jerome Cooper of Baltimore tells about a woman named Lynn ...
... minimal effort? The word is commitment. The word is dedication. The word is sacrifice. You and I have a choice to make about our lives. Will we settle for being lumps of clay who are here for a while and then return to the earth without leaving any lasting impression, or will we allow ourselves to be the handiwork of God fashioned by His hand for greatness? St. Paul writes, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God not by works, so that ...
... Greek descendents. Maybe the visiting Greeks thought Philip would be more open to their inquiries than the other disciples. “Sir,” they said to him, “we would like to see Jesus.” Philip went to tell Andrew; and together they told Jesus. Jesus was not impressed. He replied as he often did with a somewhat cryptic message about his coming death. He concludes his response to them by saying, “Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it was for this ...
1935. Self Pep Talk
Humor Illustration
... out of here. Hang in there, boy." At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart, and Gramps again in a controlled voice is says, "Albert, Albert, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, Albert." Very impressed, the woman goes outside where Gramps is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. "You know, sir, it's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it.. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter ...
... ,000 in fees came his way. Meanwhile his mother said, “I know he was good, but I don’t think he’s that good.” And his wife said, “This was great for a while, but now it’s ridiculous. It’s gotten out of hand.” [It’s hard to impress the women in your life.] Perry himself said, “As fast as it comes, that’s how fast it goes.” He was right. (2) William “The Refrigerator” Perry is quickly being forgotten. But he had more than his fifteen minutes of fame. For a while, he was a genuine ...
1937. Let Us Play
Matthew 6:1-4
Illustration
Kendall K. McCabe
... is why, on this Ash Wednesday, the church summons us to a season of play. Our Lord has told us, if we are to enter the kingdom of heaven, we must become as little children. And one of childhood's most important occupations is play. Am I wrong in my impression, however, that most of us do not come to church to play, that play is the furthest thing from our minds? Play seems foreign to our understanding of religion, and if it is to be found in church at all, it is best restricted to the nursery and the ...
... my God.” Yet despite the greatness of Thomas’ spiritual insight, Jesus’ response challenges all his disciples to yet another level of faithfulness: “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have faith.” The Thomas “leap of faith” from pouting and doubting, stewing and brewing to creed and confession-—is impressive. But the faithfulness of those who not only “don’t touch” but also “don’t see” is the faith that will be most “blessed” and celebrated.
... my God.” Yet despite the greatness of Thomas’ spiritual insight, Jesus’ response challenges all his disciples to yet another level of faithfulness: “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have faith.” The Thomas “leap of faith” from pouting and doubting, stewing and brewing to creed and confession-—is impressive. But the faithfulness of those who not only “don’t touch” but also “don’t see” is the faith that will be most “blessed” and celebrated.
1940. Johnny Cornflakes Comes to Dinner
Mark 3:20-30
Illustration
King Duncan
... church Timothy George and his wife held their first dinner party in Chelsea for out-of-town guests. They had worked very hard to make everything perfect: they had brought out their best linen and their finest dishes in order to make a good impression. But right in the middle of the main course the front door of the parsonage burst open. Into their dining room in all of his inebriated glory sauntered Johnny Cornflakes. Everyone was startled! Timothy later wrote that he suddenly knew what the Pharisees must ...
... . And I had scarcely a hair on my head. Look at me now. I have a full head of hair. I jog five miles a day. I can take care of myself as well as anyone and, as you may have noticed, I have no trouble talking.” The tourist was impressed. “That’s an incredible story,” he said. “So tell me: How long have you lived here?” The clerk replied, with a smile and a giggle, “All my life. I was born here.” Charles Albert Tindley (1851-1933) was born to a slave father and a free mother. He grew up ...
... to what God has done for us in Jesus Christ. Giving is also the Christian’s recognition of the proper place of money in our lives. Donald Olson quips that “the average American is busy buying things he doesn’t want with money he doesn’t have to impress people he doesn’t like.” And that can happen. Some people are owned by their money. Money is their master rather than their servant. When we give to the work of God we are declaring our freedom from materialism. We serve God, not mammon. The Rev ...
... a national magazine about a number of religious conventions that were held in a certain Midwestern city that summer. The local citizens couldn’t have been happier, according to this article. Sgt. Hayden Kirk, a police traffic supervisor tells why. He said that he was impressed by a woman who, after getting out of her car, noticed that a facial tissue had fallen out. “She went back over and picked it up,” Kirk commented. “Now when’s the last time you saw that?” He also said the trash collectors ...
... of the five thousand flies in the face of such "wait til heaven" ideologies. Faced with a crowd that had tracked him down because of his miracle-working abilities, Jesus is first and foremost concerned with . . . getting them something to eat. Not impressing them with his feats of power. Not show-casing show-stopping miraculous healings. Not convincing anyone in the crowd of anything. Jesus was concerned for their shrunken bellies as much as he was for their shrunken souls. But his actions, accepted and ...
1945. What Would You Like Written?
John 6:24-35
Illustration
David E. Leininger
... written. In it he included all sorts of church activities and community service, involvement with young people, his community, support for the various educational institutions, help with the United Way - one worthwhile activity after another. When the obituary was finished, he was most impressed, but at the same time, most discouraged. Because he realized that what he had written was a big lie. It became a challenge to him, and for the rest of his life, that man made the effort to live up to that glowing ...
... . There were these two men who went up to the temple to pray. One of them was a Pharisee and the other was a tax collector. The tax collector had nothing to brag about. His relationship with God was a mess and he knew it. If he was out to impress God with how holy and righteous his life was, then he didn't have a leg to stand on. His prayer was not a resume. No amount of padding would have helped. The tax collector's prayer wasn't a resume, it was a plea. "God, be merciful to me ...
... Jesus saw that they were getting carried away in their response to this event, he retreated across the Sea of Galilee to his home in Capernaum. People came looking for him there. Jesus knew they had come to find him because they had been impressed with this miracle. And so he decided to separate the sheep from the goats, the highly committed from the casually interested. He began to discuss theology. Any preacher will tell you, if you want to clear a room quickly, just begin a deep theological discussion ...
... haven't seen yet, went down in Person to this fifth‑rate little ball? Why should He do a thing like that?" "It isn't for us," said his senior a little stiffly, "to question His 'why's', except that I must point out to you that He is not impressed by size and numbers, as you seem to be. But that He really went I know, and all of us in Heaven who know anything know that. As to why He became one of them ‑ how else do you suppose could He visit them?" The little angels face wrinkled in ...
... fire. God is interested in your fruits, not your roots! For those who were serious about leading lives that would please God, what John had to say offered hope. His suggestions were not beyond the reach of anyone. Perhaps that is why he made such a profound impression on the crowds. Could John be the Messiah, the anointed one? The one who would lead the chosen people back to the greatness of King David's day? No. John says, "One more powerful than I will come, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy ...
... : his healing miracles, casting out demons. What does he have to say? So they press close, as the text says, "listening to the word of God" (Luke 5:1). Too close, actually. Closer and closer to the water's edge they come, finally prompting Jesus to impress into service a beached fishing boat belonging to an acquaintance named Simon, whose mother-in-law he had recently healed. Simon was quick to agree. He had been quietly washing his nets, his head angled to catch the words of rabbi Jesus. Those words may be ...