Joe and Moe were carpenters. Joe was always finding ways to tease Moe, who was not too bright.
One night Joe shined his flashlight up to the 2nd story of a house and said, “Moe, would you mind climbing up this light beam and get my hammer for me?’
Moe said, “Ha! How dumb do think I am?’
“I’m sorry,” Joe replied.
“You’d better be,” said Moe. “I know you too well . . . you’d let me get halfway u...
It was a large impressive waiting room, furnished with the finest of furniture and stocked with the latest magazines. On this particular day, it was packed full of people waiting to see one of three physicians. In the corner of that packed waiting room there sat an elderly lady crying. At first she wept softly, but as the hopes and fears of all of her years began to burst inside of her she began t...
From time to time Chris Rock is noted in the Georgetown Times because his mother lives nearby. In 1999 the sometimes funny and always foul-mouthed comedian was interviewed in Vibe magazine. As usual, what he said was intended to shock, but not the way you might expect. When asked, "Were you raised Christian?" Rock answered:
“I wasn't raised anything, to tell you the truth. My grandfather was a pr...
Of all the pressing questions of the day, a sign on one person's desk asks, "How much can I sin and still go to heaven?" The question seems amusing until we stop to think about it. Inherent in this question is a bold-faced confession that there is no interest at all in pursuing a life shaped wholly by the spirit of God, but at the same time we do not want to be so recklessly sacrilegious that we f...
I have for a long time been a fan of a major league outfielder by the name of Brett Butler. A few years ago he was traded by the San Francisco Giants to their cross-state rivals, the Los Angeles Dodgers. When Butler returned to San Francisco for the first time as a Dodger, he was greeted by some cheers and boos. But then Butler did something that turned all the cheers into boos. He walked over and...
Lots of Christians think of Judaism as a worn-out, rigid old religion that needs to be replaced. Apparently Jesus didn't think that way. When Jesus gave the teachings that are parts of the Sermon on the Mount, he was speaking as a Jew to Jews. He apparently thought of himself as part of a vital religious tradition through which God had been at work for centuries and through which God was just abou...
“The most terrifying fact about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent...”
Most people think that it was Don Draper, the main character in the TV series, Mad Men, who first introduced and spoke of the idea of an indifferent universe, and he did, in fact, use that phrase. But he wasn’t the first.
Others believe that the first was Carl Sagan, and he did say that “the uni...
I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people. (Ephesians 1:18)
“Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? Have salt among yourselves, and be at peace with each other.” (Mark 9:50)
Everyone will be salted with fire. (Mark 9:49)
Is ...
Object: a picture of an ostrich or a toy ostrich Good morning, boys and girls.
I've got a funny-looking creature to show you today. Can anybody tell me what this is? That's right, it's an ostrich. Ostriches are very unusual birds. They're great big and tall, about eight feet tall (Indicate size with your hand). Unlike most birds, ostriches can't fly. Their wings are too small. But ostriches can r...
READINGS
Psalter--Psalms 112:1-9 (10)
First Lesson--Ritual fasting does not gain us the divine favor as brightly as benevolent social action. Isaiah 58:1-9a (9b-12)
Second Lesson--Paul specifies that the gospel of the cross is more persuasive than "wisdom" and oratory. 1 Corinthians 2:1-12 (13-16)
Gospel--The light of good deeds should point to the goodness of God. Matthew 5:13-20
CALL TO WORSHIP...
Order For Confession And Forgiveness
Leader: In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
All: Amen.
Leader: God calls us from our rebellion, from our bondage of sin to seek him and to delight in his ways. He calls us to fast in humility, to serve our neighbor, to share our bread with the hungry, and to bring the homeless poor into our houses. He calls free the bonds of the o...
887. Parable of the Three Candles
Illustration
Three children carried their candles home from church. Each thought of it preciously in relationship to the commitment made in the beautiful Candle Light Service.
One had not even lit the candle in order to keep it good as new. The other had let the candle burn during the service and carried it forth still lit from the church, but it blew out at the doorway. The third blew out his candle and took...
888. Parable of the Wall Socket
Illustration
"Mother, her face just shines," said Linda.
"Yes, she has an inner glow," said her mother. "Her spirit is wonderful."
"You'd think she had a light bulb on somewhere in her head."
"Well, she's happy and she loves people. She's a working Christian," said the mother.
"It would be nice if everyone could look so bright and cheerful," said the daughter. "Mother, this vacuum isn't working again."
"Y...
889. Salt and Light
Illustration
Larry Powell
Webster's dictionary refers to "witness" in such terms as "testimony ... to act as a witness of ... to give or be evidence of." It is understandable that Jesus would use such metaphors as salt and light when speaking of the Christian witness.
Salt. Salt was a valuable commodity in the ancient world, not uncommonly used as a bartering agent. As insignificant as the reference itself may seem, Jesus...
890. Reflect the Light
Illustration
Keith Wagner
In an article entitled "Reflect the Light," Roble Nebres tells about the time he drove to the summit of Mt.Haleakala. After watching the sunset it became dark and he became anxious about the descent down the steep, winding road. When he left the parking lot the median strips on the road suddenly came alive with reflectorized lights. They provided a much needed directional guide on the mountain roa...
891. The Language of God
Illustration
Billy D. Strayhorn
There was a mother mouse who decided to teach her children about the world. So she gathered all of her little mice and set out for a walk. They walked down the hall and turned to the right. Then they went down the hall and took another right. And suddenly they found themselves in front of the family cat dozing in the sunlight. The mother mouse was scared. But she didn't want to give in to her frig...
892. Lamplight vs. Starlight
Illustration
Leonard Sweet
In the middle of the New Mexico desert, astronomers fume about the "light pollution" from all the sprawling cities that are gradually snaking out across the land. Even on the darkest moonless nights, the stars that used to gleam and twinkle so brilliantly look faded and dim. We who dwell in the middle of cities and suburbs rarely glance heavenward at night anymore - at least not to see stars. The ...
893. The Temptation We Face Everyday
Illustration
Warren Hudson
"One night at the end of a special Saturday night worship service," writes Warren Hudson of Ontario, Canada," a thunderstorm unleashed a bolt of lightning that plunged the church into darkness." With the congregation seated in total darkness, the pastor felt his way to the kitchen to find some candles. The pastor handed out the candles to everyone present. Persons lit their candles in much the sam...
894. A Better Influence
Illustration
Eric Ritz
One of my favorite Peanuts cartoons showed Peppermint Patty talking to Charlie Brown. She said, "Guess what, Chuck. The first day of school and I got sent to the principal's office. It was your fault, Chuck." He said, "My fault? How could it be my fault? Why do you say everything is my fault?" She said, "You're my friend, aren't you, Chuck? You should have been a better influence on me."
895. Do You Sell Salt?
Illustration
Phil Thrailkill
In his book, Led by the Carpenter, D. James Kennedy writes:
"A man walked into a little mom-and-pop grocery store and asked, ‘Do you sell salt?'
‘Ha!' said Pop the proprietor. ‘Do we sell salt? Just look!' And Pop showed the customer one entire wall stocked with nothing but salt. Morton salt, iodized salt, kosher salt, sea salt, rock salt, garlic salt, seasoning salt, Epsom salts, every kind ima...
896. Changing the World
Illustration
James McCormick
It was during the early days of television. A workman was placing television transmitters at the very top of the Empire State building in New York City. Seeing him at work up there, so far off the ground, a reporter thought this would make a fascinating human interest story. So, when the workman had completed his task and had returned to the ground, the reporter approached him and asked, "Aren't y...
897. Turning on the Lights Despite the Risk
Illustration
Bill Bouknight
One of the boldest and most dramatic decisions of World War II was made by Admiral Marc Mitscher in the Battle of the Philippine Sea. Late in the afternoon of June 20, 1944, Mitscher had dispatched a bombing mission against the fleeing Japanese fleet. It was pitch dark when the first of the flyers began returning to their carriers. But with the fleet under strict wartime blackout regulations and t...
898. What about the Truth?
Illustration
James Merritt
I'm reminded of a dialogue that took place in a class one day when the teacher came in and welcomed the students and said, "Now I want to lay down some ground rules. First, since no one has the truth, you should be open-minded to the opinions of your fellow students." Well, at that point a young lady raised her hand. The teacher said, "Elizabeth, do you have a question?"
Elizabeth said, "Yes, I d...
899. Being Graceful Salt
Illustration
John P. Jewell
A pastor tells the story of how he and his wife decided to have the church council and the husbands and wives of the council members over to dinner. It was quite an undertaking, but then this pastor and his wife wanted to be salt and light for the leaders of their church. When it came time for dinner, everyone was seated and the pastor's wife asked her four year old daughter if she would like to s...
900. Greatest Hindrance to Christianity
Illustration
Staff
When Mahatma Gandhi was the spiritual leader of India, he was asked by some missionaries, "What is the greatest hindrance to Christianity in India?" His reply was, "Christians." No doubt his reasoning was this: You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt has lost its taste, with what shall it be salted? It is thereafter good for nothing but to be thrown out and walked on by the people.