Radio preacher and best-selling author Chuck Swindoll once spoke to a group of pastors. He told about a man who was mountain climbing in the Sierra Mountains of California. In one particularly difficult section of his climb, he pulled himself on to a ledge only to find a six‑foot timber rattlesnake looking at him with his mouth open and tail rattling. The man froze. The rattler struck. The man moved so that the snake’s fangs barely missed grazing his neck. Still, the snake’s fangs got caught in the man’s ...
Who do you serve? That's a valid question for everybody, don't you think? Now you probably wouldn't think you would have to ask that question in Church, would you? But the truth is we don't all come with pristine purposes. I'm not trying to make anyone feel guilty but we may not even know that we are at cross purposes with God. That was certainly the case in the life of the Apostle Paul. And that's what the Superhero we're focusing on today had to find out as well. Paul and Spiderman both had to find out ...
When I was a teenager two events happened, not too far apart either, which were catastrophic to everything I held near and dear. My allowance at the time was $3.00 a week. Not a whole lot, I know, but the median income in 1965 was only $6,800. Now, I supplemented my allowance by mowing two yards in the neighborhood for $5.00 each. I was saving as much of the money as possible to buy a 5 speed English racer that I had fallen in love with at the local bicycle shop. I had allotted $1.00 of my weekly allowance ...
"Whatever!" It's a mantra of today's world. Behind that one word, that neck thing they do, the rolling of the eyes and the tone of voice what's really being said by many people is: "Do what you want, it’s not like you're going to listen to me anyway, or if you do, what are the chances you'll understand what I'm saying? Whatever!" There's a lack of hope and a I could care less attitude. I don't know where it comes from. I'm not sure the professionals even know. But we're living in a "Whatever" society. And ...
Are you prepared for the end of the world? December 21, 2012 is supposed to be the magic date. That’s less than two years away! This date is supposedly based on a prophecy contained in an ancient Mayan calendar at least that is what the sci-fi thriller film 2012 tried to tell us this past winter. Why we should take this prophecy seriously, I don’t know. However, according to The Complete Idiots’ Guide to 2012 (yes, there is a book by that title), there are more than 600,000 websites devoted to this very ...
If you’ve listened to fairy tales, or if you’ve watched early classic Disney cartoons, one thing becomes unsettlingly clear: a lot of “poor little” princes and princesses shared a common family tragedy. In an overwhelming number of these stories the mothers were gone, dying long before the child in question could be influenced by them or even remember them. The single dads in these tales almost always had dreadful taste in women the second time around — bringing a whole host of evil stepmothers onto the ...
Do you remember the movie 1988 movie, Twins? It was comedy that starred Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito as, of all things, twin brothers. Even if you know nothing about the plot of the movie, the mental picture of those two actors standing side-by-side as twins is itself pretty funny. The setup for the move is that the brothers are the result of an experiment to grow a perfect man, who is the Schwarzenegger character, named Julius. But in the course of manipulating his genes when he's in the ...
"He started it." You've probably heard that from the backseat or from a distant bedroom. "He started it." If you have a daughter, the variation is, "She started it." Children become more sophisticated as they grow up, but the jostling and blaming continue. Blaming one another is a human trait; that's why it's recorded in the Bible's story of Adam. In Hebrew, the name, Adam, means "humanity" and the name, Eve, means "life." In Genesis, chapter 3, after Adam eats the fruit, he blames Eve and then goes on to ...
[Show Cheaper by the Dozen breakfast Clip] Have you heard about the next Survivor Game show they have planned? Six men will be dropped off on an island with 1 van and 4 kids for 6 weeks. Each kid plays two sports and takes music or dance lessons. There's no access to fast food. Each man must take care of his 4 kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, and do six loads of laundry a day. The men have access to television but only when the kids are asleep and ...
Those of you who are gardeners are familiar with Murphy’s First Law of Gardening: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant. And, of course, there is a corollary to that law: To distinguish flowers from weeds, simply pull up everything. What grows back is weeds. Last week we dealt with the parable of the sower and we learned that different kinds of soil produce differing levels of ...
Our nation has a lot of stupid laws! For example, in North Dakota, "Beer and pretzels cannot be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant." In Alaska, "It is illegal to push a live moose out of a moving airplane." In Florida, "If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would if it was a vehicle." And if not the most bizarre, then certainly the most obvious; In Alabama, "It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle." But did you ...
887. Many Ways To a Good Grade
Illustration
Tim Hansel
Here's an example of uncommon creativity in a story, actually a modern parable, originally told by Alexander Calandra: Sometime ago, I received a call from a colleague who asked if I would be the referee on the grading of an examination question. He was about to give a student a zero for his answer to a physics question, while the student claimed he should receive a perfect score and would if the system were not set up against the student. The instructor and the student agreed to submit this to an ...
There was a story years ago in the Canadian version of the Reader’s Digest of a large moose that wandered into a residential area in Calgary, Canada. The moose ended up on the lawn of a lady named Lorna Cade. A Fish and Wildlife officer was dispatched to try to coax the magnificent animal back into the wild. After two hours of absolutely no progress, the officer finally shot the moose with a tranquilizer dart. The moose bolted down a lane and eventually collapsed on another nearby lawn. The reporters who ...
A man was out on the golf course. He spotted another man who seemingly had four caddies. “Why so many caddies?” the first man asked the second. The second golfer replied, “It’s my wife’s idea. She thinks I should spend more time with the kids.” Well, that’s one way of doing it. I suspect he’s the same Dad who was asked by his wife when they brought home their first baby to help with changing diapers. “I’m busy,” he said, “I’ll do the next one.” The next time came around and she asked again. The husband ...
In the old Soviet Union it was common for people who had fallen out of favor with the communist regime to also fall out of photographs. Long before digital photography made it easy to change our memories, a little air brushing could remove an inconvenient commissar who had been purged since the last worker's holiday. Indeed, Soviet watchers would study every photograph published in newspapers and journals to determine the rise and fall of cold warriors. The Soviet Union didn't have the corner on the ...
The apostle Paul must have been a sports junkie. He was always using sports metaphors to make his point. For example, our text: "... I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:14). Paul is "going for the gold" in these long-running Olympics that we call the Christian life. Have you ever wished you could be a spiritual giant like Paul or any of the other great saints of the church? Sure, we would like to be great Christians — faithful ...
When Moses descended from the heights of Mount Sinai, he juggled in his arms not two but three Tablets of the Covenant, with five commandments inscribed on each. At least that’s how Mel Brooks tells it in his classic comedy “History of the World, Part I.” ‘Hear me, o hear me! All pay heed!’ the movie Moses proclaims. ‘The Lord, the Lord Jehovah, has given unto you these fifteen . . . [One stone tablet drops and shatters. A perplexed Moses looks down and mutters ‘Oy!’] . . . ten, TEN commandments for all to ...
Our lesson today is on love. Now, obviously we’re not talking about romantic love, though sometime we might talk about romantic love. After all, it’s an important part of our lives. I read something funny recently. It was an announcement that was made in the chapel of a very conservative church college some years back. It went something like this: “On this campus there is to be absolutely no physical contact of any kind between male and female students. There is only one legitimate exception to this rule. ...
Five words and regardless of where you are on the political spectrum you would agree they became one of the most famous political slogans of any political candidate in the last 50 years, “Change We Can Believe In.” Regardless of what you think about the slogan or even the man, one thing we all can agree on is that change is difficult. The older you get the harder change is. There are a lot of people I know who are more comfortable with putting up with old problems than they are finding new solutions. They ...
Two young men walk into church. They both are the same age -22, same height, same weight, and same build. The first young man walks in with a crisply starched long-sleeved Polo shirt, freshly ironed slacks, clean-cut, fresh-shaven, and wearing shoes in the latest style. The second male walks in wearing a t-shirt, blue-jeans with more holes than pockets, flip-flops, tattoos on both arms, a nose-ring and orange hair. Immediately, if we are honest, most of us would look at the first male and think, “He needs ...
Today we’re going to talk about casting out demons or, as Mark calls them in today’s lesson, impure spirits. It’s not a subject that we talk about very much in church anymore, even though it figures prominently in the New Testament. Maybe at the end of today’s service I will perform an exorcism and cast out a demon . . . or not. Perhaps you have someone in mind that you think could profit from such an exorcism. But enough about members of Congress . . . Some of you will remember a movie that caused quite a ...
During a wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the priest with an unusual offer. “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor, and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that part out.” He slipped the priest the cash and walked away. The wedding day arrived. When it came time for the groom’s vows, the priest looked the young man in the eye and said, “Will you promise ...
The great interest of this section lies in Paul’s speech to the council of Areopagus. It provides us with a paradigm of his preaching to pagans, where, rather than “beginning with Moses and all the prophets” (Luke 24:27), that is, with the “revealed theology,” his approach was by way of “natural theology.” An earlier example of this method was seen in 14:15–17. But Paul was here facing a very different audience from the Lystrans. With them he had spoken of God as the one who gave the seasons and the crops ...
God’s Definitive Revelation The magnificent opening verses of this passage provide an immediate expression of the author’s theological perspective: he moves from past revelation to definitive revelation, from God’s word to the OT “fathers” to his final word through his Son, Jesus Christ. He gives first his doctrine of Christ in order to set the tone for the entire book. The introductory christological prologue in these verses is thus similar to the prologue of the Fourth Gospel (John 1:1–18) in its ...
4:1 The rest offered to Israel was not entered into and God still offers the promise of entering his rest to his people (cf. vv. 3, 6, 11). It follows that that promise cannot have referred to entry and possession of the land, but must have been a more fundamental kind of rest. The key word rest is drawn from the original quotation (3:11; cf. 3:18) and is the subject of the exposition that follows (cf. vv. 3–5, 8, 10, 11). Let us be careful (cf. 1 Cor. 10:12) is perhaps a little weak for the strong warning ...