Once upon a time, a farmer who was a deacon in his country church was summoned to serve on a federal grand jury in a city. He was gone two weeks. First thing when he got back home, his wife asked him if he had attended church services while away. Of course he had. "Did you know any of the songs they sang?" his wife wanted to know.

"No, I didn't," the farmer replied. "They didn't sing songs. All they sung was anthems."

"Anthems?" she asked. "What on earth is anthems?"

"Well, it's like this," the deacon answered. "Now, if I was to say to you, ‘Ma, the cows is in the corn,' that would not be any anthem."

"Of course it wouldn't," Ma put in.

"Wait a minute," the deacon went on. "If I'd say in a long, quavering-out, dying up-and-down voice, ‘Ma, Ma, Ma, the cows, the cows — the Holstein cow…