A man is watching television. His wife is trying to engage him in conversation:
“Dear, the plumber didn’t come to fix the leak behind the water heater today.”
Husband: “Uh-huh.”
Wife: “The pipe burst today and flooded the basement.”
Husband: “Quiet. It’s third down and goal to go.”
Wife: “Some of the wiring got wet and almost electrocuted Fluffy.”
Husband: “Darn it! Touchdown.”
Wife: “The vet says he’ll be better in a week.”
Husband: “Can you get me a Coke?”
Wife: “The plumber told me that he was happy that our pipe broke because now he can afford to go on vacation.”
Husband: “Aren’t you listening? I said I could use a Coke!”
Wife: “And Stanley, I’m leaving you. The plumber and I are flying to Acapulco in the morning.”
Husband: “Can’t you please stop all that yakking and get me…