In the summer of 1971 I had gone to Munich to study German. It was my first time in "the Fatherland," and I suppose I had half expected to find blond, blue-eyed kids yodeling on street corners, or adults heading to work in Lederhosen humming Beethoven's 9th. Instead, blaring from every Italian Pizza Parlor, every Turkish shish kabob stall or ubiquitous McDonald's was the 1971 Lynn Anderson hit song, "I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden." Some of you may even remember the words: it was a ...
4202. First Shall Be Last
Mark 9:33-37
Illustration
Years ago (1979), as a hundred thousand fans watched, Richard Petty ended his 45-race losing streak and picked up stockcar racing's biggest purse - $73,900. It all happened at the Daytona 500. Petty's win, however, was a complete surprise. Going into the last lap, he was running 30 seconds behind the two leaders. All at once the car in second place tried to pass the No. 1 man on the final stretch. This caused the first car to drift inside and force the challenger onto the infield grass, and slightly out of ...
4203. Why God Will Never Get Tenure at Any University
Mark 9:30-37
Illustration
1. Only published one book. 2. It was in Hebrew. 3. It had no references. 4. He did not publish it in referenced journals. 5. Some doubt He even wrote it Himself. 6. He is not known for His cooperative work. 7. Sure, He created the world, but what has He done lately? 8. He did not get permission from any review board to work with human subjects. 9. When one experiment went awry, He tried to cover it up by drowning all the subjects. 10. When sample subjects do not behave as predicted, He deletes the whole ...
4204. Ambitious Disciples
Mk 9:33-37
Illustration
King Duncan
Jesus and his disciples were coming to the town of Capernaum. As they entered the house where they would be staying, he asked his disciples, "What were you arguing about on the road?" But they kept quiet, says the writer of Mark's Gospel, because on the way they had argued about who was number one among them. So, the disciples were human just like you and I are human. Who doesn't want to stand out? Some of the greatest people who have ever lived were also among the most ambitious. It is said that ...
4205. Be at Peace with One Another - Sermon Starter
Mark 9:49-50
Illustration
Brett Blair
One person armed with the Gospel of peace can change the world. Telemachus did. He was a monk who lived in the 5th century. He felt God saying to him, "Go to Rome." He was in a cloistered monastery but he put his possessions in a sack and set out for Rome. When he arrived in the city, people were thronging in the streets. He asked why all the excitement and was told that this was the day that the gladiators would be fighting in the coliseum, the day of the games, the circus. He thought to himself, "Four ...
4206. I Love You More than Salt
Mark 9:42-50
Illustration
King Duncan
An ancient king once asked his three daughters how much they loved him. One daughter said she loved him more than all the gold in the world. One said she loved him more than all the silver in the world. The youngest daughter said she loved him more than salt. The king was not pleased with this answer. But the cook overheard the conversation, so the next day he prepared a good meal for the king, but left out the salt. The food was so insipid that the king couldn't eat it. Then he understood what his ...
4207. The Fellowship of the Bearers of Cold Water
Mark 9:38-41
Illustration
King Duncan
An old man named Calvin had lived a good life as a farmer for years. One day an evangelist came to the community, and, in the course of his stay, visited Calvin and asked him what denomination he was. Calvin answered the question like this: "When my grain gets ready for selling, after I've harvested it and packaged it, I can take it to town by any one of three roads " the river road, the dirt road, or the highway. But when I get my grain to town and go to the buyer to sell him what I have, he never looks ...
4208. The Cumulative Effect of Sin
Mark 9:38-41; Psalm 19:12-13
Illustration
Time-lapse photography compresses a series of events into one picture. Such a photo appeared in an issue of National Geographic. Taken from a Rocky Mountain peak during a heavy thunderstorm, the picture captured the brilliant lightning display that had taken place throughout the storm's duration. The time-lapse technique created a fascinating, spaghetti-like web out of the individual bolts. In such a way, our sin presents itself before the eyes of God. Where we see only isolated or individual acts, God ...
4209. Where to Put the Pies
Mark 9:38-41
Illustration
Richard J. Fairchild
I was in a small rural church one time that had a major dispute about where the pies should be placed in the kitchen prior to serving them for the annual turkey supper. One woman actually left the church community because several new comers to the church had convinced the rest of the women working in the kitchen that it would be more efficient to put the pies on the counter beside the sink instead of the counter next to the refrigerator. "It's not the right way to do it", she said. "We've never done it ...
4210. Are We Askew, Too?
Mark 9:38-41
Illustration
King Duncan
One pastor tells about listening to his father tell a story about a neighbor whose barn had burned down. The entire community gathered to help rebuild it. His father and some other men were told to saw the rafters. They first cut a rafter and then traced around it with a pencil and cut another one. They based the third rafter on the second the fourth on the third and so on. What they didn't take into account was the width of the pencil mark. Each rafter was one pencil mark wider than the one before. After ...
4211. Feeding Sin
Mk 9:38-50
Illustration
King Duncan
In 1939, a coast guard vessel was cruising the Canadian Arctic when the men spotted a polar bear stranded on an ice floe. It was quite a novelty for the seamen, who threw the bear salami, peanut butter, and chocolate bars. Then they ran out of the food. Unfortunately, the polar bear hadn't run out of appetite, so he proceeded to board their vessel. The men on ship were terrified and opened the fire hoses on the bear. The polar bear loved it and raised his paws in the air to get the water under his armpits ...
4212. Spoken Without Love
Mark 9:38-41
Illustration
Sodium is an extremely active element found naturally only in combined form; it always links itself to another element. Chlorine, on the other hand, is the poisonous gas that gives bleach its offensive odor. When sodium and chlorine are combined, the result is sodium chloride. What is sodium Chloride? Salt. Common table salt. The substance we use to preserve meat and bring out its flavor. Love and truth can be like sodium and chlorine. Love without truth is flighty, sometimes blind, willing to combine with ...
4213. Escaping the Rat Traps
Mark 9:38-41
Illustration
Jan Campbell
A fellow by the name of Ed Peterman tells a story from his childhood, when he grew up on a farm in Preble County Ohio. His family discovered they had some rats in the barn, so his parents got some traps. One night they baited them with cheese, and set them out around the barn. The next morning young Ed went out to see if they had caught anything. The first traps he examined were empty. When he came to the last trap, he saw something strange. The trap had been sprung, and while there was no rat in it, he ...
4214. A Problem Being At Peace
Mark 9:50
Illustration
Brett Blair
The Society of International Law, in London, states that during the last 4,000 years there have been only 268 years of peace. This in spite of thousands of good peace treaties over the centuries. In the last 300 years alone there have been 286 wars on the continent of Europe alone. OR THIS VERSION OF THE SAME FACTS: The Personnel Journal reported this incredible statistic: since the beginning of recorded history, the entire world has been at peace less than eight percent of the time! In its study, the ...
4215. Tolerance on the Bridge
Mark 9:38-41
Illustration
A man walking across a bridge came upon another man standing on the edge, about to plunge to his death. The first man shouted "Stop! Are you a Christian?" "Yes, as a matter of fact I am." "Well so am I. Are you Catholic or Protestant?" "I'm Protestant," "Well so am I. Are you Episcopal or Baptist?" "I'm Baptist." "Wow... I am too. Are you Southern Baptist or American Baptist?" I'm Southern Baptist." "Me too, that's amazing! Are you original Southern Baptist or Southern Baptist reformed?" "I'm Southern ...
4216. They Are Not Suggestions!
Mark 9:38-41
Illustration
Donald B. Strobe
I always liked Ted Koppell, the first moderator of the news show "Nightline." In a speech at Duke University when his daughter was graduating, he said this: "We have actually convinced ourselves that slogans will save us. Shoot up if you must, but use a clean needle. Enjoy sex whenever and with whomever you wish, but wear a condom. No! The answer is no. Not because it isn't cool or smart or because you might end up in jail or dying in an AIDS ward, but because it's wrong, because we have spent 5,000 years ...
4217. Cut It Out
Mark 9:38-41
Illustration
Donald B. Strobe
The analogy of an operating room, where radical surgery must be performed, is a most useful way to understand this Scripture. Most of us today would accept the notion that the whole body is worth more than any of its individual parts, and when we develop a cancerous tumor on eye, hand, or foot, we cast aside "the offending member" — with regret, of course; but we operate on the assumption that it is better to enter life without the diseased organ than not to live at all. If a troublesome organ hampers our ...
4218. A Growing Surprise
Mark 9:38-41
Illustration
Donald B. Strobe
The name of E. Stanley Jones is familiar to most long-time Methodists. He was a missionary-evangelist who traveled around the world for many, many years, especially in India, proclaiming the good news of God's love in Jesus Christ. Stanley Jones lived a life of joy and peace which came from his faith. In the ninth decade of his life he set pen to paper and wrote his autobiography titled A Song of Ascents. (New York and Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1968) In his introduction, he says, "How did it all happen? I ...
4219. Concrete Demonstrations
Mark 9:38-41
Illustration
King Duncan
There is a time honored story about a pastor who was supposedly a great lover of children. One day he looked at the sidewalk leading up to his house that had been freshly poured. Some youngsters were playing in it and leaving footprints in the fresh cement. He rushed out and yelled at the children. Someone said to him; "Well pastor, we thought you liked children." He said, "Yes, I love them in the abstract but not in the concrete." The world is looking for concrete demonstrations of Christian love in ...
4220. Little Deeds
Mark 9:33-37
Illustration
King Duncan
John Killinger, in a sermon entitled, The Great Importance of Little Deeds, concluded by saying, "It's an exciting thought that when we die and come into the presence of God and all its fullness, it will not be our major achievements that speak for us, 'He was president of a bank. She was the first woman senator from her state. He was the author of 22 books,' but rather the small apparently inconsequential things that we long ago forgot. 'He mowed my lawn when I was sick. She cared for my child when I went ...
4221. When You Insult Your Neighbor, You Are Insulting God
Mark 9:38-41
Illustration
King Duncan
We need to so fill our hearts and our minds with the love of God that there is no room for hatred and resentment of others. Robert A. Schuller, young Robert, tells of getting into an argument with his older sister when he was eight. "You're a pig!" he screamed when she refused to give him one of his own toys. Their dad, television preacher Robert H. Schuller, heard what was going on. He came into the room and said to young Bob, "Robert, don't you ever call your sister a pig again." "But, Dad, she is!" he ...
4222. Divorce and Children - Sermon Starter
Mark 10:1-12
Illustration
Brett Blair
The U.S. Census Bureau report for the decade of the 90's was released in 2001. Here are its disturbing findings concerning the family. Households headed by unmarried partners grew by almost 72 percent from 1990 to 2000. Most of these arrangements were men and women living together out of wedlock. Other studies have shown that cohabitation increased by close to 1,000 percent from 1960 to 1998. Households headed by single mothers increased by more than 25 percent, and those led by single fathers grew, get ...
4223. Exuberant and Full of Joy
Mark 10:1-12
Illustration
Donald B. Strobe
There's something exuberant and unrestrained about children. They have an enthusiasm for life that we tend to lose as we grow older. They have a sense that anything is possible. As adults, we admire children's childish enthusiasm. But it seems that we also tend to encourage the kids to outgrow it. Syndicated columnist Ellen Goodman, a few years ago, wrote these wise words: "We raise our children with ethical time bombs, built-in disillusionment alarms. We allow our children their ideals until they are ...
4224. Don’t Hope…Decide
Mk 10:1-12
Illustration
King Duncan
Michael Hargrove tells about a scene at an airport that literally changed his life. He was picking up a friend. He noticed a man coming toward him carrying two light bags. The man stopped right next to Hargrove to greet his family. The man motioned to his youngest son (maybe six years old) as he laid down his bags. They hugged and Hargrove heard the father say, "It's so good to see you, son. I missed you so much!" "Me, too, Dad!" said the son. The oldest son (maybe nine or ten) was next. "You're already ...
4225. Strange Arithmetic
Mark 10:7
Illustration
Donald B. Strobe
Dr. Paul Popenoe, the famous marriage counselor, was talking to a young husband who had been openly critical of his wife. Dr. Popenoe was explaining how two become one in marriage. In a smart reply the husband said, "Yes, but which one?" The counselor said, "A little of each." Then he went on to explain that in marriage you have to develop "we-psychology"...and to think of yourself in terms of a pair rather than as an individual. What happens when two become one in a real marriage? Some think that it ...