... how to make peace in their town. He also sat down and wrote a letter to a farmer friend of his who was having trouble with a bull. Then the pastor called up two messengers, gave them the two letters, and sent them on their way. You can guess what happened. The pastor accidentally mixed up the letters. The message for the town got sent to the farmer friend. The message for the farmer friend got sent to the feuding town. Here is the message that the townspeople received: "You had better see that your fences ...
... our love for God. There was an item in the newspaper about a distinguished banking executive in Charlotte, North Carolina, who took a break from his hectic schedule to glue 216 antacid tablets to his body. Sound like a moron with an upset stomach? Guess again. Our Mr. High Finance had more than a heartburn; he had himself a plan. Once he had slipped into his seltzer suit, he waltzed right outside and went for a dip in a downtown reflecting pool. As the fountain fizzed, the effervescent banker bounced ...
... candy. If I kept giving candy away, soon I'd run out. There would be no more candy left. Now here's a riddle for you to solve: what is the only thing that if you give it away, you still have a lot of it left over? Can you guess what it is? The answer is love. Love is the one thing that never runs out. No matter how much love you give away, you'll always have plenty left over. And you know why love is like that? Because love comes from God. God loves everybody, and He puts ...
... weighing your options. It requires looking beyond ourselves and our temporary emotions. In short, responding requires Christ like character. Responding comes from a position of strength. We don't know what the disciples' reaction to Jesus' statement was, but we can pretty well guess. Human nature hasn't changed that much in 2,000 years. They probably reacted the same way we would react--with a lot of excuses. "But, Lord, don't you realize how our enemies have persecuted us? Besides, who wants to be a ...
... he was doing the speed limit, the man turned around and, going even slower, passed the camera again. It flashed once more. He couldn't believe it! He turned, going a snail's pace, and passed the camera one more time. Again, he saw the camera flash. He guessed there must be a problem with the camera and went home. Four weeks later he received three traffic fines in the mail--all for not wearing a seatbelt. (1) Life can be cruel! In his book titled Not That You Asked. . . . , TV's Andy Rooney listed 100 of ...
... and rolled violently down the stairs, hitting with a thud at the bottom. Jim rushed down, helped him up, and asked, "Are you hurt?" "No," Bob said, checking himself over, "I think I'm all right." Jim, chiding his friend about his theological beliefs said, "Well, I guess you're glad to get that one behind you, aren't you?" St. Paul writes in his letter to the church at Ephesus: "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly ...
... our gift, many of us make the mistake of devaluing our particular contributions to the church. We think our gift is not all that special. "I like helping other people," we say to ourselves. That's just the way I am. There's nothing special about that." “I guess I just have a mind for numbers," someone else will say, “that's why I like the finance team. But I could never do something really special, like teach a class or sing a solo." We tend to create a false hierarchy of gifts. There are the spotlight ...
... many women when she said, "I'd much prefer to set the stage for adventure than the table for dinner." Contrast Mildred's attitude with that of Barbara Rush. Barbara says: "I don't mind taking a risk, as long as I know everything will turn out okay." My guess is that Mildred and Barbara don't have the same threshold for adventure. Some people's idea of roughing it is hiking the Grand Canyon. For others it is spending the night at the Holiday Inn rather than the Hyatt. There is a whole new industry grown up ...
... once said something that most of us will agree with. He said, "I think most of us are looking for a calling, not a job. Most of us, like the assembly line worker, have jobs that are too small for our spirit. Jobs are not big enough for people." My guess is that this is true. Many of us want to believe there is more to life than our jobs--that God has more in mind for us than that. We want to believe that we have a calling. That calling may be synonymous with our job, as mine is as ...
... relate to her pain. Amy Grant reports that whenever she sings "Ask Me" in concert, a strange thing happens. Throughout the auditorium, individuals both male and female will spontaneously rise to their feet and stand throughout the song. She's not sure why, but she guesses that many of them are standing in identification with the song. It is their way of saying, "That's my story" or "I'm Not Alone." (3) Sexual abuse, spousal abuse, abuse of the employer-employee relationship--are all forms of the "what is ...
... her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves. "What are you doing in there?" she asked. The rabbit replied: "This refrigerator is a Westinghouse, isn't it?" To which the lady replied "Yes." "Well," the rabbit said, "I'm westing." I guess everybody needs a westinghouse. Everyone needs a quiet spot--a place that they can get away to recharge the batteries, to re-nourish the spirit. In the 1970s, Michael Caine and Sidney Poitier co-starred in the movie Zulu, which was shot in Kenya. They ...
... by holding onto the rails. But on a frozen pond in Michigan there are no rails to hold onto. So Howie was thinking, "How do I get started? Maybe by holding onto the side of the car and giving myself a push." So he pushes off from the car and guess what happens--he lands flat on his behind. He tries to get up but can't--his feet keep sliding every which-way and there are no rails to grab onto to help pull him up. Just then some neighborhood kids from the church come by. They have been watching ...
... in!" They let him in the gate and he promptly falls into a fiery pit where he is prodded by a nasty looking thing with a pitchfork. "Hey," he cried, "what happened to those Theme Days?" "Today is Thursday," Satan giggles with glee. "Thursdays we tell lies!" (1) I guess if you expect Satan to tell you the truth, you are in for a rude surprise. Let's talk about hell just a few moments. According to a Harris Poll taken a few years back, more than one-third of adults worry "a lot" about not having enough money ...
... because each time the brothers see the robe, they die just a little bit inside. Now, we know what this did to the brothers, but what effect did it have on Joseph? Interestingly, the writer doesn't say much about his character at this point. But anybody here want to guess that maybe he grew up just a little bit spoiled? We see from the third verse that he was a helper to some of the sons of his father, and he would bring bad reports about some of them. Being the favorite damages the one being favored just as ...
... obliged. “Where are you headed?" one of the truckers asked. “Whitehorse." “In that little Civic?" one of them said. “No way! This pass is DANGEROUS in weather like this." “Well, I'm determined to try," was Linda's gutsy, if not very informed, response. “Then I guess we're just going to have to hug you," the trucker suggested. Linda drew back. “There's no way I'm going to let you touch me!" she said angrily. “Not like THAT!" the truckers chuckled. “We'll put one truck in front of you and ...
... inconvenience of squeezing into a middle seat between two people who would most likely hog the arm rests. But nothing good can come from a bad attitude, so she turned her attention to a polite young man on one side of her. His name was Michael. Patsy guessed correctly from Michael's impeccable manners that he was a member of the armed forces. Turns out, he was just returning from a year and a half in Desert Storm. Michael was nervous about returning home, afraid that his family would be expecting a hero. He ...
... yourself. Start praying for other people instead." "I'll try that," the woman agreed. While she was driving home from church she prayed: "Lord, bless our closest neighbors, the Andersons. Give them a millionaire living next door," (5) Well, that's a kind of prayer, I guess. It reminds me of someone else's prayer that goes like this: Lord help me to relax about insignificant details beginning tomorrow at 7:41:23 a. m. P.S.T. God help me to consider people's feelings, even if most of them ARE hypersensitive ...
... the ten best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk: #10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen." #9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to." #8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time!" #7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm." #6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance." #5. "I was doing a highly specific ...
... , his father was seated importantly behind a giant's desk. "Well?" said his father, "Y-e-s . . ." he said slowly, as he inched forward toward the desk. "Uh . . . I , I . . . Well, you know those 6000-watt light bulbs at the rink?" Walter said slowly. "Well, I guess I sort of broke one . . ." And then the story rolled out. And when it was finished, with Walter hanging his head next to the floor, his father slowly rose from his chair. And he stepped with dignity around the desk. And the world grew small and ...
... . He couldn't think of anything more gut-wrenching than having his own children hate him, hate God and hate Christ like that. What had happened to this young fellow, he asked himself, and what could he do to avoid it happening in his own family? (2) I guess that could have happened to Timothy. Don't assume that people who make great leaders also make great parents. And don't assume that because a person is well known for their Christian convictions that they are able to pass that fervor for the faith on to ...
... . Now go to your room.' "'Okay. Daddy, I don't want you to go!' "'I know, honey. But I have to.' "'Why?' "'You wouldn't understand, honey.' "'Yes, I would.' "'No, you wouldn't.' "'Oh well, Goodbye.' "'Goodbye. Now go to your room. Hurry up.' "'Okay. Well I guess that's the way life goes sometimes.' "'Yes, honey. That's the way life goes sometimes.'" Would it surprise you to know that after that young woman's father walked out the door, she never heard from him again? (3) It is a terrible thing to feel ...
... , pad of paper, small garbage can Good morning, boys and girls. Today I plan on writing a letter to a friend. I'm all ready to get started. I've got my pad of paper on which to write. I've got my pencil. What more do I need? I guess I'll start writing. (Attempt to write with the unsharpened pencil) This doesn't seem to be working too well. Can you tell me why? Oh, that's right, my pencil is not sharpened. I can't write with it at all. There's not much you can do with ...
... chirps. That sounds unbelievable, but it's true. If you count the number of a cricket's chirps in fifteen seconds and add 40, the result will be the temperature within one degree Fahrenheit. That way you will know how warm it is and dress accordingly. Of course, I guess it would be easier to look at a thermometer than to count chirps, but it is one way to arrive at the temperature. Jesus talked about counting one time. He talked about a man who built a tower, but the man didn't count how much the tower was ...
... soccer, cheating on a math exam or a marriage? If when dealing with a moral or ethical question, you and I sat down with scripture and talked the question over with Christian friends, then prayed for God's guidance asking all the time what would Jesus do?, my guess is that we would be able to give a good approximation of what Jesus really would do. It might not be a perfect response, but it would be a better response than we are likely to make using any other guide for our behavior. The real problem is ...
... be reminded of earlier failure. Sometimes it happens in families. We lost Joe DiMaggio this year--a true American hero. A 1986 Boston Globe photo shows the DiMaggio brothers--Vince, Dom, and Joe--posing prior to an Old-Timers' game at Fenway Park. Vince once said, "I guess no matter what I do, I'll always be under Joe's shadow." (5) Vince was a fine player himself--but he was not Joe. Can anybody relate to this? Has anybody in this room ever compared himself or herself to another and later regretted doing ...