... you’ll not get far!” “I’d rather sleep.” “If you lie horizontal still —” “I’d rather sleep.” “— we’ll never, ever get up the hill!” “I’d rather sleep.” “If only you would say, ‘No doze for me.’ ” “I’d rather sleep.” “A vacation we could take Mom and me, we three.” “I’d rather sleep.” So Mom and Dad left Philippe. They let him sleep. Scene 3 Now as Philippe began to nap, as in a dream, at the door did someone rap. “Come in, come in,” Philippe ...
... a song about Jesus. It’s a Christmas song. Asher: Now maybe you can understand why I am confused. I continued to speak to people at the mall, asking each of them what Christmas means. I spoke to children, to women, to men. I heard about presents, parties, vacations from school, ski trips, cookies, family dinners. I was about to give up when I saw a line of children waiting to talk to an old gentlemen in a bright red suit. “Perhaps a child will have my answer,” I thought. After all, it was a child who ...
... getting sick of waiting. I have to beat that letter carrier home. Mr. Schwartz: (to Waiting Man) How about you? What are you waiting for? We’ve all shared our stories. What’s yours? Bonnie: Are you waiting for something fun? Like maybe a vacation to Bermuda? Bart: Yeah, you’ve been awfully quiet, mister. What are you waiting for, anyway? Waiting Man: I’m waiting for something very exciting. Bonnie: Oooohh, maybe you’re going to get married. Mr. Schwartz: Exciting, huh? Maybe you’re a Reader’s ...
... casual." Becoming new is a gesture of beauty almost too casual. It is a set of incremental steps in learning to want what we have rather than becoming the prisoner of our own desires. Do we really need a full sabbatical to do it? Do we really need a long vacation to become new or can we put in place very quiet simple rituals that allow us to be who we are slowly? This casual way is about style but not just style. It is not about how old we are or how young we are. We are the right age ...
755. Saturate Your Heart
Illustration
James M. Gray
... reading Ephesians," said the man. Gray was surprised by this simple response. He had read Ephesians many times but had never experienced the same strength he saw in his friend. Noticing Fray's puzzled look, the man explained. "On one occasion, when I was on a short vacation, I took a pocket edition of Ephesians with me. Lying down one afternoon, I read all six chapters. My interest was so aroused that I read the entire epistle again. In fact, I did not finally lay it down until I had gone through it some 15 ...
756. The Bus Ride to Salvation
Illustration
Max Lucado
Norman Geisler, as a child, went to a Daily Vacation Bible School because he was invited by some neighbor children. He went back to the same church for Sunday School classes for 400 Sundays. Each week he was faithfully picked up by a bus driver. Week after week he attended church, but never made a commitment to Christ. Finally, during ...
757. How Does a Father Do It?
Illustration
James Dobson
... over dishwashing, to bedtime prayers. Create family rituals: Saturday morning pancakes, Sunday night pizza, Monday night health club, Thursday night piano recital. Include children in your planning and decision-making regarding things like weekly chore assignments, summer vacation plans and special monthly events. Hold family councils once a month to discuss pet peeves, rules, rewards and punishments. Be both loving and firm in setting, negotiating and enforcing rules. Let the answering machine take calls ...
758. Lonely in Moscow
Illustration
Charles Colson
... to buy Violetta a handmade Viennese gown. Then came three photographs of embassy employees thought to be CIA agents, and another $1,800 payment. Sasha proposed an undercover trip back to Moscow, where Clayton could at last visit Violetta and receive KGB training. Clayton arranged for vacation leave from the embassy. But now he began to get nervous. He started to drink more; he lay awake nights trying to think of a way out of the KGB web. He hadn't realized that when he traded the trust of his nation for sex ...
759. Dr. Gumperson's Final Irony
Illustration
Source Unknown
... tickets has the least chance of winning. That good parking places are always on the other side of the street. That a child can be exposed to the mumps for weeks without catching them but can catch them without exposure the day before the family goes on vacation. Gumperson, it is said, met an untimely death shortly after WWII. He was walking along a highway, dutifully obeying the rule of walking to the left facing traffic, when hit from behind by an Englishman who was hugging the left side of the road.
760. Searching for Delaware
Illustration
Staff
... Larry watched for license plates. The trip to Mexico netted him plates from 24 states, and while we were there he saw four more. So when we started back, he was over halfway to having "collected" all 50. Our return trip was during the peak vacation season, and to top it off, we went through Yellowstone National Park a license-plate collector's paradise. By the morning of the second day there, he had just one more state to go: Delaware. Larry became obsessed with finding a license plate from Delaware. When ...
761. Finagle's Laws
Illustration
Staff
... Research Do not believe in miracles rely on them. Experiments must be reproducible they should fail the same way. Always verify your witchcraft. First draw your curves then plot your readings. Be sure to obtain meteorological information before leaving on vacation. A record of data is useful it indicates that you've been working. Experience is directly proportional to equipment ruined. To study a subject best understand it thoroughly before you start. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing. Addendum ...
762. A Job Well Done
Col 3:7
Illustration
H. A. Ironside
When I was a boy, I felt it was both a duty and a privilege to help my widowed mother make ends meet by finding employment in vacation time, on Saturdays and other times when I did not have to be in school. For quite a while I worked for a Scottish shoemaker, or "cobbler," as he preferred to be called, an Orkney man, named Dan Mackay. He was a forthright Christian and his little shop was a ...
763. A Tooth For A Tooth
Illustration
Albert L. Hock
... need of expensive repair and offered to take care of it. The boy refused. He said his family could not afford it. The dentist finally persuaded the lad to let him do the repairs and the dentist never sent a bill. That summer the dentist left town for an extended vacation. When he returned, he found that his lawn had been well cared for during all that time by the teenager whose tooth he had repaired. The lad just smiled and said, "A tooth for a tooth."
764. No Price Too High
Humor Illustration
There is an old story about a woman who was vacationing in Florida where she discovered a very valuable piece of art that was being sold. She sent her husband a telegram describing the work and informing him of the price. Her husband wired her back immediately, whereupon she went directly to the gallery and purchased the piece of art. Taking ...
765. Vocabulary Lesson
Humor Illustration
A little boy was spending his vacation at his grandmother's house in Wyoming. This was the first time in his life that he had seen real cowboys, and he couldn't control his excitement. He blurted out, "Look, Grandma, those cowboys are bowlegged!" The grandmother, being a very genteel lady, was deeply embarrassed by his rough ...
766. Should I Know You?
Humor Illustration
Coach Don Shula tells a priceless story on himself. He said that he wished to take his wife to a quiet place for vacation. They chose a small seaside town in Maine, where they could relax without people recognizing them. When they arrived, it was raining so they decided to go see a movie. When they entered the theatre, the house lights were on and they were surprised that the small handful of people ...
767. The Not-So-Perfect Child
Humor Illustration
Some tip-offs that your children may have some flaws--even though you may think he or she is perfect: Your child gets extra credit for being absent. Neighbors always have their cement poured while you are on vacation. You find the phone off the hook and the mailbox in his room. You are shopping with your child/children and a clerk gives you a flyer from the store across the street. (Mary McBride, PLEASE DON''T CALL ME COLLECT ON MOTHER''S DAY, New York: Doubleday & Co., 1983)
768. Taken to the Cleaners
Humor Illustration
... housewife. On February 18, 1981, Mrs. Wilson looked out her window in Harlow, Essex, and saw a group of men loading her neighbors'' priceless collection of Persian carpets into a moving van. "What are you doing?" she called, knowing her neighbors were on vacation. "We're taking them to be cleaned, madam," the men replied. Quick as a flash Mrs. Wilson decided to take advantage of the service they offered. "Will you please take mine, too?" she asked. The men obliged. They, of course, were burglars. (from ...
769. Little Fingers
Humor Illustration
Across the Internet came a gross, but hilarious story of a mother who was trying to pack for vacation. Her 3-year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, the little girl said, "Mom, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, her mother reached out and took the little girl's fingers and stuck ...
770. Register at the Pearly Gates
Humor Illustration
On the third day, a bewildered, old man approaches the registration desk where Jesus is working. St. Peter is getting ready for his annual three-week vacation, and Jesus volunteers to fill in for him at the Pearly Gates. "It's no big deal," St. Peter explains. "Sit at the registration desk, and ask the incoming people a little about their lives. Then tell them to go to housekeeping to pick up their wings." The first man ...
771. I Was Born In A Small Town
Humor Illustration
... . You don't buy all your vegetables at the grocery store. The city limits signs are both on the same post. The mayor had to annex property to eat a foot long hot dog. The local gas station sells live bait. You go to the State Fair for your family vacation. You get up at 5:30 am and go down to the coffee shop. You're on a first name basis with the county sheriff. You have the number of the Co-op on speed dial. All your radio-preset buttons are country. Your mayor is also your garbage hauler ...
... electrocuted Fluffy.” Husband: “Darn it! Touchdown.” Wife: “The vet says he’ll be better in a week.” Husband: “Can you get me a Coke?” Wife: “The plumber told me that he was happy that our pipe broke because now he can afford to go on vacation.” Husband: “Aren’t you listening? I said I could use a Coke!” Wife: “And Stanley, I’m leaving you. The plumber and I are flying to Acapulco in the morning.” Husband: “Can’t you please stop all that yakking and get me a Coke? The ...
773. Aspiring young writers
Humor Illustration
... across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. Long separated ...
774. High Expectations
Humor Illustration
... fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks' vacation, fourteen paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years - say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?" And the interviewer replied ...
... had changed. Orange pumpkin lights were replaced by white or multicolored twinkling lights. A small town policeman looks forward every year to hanging his outside Christmas lights. His goal is to measure up to Chevy Chase's outlandish display in the movie, Christmas Vacation. So far his record is 18,000 twinkling lights — only 7,000 more to go! Like John Grishman's book, Skipping Christmas, Frosties begin to adorn yards and rooftops. Let's not forget the Dr. Suess character, the "Grinch Who Stole ...