The world is getting scarier all the time. You never know what perfectly terrifying thing will happen next, even in a small town. A newspaper column years ago by Lydel Sims tells the fearful experience of Mrs. Wilma Sullivan, a widow who lives alone in Portageville, Missouri. "You just won't believe what happened to her the other night when she was sleeping in her quiet house on a quiet street among quiet and friendly neighbors. She had gone to bed about 11:30...Not that she had worried unduly about her ...
The red flag on the parking meter was visible, and sure enough, Scott Seomin found a souvenir on his windshield. It wasn't a ticket from the city of West Hollywood, California, however. Instead it was a poem that went like this: The meter was red, as time had expired. In the rush of the season, we knew you'd be tired. A parking ticket would just make you blue, And in the holiday spirit this just would not do. So during this time of friendship and good cheer, Season's greetings to you and best wishes all ...
Any of you who have ever tried speaking in front of people will appreciate the predicament that Dr. Ralph D. Nichols of the University of Minnesota once found himself in. He was addressing a high school commencement when suddenly a child began to cry. That was distracting, but not too much of a problem. But then another child added his loud voice. And then a couple of small boys started galloping up and down the aisle. With the sinking feeling only a public speaker knows, Nichols realized he had lost his ...
For just a moment, I want you to imagine a lightning rod on top of our steeple [rather than a cross]. Some cynic with a wicked sense of humor has said that, if it were up to most of its members, modern churches would have lightning rods on their steeples instead of crosses in memory of that time when lightning struck the early church. He’s speaking of the amazing events that happened on the Day of Pentecost. But then he adds, “The lightning rods would serve as protection against such events ever happening ...
“From silly devotions and sour faced saints,” prayed St. Teresa, “good Lord deliver us.” Let’s make a deal: I will try not to make this sermon a “silly devotion” if you will not look at me with a sour face. Our subject today is joy. I thought we might begin with a little church humor: A pastor caught three small children stealing oranges from his tree. “Do you know what the Bible says about thieves?” he asked. “Yes sir!” one answered. “Today you will be with me in paradise!” A florist’s new assistant took ...
A health-food enthusiast was dominating conversation at a party. "I don''t eat food with additives, preservatives or anything that''s been sprayed," he said forcefully. "Nor do I eat anything with chemicals added to it." "How do you feel?" asked an interested listener. With a sad look on his face he replied, "Hungry!" This morning we are dealing with a theme that is important to many of us and relevant to all of us--the stewardship of our environment. The care of the earth is dear to God''s heart. It ...
The disciples were distressed. They had good reason to be. Jesus had just told them that He was about to leave them. The One whom they had loved most in all the world was going to go away. Soon they would be on their own. How would they carry on without Him? How could they face the world without the encouragement and support of His presence beside them? It seemed to be the end of everything. Then it was that Jesus said some very strange things to them. He told them that it would actually be to their ...
A clerk in a gift shop in California was responding to an inquiry from a customer about purchasing a gold cross. The clerk said, “Yes, madam, we do have gold crosses. Do you want a plain one or one with a little man on it?” To an outsider, the cross must seem like a very strange thing to have at the center of our worship. It was a particularly gruesome instrument of torture and death. It is sort of like having an electric chair or a hangman’s noose at the center of our attention. Outsiders may wonder at ...
Baseball legend George Herman "Babe" Ruth was playing one of his last full major league games. The Boston Braves were playing the Reds in Cincinnati. The old veteran wasn't the player he once had been. The ball looked awkward in his aging hands. He wasn't throwing well. In one inning, his misplays made most of the runs scored by Cincinnati possible. As Babe Ruth walked off the field after making a third out, head bent in embarrassment, a crescendo of "boos" followed him to the dugout. A little boy in the ...
Before there was Harry Potter, there was Bilbo Baggins, the hobbit. In J. R. R. Tolkien's wise fantasy, this short, hairy-footed resident of the Shire in Middle-Earth was a well-to-do bachelor and country squire. Comfortable and conventional, but just a touch bored with life, he nevertheless was shocked when the mysterious wizard, Gandalf, knocked on his door one spring morning and requested his services as (of all things) a thief. The clever, nimble-fingered hobbit was just the person to help a struggling ...
The price of a vital faith, and there is a price, the price of a vital faith is continuous struggle. The quest is perennial. We were created God to grow. We were recreated by Christ to grow spiritually. So Paul sets out in this word about pressing toward the goal for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. The pattern is clear. So let me lay it out in the fashion of that old black preacher who said of his preaching, first, I tell them what I’m going to tell them. Then I tell them. And then I ...
Cast Storyteller 1 Storyteller 2 Snuffy Pete Mr. Cabot Waitress Nurse (Waitress and Nurse could be played by the same actor) (The Storytellers are seated at stage left and stage right. In the center of the stage are two small benches. Mr. Cabot, Waitress, and Nurse sit upstage, facing away from the audience until they "enter." Snuffy Pete is seated on the right bench, with stomach extended, looking stuffed and uncomfortable) Storyteller 1: Snuffy Pete took his seat on the second bench as you enter Union ...
I found this job description circulating on the Internet this past week. Anyone interested? [You may want/need to shorten this.] WANTED: Mom JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping ...
It's impossible to travel "chic-ly" [stylishly] when you travel with children. I don't care how beautifully matched your luggage; I don't care how organized you pack. Even if you get your kids those cute little rolling suitcases, you will still arrive at your destination with a messy entourage of unpackables. Depending on the children's ages and infatuations, these may be stuffed animals (think Beanie Babies), cars and trucks (think Matchbox), or beeping, blinking boxes (think GameBoy). The one constant in ...
After Confederate General Robert E. Lee retired from the military, he was named President of Washington & Lee University in Lexington, Virginia, originally named Washington Academy because of a gift from George Washington. The name was changed in 1871 in honor of General Lee. While Lee was president of the University, a new student came into his office and asked for a copy of the school's rules and regulations. Lee looked at him and said, "Son, we don't have any rules and regulations in print." The young ...
Life's second half can be life's best half. In the '60s, when all the boring old "baby boomers" were young, a much-quoted mantra declared, "Never trust anyone over 30." Now that boomers can probably find old college T-shirts in their closets that would be too old to trust, that phrase sounds ridiculous. How times have changed! Jerry Rubin, the yippie-turned-yuppie, has a new mantra. "I used to say, don't trust anyone over 30. Now, I say, don't trust anyone under 50." The fact is that even as the '60s saw ...
Everybody knows about the famous comedian, David Letterman, and his "top ten list." As you know, God also has a "top ten list" and it goes like this: 1. You shall have no other gods before Me. 2. You shall not make for yourself a carved image. 3. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain. 4. Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. 5. Honor your father and your mother. 6. You shall not murder. 7. You shall not commit adultery. 8. You shall not steal. 9. You shall not bear false witness ...
Years ago I heard the story of a Pastor who was preaching and casting the vision for the future of their congregation. He told them, "With God's help we can see the day when this church will go from crawling to walking." And the people responded, "Let the church walk, Pastor, let the church walk." He continued, "And when the church begins to walk, next the church can begin to run." And the people shouted, "Let the church run, Pastor, let the church run!" Fired up, he continued, "And finally the church can ...
Once there was a little boy who wanted to meet God. He knew it would be a long trip to where God lived, so he packed a suitcase full of Twinkies and cans of root beer (his two favorite foods) and set off on his journey. He had only gone a few blocks when he passed an older woman, sitting on a park bench and just staring at some pigeons. She looked sad and lonely, so the boy went over and sat down next to her. He opened his suitcase, took out a package of the Twinkies and offered it to her. She gratefully ...
Let me begin with three true stories. The thread that runs through them and links them together will be obvious. (1) The first story comes from the Winter Olympics of 2006. It was one of the most memorable moments in Olympic history,… but it was not the memory that Lindsey Jacobellis had dreamed of, hoped for and wanted. She was way ahead in the snow-board cross finals… so far ahead that some say she could have crawled across the finish line and won the Gold Medal. But, she got carried away… caught up in ...
‘Twas the day after Christmas When all through the place There were arguments and depression— Even mom had a long face. The stockings hung empty; And the house was a mess. The clothes didn't fit; Dad was under stress. The family was irritable; The children were not pleased. The instructions for the swing set Were written in Chinese. The bells no longer jingled; And no carolers came around. The sink was stacked with dishes; And the tree was turning brown. The stores were full of people Returning things that ...
"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" It's not just children of a certain age who ask that question, although they certainly do. I've been on a number of trips in the past few years with delayed flights, missed connections, and lost luggage, where I've been the one asking the question. Leading up to Christmas (or a birthday or wedding or trip to Disney World) the question becomes one of time rather than distance: "Is it here yet?" On such occasions, we give advice that sounds very much like that in James 5 ...
A. It was weird. It was really weird. The sky that afternoon had taken on a ghastly, ghostly, almost haunted hue. Ever since the midday bells had rung it had been like the edge of night. The darkness of the day seemed to reflect the way the apostle felt. It seemed to reflect the darkness of his soul and the darkness of the event taking place. John; one of the chosen twelve; one of the inner circle of leadership; the one who always seemed closest to Jesus, stood shrouded in his own sorrow. The lump in his ...
Are you familiar with the legend of the robin? According to this tale the robin was originally a little brown bird. That is, until Good Friday the FIRST Good Friday. On that dark day this little brown bird saw a man nailed to a cross, slowly dying. He was all by himself . . . and there was no one to help him. The little brown bird began trying to free the man from the cross. The bird flew around and around until he found a way to remove a thorn from the crown of thorns that circled the man’s head, and in ...
In any list of unusual animals, you are likely to find the sloth. The sloth lives in trees, much of the time hanging from a limb by its four strong feet. The encyclopedia says, "Sloths sleep, eat, and travel through the forest upside down." It's a strange thought ... the idea of living upside down. If we did it, we would certainly see things differently. In a world where flowers grow down and balls fall up, anything seems possible. And, if anything were possible, maybe we would even see the ways in which ...