... what follows with this identifying phrase: "I tell you the truth." It was almost as if Jesus couldn't tell a parable or start a story without saying, "I tell you the truth." The NRSV translates this phrase as "Very truly I tell you," while the King James Version records "Verily, verily I say unto you." Most literally the translation would read in English, "Amen, amen . . ." "I tell you the truth," Jesus says in today's text, "the one who believes in me will also do the works that I do and, in act, will do ...
... into the future. He knows the power of the Holy Spirit to make possible the communion of minds, hearts, and spirits that the very first community of Christians miraculously experienced and demonstrated to the rest of the world. In Luke's vision, the first version of the church was a community that experienced and exhibited a unique set of relationships which enabled them to think and act together, to hold things in common, to spend time together in worship and prayer, and to do all the above "with glad ...
... the gossip reveals what the message held originally. The two reports are almost always hugely different. From mouth-to-ear, again and again, the gossip gets garbled, misheard, and turned backwards so that the original words have little in common with their final version. The same inside-out transition can happen over the years to familiar old sayings as well. How many of you have heard the forceful expression, "Make no bones about it!" In our day, to our ears, this remark means "Make no mistake about ...
... . You must never let it whine and look like it needs to go without whisking the little creature outside. And if you let the puppy get away with any indoor accidents, you can bet that it will return to the scene of the crime for a repeat version of its indiscretion. The same absolute consistency is required of anyone trying to run the gauntlet of the check-out counter with a child in tow. It's an absolute, positive law of the universe that your kid (regardless of age) is going to suddenly, desperately need ...
... , already burdened with the distrust of government authorities, Timothy felt overwhelmed with fear, with shame, and was brought to tears rather than triumph over the issue of his faith. Anyone traveling today in our new age-of-fear can experience their own small version of Joe Christian targeting and fear-barbed questions. Try and go through any security gate carrying your Bible. Chances are you will be singled out as a person-of-interest. My Bible-toting ways have branded me in some airports as a religious ...
... lips and hips. It's estimated that nearly 25 million Americans are on a low carb diet during any given period. Dr. Atkins' prophecy was right. He created a revolution. I'm going to venture a prediction: I doubt that the Atkins-style diets, or its vegetable friendly version called the South Beach diet, will succeed in slimming us down any more than previous diets have. It's the number of calories we take in that makes us look the way we do. But this one man has changed the way we think about diet-food, and ...
... easier. Some Easter eggs attack competitors. In Apple Macs, you can sometimes find the cry "Help, I'm being held prisoner in a system software factory." In Corel Draw, you'll find flying zeppelins. Adobe PhotoShop has hidden an electric cat, which in the Macintosh version, makes a loud belch when its nose is clicked. In Microsoft Word 97, you can play pinball. You can go flying in Microsoft Excel 97. Meet Mozilla in Internet Explorer 5. (For more on Easter eggs, see "Messages from the Hall of Tortured Souls ...
... ) remain straight and unshaken at the center of their being. John Moriarty is one of Ireland's leading scholars of Celtic spirituality and folklore. Moriarty tells a parable that is found in various forms in a variety of cultures. In the Celtic version a collector of shellfish finds himself marooned for the night on a rock. When the tide came in, dolphins gathered at the rock in the darkness and, shedding their skins, revealed themselves as beautiful human beings. Before dawn they all returned to ...
... what? – an exquisite turkey dinner on the cover. Inside this special holiday edition are upscale recipes for, guess what? Stuffing, cranberries, squash, green beans, and pumpkin pie. Although a few snooty ingredients are scattered throughout Gourmet's versions of these old favorites (Shitake mushrooms, black truffles), no matter how you stuff it, Gourmet's Thanksgiving dinner feast is still just good old turkey with dressing and all the trimmings. At other holiday celebrations, family tastes, traditions ...
... loyal, courageous, and probably frequently misunderstood, he must have had to learn the ways of peace and nonviolence from Jesus, confident in the reality of truth and goodness and the triumph of peaceful forces in the end. Simon would have driven an early version of the Jeep Wranger, in combat colors, of course. 10. James, son of Alphaeus: used Chevy Impala No stories or descriptions remain in the gospels about James. He presided over the first Council at Jerusalem held to hear Paul's protest against ...
... pretend they're the latest champion of the universe. This summer opened with George Lucas' newest installment in the Star Wars saga: Episode II Attack of the Clones. It re-energized the lore and lure of that extraterrestrial epic our nonlinear, postmodern version of Homer's Iliad and Odyssey. Once again, all us "kids" long to be Jedi Knights empowered by the Force, mysterious and wise, armed with way-cool light-sabers, and wrapped in swirling cloaks. Who wouldn't find such characters attractive? Everything ...
... that you could have a pew Bible? In the pre-Reformation church the "Word" was considered too sacred to be sullied by the hands of unschooled common people. Translating the Bible into the vernacular was a sin punishable by imprisonment and death. Putting a translated version of the Scriptures into the pew box, so that just anyone could read it and interpret it for themselves, was a heresy beyond all comprehension. Think about it next time your worship leaders asks you to "Now pick up your pew Bible and turn ...
... ." My very favorite gloss on Murphy's Law is Eric Sevareid's Law: "The chief cause of problems is solutions." CBS News, 29 December 1970. (quoted in Thomas L. Martin, Jr., Malice in Blunderland [New York: McGraw-Hill, 1973], 23.) We in the church have a version of Murphy's Law. It goes like this: "No good deed goes unpunished." Kind and Punishment go together. If you don't believe me, just ask Sheila Hull. Each day she gathers up the trash left by drug dealers and users outside her beauty shop in ...
... seven Christians (14%) believes that horoscopes generally provide an accurate prediction of the future. · A culture where Christians can identify more readily the brand of sneakers they're wearing, or the brand of cereal they had for breakfast, than they can identify the version of the Bible they read. · A culture where only 9% of Americans know what the Great Commission is, only 35% have ever heard of John 3:16, where only 37% can explain the "gospel;" . . . a church where only 25% of self-avowed "born ...
... its wonders. Echinacea flowers are a new big cash crop thanks to the rediscovery of the cold and fly fighting qualities of this traditional herb. See this little vial of liquid Echinacea? It costs $22 [or whatever--check your local pharmacy for the liquid version]. It's liquid gold. This herb is even more expensive than perfume. For some of us these and other new "wonder treatments" do seem to work wonders. Colds are held at bay or vanquished quickly. Cholesterol levels go down. We feel better, stronger ...
... our gene pool. A recent series of commercials for a cholesterol-lowering drug depicts a svelte middle-aged woman and a macho man who appear to be tall, tan, gorgeous, perfect. Suddenly the woman trips over her high heels and falls flat. In the male version of the commercial, the man belly flops into a pool. The drug company's slogan? "Nobody's Perfect." You can look great, statuesque and beautiful, and still have high cholesterol. Are you what Lee Silver calls the "gen-rich" or the "gen-poor"? Did you ...
... , just beyond our scrutiny. Has anyone seen Disney and Pixar's movie, Monsters, Inc.? It plays beautifully on this age-old fear factor. Monsters, Inc. is a movie about all those monsters that live behind every child's closet door. In this postmodern version, of course, the monsters use an efficient key-card system which, when electronically swiped and scanned, opens the child's closet door – the portal between the world of the monsters and the world of humans. The monsters simply pop through this portal ...
... to buy a Happy Meal at some time or another? The "happiness" this fat-and-calorie laden repast offers is absolutely momentary. Within minutes adults begin grousing at the child, "You aren't eating anything!" The child usually gets a toy that isn't the version they wanted; is one they already have; or is the wrong gender (boys end up with twirling, Barbie-esque creatures; girls find themselves with a space alien or race car). The fries grow cold and "petri-fried," the nuggets congeal, the drink gets watery ...
... lives. Have you examined the control pad of a microwave oven lately? We recently got a new microwave after the old one blew up (or one of the kids blew it up, we aren't sure). Even though we intentionally got the "simpler," user-friendly version, the control pad still looks like something that could launch nuclear weapons. Luckily, the creators of this amazing machine - which in all likelihood will never be called upon to do anything more challenging than to warm-up cold coffee and left-overs - took pity on ...
... subgroup within late 20th-century culture. Truly they became Dead Heads. Yet as radical as they claimed to be – living for sex, drugs, and (primarily) rock 'n' roll – the Dead Heads today are reduced to a kind of 21st century version of the Shakers. You say, "What?" How could a rigorously celibate, quiet, devoted band of religious enthusiasts who intentionally isolated themselves into remote, self-contained rural communities, have anything to do with a roving hoard of wild-eyed, wild-haired, crazed ...
... a collection of hidden miracles. The human fascination with getting a glimpse of that which is usually kept out of sight is part of the power of the Transfiguration. Only a chosen few were privileged to witness the Transfiguration. Of the various versions of what occurred on that secluded hilltop, the epistle text for today is unique. It describes the Transfiguration from a different place in time. With the clarity of hindsight and the experience of Jesus' miraculous resurrection and ascension to inform him ...
... ? Bible memorization used to be the cornerstone of Sunday School curriculum. Little children who spent Monday through Friday struggling to master "see Spot run" were expected to read and memorize the difficult words, syntax, and ideas of the King James Version on Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings. And so we did. And the words stuck with us. This kind of rote learning has become less popular in the last couple decades. Educators and early childhood development experts critiqued memorization because often ...
... war Niemoller made preaching trips across the US and around the world, confessing his own slowness in resisting tyranny and calling the church to greater vigilance in confronting violence. The most famous line in his sermon is this one [this is the true, uncorrupted version, according to historian Franklin H. Littell]: "First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out because I was not a communist; Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out because I was not a socialist; Then they ...
... you with skin and give you breath and you will live." Remember that old spiritual based on the "Valley of the Dry Bones" called "Dem Bones, Dem Bones, Dem Dry Bones"? It doesn't go through all 206 bones (although babies are born with 350 bones), but different versions set different bones until the entire body is in place. As each bone is set, the refrain is "Now hear the word of the Lord." So hear the Word of the Lord this Easter morning as the Wild Card of resurrection brings your being back to life. Dem ...
... the words put moisture in your mouth. [If you can bring out here some parishioner's recipe of Death by Chocolate, and tease them with its deliciousness, so much the better.] Almost every upscale, elegant restaurant seems to offer their own version of this extra rich, extra decadent, extra artery-clogging delight they dub Death by Chocolate. For committed chocoholics this dessert offers the ultimate attempt to sweeten the bitterest reality life offers all of us the plain and simple fact that... Everybody ...