... a real honor to win this award. I have to say that as I look at the other nominees, they are all great actors and humanitarians but perhaps I’m just a little more human huh? Haha. Brett: But seriously, I’m deeply honored and thankful for this award. I guess I should thank a few people. Well, one actually. I’d like to thank myself for all the good things I’ve done. There are sooo many that I brought a small list so that I might mention a few. (Pulls out a list – you should only show 1 page ...
... ). Are we done? Trish: Of course not. We’re only half way through. (Trish freezes) Jason: Half way? Half way? Don’t you see? It’s only going to get worse. I mean, who comes up with these things anyway? Some sicko that has never been married is my guess! You know… if this was a softball game, they would have called for the slaughter rule… just so you know. (turns back to Trish) Jason: Oh, ok. Well, let’s rock! Trish: Are you sure you don’t want a break? Jason: Me? Nah. Bring it on! Trish: Okay ...
... 6 in it. God doesn’t like 6’s. Could you imaging if I had to tithe $6.66? No way! Gotta get rid of that 6. Gotta cut that 6 off! So let’s cut it in half! Let’s see, that would be $30. Thirty sounds okay I guess. Except it rhymes with dirty. I mean, it would be like giving God dirty money! Like I’m some sort of drug dealer or something! No way, I’m not going to do that to God. So, what’s a good number? Hmmm. Let’s just make it $20. Dave ...
... rattling it off and… Dave: (enters in the middle of her conversation, with hiking/survival gear on…) Teri: …and… (looking at Dave strangely)… hey Barb, I’ve got to go. Dave is about to do something stupid. Yeah. Again. Ok. Bye. (hangs up) Should I guess? Dave: I’m goin’ on an adventure. Teri: I can see that. Dave: Yep. Gotta go. The wild blue yonder is calling me. Gotta hit the trail. Gotta go walkabout. Teri: Is that an Australian accent? Dave: Well, you know, gonna have to sound like the ...
... or the Hulk? (Lights slowing begin to fade here…) Dad: Hmmm, well, I don’t know. They’re both pretty strong. What do you think? Jimmy: I think the Hulk cause when he gets angry, he gets stronger. Dad: Yeah, but isn’t Superman, like, always strong? Jimmy: Yeah, I guess but the Hulk is bigger and he’s green! Dad: Ah, of course, I had forgotten about that. Hey, which Pokemon do you like the best? Jimmy: I like Pikachu.. etc... (LIGHTS COMPLETELY OUT) END
... Those who do not study history are doomed to repeat it." Wendy: I don’t think that’s what he meant. Horace: Yeah, well, anyway. Look, how about we just sit here and talk for a while. I mean, we don’t have to go anywhere right? Wendy: I guess. Sure Horace. That’s fine. What do you want to talk about? Horace: I don’t know. Anything you want. Wendy: Okay, well, how about what’s going on at the White House these days? What do you think about this whole thing with the President? Horace: Politics? Oh ...
... with Jackie, the man was astounded and he said, “Now, let me get this straight. You are 94 years old and you are making phone calls for your church. That’s unbelievable.” “Well,” Jackie said, “If you think that’s unbelievable, guess where I am right now. I’m in the hospital.” “As a patient?” the man said. “Yes, I had surgery,” Jackie said. “Surgery? When?” the man asked. Jackie responded, “This morning.” “This morning!” the man exclaimed. “Yes, this morning, but I ...
... . They performed Chinese songs for us in their native language. Then their teacher who could speak a little English asked us to perform for them. Since the kindergarten was connected to a farm, we sang, “Old McDonald Had a Farm.” When we finished that first line, guess what those Chinese kindergartners did. They shouted back to us, “E-I-E-I-O.” We live in a global village. No question about it. And we need to see other nations and other peoples as neighbors and not enemies. Even though we may not ...
... Jesus affirms anything it is that God is not controlled by the machine. God goes up to heaven on his own accord. He goes up in order that we might grow up. We are not in control of everything in life. As soon as we think that we can second-guess God, or put him in a straight jacket, or wheel him up and down to solve our problem, that’s when we have lost Him. It is not necessary for us to have all of the answers in life. For in the end our faith is more important than our ...
... two insights. On the first he is correct and on the second he is incorrect. Here they are: First he is correct about the lady. She was known in the community as a sinner. Her sin is not revealed to us but most of us could come pretty close in guessing it. What ever it was the Pharisee rightly judged the woman’s character. But here is where he failed. His insights and perceptions about Jesus were wrong. He said that if Jesus were a prophet he would know that this woman was a sinner and he would not let her ...
... Someone I could talk to, My brother who was 5 feet and 9 inches tall Tall and thin with Red hair, ‘The Boy That Was Thirteen’ He died. He died because he happened to breathe in Some bacteria That probably could only be seen under Some special microscope. I guess all I can say is I loved him, I needed him, I miss him, and I don’t understand.” Can’t you empathize with that 12-year-old boy who was missing his older brother so terribly… and who just couldn’t understand why his older brother was so ...
... a time, one day at a time, and trusted God for the future. Some years ago, there was a captain on a Mississippi riverboat. He had been on that job for over 35 years. One day a passenger said to him, “After all these years of navigating the river, I guess you know by now where all the rocks and sandbars are.” He answered, “No, but I know where the deep water is!” That’s what Mary said in effect, isn’t it? I know where the deep water is. I know there are some rocky places out there, but I ...
... Back there in the Garden, God saw what was happening and, in a gesture of divine grace, said, "Here. Let me give you something that will work better... animal skins." Ah-h-h. What a relief. I remember a "Peanuts" strip in which Marcia telephones Charlie Brown: "Guess what, Chuck...the first day of school, and I got sent to the principal's office. It was your fault, Chuck." "My fault?" Charlie Brown replies surprised. "How could it be MY fault? Why do you always say everything is MY fault!" "You're my friend ...
... for naught. As soon as I could get away for a moment, I went to the telephone. After all, I had been INSTRUCTED to call as soon as I knew anything. "Hey, hey, hey! We have a little girl," I reported to the grandparents. "Let me talk to David...David, guess what. You have got a new sister." He was underwhelmed. No big deal. He knew it was going to be a sister. All he wanted to know was when he could come to see her. I told him that he would have the chance that night and to be a ...
... of the common folk. One of the miners there that day asked him, "Is it true that you're the son of one of our wealthiest men?" Kennedy admitted that this was true. "Is it true that you've never wanted for anything and had everything you've wanted?" "I guess so." "Is it true you've never done a days work with your hands all your life?" Kennedy nodded. "Well, let me tell you this," said the miner, "you haven't missed a thing!"(1) One of most common responses to work crises in our generation is to blame us ...
... in the process of the skirmish, Abe's nephew Lot was captured. Word came to Abram about the situation, he hastily put together a mini-army, dashed off to do battle, and quickly routed the enemy and rescued Lot and everyone else. Desert Storm #1, I guess. But God was not done with Abram yet. After things settle down again, our hero's heavy-duty faith begins to waver a bit, and he commences wondering about this great guarantee of beaucoodles of descendants considering the fact that, at this point, he has not ...
... . All peoples on earth will be blessed through you and your offspring. I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you."(1) Wow! I guess we should not be surprised by Jacob's response. He took that stone which he had used for a pillow, propped it up and poured oil on it and called it BETHEL ("God's House"), the least expensive sanctuary in the history of religion. Then he says piously, "If God ...
... Christie), I can say that God moved me to come to St. Paul Presbyterian Church in Greensboro, so, despite some reluctance, here I came. I wish I could say precisely WHY God chose for us to be together, but any reasons I came up with would only be guesses. We have shared some great joys as well as some devastating sorrows. I have not been the perfect pastor who would unfailingly be there to meet every need, nor could I have been. But for the most part, you have forgiven me my shortcomings (which does not ...
... was prohibited for 20 blocks coming and going and there were 5700 police and a zillion metal barricades to make sure nothing got through. All handbags and backpacks were being inspected. Security writ LARGE! I did not stay very long - it was LOUD. But I guess we were safe. We are more openly patriotic now, probably more than any time since the end of World War II. Not only "The Star Spangled Banner," but "America the Beautiful" and "God Bless America." And how many times have we heard Lee Greenwood or ...
... much I wanted some ice cream. We walked and I whined. Finally, she would relent and buy me what I wanted, but she would sternly say, "Now don't tell your parents about this." When we got back home, the first thing out of my little mouth was "Mommy, Daddy, guess what Aunt Dawn told me not to tell you." I was a delight. No, I did not like all those restrictions - no one would. And the older I have gotten, the more I have come to realize that, as noble in their aim as those regulations might have been, they ...
... bar with the new kid down the street, it is an act that produces instant friendship (just as two teenagers on a date sipping the same ice cream soda through two straws know that a special bond has been formed). Do you remember the movie, "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner," and the furor caused by the daughter inviting the WRONG sort of fellow for a meal? Eating together means something more than collectively fending off hunger. That helps us understand why ancient Israel was taught to bring the sacrifice and ...
... church that in Christ, there is no male nor female. But if we wonder why folks drift away, a look at our past can give us a clue, not to mention some direction for the future. What about those things that are best forgotten? The simplest thing, I guess, is to just forget them. I am not talking about old hurts or past insults (although they DO need to be forgotten), but rather old ways of doing things that critical reflection shows to have been less than effective. Forget the old ways, YES, but only after we ...
... Broncos, God HURT the Steelers. As those of you who watched the game remember, Pittsburgh quarterback Kordell Stewart threw two interceptions in the Broncos' end zone. "God could have caused that," said tight end Dwayne Carswell. "He's in everybody's corner, but I guess He decided that we deserved [to win]." In the theology of the locker room, the course of every game and season has been scripted by God to serve divine purposes. So it was not human error that led to those interceptions - God orchestrated ...
... David's distress, he arranged a bit of chicanery to force the king into agreeing to immunity for Absalom, so the young man returns to Jerusalem. Perhaps the ship of state would have had smooth sailing after that if only David had not second-guessed himself. Instead of the welcome home and promised freedom that had been originally offered to Absalom, the young man was now placed under a modified house arrest with instructions that the he should have no contact with the king. Nonetheless, Absalom thrived and ...
... the night to fall, and how does it happen? How does the wind work? How many clouds are there?" One unanswerable question after another with Job finally responding, "I put my hand over my mouth" (40:4b), or in more modern parlance, "Gee, Lord, I had better shut up; I guess there is a lot about life I cannot answer." And the Lord says, "Right. There is a lot you will NOT be able to answer." The message of the book of Job is that there are indeed things that we will never know - at least in this life - things ...