... -long road leading into the estate. Then he escorted Groucho through the house, stables, gardens, and kennels, demonstrating the many beautiful features of the dream palace by the sea. Groucho patiently plodded after him, nodding from time to time, apparently somewhat impressed. Finally he was ushered out on the flagstone terrace, and the salesman waved proudly toward the broad expanse of the Pacific. "Now what do you think?" he asked the comedian. "I don't care for it," replied Groucho thoughtfully as he ...
... one/third, while the elderly do little else but eat and sleep. In sleep we let fall the windows of our eyes and steep our senses in forgetfulness. "In sleep the nervous system becomes inactive. The brain is protected from the streams of impressions flowing from the sense organs. The pulse beats less frequently. We breathe less often. The gastric and peristaltic movements are less rapid. The pupils of the eyes contract. "A 147 pound man produces 40 calories an hour asleep against 112 calories awake. Excess ...
... de grace!" And I love what that Arkansan said in reply. He said, "I don't know what you call them in Boston, but out here in Arkansas, we just call them hot tubs!" Don't you love being around common folks? They don't try to impress or overwhelm you. They don't put on airs or masks. And yet somehow, in their simple honesty and in their simple humanity, there's something remarkably strong and there's something terribly refreshing." (Norman Neaves, "Go About With Humble Folk!", September 25, 1988). It's the ...
... ; that Matthew and Luke (or some other person) who fabricated this myth would have been the first to admit that if taken as history it would be preposterously untrue; but that they cannot be charged with lying since they never attempted to give the impression that they were writing history. According to this theory they must have thought that everyone (except the most stupid) would see that their story was a myth designed to convey a religious truth (and presumably that everyone would see what the truth was ...
... we will all move from our place East of Eden to that city of New Beginning. Do you remember Father Jenco? He is a Roman Catholic priest who was a hostage in Lebanon. His Christ-like witness, including his forgiveness of and love for his captors, so impressed one of his Muslim guards that he smuggled a Bible to Father Jenco. This same Muslim guard also fashioned a crude cross from a twisted metal shared found everywhere in that war-torn land of destruction and gave it to his prisoner. When Father Janco fell ...
... one another!" (Dr. Norman Neaves, "Be A Difference Maker!", February 18, 1989, Copyrighted 1990) When we think of John the Baptist's ministry as "forerunner", and our having to play "second fiddle", let's don't forget who John was. Notice the impressive list of names with which chapter three of Luke's Gospel begins -- which gives the setting for the ministry of this forerunner, John the Baptist. There was the Emperor, Tiberious Caesar, and the military governor of Judaea, Pontius Pilate. There were three ...
... it. "Without hesitation," he wrote, "she responded by saying, 'well, of course, the first $100 goes to the church.' His surprise at her answer was enough that he only vaguely remembered how she said the balance of the $1000 would be spent. He was impressed by the tithe commitment, but more than that, it was the self-confident, no-deliberation, no-reservations way in which she said 'of course the first $100 goes to the church' that really had the greatest impact upon him. There was no self- righteousness ...
... out of patience, the Emperor amassed an entire army who marched down and captured Cagular and brought him to the capitol for trial and execution. On the day of the trial, Cagular and his wife were brought to the judgment chamber. Cyrus was most impressed when he saw this magnificent looking warrior. Apparently Cyrus began to reconsider his course of action and asked Cagular, "What would you do should I spare your life?" Cagular responded, "Your Majesty, if you spared my life I would return to my home and ...
... ministry today. I've been disturbed over the years serving on boards of ordained ministry and talking to perspective ministers. Too often I've heard young men and women give as their rationale for being a minister, "I want to help people." That may sound impressive -- but that's not an adequate reason for being in the ministry. all of us ought to be motivated in that fashion -- as Christians especially -- to help people. but something more is needed if we're going to live out a representative ministry for ...
... the book, there are colorful and suggestive references to fools and foolishness. Proverbs 17:28 is a powerful word for us: " Even fools who keep silent are considered wise; when they close their lips, they are deemed intelligent." When you are tempted to impress someone else and want to do so by talking, remember this word -- even fools who keep silent are wise; when they close their lips, they are deemed intelligent. Consider this one, Proverbs 17:12: "Better to meet a she-bear robbed of its cubs ...
... side. Then she said in a very loud and clear voice for her age, "Uncle Steven, you don't know what you are talking about!" (1) I don't know how Uncle Steven finished that message. But undoubtedly it was an experience he will never forget. It's hard to impress the people at home, isn't it? The whole world may be singing your praises, but at home, folks see you as the shy kid with two left feet. Or as the wild and crazy guy who was always in trouble. Jesus was enjoying unparalleled success all around Galilee ...
... a speech on May 25, 1961: “I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to the earth. No single space project in this period will be more impressive to mankind, or more important for the long-range exploration of space; and none will be so difficult or expensive to accomplish.” (3) JFK was challenging our country to put a man on the moon, and we did! Jesus was trying to get his disciples to forget ...
... favorite T-shirt slogans. Two shirts with similar messages tickled the funny bones of their editorial staff. One shirt had a big, bold message on it: "I FINISHED THE TOUR DE FRANCE." The other shirt read: "I’VE HIKED THE ENTIRE APPALACHIAN TRAIL." Those are impressive claims. Most of us would boast about either one of those achievements. But a closer look at each shirt reveals that the truth is in the fine print. In fine print in between the larger words lies the real message: "I FINISHED reading THE TOUR ...
... says the senator. "I’m sorry but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is an impressive clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends, most of them politicians as well. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of ...
... true. The lifestyle of our times seems to justify self-promotion. "If you've got it, flaunt it," is the counsel of the cynical. But don't be deceived. John's way is still the secret of greatness. The self-promoters come and go, but they make no lasting impression on human lives. How can they, when they are themselves all fluff and bluster? There was a toughness of spirit in John the Baptizer, demonstrated not so much by his wardrobe and diet as by a mind that could say, "I don't give a hang what happens to ...
... must be careful, you know, in his choice of texts! They became so angry that they dragged him outside the city, to the precipice bordering their town, intending to throw him over the cliff. It was a strange, horrendous development after, at first, being impressed with the graciousness of his words. Somehow these words bout the Sidonian widow and the Syrian leper were not gracious! But when the people were about to cast Jesus over the cliff, "he passed through the midst of them and went on his way" (v ...
... serious attention to our calling to be witnesses of our faith. Perhaps our greatest problem is that we try to make such witnessing an isolated part of life; the occasions ought, rather, to be part of the natural flow of living. That's the impressive thing about Jesus' own pattern of faith-sharing. His encounters with Nicodemus, the Samaritan woman, and the rich young ruler don't seem to be structured and set up. They "just happened," so to speak. And it's especially significant that each individual was ...
... man who can do anything. Walk on water. Turn a couple fish and a few loaves into a feast for thousands. Even raise the dead. "That's our Jesus, he can do anything." Today's Gospel lesson is a rather loud refutation to that popular claim. Jesus can do many impressive things. I'll not argue that. But one thing he cannot do is make us love him. He cannot legislate love nor control human will. "How often have I desired to gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not ...
... , as a foreshadowing of our Lord, as a decisive figure in the history of God's chosen people. God works through centuries to fulfill his plan of salvation. Samuel grew in stature, which simply means he grew taller, as every child grows taller. We sometimes get the impression that characters in the Bible are not real people. But Samuel was a real human boy, as Jesus was a real human boy. They both grew in height, and Samuel's mother had to keep making a new robe for him every year. As we know all too ...
... :1--28:16). That sounds as if a companion of Paul, perhaps Timothy or Silas, is writing the account of their journey. Perhaps they are, although the style is no different than that found in the rest of Acts. But the "we" accounts certainly give us the impression that these are real stories of actual happenings in the first century A.D. And you can believe that they are. Paul has arrived at Philippi, and he founds the church there, so that later he writes the letter to them that we now call Philippians. Some ...
... ," asked one little girl, "can you balance a ball on the end of your nose?" Well, to be sure, a Navy Seal ought to be able to balance a ball on the end of his nose. Life has a way of humbling us, doesn’t it? We think we are impressing people, and all they want is to see us balance a ball on the end of our nose. Our scriptures for today all have one thing in common: we see a man who was humbled. In the year King Uzziah died the prophet Isaiah had a vision. Isaiah saw the ...
... keep your calling clear. Paul is our model here. He was moved by an irresistible compulsion. You remember his word to the Corinthians (I Cor. 9:16b) “I am compelled to preach. Woe is me if I do not preach the gospel.” That compulsion placed Paul in impressive lines of people through the centuries whom God appointed to be his mouthpiece. You remember Jeremiah – listen to him: “His word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones, I am weary of holding it in: indeed, I cannot.” (Jeremiah ...
... your calling clear. Paul is our model here. He was moved by an irresistible compulsion. You remember his word to the Corinthians (I Cor. 9:16b) “I am compelled to preach. Woe is me if I do not preach the gospel.” That compulsion placed Paul in an impressive line of people through the centuries whom God appointed to be his mouthpiece. You remember Jeremiah? Listen to him: “His word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones, I am weary of holding it in: indeed, I cannot.” (Jeremiah 20 ...
... self-conscious because she had dirt on her hands and face and was wearing dirty, old clothes. A few days later the new neighbors invited the woman and her husband to an open house. This was the woman’s opportunity to make a better impression. She colored her hair, put on a girdle, glossed her lips, applied eye shadow and false eyelashes, polished her fingernails, and popped in her colored contact lenses. She stepped to the mirror and admiringly told her husband, “Now the new neighbors will get to see ...
Call To Worship Leader: The Lord is in his holy temple. People: Let all the earth keep silence before him. Leader: O come, let us worship and bow down. People: Let us kneel before the Lord our maker! Collect Lord of the harvest, impress upon us in this time of worship the need for laborers to go out into the fields and bring those who have not yet accepted you as Savior into the fold of your Church. Give to each of us the faith that will enable us to do our share of ...