... look rather difficult. But armed with mitt and mask, Scrap Iron never flinched from any challenge. Batters often missed the ball and caught his shin. Their foul tips nipped his elbow. Runners fiercely plowed into him, spikes first, as he defended home plate. Though often doubled over in agony, and flattened in a heap of dust, Clint Courtney never quit. Invariably, he'd slowly get up, shake off the dust, punch the pocket of his mitt once, twice, and nod to his pitcher to throw another one. The game would go ...
... charge over a vast amount of money. The details of how the first two servants manage to increase the initial funds given to them by 100 percent is not revealed. Nor is the amount of time revealed that it takes these industrious investors to double their fortunes. Instead it is only the actions of the third servant that are described: he “dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.” No matter how much “Occupy Wall Street” fervor is floating about, it still shocks our fiscal sensibilities ...
878. Positive Dieting
Humor Illustration
... positive retorts to dilute the negative phrases. One of the most impossible phrases was, "I can't believe I ate the whole thing!" What's good about this? To a dieter, these words signify a definite failure. So our endings were a little sketchy: "Well, I just got a double dose of nutrition." "Now I have more room in the fridge for healthy foods." "My parents didn't raise a quitter." "I cleaned my plate so I won't feel so sorry for the starving children in Africa." "We're going to save money. Now we don't ...
879. God Chose Amateurs
Luke 2:1-7, Luke 2:8-20
Illustration
Bruce Larson
... all the appropriate knowledge and social clout to interpret the message to the people. But God chose to share this message with, a young unwed woman first, then with shepherds, members of an outcast and untrustworthy caste. And when he finally started his ministry he doubled down and enlisted fisherman. And that is how God chooses to operate even today. It is the average people in the streets or in the pews who have spread His message and impacted society. Not to insult the pastor's position in the church ...
... You’re my friend, aren’t you, Chuck?” Peppermint Patty responds, “You should have been a better influence on me!” That’s the spirit of the times, isn’t it? It’s like a headline that appeared in a small-town newspaper: “State population to double by 2040; babies to blame.” I don’t believe we can blame babies for being born. An interesting book came out years ago by an author named Count Saint Exupery. The book was called Wind, Sand, and Stars. One incident in it is especially inspiring ...
... this was a serious call, but Cornelius was equally determined that he wasn’t going to be the object of an April Fools’ Day prank. He told the guy that if he drove all the way out to Los Angeles and it was a joke, he would charge the caller double plus a fee for the extra tow truck that Cornelius would require. The caller agreed and so Cornelius drove to Los Angeles and, indeed, there was a dead elephant waiting on him. He wouldn’t believe it until he saw it with his own eyes. I mean, getting such a ...
... lose sometimes just a little bit, but sometimes their house payment or their groceries. According to a report in the New York Times, gamblers in Las Vegas casinos lost $6.1 billion in one year alone. As someone familiar with the lure of gambling has said, the only way to double your money in Vegas is to fold it and put it in your pocket. Of course you don’t have to go to Vegas to lose money gambling. I’m not going to ask if any of you have ever bought a lottery ticket. Someone has called the lottery a ...
883. When A Clown Was Just Right
Mark 3:20-35
Illustration
William G. Carter
... answered. "Are you a minister?" somebody asked. "Yes, actually I am." "Come quickly," said the voice, "our child is dying of leukemia." Bill dropped everything. He ran out to his rental car and drove to the hospital. He parked the car, ran up the steps, through the double doors, and down the hall. Suddenly it hit him: he was still dressed as a clown, with a white face, red nose, orange hair, and green suspenders. He didn't have time to change. It was an emergency. He kept going. He found the room, knocked ...
884. Only In America
Humor Illustration
Only in America....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in America....do people order double cheeseburgers,large fries,and a diet coke. Only in America....do banks leave vault doors open but chain the pens to the counters. Only in America.... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. Only in America....do we ...
... fitted for the ministry because he was a "right harmless laddie." Say what? Don't tell John. The Bible never thinks of religion as a discussion of nice, cozy, and harmless table talks. The word, rather, is described as "living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart" (Hebrews 4:12). For John, this was a time for slicing and dicing. Is that what you need on the way to Bethlehem ...
... challenge, my inclination was, "Thanks, but no thanks." To make a long story short, we went anyway, and we were exceedingly glad that we did. The years that we spent there were marvelous and God tremendously blessed: a 25% increase in membership; worship participation double what it was at the beginning; a 400% increase in the church budget; an increase in benevolence giving to the extent that the congregation became number one in its Presbytery in that category; a new manse that was paid for in full within ...
... Jesus: "Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me" (Luke 12:13). Apparently the man's older brother refused to give him what he felt he was due. The laws of inheritance in that day stipulated that the elder brother would receive a double portion of the legacy (Deuteronomy 21:17), then the balance distributed. For whatever reason, this fellow was feeling cheated and he wanted Rabbi Jesus to act as Probate Judge, just as Moses had done centuries before (Numbers 27:1-11). But Jesus would have ...
Call To Worship Leader: I’m glad we’re here. In our hemisphere, winter is settling in and we know that there is only a double-digit count until Christmas Day. People: It’s true — the days come and go; the years pass quickly. Holidays take flight almost before the sun goes down. Leader: All the while, we say our prayers and sing our songs; we hope for better tomorrows and restful nights. People: The year ...
... if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you white as wool. — Isaiah 1:18 (NLT) I will be their God, and they shall be my people ... and I will remember their sins no more. — Hebrews 8:10, 12 Do you believe that? Jesus gives us a double promise; to forgive and forget. But we don't, do we? Not as easily, anyway. We have a good memory. We are more like Sarah who entertains the ghosts of our past that still linger, robbing us of sleep and peace. What these demons that go bump in the night ...
... front and sides of the chamber, two more men come in. No, actually they do not come in; they are brought in. Chained and raggedy, they are the prisoners who are being called to appear before these assembled leaders. We in the audience do a double take when we see them. We know these men! They are Peter and John, the beloved men who were part of Jesus' inner circle during his earthly ministry. These apostles had been apprehended and kept in custody. For them, this is judgment day. These erstwhile Galilean ...
... But even when we have traveled to the spot, like Elijah's protégé, Elisha, we still face an uncertain future. Elijah asked Elisha, "Tell me what I may do for you before I am taken from you" (v. 9). Elisha responded, as we might respond, "Let me inherit a double measure of your spirit" (v. 9). Let me have a faith that can endure all the challenges of the future. Let me grasp the truth in a way that cannot be challenged. Elijah responded, "If you see me as I am being taken from you, then it will be granted ...
... up with someone like you. The problem, of course, is that both of those formulas sound a lot like washing in the muddy Jordan seven times. Surely it requires something more dramatic than that. I'll give you a more dramatic suggestion. Go home today and double your pledge to whatever church you belong. If it's truly God's house, that is a worthy investment. Follow the advice I have given you on stress and marriage for six months. If these suggestions are not true, ask for your money back. God has been ...
... preparer for the coming Messiah. Luke’s text tells us much less about exactly HOW John baptized, and much more about WHY John baptized and what participating in this ritual meant for those who were baptized. The thrust of John’s message is double-edged. He proclaims both impending judgment and the need for the people to take action in the face of that judgment. For John to be “ready” is to “repent.” Although the NRSV does not translate it, vs. 7 actually opens with “Therefore,” connecting ...
... preparer for the coming Messiah. Luke’s text tells us much less about exactly HOW John baptized, and much more about WHY John baptized and what participating in this ritual meant for those who were baptized. The thrust of John’s message is double-edged. He proclaims both impending judgment and the need for the people to take action in the face of that judgment. For John to be “ready” is to “repent.” Although the NRSV does not translate it, vs. 7 actually opens with “Therefore,” connecting ...
... by two amazingly speedy cheetahs. Suddenly the whole chase changed course and headed into the roadway. Predator and prey came racing through the lineup of parked cars, then disappeared into the trees on the other side of the road. Moments later one gazelle doubled back — again, running towards the road — with the cheetah pair in hot pursuit. Feeling the hot breath of death on its heels, the terrified gazelle made an incredible choice. It hurled itself INTO a Toyota minivan whose side door had been slid ...
... facilities. Never does the thought of “sharing the wealth” with those who might be in need ever cross the mind of this man. Instead his single dream and brainstorm is “bigger barns.” As any farmer/agri-entrepreneur knows, a great harvest year is a double-edged sword. Yes, there is a lot more to harvest and sell. But with a glutted market the price for the commodity drops. Supply and demand. The rich man in Jesus’ parable not only needs more storage space because of the bumper crop; he wants ...
... facilities. Never does the thought of “sharing the wealth” with those who might be in need ever cross the mind of this man. Instead his single dream and brainstorm is “bigger barns.” As any farmer/agri-entrepreneur knows, a great harvest year is a double-edged sword. Yes, there is a lot more to harvest and sell. But with a glutted market the price for the commodity drops. Supply and demand. The rich man in Jesus’ parable not only needs more storage space because of the bumper crop; he wants ...
... , “Woman, you are set free from your ailment.” It is only after Jesus lays his hands upon her, and she suddenly straightens up and stands tall, that this woman begins “praising God.” She immediately affirms that the “spirit” that had bent her over and doubled her up for so many years was banished by the power of God. But what she thought of Jesus himself we do not hear. This dramatic healing doesn’t sit well with everyone. Jesus was a “guest speaker” at this synagogue. Anyone who has ever ...
... , “Woman, you are set free from your ailment.” It is only after Jesus lays his hands upon her, and she suddenly straightens up and stands tall, that this woman begins “praising God.” She immediately affirms that the “spirit” that had bent her over and doubled her up for so many years was banished by the power of God. But what she thought of Jesus himself we do not hear. This dramatic healing doesn’t sit well with everyone. Jesus was a “guest speaker” at this synagogue. Anyone who has ever ...
... somewhat when they lean forward. So they often go through the day leaning slightly forward, and gradually their spine begins to fuse. The more they lean in order to relieve the pain, the greater the angle, until a patient might be bent almost double, as the lady in our story.” Treatment focuses on relieving back and joint pain, and preventing or correcting spinal deformities. Even today, notes Dr. Wilson, we don’t have any medicines that can actually cure this condition. (1) If you have any compassion ...