There is a church in Columbia, SC near the seminary I attended which has one of those bulletin boards out front to list service times, special events, sermon subjects, and so on. For several years there was one other thing on that bulletin board, one of those little "sentence sermons" that we see so often. It said, "The same Bible that says BELIEVE also says BEHAVE." I do not know if there were any significance to the fact that it was located so near to all us seminary students; perhaps someone figured we ...
Are you ready for Christmas? Foolish question. We still have 2½ weeks to go. I was visiting with Mary Knapp in the hospital yesterday and we got on the subject of Christmas - she said, "Why are you thinking about this now. You're a MAN. You've got LOTS of time." Good point. For what it's worth, if you ARE thinking about it, and you are wondering what you might get for that special someone who is difficult to buy for, I may be able to help. This week on the internet was news you can use.(1) Now available: ...
Two guys go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune. The first day they go fishing they don't catch a thing. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men finally catches a fish. As they drive home, they are both really depressed. One turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that ...
Some of you may remember a program years ago on television called "Topper." It was one of the better comedies in the early days of television. Jim Burns, in his book, RADICALLY COMMITTED, tells about one of the zanier episodes in this series. Mrs. Topper wanted to train her husband to be nicer to her. She found a book titled HOW TO TRAIN PUPPIES and followed it exactly by substituting her husband~s name for the puppy. So any time her husband Topper would do something nice for her, she would praise him and ...
Our text for the day comes from that immortal television series, The A-Team. At the conclusion of each show the leader would light up his cigar and say, "I love it when a plan comes together." He's right! It is great when a plan comes together. In 1943 Great Britain was planning an invasion of Sicily. In order to carry out this invasion successfully British planners had to convince the Germans and Italians that the invasion would occur elsewhere. And so the British came up with a plan that would be worthy ...
We run across truth in the strangest places. Sometime back it was revealed that a major university offers a course on Donald Duck comic books. These particular comics were created by Carl Barks. From the early 1940s until his retirement in 1966, Barks produced some 400 comics about Donald Duck, his stingy billionaire Uncle Scrooge, and three frenetic nephews, Huey, Dewey, and Louie. In one classic series, the rich uncle's billions nearly have driven him crazy. Everybody is asking him for money, and Scrooge ...
English mystery writer Dorothy Sayers was also a lay theologian in the Church of England. In one of her books she discussed the difficulty a missionary to the Orient had in trying to explain the Trinity. As you know, one of the symbols for the Holy Spirit is a descending dove. The Oriental gentleman, lost in the maze of theology, said: "Honorable Father I understand. Honorable Son I understand. Honorable bird I don't understand at all!" He is not alone! George Bernard Shaw once said that all professions ...
Ron Lee Davis in his book, Mistreated, tells about a millionaire who owned a lot in an exclusive residential area of a large city. This lot presented an unusual problem. It was only a couple yards wide by nearly a hundred feet long. There was nothing he could do with such an oddly proportioned piece of real estate but sell it to one of the neighbors on either side. He went first to the neighbor on the east side of his lot, and asked if he was interested in buying it. The neighbor said, "Well, only as a ...
"[Sometime back] the San Francisco Examiner carried the photograph of a sixtysevenyearold black man with a smile that went from ear to ear. The light coming from his eyes was extraordinary. "The accompanying story told about this man who had been a longshoreman all his life and had retired at the age of sixtyfive. He was an alcoholic. He visited the same bar every day. One day he found that he was bored and decided to ask the universe for help. He didn't really expect an answer. However, he heard a little ...
A certain Eskimo man was taken on one of the expeditions to the North Pole a number of years ago. Later, as a reward for faithful service, he was brought to New York City for a short visit. He was amazed at what he saw. When he returned to his native village, he told stories of buildings that rose into the very face of the sky; of streetcars, which he described as houses that moved along the trail, with people living in them as they moved; of mammoth bridges, artificial lights, and all the other dazzling ...
A man went to his doctor to find out why he had been having such severe headaches. The doctor ran some tests and after a few hours called the man into his office. "I have terrible news," he told the patient. "Your condition is terminal." "Oh no!" the man wailed. "How long do I have?" "Ten," began the doctor. "Ten what?" the patient interrupted. "Days? Months? Years?" "Nine," said the doctor, "eight, seven, six . . ." There is a man who was having a bad day. There is a man living in panic, not peace. True ...
"I think that I shall never see," wrote Joyce Kilmer, "a poem as lovely as a tree." Trees are lovely and, like people, they come in so many varieties. Some, like the giant sequoias in California, are large enough to drive a car through. Others, like the slender, ungainly dogwood, remind us of the cross of Christ. Easterners see a palm tree and they think of Florida or the coastal areas of the Carolinas or Georgia. In the springtime tourists flock to Washington, D. C. to enjoy trees filled with cherry ...
In his book, South Carolina Off The Beaten Path, William Fox tells an apocryphal story of two wealthy Charleston matrons who escaped Charleston's oppressive heat by summering in Paris. When they fell upon hard times and could no longer afford Paris they shuttered themselves inside their home, venturing out only at night to catch the ocean breeze. One night a boy recognized them and was ready to greet them, when his mother stopped him by saying, "No, son. We can't talk to them, they're spending the summer ...
Someone has compiled a list of "intentionally ambiguous job recommendations." See if you recognize any of these. First the recommendation and then the translation: Recommendation: While he worked with us, he was given numerous citations. Translation: He was arrested several times. Recommendation: You simply won't believe this woman's credentials. Translation: She faked most of her resume. Recommendation: You will never catch him asleep on the job. Translation: He's too crafty to get caught. Recommendation ...
Movie producer William Castle was known in the 1950s for his low-quality horror films. In 1961, Castle did something totally unique in movie history: he let the audience choose the ending to his movie. Castle's movie, Mr. Sardonicus, was about a crazed, reclusive killer. Near the end of the film, ushers stopped the film and allowed audiences to vote on whether the killer should live or die. Then, the ushers ran the ending that the audience chose. The audience always chose death for the bad guy. It's a good ...
Margo Ballantyne was shopping at a store in Scotland when it seemed that the whole world suddenly stopped. As Margo sorted through stacks of scarves, the other shoppers in the store suddenly froze in place. All conversation ceased. Sales clerks refused to make eye contact with Margo or answer her questions. What would you think if you were in Margo's situation? She assumed that she was unwelcome in the store, that she was out of place. But then, Margo remembered that on this particular day, November 11th, ...
Some of Jesus' followers were beginning to leave him. His teachings were too difficult for them. So he turned to the 12 and asked, "Will you also go away?" Peter's plaintive reply lives forever, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life; and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God." "Lord, to whom shall we go?" We can scarcely imagine anyone other than Peter saying this. It seems unlikely that this would have been the first response from the critical ...
Hamilton Whaley was a prosperous lawyer in Tampa, Florida. He was happily married, had five great kids, a big comfortable house in a pleasant community. He was active in church and making more money than he ever dreamed of. He was also a partner in one of the leading law firms in the state, a vast organization with nearly 70 lawyers. Then in September, 1976, he had a minor car accident. Fortunately he was injured only slightly and recovered quickly. When he returned home from the hospital his telephone ...
I have always felt sorry for Steven Seymour. You may not remember who Steven Seymour was, but Steven Seymour was the interpreter President Carter took along with him to Poland some years back. Interpreters in such situations face a formidable task. They must do immediately, on the spur of the moment, what it takes the translator of a work of literature hours or days to do at their desk. And poor Steven Seymour mistranslated one of the President’s words of greetings to the Polish people. When the President ...
One of my favorite authors is Father Andrew Greeley, who, when he is not writing newspaper columns, popular (and somewhat racy) novels, and technical sociological treatises, somehow finds time to write passable books on theology. Greeley is so prolific that some have suggested that he is a committee rather than one individual man. Some critics say that he has never had an unpublished thought; but perhaps some of the criticism leveled against him might come under the heading of jealousy...from folks who ...
In the year 1739 a strange scene was enacted before the House of Commons in London. A ship’s captain by the name of Jenkins was brought before that august body, and he showed them a bottle which contained a small, shriveled-up object, which he claimed was his ear. He said that it had been cut off by Spanish coast-guards when his ship was searched on the high seas. “What did you do?” he was asked. And he is supposed to have replied, “I commended my soul to God and my cause to my country.” In his epic ...
No matter what you do, there will always be somebody who won’t like it. Even Jesus had His critics. In our Scripture lesson we read that Jesus had just performed a miraculous cure on a man who had been ill for 38 years. You would think that such an event would be the occasion for universal rejoicing! But some took it as an occasion to criticize. The man was walking through the streets of Jerusalem carrying his bed, when the hyper-orthodox religious leaders stopped him and reminded him that he was breaking ...
In the fifth century, St. Jerome called the apostle we are considering in this sermon “Trinomius,” which means “the man with three names.” In Mark he is called Thaddeus (3:18), in Matthew he is called Thaddeus or Lebbaeus (10:3), and in Luke he is called Judas, the son of James (Luke 6:16; Acts 1:13). If the Gospels cannot agree on this man’s name, how can we ever hope to get it straight? Well, I have recently read an advertisement from one of those sheets which fall out of the Sunday newspaper, an ...
I am indebted to my son-in-law, the Rev. Frank Lyman, pastor of Lake Harbor United Methodist Church in Muskegon for my opening story. It seems that there was an unusual story on radio station WGN awhile back. A fellow sat down and ate 874 Walleye minnows at one sitting. That’s a lot of Walleye minnows! Why did he do such a strange thing? Because earlier in his life he had sat down and eaten 862 Walleye minnows and his accomplishment was listed in the Guinness Book of World Records. So he set out to break ...
Some years ago a group of 25 Biblical scholars formed a group called, "The Jesus Seminar." About five years ago, they used a color code to vote on what words of The Lord''s Prayer they actually believed came directly from the lips of our Lord, Jesus Christ and not the editorial revisions of the Gospel writers, Matthew and Luke, and those who came after them. The color code was as follows: RED - direct words from Jesus PINK - not directly from Jesus, but close to what he might have said. GRAY - indirectly ...