You can’t see light unless you are in the shadows or the dark. Turn your lights on during a sunny day, and you’ll never know they’re shining. The sun streaming in your windows bathes everything in a natural light. You don’t seek to turn on your lamps when you feel you have enough light already. But spend awhile in the dark, and you’ll soon be longing for any semblance of light. The amount of light we need is also relative. Those who live in the city become accustomed to a huge amount of light –from ...
Words are cheap. They can also be deadly if used improperly. One of our tasks and opportunities as human beings, endowed with brains capable of critical thinking, is to learn to discern what is to be believed and trusted and what is not. During the run-up to a recent presidential election, a cartoon appeared in a national magazine. It showed a flock of sheep grazing on a hillside. In view of the flock was a large billboard showing a wolf wearing a business suit, smiling and flashing sharp, white teeth. The ...
Today our nation celebrates Independence Day, which commemorates the day that the 13 original colonies joined together to declare their independence from Great Britain. In fact, the first time we were ever referred to as the “United States of America” was in the Declaration of Independence, which was accepted by the leadership of the 13 colonies on July 4, 1776. July 3, we were a collection of colonies. July 4, we were the United States of America. That’s why we call July 4 the birthday of our nation. So, ...
''Angels are big this Christmas," said the florist as he placed yet another cherub on the tree. An outburst of bestselling books testify to our current infatuation with angels. Why does the whole world seem so interested in angels, and at this time in human history? The word ''angel'' means, in the Greek, ''messenger." Angels are messengers of God. That's why artists portrayed them with wings. Angels, messengers from God. But in one Mercedes Benz TV commercial, angels are depicted as cute, hermaphroditic ...
Let me see your hand if you are you a fan of disaster movies. [Well, somebody must be.] Disaster movies tend to do well at the box office, whether they feature frightened people battling floods or volcanos or Godzilla or zombies invading major cities. Speaking of zombies, there is a company in London called Vollebak that manufactures what they call an “Apocalypse Jacket.” The Apocalypse generally refers to the ultimate disaster drama—the complete final destruction of the world, as described in the biblical ...
The mother of a little boy questioned him, “Why didn’t you pray last night like you usually do?” His frank response was, “I didn’t want anything from God last night.” But is prayer only petition and intercession? Surely, “thanksgiving” is an integral part of prayer. People in Jesus’ time were threatened by leprosy, even more than we are today by the advent of AIDS. Definite regulations had been set up for the Jewish community to protect themselves from coming in contact with lepers. For example, in ...
In this Easter season, the scripture texts take us back to the words of Jesus, words that the disciples recalled as they pondered the mystery of the resurrection, and what Jesus wanted them to do next. Here Jesus speaks about himself as the shepherd, the guide and guard of those who love him. [Read John 10:11-18] I’m a city person. Too much open space makes me nervous, so when I started thinking about sheep, I had to call my brother, who lives on a farm in Wisconsin. I asked him what he knows about sheep, ...
Isaiah’s Significance, and the Fall of Darkness: We come to the close of the material that focuses on the crisis presented by the pressure of the northern allies (6:1–9:7). Isaiah speaks further about his ministry and its significance for Judah (8:11–22) and Yahweh offers a vision of light dawning the other side of the coming darkness (9:1–7). 9:1–7 To close 6:1–9:7, light replaces darkness (v. 2), joy replaces death (v. 3), and deliverance replaces oppression (v. 4). An earlier vision pictured weapons ...
If you were asked to name the invention that has had the greatest impact on daily life in the past century, what would you say? The electric light bulb, the automobile? You could make a strong case for either of them. I’d add another to the list: central heating. Some of you, like me, grew up in homes that had no central heating. You may remember gathering around the kitchen stove to change clothes in the morning and going up the stairs at night to a frigid bedroom. You’d crawl between icy sheets and then ...
You have ever known one, or you were one, or you still think you are one. You went to school with them. Maybe you grew up with them. Maybe you live with them. Maybe you even think you are married to them. They are easily identified by the labels that we put on them such as: losers, rejects, nerds, geeks, or failures. They get mocked, bullied, ridiculed, and made fun of. They are ostracized and isolated. They are on the outside looking in and nobody ever offers to let them in. You might say they are “On The ...
4636. Lightbulb Jokes
Humor Illustration
No modern society would be complete without a listing of some of the jokes that start off - How many _____ does it take to screw in a light bulb?: How many country singers does it take to change a light bulb? Four: one to screw in the new one, and three to sing about the old one. How many Virginians? Three: one to hold the ladder, one to screw in the bulb, and one highly refined lady to remark how much lovelier the old bulb was. How many Oregonians? Forty-two: one to hold the ladder, one to screw in the ...
From our first days in school, or on the playground, we learn the “Count Off.” To keep track of a classroom full of kids, one of the first things first graders learn from busy teachers is to “count off.” Especially during fire drills or field trips, it is imperative that every child be accounted for. The presence of every one of them is assured by reaching the proper total number. Besides learning to count off to get a total tally, sometimes the kids “count off” by two’s or four’s, a fast, easy way to ...
I am wondering right now how many frustrated people are in this building, or maybe watching by television, whose memories hearken back to parents that you could never totally please. Most every one of us in this room knows someone that is driven to succeed to the nth degree, because they are haunted by the ghost of unrealistic expectations that one or both parents placed on them. There are others in this room who live in perpetual sadness because of a parent that never showed them the affection and the ...
Do Not Break Faith: This third address is different in form from the others in the book, and it includes several obscure Hebrew phrases and sentences. In the prophet’s opening statement he speaks initially in the first person plural as one of the people (v. 10). He then goes on to accuse Judah (in the third person, vv. 11–12) and his audience (in the second person, vv. 13–15). He quotes the Lord’s word in verse 16. This address ends with an admonition, while the others conclude with either judgment or ...
"Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so men persecuted the prophets who were before you." (v. 12) Who is a saint? The historic definition is one whose life is worthy of imitation by all of Christendom. Some add that a sense of humor is a prerequisite, along with having performed miracles. "She is a saint," we say. What do we mean? We usually have in mind a person whose goodness, unselfishness, love, is unmistakable. Ah, but ask that one, "Are you a saint?" The answer: "Of course ...
Even in a home, a storm can come up almost without warning. In fact, homes are especially susceptible to storms. There are violent, vicious, visible storms that can destroy a marriage, devastate children and decimate a family. You see homes are just like restaurants. Every restaurant has a certain atmosphere and so do homes. To show you how men and women are different, when men go to a restaurant they are concerned about the quality of the food. Women are not so much concerned about the food - they want ...
I read a story the other day id never heard before about Abraham Lincoln. He was surprised one day when a rough looking man drew a revolver and put it right in his face. Trying to remain as calm as he could Lincoln simply asked the man, “What seems to be the matter?” The stranger replied, “Well some years ago I swore an oath that if I ever came across an uglier man than I am I’d shoot him right on the spot.” Lincoln smiled and said, “Well then please shoot me for if I’m an uglier man than you are I don't ...
“Let it be done for you according to your faith.” Props: Centurion helmet or any military helmet and stick Hope pulls you forward. Faith pushes you forward. Love keeps you moving forward. A story recently made the news whereby a visitor from Israel to the US had a serious heart condition, and needed a heart transplant immediately or he would die. He was older than the recommended age for surgery, and had multiple other medical conditions that made any surgery problematic. Only two specialists in the world ...
Two men went up in a hot-air balloon one May morning. Suddenly they were enveloped by clouds and lost track of where they were. They drifted for what seemed like hours. Finally the cloud parted, and they spotted a man below them on the ground. “Where are we?” one of the passengers hollered down. The man on the ground looked around, looked up at the balloon, looked around some more and then yelled back, “You’re in a balloon.” The two balloonists looked at one another and then one of them yelled down again ...
The woman’s accounting firm is having its best year since she founded it ten years ago. Taxes are due the next day and she wonders if maybe they have taken on too many projects. I majored in accounting and I know missing the tax deadline is a quick way to lose creditability with customers. She decides to bring on some extra help. A friend had mentioned a temp agency in town that was pretty reliable. She Googled the name, locates the number, and makes the call. The nervous woman breathes a sigh of relief ...
Jesus and the apostles were celebrating that last supper together. Because Jesus was aware Judas was going to betray him, the Lord confronted him. It is an especially uncomfortable conversation that Jesus concluded by telling Judas, “Do quickly what you must do” (13:27). After the apostle of betrayal slithered out of the room, Jesus turned his attention to those who remained. After a few preliminary remarks, Jesus delivered one of his more familiar teachings. “I give you a new commandment, that you love ...
Luke 15:1-7, Luke 15:8-10, Jeremiah 4:5-31, 1 Timothy 1:12-20
Sermon Aid
John R. Brokhoff
COMMENTARY Lesson 1: Jeremiah 4:11-12, 22-28 For Judah, Jeremiah sees nothing but doom. For Judah there is no future except destruction and death. Everywhere Jeremiah looks he sees desolation of his country. Why is this? The judgment comes from Yahweh because Judah is woefully corrupt. Their sins have brought utter disaster. There is no hope except "I will not make a full end." (v. 27) Lesson 2: 1 Timothy 1:12-17 Christ came to save sinners, even the foremost, Paul. Many scholars think that the pastoral ...
When William Jennings Bryan went to the father of the young woman whom he loved to ask her hand in marriage, he remembered that the father was a strong religious believer, so he quoted a proverb of Solomon from the Bible: “He who finds a wife finds a good thing.” But the father surprised him by responding with a quote from St. Paul, “He who marries his betrothed does well; and he who refrains from marriage will do better.” The young man was at a loss for a reply for a moment, but then he came up with this ...
There's an old, old story, that I think is still funny. The phone rings and a little boy answers in a whisper: "Hello?" The caller says: "Hi, is your Mommy there? "Yes!" "Can I talk to her?" "No!" "Why not?" "She's busy." "What about your Daddy, can I talk to him?" "No! He's busy." "Well, is there anyone else there?" "My little sister." "Is there anyone else there? Another adult?" "Uh, huh. The police." "Can I talk to one of them?" "No, they're busy." "Is there anyone else there?" "Yes, the firemen." "Can ...
There is an old "preacher story" about the traveling evangelist who had a flair for the dramatic. His sermons were flamboyant and intensely theatrical. His ability to turn a phrase and masterfully create "word pictures" captivated his listeners almost to the point of hypnosis. He was a strong portion. After accepting an invitation to preach in a little country church, he went out early one afternoon to familiarize himself with the church and its appointments. Among other things, he observed that the ...