Once upon a time, in a garage in the ancient city of Rome, a man developed a computer operating system that became the digital lingua franca for the ancient world. How his operating system defeated its competitor is one of the great mysteries of all time. There must have been something about its ugly, utilitarian appearance and its proclivity toward redundancy that appealed to the brutal bureaucrats who established the Roman Empire. Even the name of the operating system came from a word butchered beyond ...
There's an old, old story, that I think is still funny. The phone rings and a little boy answers in a whisper: "Hello?" The caller says: "Hi, is your Mommy there? "Yes!" "Can I talk to her?" "No!" "Why not?" "She's busy." "What about your Daddy, can I talk to him?" "No! He's busy." "Well, is there anyone else there?" "My little sister." "Is there anyone else there? Another adult?" "Uh, huh. The police." "Can I talk to one of them?" "No, they're busy." "Is there anyone else there?" "Yes, the firemen." "Can ...
Did any of you hear or see this story back in November. It originally appeared in the Columbus, Ohio paper and was reported in both the newspaper and on ABC 13 News. Here's the headline: Teen locked out of house ends up stuck in chimney An Ohio teenager who locked himself out of the house tried to make like Santa Claus and shimmy down the chimney. It didn't work. Firefighters in Columbus say the 15-year-old was small enough to get most of the way down the chimney, which was about a foot wide. But the flue ...
"Hope springs eternal in the human breast." "Where there's life, there's hope." You might have heard of that fellow who decided that his life had no hope. He resolved to end it all by jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge.A kind hearted policeman saw what was going on and tried to reason with the man but to no avail. Finally, they struck a deal: The policeman would listen to the jumper for five minutes if the jumper would return the favor. For five excruciating minutes the young man recounted a tale of woe that ...
Theme: Exploring the difference between selfish getting and gracious giving Characters: Narrator Old Man Old Man’s Pastor Former Girlfriend Beggar Man In Santa Claus Suit Devout Gentleman The Lord (or voice) Tone: Humorous and thought-provoking Setting/Props: Park bench Two chairs Bible Logo or sign suggesting “Heaven” Spotlight (to represent the Lord) Special white robe Approximate time: 5-9 minutes (The scene opens in a park. The Old Man is sitting on a bench pondering something deep.) Narrator: Once ...
The SS seemed more preoccupied and more disturbed than normal. The idea of executing a young boy in front of hundreds of spectators was no light matter. The commandant of the camp read the verdict. All eyes were on the child. He was extremely pale, almost calm, and he bit his lip. The gallows threw its shadow over him. This time, the Lagerkapo refused to be the executioner. Three SS soldiers replaced him. The three victims were seated next to each other on chairs. A single noose was placed around each man' ...
It helps to have connections. Everybody knows it’s true. It’s not what you know, the cynic says, but WHO you know that makes a difference. Unfortunately in some regards that’s true. In this competitive world where it is so difficult to land a job, it does pay to know somebody who can help you on your way. Oh, your mother’s friend is president of a company? Good for you. Being connected may not help you actually land the job, but at least you are more likely to be considered if you know the person in charge ...
A little boy watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face. “Why are you rubbing cold cream on your face, mommy?” he asked. “To make myself beautiful,” said his mother. A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue. “What’s the matter?” he asked. “Are you giving up?” Welcome on this Mother’s Day. It’s not easy being a Mom. Those of you who have children know it’s not easy, regardless of their age. One Mom says that she’s going to try something different next ...
The end of September means . . . [you might want to Go Live here and ask your congregation to fill in the blank] . . . we are hip deep in football season. So despite the crisp fall weather, and the fashion show of turning leaves, it is not time for weekend afternoon hikes. It is time for the weekend afternoon call of “Hike, Hike!” That means every week for the next couple of months, along with tailgate food festivals and ritual chest painting, yet another “religious” ritual will be enacted by somebody, ...
A little girl had been naughty, so she was sent to her room for a quiet time. Afterward, all smiles, she returned to her family, saying, “I prayed to God.” “That’s good,” said her mother. “Did you pray that God would help you be a good girl?” “No,” she replied. “I prayed that God would help you put up with me.” Many of us are like that little girl. We do wrong, but rather than repenting of our sins, we pray that God will put up with us. And why not? It’s our nature to sin; it’s God’s nature to forgive. ...
William Jennings Bryan was truly a man who answered the call. Bryan, who was born in 1860 at the dawn of the Civil War, was an advocate for various causes throughout his life. As a young attorney he pleaded the cases of those who had little voice. Because he was so well appreciated, he was encouraged to run for Congress in the state of Nebraska and won a seat in House of Representatives in 1892. This was only the start of a long political career wherein he never compromised his beliefs. The economic crisis ...
There is an ancient Egyptian myth which says that, after death, every individual is confronted with two questions that have to be answered honestly. First, did you find joy? And second, did you bring joy? Evangelist Billy Graham says that “Joy is one of the marks of a true believer. This is not a gushy emotion or a forced grin, but the security of knowing God’s love.” Graham tells about a news story concerning soldiers in the Persian Gulf years ago watching videotapes from their families back home. In a ...
As we make our way through Advent inching closer to Christmas, our days are consumed with many tasks. Our “to do” list grows each day. At times we are often out of breath and wondering if we will complete everything on our list before Christmas Day. We gather on this Second Sunday in Advent to spiritually prepare for what God has done and continues to do in our lives and in our world. We have been too busy with all our activities and tasks so that we are in danger of missing out on the miracle of Christmas ...
As the Magi scanned the heavens they noticed a star brighter than all the others in the night sky. It caught their attention enough to warrant further investigation. They felt as though the star had a message for them. They would follow the star to see where it would lead them. Their journey would cover hundreds of miles as well as a considerable amount of time before they would meet the Christ Child. The star of Bethlehem announced the birth of the Son of God to the world. The Magi were the first ...
You know the feeling. It is between 2 and 3 in the afternoon — the “pit in the pm” in the words of biorhythm experts. Energy ebbs. Eyelids sag. Your attention span becomes goldfish-short (3 seconds). You are wiped out, wozzy and snoozy. The urge to grab a cat-nap becomes overwhelming. God invented coffee, and energy drinks, for this time of day. Fighting fatigue we all look for ways to revive, reboot, refresh ourselves for the second half of our day. How many of us this morning long to revive, reboot, ...
Most Christians know about the Holy Spirit’s power granted one morning in Jerusalem seven weeks after Jesus’ resurrection. It occurred on the Jewish Festival of Passover recorded in Acts 2. Many Christians don’t know what John 20 reports. This text is about Jesus’ giving the Holy Spirit before the exciting spiritual event at the Passover Festival. Seven weeks before Pentecost we’re with Jesus late on the day of his resurrection. Jesus’ resurrection has announced that he’s back for good. His students ...
In 1998 there was a film that was nominated for seven Academy Awards. It was titled Life Is Beautiful. Life Is Beautiful is a touching story about an Italian Jewish family that is taken to a Nazi concentration camp during the Second World War. At the camp Guido, the father, uses his fertile imagination to shield his son Joshua from the horrors of life in this terrible place. He hides his son from the Nazi guards. He sneaks him food and tries to humor him. Guido does everything he can to hide their true ...
I came across a “fascinating list” that carried this intriguing title: “Great Truths About Life That Little Children Have Learned.” Let me share a few of these “great truths” with you. (1) “ No matter how hard you try you cannot baptize a cat.” (2) “When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.” (3) “Never ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato… or an egg.” (4) “You can’t trust dogs to watch your food for you.” (5) “Don’t sneeze when somebody is cutting your hair.” (6) “School ...
I heard recently about a young couple at a very conservative Bible college who were very attracted to each other but they had been brought up to believe they needed some scripture verse to justify all their actions. One day the young man said to his girl, “Boy, do I want to kiss you, but I just can’t find the right Bible verse.” He said he tried the verse from Corinthians that said, “Greet each other with a holy kiss,” but he knew that applied to greeting each other at church. He was stymied. Finally, ...
Old Joe was dying. For years he’d been at odds with Bill, formerly one of his best friends. Wanting to straighten things out, he sent word for Bill to come and see him. When Bill arrived, Joe told him that he was afraid to go into eternity with such bad feelings between them. Then, very reluctantly and with great effort, Joe apologized for things he had said and done. He also assured Bill that he forgave him for his offenses. Everything seemed fine until Bill turned to go. As he walked out of the room, Joe ...
Many of you have seen the delightful animated feature, Shrek. You may remember Eddie Murphy as a mouthy, arrogant, tactless donkey who can’t shut up to save his life. In one scene, Shrek, the big green ogre, travels to rescue Princess Fiona, while Donkey tags along with him. While Princess Fiona is trapped in a castle surrounded by boiling lava, Shrek and Donkey cross a wobbly, unstable bridge, and Donkey, out of fear, wants to turn around. In great trepidation, Donkey yells, “I’m not going!” Shrek replies ...
Pastor Doug Henry tells about a television commercial from Citibank. The bank wanted to say “thank you” to their customers for using their credit cards, so they were starting a rewards program whereby you could earn cash back just for using their card. One of the commercials involved two ladies in a grocery store. One lady put her hand on the stomach of the other and asked her when her baby was due. The woman looks at her and says, “I’m not pregnant.” Oops! Not knowing what else to say, the woman replies ...
A young man, active in his church, is talking with a friend named Andy. Andy is a fellow believer who has called him on the phone. They hadn’t spoken in some time. Suddenly the young man blurts out, “Where is God, Andy, where is the God we sing about and pray to all the time?” Then he reveals why he senses God’s absence. He is broke. He hasn’t eaten a complete meal in two weeks, his rent is behind, the water and electricity are disconnected and on top of that he has no money to fill his prescription and he ...
A young woman posted some soul searching thoughts on Facebook recently. Her post was in response to another Facebook post about a teenage boy in Jamaica who was beaten by his classmates. The reason he was beaten is because his father visited his son’s school and informed the boy’s peers that his son is gay. The young man’s father had already informed this young man that he was not welcome back at home because he could not tolerate his sexuality. The father said the boy should be dead but because he is his ...
Perhaps it is the oddity that I am writing this on the Monday before Thanksgiving or it is my proclivity to identify food with each passing holiday that, as I approach these texts, I find myself thinking of another text from Psalm 23: “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.” Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the Fourth of July and I am dreaming dreams of sugar plum fairies, turkey legs, chocolate bunnies, and barbecues. This is definitely a job hazard for clergy. Most congregations revel ...