Erma Bombeck wrote about having the meanness parents in all the world: I had the meanest parents in all the world. When I was seven years old they dared to spank me just because I told them I would not do what they asked me to do to help around the house. My friend next door never got spanked. He didn't have to help at home. He had nice parents. I had the meanest parents. I had to eat all my broccoli and carrots before they would ever let me have dessert. My friend next door never had to eat vegetables. He ...
3527. We Need Help
John 14:15-31
Illustration
Brett Blair
Some of you are old enough to remember Richard Daly who was mayor of Chicago for 21 years (1955-1976). Mayor Daly was known as a rather forbidding guy to work for. One story goes like this. One of Mayor Daly's speech writers came in and demanded a raise. Mayor Daly responded as could be expected. He said "I'm not going to give you a raise. You are getting paid more than enough already. It should be enough for you that you are working for a great American hero like myself." And that was the end of it...or ...
3528. Always Alongside Us
John 14:15-21
Illustration
A student named Steve Winger from Lubbock, TX was taking a challenging class in Logic. The course and teacher were known for exacting and demanding exams. The final exam was looming, and the professor mercifully told the class that each student would be permitted to bring in a single 8 x 11 ½ inch sheet with as much information as they could put on that one sheet for help during the test. On exam day, each student came to class clutching their precious pieces of paper with as much information as possible. ...
3529. Good and Bad “Magical Thinking”
Acts 17:22-31
Illustration
Leonard Sweet
We live in an age where incredible scientific advancements take place everyday. Take GRIN, the acronym for (G) genetic engineering, (R) robotics, (I) information technology and (N) nanotechnology. The human genome has been mapped. Nanotechnology is constructing miniscule machines that can deliver inter-cellular messages or make molecular level repairs. Astrophysicists have mapped the curvature of the universe, delved into black holes, listened to the echoes of the Big Bang. Scientific inquiry and ...
Participation in the right religion, being a member of the correct cult, was a key ingredient in the first century's recipe for success. Well-timed sacrifices to the proper deity ensured benevolence and blessing for the believer. Secret Gnostic sects relied on special "gnosis" ("knowledge") to give them a boost up in life. Conversely, displeasing the gods, disregarding their whims, disobeying their directives, invited disaster and destruction into one's life. Even within Judaism the hardships endured by ...
3531. Losing Sight of Life's Goals
John 17:1-11
Illustration
Brett Blair
In Steven Covey's best seller "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," he talks about losing site of our main goals in life. In no other place are the consequences more destructive than in our families: Covey writes: "I value my children. I love them, I want to help them. I value my role as their father. But I don't always see those values. I get caught up in the "thick of thin things." What matters most gets buried under layers of pressing problems, immediate concerns, and outward behaviors. I ...
3532. For All Peoples
John 17:1-11
Illustration
Down at the University of Alabama at Birmingham Steve Jacobs, the rabbi of Temple Emanu-El was always a big hit with the students. I listened one day after class as he chatted with students. One bright young lady asked shyly, "Rabbi Jacobs, I really have been interested in the things you say, would I be allowed to come to your synagogue for services?" Steve turned to the young woman and smiled. "At the top of our building," he said, "it is written, 'My house shall be called a house of prayer for all ...
3533. A Weapon Terrible to Behold
Illustration
Brett Blair
In one of my favorite Peanuts cartoons, Lucy comes into the living room to find Linus in control of the TV. She demands he change the channel. "What makes you think you can walk right in here and take over?" asks Linus. "These five fingers," says Lucy. "Individually they're nothing but when I curl them together like this into a single unit, they form a weapon that is terrible to behold." "Which channel do you want?" asks Linus. Turning away, he looks at his fingers and says, "Why can't you guys get ...
John 17:1-19
A myriad of men are born; they labor and sweat and struggle;...they squabble and scold and fight; they scramble for little mean advantages over each other; age creeps upon them; infirmities follow; ...those they love are taken from them, and the joy of life is turned to aching grief. It (the release) comes at last -- the only unpoisoned gift earth ever had for them -- and they vanish from a world where they were of no consequence,...a world which will lament them a day and forget them forever.
In 1926, a wealthy Toronto lawyer named Charles Vance Millar died, leaving behind him a will that amused and electrified the citizens of his Canadian province. Millar, a bachelor with a wicked sense of humor, stated clearly that he intended his last will and testament to be an "uncommon and capricious" document. Because he had no close heirs to inherit his fortune, he divided his money and properties in a way that amused him and aggravated his newly chosen heirs. Here are just a few examples of his strange ...
3536. The First Fruits of the Spirit
2 Peter 1:1-11
Illustration
Jane Shepherd
Do we have the first fruits of the Spirit? Can someone coming into our door to visit for the first time recognize these traits in us? Love: do we love each other, and do we love those who are different from us? Do we love and welcome visitors, no matter who they are? Do we try to make their acquaintance, so that we can love them? Do we put their comfort above our own? Goodness: Peter tells us to support our faith with goodness, and goodness with knowledge. Our salvation is the result of God's goodness. ...
3537. Driven by Great Purpose
Acts 2:1-21
Illustration
King Duncan
A schoolmaster in France was discouraged with one of his student Louis. He wrote in his roll book concerning this student: "He is the smallest, the meekest, the most unpromising boy in my class." Half a century later, an election was held in France to select the greatest Frenchman. By popular vote, that meekest, smallest, most unpromising boy was chosen. His name? Louis Pasteur, the founder of modern medicine. At age seventy-three, a national holiday was declared in his honor. He was too old and weak to ...
3538. Leaning, Leaning, Leaning
Acts 2:1-21; Deut 33:27
Illustration
King Duncan
The year was 1887, and a humble music professor named A.J. Showalter received some sad news. Two of his former students had just lost their wives. Both of these men were in despair, and looked to their old music professor for comfort. Showalter had always been deeply devoted to his students. He had no comforting words of his own, so he turned to Scripture, where he found this verse from Deuteronomy 33:27, The eternal God is your refuge, And underneath are the everlasting arms . . ." Out of this verse, ...
3539. Waiting to Exhale
Acts 2:1-21
Illustration
A character in John Updike's novel, A Month of Sundays, reflecting on his youthful experience of the church, says, "Churches bore for me the relation to God that billboards did to Coca-Cola; they promoted thirst but did nothing to quench it." The Holy Spirit empowers the church to be the agent of change in the world, a counter-cultural entity. The task of the church is to breathe in the Spirit and be inspired by the Spirit to act on behalf of God. But the church has been waiting to exhale far too long. As ...
3540. Shaken from Our Sanctuaries
Acts 2:1-21
Illustration
King Duncan
A few years ago, AT&T had a major snafu in New York City. They had an agreement with the city that, when electrical demand peaked, AT&T would switch to their backup generators. One day they did that, and something went wrong. When they switched over, the resulting power surge blew a number of rectifiers. Not only did that knock out phone service in the area, it also disrupted communications for air controllers at Kennedy, LaGuardia, and Newark airports. Over a thousand flights were affected. Usually, ...
3541. Settling for Less
Acts 2:1-21; John 14:1-14
Illustration
Maxie Dunnam
Charles Schultz, the artist who provides us with the Peanuts cartoons, is one of my favorite theologians. That ought to tell you something about the kind of seminary president I am. In one of his cartoon series, he has Snoopy, that hound of heaven, saying of Woodstock, that would-be bird of paradise; "Someday, Woodstock is going to be a great eagle." Then in the next frame he says, "He is going to soar thousands of feet above the ground." Woodstock takes off into the air and as Snoopy looks on he sees the ...
3542. Unless…
Acts 2:1-21
Illustration
William Blake
The poet William Blake wrote a poem about Pentecost. Part of the poem says: Unless the eye catch fire, God will not be seen. Unless the ear catch fire, God will not be heard. Unless the tongue catch fire, God will not be named. Unless the Heart catch fire, God will not be loved. Unless the mind catch fire, God will not be known.
3543. Sermon Opener or Ender for Pentecost
Acts 2:1-21
Illustration
Rick Kirchoff
Welcome to Pentecost in the 2020s! It is a time to open up to the mind-blowing, heart-warming, life-changing power of God. The power of God can invade the body, inflate the mind, swell the soul, lift the Spirit and make us more than we ever imagined. It'll make you young when you're old, and it'll make you live even when you die. The power and presence of the Spirit will disturb, delight, deliver and lift. When God sends forth the Spirit, "the whole face of the earth is renewed." When God sends forth the ...
3544. Gave It All Up
Acts 2:1-21; Matt 28:16-20
Illustration
C. T. Studd
C. T. Studd inherited a fortune from his father, one of the wealthiest Englishmen of the latter 19th century, but Studd gave it all up to become a missionary to China, India and Africa. Why? Here he is in his own words: "Christ's call is to feed the hungry, not the full; to save the lost, not the stiff-necked; not to call the scoffers, but sinners to repentance; not to build and furnish comfortable chapels, churches and cathedrals at home in which to rock Christian professors to sleep by means of clever ...
3545. An Amazing Organization
Acts 2:1-21
Illustration
Russ Blowers
At a rotary club, local business owners were introducing themselves and explaining their businesses. Finally, the local minister stood (you might, for a bit of humor, name your denomination - example: "the local United Methodist Minister stood") to address the gathering. He began his speech by describing his "business": "I'm with a global enterprise. We have branches in every country in the world. We have our representatives in nearly every parliament and boardroom on earth. We're into motivation and ...
3546. Is It Well with Your Family? - Sermon Starter
Rom 16
Illustration
Brett Blair
I must candidly confess that when I was in seminary the 16th chapter of Paul's letter to the Romans didn't do much for me. It struck me as being boring nothing more than a long presentation of people's names, most of whom I could not pronounce; I usually skimmed over that part so I could get to what I considered to be the real Gospel. Over the years I have greatly changed my attitude about this particular chapter and I have discovered that there is much more to it than I had first imagined. For example, it ...
3547. The Most Important Job in the World
2 Timothy 1:5
Illustration
James W. Moore
Dr. Tony Campolo is a well-known and highly-respected, inspirational speaker. Years ago Tony Campolo spent much of his time traveling around the world on speaking tours. Meanwhile, his wife, Peggy, chose to stay home and give herself and all that she has to the "Bringing Up" of their two children, Bart and Lisa. On those rare occasions when Peggy did travel with Tony, she found herself engaged in conversations with some of the most accomplished, impressive, influential, sophisticated people in the world. ...
3548. What’s a Good Mother Like?
2 Timothy 1:5
Illustration
King Duncan
Judith Viorst once wrote an essay based on interviews she had with children. The subject was "What's a good mother like?" Viorst reports that the children expected their mother to get angry from time to time. "She has to," said Ted, "or she'll faint from holding it in." "But it's best to remember," said Randy, "that when your mother starts to act real weird, you have to look scared and serious. Don't giggle. When mommies are mad, they get madder if you giggle." "My mommy got so mad," said Megan, "that she ...
3549. Unconventional Mother’s Day Gifts
2 Timothy 1:5
Illustration
This Mother's Day take a moment to think of all the mothers in the world who are in need. There are millions of women in the world living on less than a dollar a day. There are women in this country who are wondering how they are going to feed or diaper their children from day to day. There are children who need medical attention that their parents may not be able to afford. Anyone who has ever had to worry about such things can deeply sympathize. For those of us who have escaped such worries, we can only ...
2 Timothy 1:5
A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.