I went to the store to buy a new pair of blue jeans. The clerk asked if I wanted slim fit, easy fit, or relaxed fit, regular or faded, stone washed or acid washed, button fly or regular fly ... and that's when I started to sputter. Can't I just have a pair of blue jeans, size fourteen? Then I went to the grocery store and found 85 varieties of crackers, 285 kinds of cookies, and thirteen different kinds of raspberry jelly. Can't I just get a cookie and a cracker and a bottle of jelly any more? I am in ...
At a church dinner, a mother took her three young children through the food line. As she juggled everyone's plates and drinks, she told the kids to be on their best behavior. When they were finally seated, she let out a sigh of relief and told the kids they were doing great. She was proud of them because that hadn't had any catastrophes yet. When her 3-year-old daughter heard that, she popped up, looked around and said, "Where are they, Mommy? I'll go get some." (1) We all know what catastrophes are don't ...
OK, this morning we're going to play our own version of Let's Make a Deal. I'll give a dollar to whoever has a golf ball in their pocket. And I'll give a dollar to anyone who can show me a set of reindeer antlers. I've got another dollar for the person who brought a Gorilla with them today. Would you like to trade that dollar for a chance to win what's in this box? Now, if you can recite the books of the Bible backwards in 60 seconds or less, you could win what's in this box. Just kidding. If you can tell ...
In a Dr. Seuss Christmas story, the small-hearted Grinch steals food and toys from all the Who's of Whosville in an effort to curb their Christmas joy. Yet on Christmas morn, the tall and the small sang without any presents at all. And the Grinch with his grinch-feet, ice cold in the snow, Stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags! And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of ...
One of my favorite stories goes something like this: An old man was walking the beach one morning when he saw a kid in the distance doing something like a dance. As the old man got closer to the boy he said, “Good morning, what are your doing?" “Saving starfish," replied the kid. “The sun is up, the tide is going out. If I don't throw these starfish back into the ocean they will all die." “But, young man, there are miles and miles of beach and starfish are everywhere. You can't possibly make a difference ...
The whole thing is stupid and unnecessary, Judy was thinking as she was driving to the nursing home. There was no reason to get rid of Pastor Kyle except the town congregation wanted him all to themselves. But that was enough for the rural congregation's council. "If that's the way they feel about it, then let them have Pastor Kyle. He's never around here, anyway. We'll go it on our own." So the council with the help of the synod, found a part-time pastor who lived thirty miles away to take the call. But ...
When you check into a Sheraton hotel room these days you have a new message you can hang on your doorknob to keep the housekeeper away. Instead of “Do Not Disturb” the message now reads “Peace and Quiet.” The sign at Sheraton’s more upscale sister, The Westin, simply reads “Peace.” People are not just looking to keep disruptions and disturbances at bay. They are looking to find something positive. They are searching in life for some “peace and quiet.” Or if “quiet” is too much to ask, just some “Peace.” ...
A radio announcer on KLOS in Los Angeles, about thirty minutes after a major earthquake, made these two statements: "The telephone company is urging people to please not use the telephone unless it is absolutely necessary in order to keep the lines open for emergency personnel. We'll be right back after this break to give away a pair of Phil Collins concert tickets to caller number 95." (1) A Major was assigned to a new office on a military base. While working to set up his office a Private knocked on his ...
Since tomorrow is Presidents’ day, I thought I would begin with a favorite story about Abraham Lincoln. One of the endearing traits that Lincoln displayed was his ability to laugh at himself, and especially at his rather plain appearance. He said that sometimes he felt like the ugly man who met an old woman traveling through a forest. The old woman said, “You’re the ugliest man I ever saw.” “I can’t help it,” the ugly man said. “No, I guess not,” the woman admitted, “but the least you could do is stay home ...
Here is my thesis: the greatest public service the church can perform for its community, and for the world, is this: celebrate Easter. A true, beautiful and good celebration of Easter. Here is the proof of my thesis: last year’s “Resurrection Sunday Dance,” that took place in Budapest, Hungary, where God is up to some amazing things. This very moment on Easter Sunday Christians are “Resurrection Dancing” at various capitols and courtyards around the world. But here is my favorite one from 2010 Resurrection ...
4736. Live Churches
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Living, breathing churches are always going to have more problems and tension, than churches that are dead. Churches can be alive and well without growth but they need programs and services. Here's a list of contrasts: Live churches' expenses are always more than their income; dead churches don't need much money! Live churches have parking problems; Dead churches have empty spaces! Live churches may have some noisy children; Dead churches are quiet as a cemetery. Live churches keep changing their ways of ...
There was a story years ago in the Canadian version of the Reader’s Digest of a large moose that wandered into a residential area in Calgary, Canada. The moose ended up on the lawn of a lady named Lorna Cade. A Fish and Wildlife officer was dispatched to try to coax the magnificent animal back into the wild. After two hours of absolutely no progress, the officer finally shot the moose with a tranquilizer dart. The moose bolted down a lane and eventually collapsed on another nearby lawn. The reporters who ...
“Something there is that doesn’t love a wall, That wants it down!” wrote poet Robert Frost. I wish that everyone shared that sentiment. Unfortunately most people do not. Most people love walls. They see walls as their security, even their salvation. It is interesting that the largest construction project ever undertaken by humanity was the building of a wall. I’m talking, of course, about the Great Wall of China. It is said that enough stone was used in that 1,700‑year project to build an 8‑foot wall ...
Pilate was a politician. That says it all, doesn’t it? I read recently that 53 percent of Americans can’t name their representative in Congress. That doesn’t keep Congress from being highly unpopular. As someone once asked, “If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of Congress?” Someone else has said that the reason a person in Congress try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they’ve passed. I heard about one southern Congressman who had ...
Have you heard of the carnival barker who kept yelling “Alive! Alive! Here! Here! Did you ever see a two-headed baby? Come in! Come in!” The gaff is that they don’t have a two-headed baby inside the tent. They only asked if you ever saw one. This is the kind of shrewdness being celebrated in today’s Scripture reading. Carlos Fuentes (1928-2012), the Mexican novelist and playwright whom some called “the soul of Mexico,” gave a long interview about his writing shortly after he turned 50 and began to ...
One of the most commonly trotted out critiques about living a life of faith is that it is all about “pie-in-the-sky-bye-and-bye.” The critics claim that those who put their ultimate faith in a heavenly reward, don’t really engage with this world. This critique is best expressed in the phrase “so heavenly minded, no earthly good.” Hardships and harassments are accepted in this world because “in the next age” heavenly rewards will far outweigh anything this earthly existence might have to offer. “Pie-in-the- ...
Most Christians know about the Holy Spirit’s power granted one morning in Jerusalem seven weeks after Jesus’ resurrection. It occurred on the Jewish Festival of Passover recorded in Acts 2. Many Christians don’t know what John 20 reports. This text is about Jesus’ giving the Holy Spirit before the exciting spiritual event at the Passover Festival. Seven weeks before Pentecost we’re with Jesus late on the day of his resurrection. Jesus’ resurrection has announced that he’s back for good. His students ...
Larry McMurtry’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel Lonesome Dove is about a cattle drive from Texas to Montana in about 1880. The novel includes the preparations for this 1,000-mile journey and a myriad of adventures along the way. A woman is taken on the drive: Lorena. This isn’t just out of the ordinary. It’s unique. She’s brought along by a man who abandons her. She’s then kidnapped and terribly abused by outlaws. Finally, Lorena is rescued and continues with the cattle drive, but she’s deeply traumatized ...
How many of you here this morning remember “Stone Soup”? No, I don’t mean the magazine. No, I don’t mean the recipe. I mean the story. “Stone Soup” is an old folk-tale, told and re-told with slightly different details in dozens of countries and cultures. In case you’ve forgotten it is a fable that focuses on the ingenuity of some weary travelers who arrive at a small village with nothing. No food, no money, nothing. All they have is a large cooking pot. The travelers are met with suspicion and surliness ...
Have you ever known someone who was puffed up with pride? Someone with a big ego? Someone who is an “I” specialist, as in the letter I? Someone whose “I’s or “me’s are a little too close together? When Woodrow Wilson was Governor of New Jersey, a very ambitious young civil servant called him at his home at 3:30 one morning. This young civil servant said urgently, “Mr. Governor, I’m sorry to wake you up, but your State Auditor has just died, and I would like to know if I can take his place.” Mr. Wilson ...
A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other. The groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. “Dad,” he said, “I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage. I love my fiancée very much, but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I’m afraid that my future wife will be put off by them.” “No problem,” said his dad. “All you have to do is wash your feet as ...
The acceptance of the Gentiles into the church without the necessity of circumcision (with the implication of submission to the whole law) might seem to have been assured after the conversion of Cornelius and his friends. At that time, even in Jerusalem, the bastion of Jewish tradition, those Christians who had met to consider the matter had agreed that God had “granted even the Gentiles repentance unto life” (11:18), though they probably never dreamed that this would be anything more than an exceptional ...
Paul returns to the theme of idleness touched on in the earlier letter (see disc. on 1 Thess. 4:11f. and 5:14). Obviously, the problem persisted. Judging by the more peremptory tone of the warning, it appears to have worsened. The amount of space allotted to the matter measures how seriously Paul regarded it. But still his pastoral concern is uppermost. The object of the exercise is to help the erring, not to punish them or make the other members feel good. In all matters of church discipline, this ...
A Testimony About the Gospel This paragraph is so clearly a digression in the argument of the letter that it is easy to read it, or comment on it, apart from its immediate context. But to do so is to miss a large part of its significance. The whole paragraph flows directly out of the preceding one. First of all, it is a presentation of the “gospel” (v. 11) as a bold expression of God’s grace toward sinners. Even though it takes the form of personal testimony (note the eleven occurrences of I or me), the ...
The False Teachings Censured Because of the content of 3:14–16—the statement of purpose climaxed by the hymn—it is easy to think of chapter 3 as bringing us to some kind of conclusion, or major break, in the middle of the letter. But to view 3:14–16 that way is to miss the very close tie between chapter 4 and what has preceded. Paul is about to elaborate in some detail upon the two matters expressed in the charge in chapter 1: the nature of the errors of the false teachers (4:1–5; cf. 1:3–11, 19–20) and ...