Sometime back, John Gratton in the Drexel, Missouri STAR gave us a description of what it would be like to live in a perfect world. Here are a few of his thoughts. In a Perfect World. . . a person should feel as good at 50 as he did at 17, and he would actually be as smart at 50 as he thought he was at 17. In a Perfect World. . . you could give away a baby bed without getting pregnant. In a Perfect World. . . pro baseball players would complain about teachers being paid contracts worth millions of dollars ...
A first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home. She said, "And so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw and said, ˜Pardon me sir, but might I have some of that straw to build my house?'" Then the teacher asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" A little boy raised his hand and said, "I know! I know! He said ˜Holy smokes! A talking pig!'" ...
"Life is truly a ride," says comedian Jerry Seinfeld. "We're all strapped in, and no one can stop it. As you make each passage from youth to adulthood to maturity, sometimes you put your arms up and scream, sometimes you just hang on to that bar in front of you. But the ride is the thing. I think the most you can hope for at the end of life is that your hair's messed, you're out of breath, and you didn't throw up." With equal wit, Cynthia Kraman asks, "What If the Hokey Pokey IS REALLY what it's all about ...
Back in 1985, William R. Greer performed an in-depth chemical analysis of the human body and its mineral properties. His conclusions were published in the International Herald Tribune and The New York Times. Greer claimed that the average human body contained 5 pounds of calcium, 9 ounces of potassium, 1 and 1/2 pounds of phosphorus, 6 ounces of sodium, 6 ounces of sulfur, 1 ounce of magnesium, and trace amounts of iron, iodine, and copper. According to a professor at the Illinois Medical School, the total ...
A few weeks into a new school year, Susan Moser, a mother from Pennsylvania, asked her young son what he thought of first grade. With enthusiasm, he replied, "Oh, I love school. It's great!" Then, after a brief hesitation, he added. "Well, except for one thing . . . I don't really like it when Mrs. Decker tries to teach us stuff." (1) Well, that's a problem, isn't it? Some of our students here can attest to the fact that learning isn't all fun and games. It can be frustrating for both the student and the ...
Many of us dream of visiting exotic places. Maybe we'd like to see the magnificent castles in Europe, or the unparalleled beauty of Hawaii. Or perhaps the mysterious orient, with its unique culture. When we're there, we might even start dreaming about what it would be like to live there permanently. Would it be as beautiful or as impressive if I saw it every day, or would I begin to take it for granted, just as I do my present surroundings? A scribe came to Jesus and asked him a question: "Which ...
Nicodemus silently creeps through the dark streets of Jerusalem, keeping to the shadows, vigilant, lest anyone sees him. He is on a mission. The teacher, Jesus, is in Jerusalem. Wonderful things are said of Him. He has amazed the people with miraculous signs; astounded them with the authority of His teaching. He has stirred Nicodemus’ curiosity, pricked his interest, and even enlivened his hope. “Surely,” he thinks to himself, “this man is from God. I’ve got to meet him.” But how? Official opposition to ...
The 20th chapter of the Fourth Gospel ends with the words, “Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.” (John 20:30-31) That sounds like the end of the story, doesn’t it? But then, chapter 21 comes along, and it is almost as if the whole thing starts all over again. Scholars have long been puzzled ...
Will Rogers once said that “a lot of what everybody knows ain’t so!” Nowhere is that more true than in the realm of Biblical scholarship. From my research in the gospel of John and many visits to the holy land I have discovered that a lot of what biblical scholars and commentators appear to know for sure seems doubtful at best, and downright wrong in some places. For instance, not too many years ago it was an accepted axiom among Biblical scholars that the author of the Fourth Gospel always tended to “ ...
The distinguished United Methodist bishop, Dr. Gerald Kennedy, once told the story of seeing a very poorly dressed woman and her young daughter looking into one of the department store windows in the downtown area of a large city during the Christmas holidays. Inside the window was the manger scene, including Mary dressed as the Queen Of Heaven, with rich diamonds and other jewels in her dazzling crown. The little girl gazed at the Blessed Mother for a while and then turned to her own mother and said, "She ...
Did you hear the story, from a month or so ago, about former President George Bush and the question of identity? According to one of the writers for the San Francisco Chronicle, President Bush, in his visit last month to Florida to survey the hurricane damage, evidently decided to get in a little campaigning, too. He visited a local nursing home and approached a little old lady sitting in a corner and asked, "Do you know who I am?" The woman said,"No, but if you go over to the desk, they''re usually able ...
Nearly three decades ago, a California minister had himself nailed to a cross as a protest against crime in the streets. The Reverend Willie Dicks, of St. John’s Missionary Baptist Church in San Jose, set up a 9-foot by 12-foot wooden cross in a park in Oakland. Removing his white cotton gown, he leaned against the cross and extended his arms. Using carpenter’s nails sprayed with Bactine, an assistant affixed the pastor to the cross, hammering the nails through the skin between the third and fourth fingers ...
A friend of mine lives in a remote area of the United States which has a very low emotional quotient. Because of this, alcoholism is rampant, incest is above average, and spousal abuse is prevalent. One of the dominating social ills is the abuse suffered by teenagers. In a recent study released by the state where my friend resides, a survey revealed that one out of every three teenagers has been abused sexually. In order to help these teens who have suffered mentally, emotionally, and physically because of ...
It is from the Old Testament. It is that classic passage from II Chronicles, the 7th chapter. I’m going to read the first four verses and then the 8th through the 14th verses of that particular passage. “When Solomon had ended his prayer, fire came down from heaven and consumed the burnt offering of sacrifice, and the glory of the Lord filled the temple. And the priest could not enter the house of the Lord because the glory of the Lord filled the Lord’s house. When all the children of Israel saw the fire ...
“Saints in the Light” — does that conjure any images in your mind? Stained Glass? A well-lighted painting in a museum, like El Greco’s Saint Jerome which I saw at the Metropolitan in New York a few years ago? Or, maybe your mind is more playful or impish. Did you think of some of that religious art in luminous paint on black velvet? You can buy them on the roadside in some of your vacation travels, especially if you get near Mexico. Or, perhaps less impish, but also less sophisticated, you thought of a ...
One of the most effective and colorful congressmen to ever go to Washington was a crusty old gentlemen from Texas named Sam Rayburn. He served Congress for over 50 years — during the last ten of those years, he was Speaker of the House. But the real greatness of Sam Rayburn was not in the public positions he held. It was in his common touch. One day he heard that the teenage daughter of a Washington reporter had died. Early the next morning he went over to the reporter’s house and knocked on the door. “I ...
A teacher sent home a report card with this notation to the parents, "Alvin excels in initiative, group integration, responsiveness, and activity participation. Now if he would only learn to read and write!" We chuckle, but there's a serious point here. We have excelled in almost everyway imaginable as human beings, except in the one way that matters most. We have not learned to love. So we come to the close of this series of sermons on "The Christian Walk". We talk about the ultimate call -- the most ...
"One day a teacher was asking the kids in her fourth grade class to name the person whom they considered the greatest human being alive in the world today -- and the responses were quick in forthcoming and also quite varied too.A little boy spoke up and said, "I think it's Joe Montana. He led the 49ers to another Super Bowl win this year." A little girl said, "I think it's Mother Teresa because she cares for people who are dying and doesn't get paid for it at all." Another little girl said, "I think it's ...
I'm told that they used to tell a story in Russia that Adam and Eve were Russians and they came at that from very logical deduction. They were improperly clothed, they had only one apple between them and everybody was always telling them that they lived in a paradise. Today you can't tell that joke in Russia. No one, not even the most ardent, die hard, hanging on, Communist dreamer. No one would even begin to hint at the possibility that the people in Russia and in the Union of Independent States are ...
I don't know when the question became so central in my thinking. It didn't emerge full-blown. At first it was at the edge of my consciousness, but now it's at the very center pressing for attention. It became even more clamoring, even more demanding, even more piercing during these past two weeks as we have shared with people behind the Iron Curtain; as we have shared with Christians who have to ask the question and who have to make a response. It's one of those what-if questions -- you know the kind I am ...
The Bible is a serious book, but it is not deadly serious. Did I say that too quickly for you to get it? The Bible is a serious book, but it is not deadly serious. Have you ever thought that we might have been better off if we had never put the printed word of God -- the Bible -- between black covers? Dostoevski, in his novel The Brothers Karamazov, characterize the artificial life of the monastery as "25 men trying to be saints, who sit around looking blankly at each other and eat cabbage." It's that kind ...
Ian Lewis, 43, of Standish, Lancashire, England, was interested in finding out about his family. He spent thirty years tracing his family tree back to the seventeenth century. Thirty years. He traveled all over Britain talking to 2,000 relatives about the family tree. He even planned to write a book about how his great-grandfather left to seek his fortune in Russia and how his grandfather was expelled after the Revolution. Then, after doing all that research, Ian Lewis made a discovery that stopped him in ...
In Psalm 90:12, we are counseled to "number our days." If you were to do that, number your days, you would come up with a number somewhere around 27,375. That's assuming you reach 75 years of age--which census statistics tell us is about the average life span now for both men and women--then you will live for 27,375 days. That sounds like a lot, but how quickly they pass. Our basic interest this day is not in counting our days, but in making our days count. And the way we make our days count is to ...
I don’t know how it is with you, but occasionally I have flashbacks. Sometimes these are connected with a task at hand, or a decision with which I am struggling, or when I am wrestling with what I perceive as a call of God upon my life. Occasionally these flashbacks are connected with my preaching. It happened a couple of months ago. I was struggling with personal direction issues, but had also begun to think of the assignment of preaching on this occasion. The words of a young man named Nicholas in The ...
This section contains seven of the eight words used to refer to the Law in Psalm 119. Each line of this section begins with the Hebrew letter Pe, though each is a different word. Yesterday my son, as he often does, read cartoons to me. One was Dennis the Menace. Dennis is kneeling beside his bed, devoutly gazing toward heaven, saying his prayers. The caption read, “You’ll be glad to know that I only broke three-ana-half commandments today.” Only three-ana-half! Way to go, Dennis! Well, the cartoon is funny ...