The Rev. Rosemary Brown tells of something that happened in a church she once served. One night she received a phone call that two of the little boys from her church were missing. The boys’ family lived across the street from the church. It was already pitch dark. Mom and Dad were in a panic. They searched everywhere and couldn’t find the boys.
Rev. Brown opened the door to the church and was going to use the phone in her office to call for more help. As she passed through the darkened sanctuary, she heard somebody say, “Ssshhhhhhhh,” and she looked down front and she could see the outline of two little heads. Those little boys were sitting down front in that darkened church. As Rev. Brown approached them, she asked, “What are you doing here?”
“We were waiting for the Holy Ghost,” one of them said. The little guys had been studying the Holy Ghost, or the Holy Spirit, in Sunday School, Brown explains, and there they were in God’s house waiting for that very same Holy Ghost to appear. (1)
Obviously that is one Sunday School lesson these boys had taken to heart.
It is Luke who tells us of the time when the boy Jesus went missing. His parents, Mary and Joseph, had made their annual pilgrimage to Jerusalem for the Festival of the Passover. Mary and Joseph were devoted to their Jewish faith. Adult Jewish males who lived within twenty miles of Jerusalem were required to attend Passover annually, but males living farther away might make the pilgrimage once in a lifetime. Women were not required to make the pilgrimage at all, which says something about Mary’s devotion. The journey from Nazareth was about 80 miles and would have taken considerable travel time. (2)
Luke is the only one of the four Gospel writers who tells this story, by the way. The other three Gospels are silent about Jesus’ childhood years. That may be because so many legends were already being spread about the young Messiah. That often happens with great figures. It’s like the story of Washington chopping down the cherry tree in our own folklore.
In these apocryphal tales about Jesus, Jesus made birds out of clay and breathed into them and they flew away. The neighborhood bully tried to pick a fight with Jesus, but when he went to punch him his hand just withered up and fell off. The robe Jesus wore as a baby magically grew longer on him as he grew taller, etc. In one such story, Jesus strikes down some children and raises them up again. Exaggerated stories like these always grow up surrounding great figures, and here was the most amazing life ever lived. The Gospel writers were very concerned with separating fact from fiction. Luke, a meticulous historian, felt this story of Jesus in the Temple was authentic enough to include it in his account of Jesus’ life.
It is a very human story. You know it well. Jesus is twelve. His parents take him on their pilgrimage to Jerusalem. As they are returning home, they discover Jesus is missing. Now, before we continue our story, we need to remember the significance of his being twelve. In Jewish culture, he is on the verge of being a man. We don’t know when the Jewish rite of the Bar Mitzvah was initiated probably much later in Jewish history. Today, when a Jewish boy reaches the age of 13, he is declared to be a man and a “Son of the Covenant” or a “Son of the Law.” A Bar Mitzvah is held as a celebration of this significant step in his life. After the Bar Mitzvah he is expected to 1) keep the Law, 2) learn a trade, and 3) attend a great Jewish feast. (3) Jesus was nearly of that age.
To be twelve was to be on the verge of manhood. In that time and in that culture a twelve-year-old boy was expected to shoulder more responsibilities than we might expect out of a boy of that age today. To put matters into perspective, if Jesus had been a girl, he might already be betrothed. In many ways it was a very different world.
You may remember a story that appeared in the newspapers last spring. It concerned Etan Patz the first missing child to be pictured on a milk carton. He vanished on May 25, 1979, after leaving his family’s apartment for a short walk to catch a school bus. He was six years old at the time. It was the first time his parents had let him go off to school alone. And he vanished. Last spring thirty-three years later, after receiving a tip, a man confessed to murdering Etan Patz.
Someone asked what Etan’s mother was thinking of letting him walk that distance by himself. Someone else explained that back then, in 1979, you didn’t worry so much about a child walking by himself on a city street. But after Etan’s abduction, society changed. People started being much more careful about leaving children on the own. Times change. Worries change.
Mary and Joseph lived in a different time. There was perhaps just as much crime as there is today, but it was a different kind of crime than that which stains our world. Parents certainly didn’t worry so much about a twelve-year-old boy being on his own. Still, it is shocking that it took almost a day for them to miss him. Part of this was due to the nature of Mary and Joseph’s excursion.
Part of the journey from Nazareth to Jerusalem was through hostile country through Samaria. It was a difficult trip, with some danger involved. This is why Mary and Joseph traveled in a group with family and friends. In those days, women and children traveled in front, while men followed behind.
Thinking Jesus was probably playing with his friends somewhere in the midst of this large company of pilgrims, Mary and Joseph traveled for a day. Then they began looking for him. It was then they discovered, much to their dismay, that Jesus was not with them. When they failed to find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him.
After three days they found him in the temple courts. Three days. That number may be significant. It is certainly a long time to have your child missing. When they found their son, he was sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. Luke tells us everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. When his parents saw him, they were astonished, but their astonishment was tempered by their exasperation. Mary said to him, “Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.”
Here the boy Jesus seems a little insensitive. “Why were you searching for me?” he asked. “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” Then Luke adds these interesting words: “But they did not understand what he was saying to them.”
Is there anyone in this room who has not felt at some time in your life that your parents did not understand you? Of course not. All of us have had times when we felt like our families didn’t understand us. Conflict within families, particularly between the generations, is as old as time.
It’s not easy being a parent at any age.
A teenager who had just received her learner’s permit offered to drive her parents to church. After a hair-raising ride, they finally reached their destination.
When the mother got out of the car she said emphatically, “Thank you!”
“Anytime,” her daughter replied with a smile.
As her mother headed for the church door, she said, “I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to God.”
It’s not easy being a parent. Particularly of a twelve or thirteen-year-old.
One woman said, “Doctor, I’d like you to evaluate my 13 year-old son.”
“OK,” said the doctor, “He’s suffering from a transient psychosis with an intermittent rage disorder, punctuated by episodic radical mood swings, but his prognosis is good for full recovery.”
The woman was surprised. “How can you say all that without even meeting him?” she asked.
The doctor said, “I thought you said he’s 13?” (4)
It’s not easy being a parent. And it’s not easy being a young person. Nature has constructed us so that young people go through sometimes radical hormonal and physical changes as they enter puberty. They start distancing themselves from their parents and they begin establishing their own identity.
The writer Adair Lara has an interesting way of describing these changes. She says young children behave like dogs. That is, they’re affectionate and love being around you. But when they hit the teen years, says Ms. Lara, they start acting like cats distant and finicky. They make you feel unneeded. (5)
That goes with the territory for many teens. Nothing could be more normal. Don’t panic when it happens in your family. There are times when all of us feel like our family does not understand us.
Remember, even as an adult, Jesus’ family did not understand him. Once, when he was at least 30 years of age, Mary, his mother, and his brothers came to him and pleaded with him to leave his ministry and come home. They were concerned about him and felt that perhaps he was going off the deep end (Mark 3:20-34).
Anybody in your family ever think you were getting a little too far out there? It happens. If it could happen to Jesus, the only perfect man who ever lived, it could happen to anyone. People worry about their children, regardless of their age. As time passes, children worry about their parents, particularly aging parents. That’s part of life together in families. Jesus’ family finally did come around, of course. Acts 1:12 indicates they were a vital part of the church after Christ’s resurrection, but there was a time when they didn’t understand him at all.
Jesus’ family didn’t always understand him, but they were always committed to him and he knew it. That’s what was important. Parents and young people need one another. Young people particularly need to know that their parents are committed to them and that nothing will ever break that commitment.
A tired mom opened the front door of her home to find a young minister from the neighborhood. The pastor said, “I’m collecting donations for the new children’s home we’re building. I hope you’ll give what you can.”
“To be sure,” said the beleaguered woman, “I’ll give you two boys, two girls, OR one of each.” (6)
Some of you know how that tired mom felt. You also know she was just kidding. There is nothing she would take in exchange for her children. Children may bring all kinds of heartaches, particularly during adolescent years, but they need to know that your love is a constant in their lives. They need to know they will never cease being your son or daughter.
Writer Richard Foster tells about a father who was walking through a shopping mall with his two-year-old son. The child was in a particularly cantankerous mood, fussing and fuming. The frustrated father tried everything to quiet his son, but nothing seemed to help. The child simply would not obey. Then, under some special inspiration, the father scooped up his son and holding him close to his chest, began singing an impromptu love song. None of the words rhymed. He sang off key.
And yet, as best he could, this father began sharing his heart. “I love you,” he sang. “I’m so glad you’re my boy. You make me happy. I like the way you laugh.” On they went from one store to the next. Quietly the father continued singing off key and making up words that did not rhyme. The child relaxed and became still, listening to this strange and wonderful song. Finally, they finished shopping and went to the car. As the father opened the door and prepared to buckle his son into the car seat, the child lifted his head and said simply, “Sing it to me again, Daddy! Sing it to me again!” (7) That’s the love of a parent for his child, a love like unto God’s love.
Jesus’ family was bound together by mutual love and respect. We can tell that by how the story ends.
“Why were you searching for me?” Jesus asked. “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” But they did not understand what he was saying to them. Then, says Luke’s Gospel, “He went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.” Jesus knew he was loved and that Mary and Joseph were committed to him.
Mother Teresa believed in strong family ties. “Only when love abides at home can we share it with our next door neighbor,” she said. “Then it will show forth and you will be able to say to them, ‘Yes, love is here.’ And then you will be able to share it with everyone around you.”
She told about the time she found a little girl in the street. She took the child to their children’s home. There at the home they gave the little girl clean clothes and they made her as happy as they could. After a few hours, however, the little girl ran away. Mother Teresa looked for her, but she couldn’t find her anywhere. Then after a few days, Mother Teresa found her. And, again, she brought her to the children’s home. This time she told a sister to follow the child if she should leave again.
The little girl did run away again. But the sister followed to find out where she was going and why she kept running away. She discovered that the girl had gone to find her mother. Her mother lived under a tree on the street. The mother had placed two stones there and did her cooking under that tree.
The sister sent word to Mother Teresa and Mother Teresa went to where the child was. Mother Teresa reported that there was joy on that little girl’s face, because she was with her mother, who loved her and was making special food for her in that little open place.
She asked the little girl, “How is it that you would not stay with us? You had so many beautiful things in our home.”
The girl answered, “I could not live without my mother. She loves me.”
That little girl was happier to have the meager food her mother was cooking in the street than all the things Mother Teresa and all her nuns had given her. (8)
That’s the way things should be in a family. Material blessing are not the only things that matter in a home. There will be misunderstandings, but there should also be a bond of love that nothing can break. Mutual love, mutual respect and the ability to accept and forgive will usually be enough to bind those basic bonds of human love for the entirety of our lives.
1.http://www.faithandvalues.com/viewer/text.asp?URL=http:%2F%2F
www.faithandvalues.com%2Ftx%2F00%2F00%2F01%2F16%2F1673%2Findex.html
2.http://www.bibletruthonline.com/Luke%202%2041%2052sermonfortheweekofJanuary1st.htm.
3. http://www.neverthirsty.org/pp/series/Life/LH015/LH01.html
4. www.mikeysFunnies.com.
5. http://www.allprodad.com/pod/playoftheday.php
6. www.mikeysFunnies.com.
7. http://www.karlcoke.com/Jesus_Bar_Mitzvah.htm
8. Mother Teresa, No Greater Love (Novato, CA: New World Library California, 1989), pp. 121-123.