Sexy story, eh? We get lots of them these days. Parental Discretion Advised. In the comics Blondie and Dagwood are watching television. Dagwood remarks, "Boy, there sure is a lot of nudity on TV lately!" "I'll say," Blondie replies. They continue to stare at the TV, eyes wide open. Says Dagwood, "Darnedest tire commercial I've ever seen."(1) Uh-huh. If it is any consolation, as our lessons this morning indicate, a preoccupation with sex is nothing new, especially in high places. And if you were either ...
Interesting news this week. According to the population clock at the United Nations, there are now six-billion of us on this whirling planet.(1) Someone decided that a baby boy born to refugee parents in Sarajevo, a region returning to life after a decade of death and destruction and war, would be the perfect symbol for the push toward our next billion or so. According to UN Secretary-General Kofi Anan, the birth of little Adnan Nevic "should light a path of tolerance and understanding for all people." We ...
"How long, O Lord?" How long? Ever ask that question? Most of us have. They say, "Into each life a little rain must fall," but the truth is that there are times when the rain becomes such a downpour that we are about to drown in the deluge. "How long, O Lord." Familiar words from the beginning of the 13th Psalm, one of those marvelous bits of biblical insight we have come to call the "Psalms of Lament."(1) For what it's worth, almost half of the Psalms fall into this category. For that matter, laments are ...
Scout Sunday...and Groundhog Day, all rolled up into one. I was intrigued at the news stories this week about Groundhogs. They asked, "Why do groundhogs wake up each year in early February?"(1) A Penn State researcher says they might emerge from their dens in February, not to see how much more winter awaits, but in order to meet members of the opposite sex prior to mating season in March. The report is that boy groundhogs and girl groundhogs are not too much interested in one another for most of the year, ...
"I believe in God the Father, Almighty..." Do you now? Is this the same God that the folks down in Colombia believe in, the folks who have just lost homes, health, and loved ones in that devastating earthquake Monday? The same God to whom prayers are directed from those trying to survive the ethnic slaughter in Kosovo? The same God to whom the family of Tiffany Long [a local 10-year-old found raped and murdered] prayed for her safe return from school? "God, the Father, ALMIGHTY...?" Right! In Russell Baker ...
"The Lord is my shepherd..." Probably as well-known and well-loved as any phrase of scripture: the twenty-third psalm. Generations have memorized it, in Sunday School or at the knee of parents or grandparents. It is one of the first Bible passages we learn, and, as often as we hear it funerals, it is among the last words said over us when we die. A wonderful affirmation of our faith in God's ability to protect. "The Lord is my shepherd..." There is an old story out there of the man who, in the midst of a ...
Hmmm. "Wars and insurrections, nation against nation, kingdom against kingdom, earthquakes, famines and plagues...arrests, persecution, some put to death...days of vengeance...great distress on the earth...People will faint from fear and foreboding..." Whoa! What season are we in? What about "Peace on earth and mercy mild?" Actually, BOTH images are at play this morning. Yes, Christmas is coming - a beautiful time. But juxtaposed against that is a life of great uncertainty for all of us, a time when our ...
The Archangel Michael. We meet him here in Revelation as commanding General of God's forces in heaven. We meet him in the book of Daniel as the guardian of the nation of Israel,(1) who, together with Gabriel, fought against the prince (the angelic patron) of Persia. Then we meet him once more in Jude 9 where we read of a strange dispute between the devil and Michael over Moses' body. We meet him today on the liturgical calendar - in some church traditions, today, September 29th, is the Feast Day of St. ...
"A cheerful heart is a good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Amen? Amen! A really stupid old joke. Three fellows have just died and are at the pearly gates. St. Peter tells them that they can enter if they can answer one simple question: "What is Easter?" The first man replies, "Oh, that's easy, it's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and is thankful..." "WRONG," replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second man the same question, "What is Easter?" The ...
Years ago, a wise teacher of preachers advised us to prepare our sermons with the Bible in one hand and the newspaper in the other. His point was that sermons had to be relevant to the day-to-day lives of our people, and the best way to insure that would be to focus on what is going on in our people's world. Good advice, don't you think? So what has the newspaper (or the TV or radio or internet or whatever) had for us this week? Well, early on there was the story of the failed mission to Mars. After the ...
"...I will forgive their iniquity, and remember their sin no more." What a comforting word. Especially for folks who knew with every fiber of their being that they were in their current mess (and BIG mess it was) because of their sin. It was a wonderful word of hope. The word came from what might have been seen by some in that day as a surprising source...Jeremiah. By this point in the prophet's career (probably 40+ years by now), he was fairly well known. He was NOT famous for bringing words of comfort ...
There once was a retreat attended by the clergy of a community for the purpose of establishing support groups. To kick things off the leader broke the participants up into groups of four and instructed them to confide in one another. In one group, a rabbi broke the ice by saying, "I'll begin by sharing one of my most disturbing problems. Occasionally I slip out of town and give in to my craving for pork - I stuff myself with bacon, sausage, ham, pork chops, and sometimes even baby back ribs." At this point ...
An old-timer sat on the river bank, obviously awaiting a nibble, though the fishing season had not officially opened. A uniformed officer stood behind him quietly for several minutes. "You the game warden?" the old-timer inquired. "Yup." Unruffled, the old man began to move the fishing pole from side to side. Finally, he lifted the line out of the water. Pointing to a minnow wriggling on the end of the line, he said, "Just teaching him how to swim."(1) Mark Twain once spent a pleasant three weeks in the ...
Micah 6:8..."He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" Familiar words. Perhaps you memorized them in Sunday School in years past, or perhaps you saw them on the wall of the Library of Congress. (They are inscribed there.) They are an ancient answer to the modern acronym that Christian youngsters wear on tee-shirts, bracelets, and necklaces: WWJD - What would Jesus do? These few words spell it ...
Next week is Consecration Sunday as you know. For several weeks you have been getting mail from First Presbyterian reminding you of the event. We have a special guest speaker coming - David Oyler, the Stated Clerk of our Lake Erie Presbytery - a celebration banquet following worship, all in all, a very exciting day. Our leaders are providing you the opportunity to estimate your giving for the coming year so they might wisely plan the mission and ministry of this growing church. Well, I am about to commit ...
Lent. A fascinating time in the church year that Presbyterians and other Protestants are only beginning to appreciate. The name Lent has nothing to do with something previously loaned - it comes from an ancient word that meant "springtime," - that period of the calendar during which the days lengthen. Because the church season always fell at that time of year, the name came to apply there as well. Even after the word "Lent" no longer referred to spring, it was still used by the church to describe the ...
I recently read of the Rev. Martin Perelra of the Roman Catholic Our Lady of the Airways parish in Moulton, Ontario. It seems he was downtown bringing Communion to a sick member but was unable to find a place to park. So he DOUBLE-parked and left a note on the windshield. It said, "This is a priest. I circled the area for 20 minutes but couldn't find a spot. Will be back in five minutes. `Forgive us our trespasses.'" When he returned he found a parking ticket with its own note attached. It read, "I have ...
Have you been caught up in the "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" frenzy? For one-million dollars, what insect got into the works of the world's first computer causing it to short out and in the process started use of the phrase "computer bug?" A) Moth, B) Roach, C) Fly, D) Japanese Beetle. Dee-doo-dee-doo, dee-doo-dee-doo. A 25-year-old California man sat in the "hot seat" on Thursday night and agonized over the answer as millions of Americans looked on, and those who knew the answer in their living rooms ...
I heard a story once. A Mr. Jones picked up the wrong umbrella in a hotel, and the umbrella's rightful owner called his attention to it. Embarrassed, Mr. Jones offered his apologies, picked up the right one, and went on his way. But the incident served to remind Mr. Jones that he had promised to buy umbrellas for his wife and daughter, so he went across the street to a store and purchased one for each of them. As he came out from the store and began to get in his car - THREE umbrellas on his arm now - the ...
I am sure you have been hearing the reports coming from western India these past few days. Horrible earthquake, the worst in that nation in 50 years - 7.9 on the Richter scale, strong enough to be felt 1,200 miles away in Calcutta and Bangladesh, both well acquainted with tragedy themselves. Funeral pyres lit the night sky Saturday and officials said the rapidly rising death toll could reach 15,000.(1) Who knows how many more injured. It is terrible. In the midst of those reports you may have also heard a ...
"I believe in God, the Father, Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord, conceived by the Holy Ghost, born of the Virgin Mary..." After all, we call ourselves CHRISTIANS...CHRIST-ians. Of course, we believe with Simon Peter that Jesus is the Christ. Let me press you on that. Be specific. What exactly do you believe about Jesus? Some years ago, in my seminary days, our first course in Systematic Theology dealt with that question. Our professor described Jesus as "the ...
The parable of the talents is one of the best known of all Jesus' teachings. Its point is virtually impossible to miss. The master entrusted his servants with talents (a significant amount of money in the ancient world - one talent was the rough equivalent of 15 years wages for the average worker). The servant who received five talents was wise; he invested his talents and doubled their value. The servant who buried his talent in the ground was foolish, and thereby lost what little he had. Lots of lessons ...
Happy ending. Two wonderful healing stories, one sandwiched in the middle of the other. First, we hear about the little girl, Jairus' daughter. Word had spread that this itinerant rabbi from Nazareth who reportedly had incredible healing powers had arrived in town. Enter Jairus, one of the high muckety-mucks in the local synagogue who happens to be the father of a VERY sick child. Ordinarily, we would not expect Jairus to have anything to do with Jesus, period - after all, the leaders of other synagogues ...
Children. Several years ago a couple of books were published entitled Children's Letters to God and More Children's Letters to God(1) which collected some rather clever (and occasionally insightful) letters from youngsters to the Almighty. Listen to a few of them: • Dear GOD, In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? * Jane • Dear GOD, Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house? * Anita • Dear GOD, Did you mean for the giraffe to look ...
Jesus and Divorce. Tough text. In generations past, this would have provided no problem for the preacher - Jesus says No Divorce, the church says Amen (along with most polite society); case closed. Easy sermon. But these days, things are different. Jesus still says No divorce, but only part of the church says Amen while other parts say we are not so sure (and polite society says mind your own business); case NOT closed at all. I recall a conversation at our dinner table one evening about ten years ago that ...